We head back to the apartment. Katniss and Johanna giggling. Haymitch pops open a bottle of champagne.
"Not too much. Busy day tomorrow" Effie says concerned.
"Loosen up doll" Johanna quips.
Johanna stands up on a barstool raises her glass and in a mock voice says:
"To the brave Victors who we are indebted to!" Then she straightens up "Here's to those bitches not killing us and throwing us a kick ass party!"
"Here, Here!" We say.
Katniss raises her hand
"Can we put something more comfortable on?"
Haymitch refills all of our glasses
"Here, Here!"
And me, Katniss, and Johanna run up the stairs. Katniss slips off her dress and I feel that wild feeling again. Needing to touch her I hug her close. I let her go and she slips into a pair of leggings and and one of my undershirts which makes me happy. I put on sweat pants and an undershirt and we meet Johanna who redressed in a flannel and leggings and the others down stairs. Johanna teaches us a drinking game they play in Seven where a category is chosen and each person writes an associated word on paper, a player shuffles the stack and each player without looking sticks the paper on their forehead each taking turns trying to guess what it is given clues. When one guesses wrong they drink, when right we all drink. Soon we're all drunk. Gale is sitting sideways in his seat, Haymitch still functional, the girls all loud chittering Diamond and Johanna stripping their clothes and dancing in their underwear Effie horrified Katniss laughing at her distress, even though not that long ago Katniss would have been the horrified one. Haymitch then pulls Effie onto his lap and kisses her deeply, then whispers in her ear and they depart the table to his bedroom. Johanna cat calls then grabs Katniss by the wrists and strips her to her underwear as well. Gale shifts in his seat uncomfortably. I feel the madness again seeing Katniss's exposed skin, I can't take it. Gale then leans back, lights a cigarette and swigs his beer. He slaps me on the back.
"We're two lucky bastards right now!" He quips.
I nod and smile, but I don't feel lucky. I feel hungry. Katniss sways and smiles at me. Johanna and Diamond begin kissing, and Diamond sits backward in Gale's lap. I feel sick I want no part of this. I pull Katniss by her arm and drag her upstairs. She seems shocked.
"You're mine" I say almost breathless.
"Peeta…" she says stroking my arm.
I find myself crying, and I'm not sure why. I don't want Katniss to be like that. Seeing her body is only for me. I'm shaking, furious on the inside that she indulged in such behavior.
"...You're hurting me"
I am, I'm gripping her arm tightly unaware of my own strength. I relinquish her arm. She's not scared, rather concerned. I'm so angry. I think of her in thirteen with Gale. She had stripped in front of Gale. He had been inside her once.
"He had you too. I don't want him to see you… Did you like him more? Was he better than me?"
She puts my face in her hands her eyes concerned.
"You fucking whore, you fucked him…. you fucked him! While they were hijacking my brain!" I have begun screaming. I hear footsteps up the stairs.
"Shhh… not real " she says "… not real"
Gale swings open the door….
"What the fuck is going on here? He hurting you?"
"No." She says
His accusation angers me, and I tackle him to the ground. I see the face of Cato and I begin to choke him. He punches me in return now on top of me, we're throwing punches at each other. More foot steps pound up the hall. Haymitch in his underwear throws Gale off of me then sits on me. Katniss and Johanna are holding each other and crying. Katniss screaming "Not real! Not real!" Over and over. Johanna releases her and instead of running to me she runs downstairs. Her shuffling through the kitchen supplies audibly.
"Johanna! Get her" Haymitch screams still on top of me. Gale is rubbing his neck.
Johanna sprints.
"Get the fuck off me!" I cry and throw Haymitch off me. I barrell down the stairs pushing Johanna out of the way. Katniss is laying on the kitchen tile blood flowing from her left wrist. I run to her take off my shirt and tie it into a tourniquet around her arm.
"Fuck! Fuck! Get a medic! Get someone!" I scream
I cradle her in my arms.
"I'm sorry! I love you, I love you, I love you." I scream to her.
Her glassy eyes meet mine.
"That's real?" and she begins to sob
"That's the only thing that's real"
I lay on the floor with her petting her hair we're laying in her blood. Johanna cries and a doctor arrives. He gives me a shot. Gale is storming around screaming for them to sedate me. Haymitch and Johanna begging him not to separate us. Haymitch weeping.
"He loves her, I'll babysit them. I'll stay sober, I'll babysit him. Send us back to Twelve. Being here has brought too much up."
Johanna begging along: "I'll stay with them, don't take them back to the hospital!"
In a fog I watch the doctor apply ointment to her arm closing the wound. He sighs. Gale screaming at him to send me back.
"They never should have come here. I'm ordering a home health specialist to stay with them in Twelve where they are CONFINED until their doctor deems them stable."
I lay my head back down. Now Katniss is whispering to me.
"I love you, that's real, keep me please. Stay with me. I made a mistake. I always love. Stay with me."
I hear Gale shouting at her "A mistake? He's the mistake!"
I open my eyes as much as I can.
"Always…" I tell her. My dreams are tortured, tracker jackers coming for her. Cato cutting my leg when I come to her rescue. My father telling me Katniss is real. Katniss singing to me the Valley Song. When I open my eyes she is singing me the Valley Song.
"Here is the place where I love you…"