I am still confused by the conversation that I had just had with Four. It was weird. Though I had just met him, I already felt like he wasn't the type of guy to stick around and have a conversation with someone like that. Especially not someone like me. Weak. I make it up to the cafeteria and immediately I look for him. When I don't see him, I feel this odd feeling like disappointment in the pit of my stomach and I wonder where it's coming from. I scan the crowd a second time and see Christina waving me over. She's with Will and Al and I join them, forcing the odd sensation away.

"What happened to you?" Christina asks.

I shake my head. "Nothing," I say. "I just wanted a few minutes, really."

"You're going to be okay," Will says. "It's just the first day."

I shrug as I pop some bread into my mouth. "I hope so," I say. "Second to last is pretty pathetic."

"You'll get better," Al says. I half wonder if Al is saying that to himself or to me. His name was also below the red line. The red line is going to be taunting me...as long as I'm beneath it, I am weak. And I don't want to be weak. I don't want Four...anyone...to see me like that.

I bite my lip to keep myself from saying something, to console him maybe? I'm not sure. Christina sets her cup down.

"So you guys heard Four say there was a tattoo parlor right?" she asks. I nod. "I think we should go get tattoos tonight."

"I agree."

She looks at me, a surprised expression crossing her features. "You? Really?"

"Is that so surprising?"

She shakes her head. "No," she says with a smile. "I thought you came from the part of town that looked down on that kind of shit."

She wasn't wrong. That had been my lifestyle and the way that my parents had raised me to see things. I shake my head. "It's my past, Chris," I say. "I'm not that person anymore."

She grins at me. "Okay, okay," she says holding her hands up in defense. "Let's go."

We get tattoos after we finish eating dinner. I didn't know what I wanted to get until I walked into the shop and saw the picture of the ravens. I have three of them on my collar now, leading to my heart. To me, despite me wanting to get rid of my weaknesses, they are a reminder of the family that I had left behind. Granted, I didn't have a choice in the matter, but I will never be able to see them again. That's it, it's over. I'm my own person now and I make the decisions. Even now I can still feel the sting of the needle on my skin. I stand in front of the mirror in the bathroom that's just off of the Pit, waiting for the rest of them to finish getting their tattoos. The skin surrounding the birds is bright red and it's sensitive to the touch. I lean in and squint, breath passing through my lips in a hiss as I press too hard against the skin.

"Don't touch that."

I jerk back and look at the person standing at the sink next to me. It's Four. Why does it feel like he just keeps showing up out of nowhere? I swallow, nervously. I don't know if I'll ever get used to coed bathrooms. My breath shakes, so I bite my lower lip to try to keep myself calm.

"What are you doing here?" He raises his eyebrows at me, amused, and I look away from him, back at my reflection in the mirror. "Sorry."

I reach back up and touch the birds again, my fingers gentler this time. "I said don't," he says grabbing my wrist and pulling me around to face him. My breath catches in my throat and I look back up at him. His dark blue eyes are focused on mine and it makes it hard to think. I lick my lips. "You don't want it to get infected."

I can't speak for several moments and I can't will myself to move. So we just stand there looking at each other before the echo of footsteps comes toward us and he jerks away from me like he's caught fire or something. I clear my throat and turn back to look at myself in the mirror.

"Tris are you in here?" I hear Christina before I see her, her giggling following her footsteps, and I realize that she's probably been flirting with Will. They appear in the mirror behind me and I notice Al's watching the space between Four and me. I lick my lips. "You done?"

I nod and smile. "Yup," I say before my eyes flick to meet Four's in the mirror. He nods at me like I had been asking him for permission and I realize, maybe a second too late that I have had been. I grab a paper towel to dry my hands and then I book it out of the bathroom with the three of them on my heels.

"What was that about?" Al asks. He's trying to sound nonchalant, but I remember the flash of jealously that had been in his eyes when he saw Four in the bathroom.

I shake my head. "Nothing," I say. "He didn't even say anything." Blatant lie, but I was hoping they wouldn't notice. I turn back to look at them, taking extra are not to look at Al because I don't think I can handle that look on his face. "How long did Tori say it was going to take to heal?"

"A couple days, maybe a week," Will shrugs. "At least yours isn't really easy to pick at."

I smile. "Try not to touch your tattoos, I say. "You don't want them to get infected." I don't notice that I'm quoting Four until the words are out of my mouth. And when I realize it, I can't keep the smile off of my lips.

We stay up late and I don't leave them early because I don't want to seem like that girl from the part of the city that wasn't exactly known for its fun. I still keep my plan in mind because I know that I have to get stronger and I have to train better. So I wake up a few hours later, way before anyone else gets up and I head upstairs to the Pit wearing my black pants and a sweater. I find one of the punching bags and began throwing punches against it. I don't know how long I stand there for, whacking the swinging beam back and forth. I pause and I look down at my hands which have become bruised and bloody.

"Jesus Christ, Tris," a voice says. "Why are you up so early?"

I grip the punching bag to keep myself from falling, leaning against it and I look over at Four. I shake my head.

"Why are you always around?" I ask him. My voice is quiet because I'm exhausted and I skipped out on breakfast. But I'm genuinely curious. I feel like every time that I'm alone he's always coming up and saying something cryptic. "Are you following me or something?"

He chuckles. "No," he says, coming toward me with a water bottle and a muffin in hand. "Here."

"Thanks," I say taking the food and taking a bite. "But seriously though," I say. "Why do you keep hanging around?" I ask. "I'm definitely not that interesting."

He stares at me and I avoid his gaze by taking a drink of water. "You really don't recognize me, do you?"

I take the bottle away from my lips and shake my head. "Should I?" I didn't recognize anyone from my old life, I didn't know many people. So his question throws me.

He holds my gaze for a few moments before shaking his head. "No," he says. "Never mind." I bite my lip before I decide to finish off the muffin. I feel better, if only a little, and once I finish I toss the wrapper into the trash. "You didn't answer my question, by the way."

I sit down on the ground, with my back leaning up against the wall. "I'm up because I'm the weakest."

"Second weakest."

I narrow my eyes at him. "That's not funny."

"Would you believe me if I said I wasn't trying to be funny?"

I shake my head. "No."

"Well I wasn't," Four says. "It doesn't matter where your rankings are on day one. Sure, the others might look at you like you're easy to pick off or something, but I know that you're not."

"I'm not strong, Four."

"You'll get there."

"How?" I ask. "I was up hours before everyone, but I don't feel any different."

He chuckles. "Tris, give yourself time. It doesn't just happen overnight."

"Why is it so hard for me?" I say. "And so easy for everyone else?"

He shrugs. "It might not be. People just know how to save face."

I get up from my spot on the floor so that I can feel like he's not looking down on me so much. He's still way taller than I am, so we're not exactly eye to eye, but it's better than me being on the ground. "So that's what I need to do?" I ask, tilting my chin up to look at him. "Save face?"

"No, you need to keep trying, and keep training."

"And what if that doesn't work?"

"Then I'll help you."

"You'll help me."

"Yeah," he says. "Is that so hard to believe?"

"Why though?" I ask. "Why would you help me?"

"Because I was you before," Four says. "I was where you were."

Now it's my turn to laugh. "I don't believe that."

"It's true."

"Did you have help?" I ask. "With training?"

"No."

"Then I'll ask you again. Why would you help me?"

The muscles in his jaw clench and I wonder if maybe I've pushed too far or said something that I shouldn't have. But there is no taking it back this time.

"Why are you so stubborn?" he asks, his voice hard.

"I could ask you the same thing!"

We stare at each other for a few moments, neither of us moving and I can feel my heart pounding in my chest. I swallow past the lump in my throat as he takes a step toward me.

"You know," he says, his voice soft. "People don't generally talk to me like that here."

"Well maybe they should." My voice doesn't come out as hard this time. It took almost everything to even force the words out.

He smiles at me, a half smile that sends a jolt through my body. He glances down my face and then back up at my eyes. I think that he is going to kiss me and I know that I want him to. But then he speaks "What are the birds?"

"What?"

He reaches down and brushes a finger underneath the smallest bird, far enough away from the raised skin that the only sensation I feel is the heat that spreads through me at his touch. "The birds.

I glance down at his finger. "Oh," I say. "They're supposed to represent my past. My family…the people that I've left behind."

His finger lingers for a moment before he drops his hand to his side. "You belong here, you know that?" He whispers to me.

I will myself to look up at him and when I do, his intense gaze stops my breath in my throat. I can't say anything, so I just nod. I could stay like that for hours, if I wanted to. If he wanted to. But then moments later, yells echo off the stone wall and my initiation class starts to enter the Pit. I move away from Four and head over to where Christina is looking at me with a curious expression on her face.

"Where were you this morning?" she asks.

"I just wanted to get some training done," I answer.

She nods. "What were you guys talking about?" she asks gesturing to Four who's started giving instructions on today's lesson.

I shrug. "I have no idea." And this time, it's not a lie.