****So, you guys...let me start by saying thank you for the AMAZING amount of reviews last chapter. Right now I am at a crossroads here...half of you want them together, half of you don't...I hope that whatever happens you will all be satisfied lol. Regardless, make sure you review and let me know what you think! I do read all of them and try to make you all happy without compromising the story too much! And I value the feedback you give me so much.****

"Why'd I have to go and do you like that?
Thought I'd moved on, then you brought me right back.
To the night you took my kiss away from me.
I took yours too, then I lost you."

Ashley blinked her dry eyes, staring at the flowered wallpaper that was coming into focus in front of her, the dark pink rose buds standing out against the light gray background of the wall.

"Hey, look who's up," Mark's voice drew her attention, pulling her out of the trance she was lingering in and bringing back the reality of everything she had just been through.

"The baby..." She squeaked out, her voice hoarse from not being used.

"She's fine, she's in the nursery, I asked them to feed her so you could get some rest." He smiled at her and scooted up on his chair, coming closer to the bed.

"Where are we? This room looks different."

"We were actually moved overnight to a new hospital. You've had some complications and the doctors thought you'd be in better hands here." He answered her, grabbing her hand and stroking it with his thumb.

Ashley stared at him, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "What kind of complications?"

"The doctor says you have pre-eclampsia, which is when..."

"I know what that is," She stated, cutting him off, "But that's not something I would have to be moved for." That didn't make sense to Ashley, who was starting to slowly remember the traumatic events from the night before a little more clearly now.

"I don't know Ashley, it's what the doctor advised and who am I not to want the best for my two girls?" He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it gently.

Ashley looked up to the ceiling, catching her breath from the anxiety that was starting to boil up inside of her, there was something very off with what was going on.

"I'll go ask the nurse if she can bring Violet in now so you can meet her. She's so beautiful Ashley." Mark stood up, grinning wide and heading over to the door to grab the nurse's attention.

Violet? "What? Her name is Violet?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She had been out of it, drugged so heavily that she hadn't even realized she'd been transferred to another hospital, so how in the hell had she possibly been able to name the baby? But Violet? That could have only come from her. She had planned to name her daughter Ava Grace, but not, not Violet. Her mind raced, spinning with the fucked up news and desperately trying to steer clear of that nagging thought that was pushing itself forward inside of her.

"Yes, you had told them you wanted to name her Violet Grace, you said that Violet meant something special to you and Grace, well that was because she was a blessing from God, something good in your life."

What the fuck, she thought, angry with herself for making that decision without consulting it with her coherent self first.

"There's Mommy," A short, red haired nurse sang as she wheeled the bassinet into Ashley's room. Ashley sat up straight, trying to strain and peek at her baby who was all wrapped up and sleeping soundly. "Here you go, sweetheart." The nurse handed the baby over to her eagerly waiting arms. "My name is Phyllis, so if you need something just let me know, if you don't see me you can get me by pressing that button right over there. I'll be here until eight o'clock."

"Thanks," Ashley whispered in response, only half listening as she stared at the tiny baby now lying snugly in her arms. She was the most beautiful, most perfect thing she had ever seen. Was this who was in her belly for the last nine months, the little monster who gave her constant heartburn and climbed up her ribs from the inside with her long toes? How could such a stranger fill her up completely with so much love? "Look at her nose, it's so perfect and cute."

"I know, didn't I tell you?" Mark responded as he lightly stroked the top of Violet's head, combing her short blond hair to the side with his fingers.

Ashley looked down at her little baby, her little baby, and couldn't get over the immense joy that she felt. She was the sweetest thing that Ashley had ever seen. She began to inspect her from head to toe, taking her in and memorizing every detail of her little body.

"So Violet? What's the importance behind that?" Mark asked her, his gaze never met Ashley's as he admired the baby in her arms.

Shit, that's right. With Violet in her arms she had been overwhelmed with elated emotions, and everything else, all the problems of her past that had been haunting her with their silent noise, well they had gone completely out the window. But now he had to go and bring it up again. "I don't know, I must have been on some pretty heavy drugs or something." She admitted, her statement being more of a truth than she could let herself admit.

Mark chuckled and leaned in to kiss her on the side of her head. "Well I think it's fitting, don't you?"

Ashley studied her daughter intently. No, she really didn't look like an Ava. She hated to admit it, but she did kind of look like a Violet. The baby's eyes opened, just a peek at first, before opening wider than Ashley could ever imagine a newborn's could open. Violet. She had Jax's eyes. Tears pooled in her own at the realization. Is that why she had named her Violet? "Yes," She told him, answering both Mark and herself.

Ashley continued to look her baby over, bringing up her small hands to her own nose, smelling their fresh, soft skin and showering them with kisses. Her thoughts began to drift to when she had gone into labor. Remembering that horrible news story about Donna, how she had died, gunned down in such a brutal, disgusting way...poor Donna. That's why she had decided to call Jax. He had sounded so cold and distant, but he had known she needed him, he had known she was in labor. But Mark had come home and interrupted their phone call, ripping it from her hands and driving her to the hospital without another mention of what she had done. But she could have sworn she saw Jax at the hospital, had she? Ashley looked over at Mark, her eyes filled with concern, and tried to figure out the best way to ask her questions without making him upset or causing him to shut down. Looking him over for a minute, she turned her attention back to Violet before she spoke.

"I saw what happened to Donna on the news." That's all she managed to get out, but she figured it was enough to get him to talk.

"Yes, that was very unfortunate."

That's it? That's all he could offer her? Unfortunate? Who exactly was it unfortunate for? Donna? Opie? The kids? Ashley tried to hide her irritation so she could continue her quest to get information from the one person whose job it was to know everything that was going on, "On the news they were saying it appeared to be gang related."

"That's what they are reporting, yes. Just try to forget about it Ashley." Try to forget about it? Was he fucking serious? He really needed to downplay Donna getting murdered. That was her friend, and she was just supposed to forget about it? Ashley knew at any moment her face was going to give her away and shut him down completely. "Just be thankful we got you away from SAMCRO."

With anger simmering just below the surface, Ashley immersed herself in watching her precious baby, but looking at Violet only made her think about the life she had left behind. Well, since he brought it up. "I thought I saw Jax at the hospital." Mark pulled his hand away and leaned back in his chair, his eyes still on Violet, "Was he there?"

"No," He stated flatly, "Must have been the effects of all the drugs they put you on. You don't seem to be remembering things correctly."

"I could have sworn I saw him and he was calling my name. Are you positive Mark?"

"Ashley," Mark started with her, looking almost pained to have to talk to her about this, "He wasn't there. He knew you were in labor and never showed up. He's married now Ashley. It's time for you to move on with your life too."

Mark's words cut her, but she was sure he couldn't have meant to hurt her. Could he? She felt the tears start to pool again, stinging her bloodshot eyes with their audacity, but she was determined to keep them inside, deep inside and locked away with every memory she had of Jax. What had she expected to happen? For him to just leave his wife and come be by her side, watching their daughter be born together? That was ridiculous. After everything he had done, the coldness, the cheating, if that wasn't enough to convince her brain that thinking he was the one for her was a lie, she didn't know what was. But maybe, just maybe, her ego was bruised knowing he didn't give a shit that she had needed him once again.

"You going to sleep all day?" Jax felt his comforter being ripped from his bare back, immediately waking him.

"What the fuck Ma," He groaned as he rolled over and shielded his eyes from the overhead light that she had turned on.

"It's 11:30 and Clay needs me down at the garage, Neeta can't come until 1:00 so you need to get up and take care of Abel."

"I'm up," Jax answered her as he got up and went over to his dresser to open the top drawer, pulling out the first t-shirt he found and slipping it on over his head.

"Have you heard from Wendy?" Gemma asked him, picking up pieces of discarded clothing which littered the floor in his room. Ever since Abel had been born, his mom had made it a point to clean his house. Maybe it was because Wendy was gone, or maybe it was because she was a mom, either way Jax found it way more annoying then helpful.

"She's still in sober living."

"And then what?" He could feel her stop and turn all her attention to looking at him, most likely trying to gage his reaction.

"I guess we'll figure it out when the time comes," Jax lied, just wanting to end the conversation. One thing he knew for sure is that his marriage was over, it was up to Wendy if she would be in Abel's life at all, and honestly, at this point, he wasn't sure if she would really be able to stay clean.

"Maybe you should figure it out now Jax, Abel sure doesn't need that junkie in his life."

"Jesus Christ Ma, you were the one pushing for us to get married, remember? I'm not sure if there is a woman you do approve of. First Tara, then Ashley…." Jax looked at Gemma, remembering what he had just experienced the night before, and talking about Ashley just brought back the emptiness that was starting to chisel away at him.

Gemma stared back, a knowing look entering her eyes as she squinted them in thought. "Well maybe if you'd stop letting your dick choose the women you wouldn't have to worry about hearing my opinion."

Jax glared at her before leaving the room to go get Abel from his crib. "Hey buddy," He grinned at his son as he picked him up, carrying him through the house to make him a bottle.

"Make sure you head over to the clubhouse as soon as Neeta gets here Jax. I'm not sure what you were really up to last night, but Clay's been looking for you." Gemma called out to him as she left.

Jax dismissed her, heating the bottle up for Abel. He would get to the clubhouse, but first he wanted to stop by the hospital to get an update on Ashley and the baby if he could. He had barely slept, high from the feeling of holding his daughter and preoccupied with the thoughts of how he was going to fix everything. He had to have his daughter in his life, with him in his life. But the obstacles were stacked up against him, Mark doing everything in his power to keep Ashley away from him, Clay and the rest of the club convinced she was a traitor, and the fact that Ashley's actions since he left her had been more than questionable to say the least.

He had to get Ashley alone, that was the first step. And if she got out of the hospital before that happened it would be hell trying to find her. Normally he could get Juice to help him locate her, but with the club already searching for their own reasons and the fact that a federal agent would be damn near impossible to find, he was going to be on his own with this.

And then what? He smirked to himself, imagining dealing with the piece of shit Mark, slowly and deliberately, then taking Ashley and the baby, bringing them back home with him. But what about Clay? Gemma? The club? And even Ashley? Things were too fucking complicated.

The elevator doors opened and Jax immediately started to scan the floor for his favorite nurse, only to find her already staring back at him in trepidation. His pace quickened, responding to the look of alarm she was currently silently drilling into him.

"Hey," His eyes hopped from hers to the nurse standing beside her, not expecting to be able to get any information with other people around them, "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Sure, this is about Abel right?" He caught on to what she was doing and nodded slowly in response.

They walked together, away from the other nurse, and she spoke hurriedly to him under her breath, "They moved Ashley and the baby last night to another facility."

"What?" He asked, raising his voice probably a little too loudly, "Where?"

"I couldn't find out, the records are locked and labeled confidential, the only ones privy to that information are her doctors and law enforcement. I tried Mr. Teller, I really did."

Jax leaned away from her, staring away in disbelief. "I'm so sorry," Her voice came out so meek and humble, but he couldn't speak, he couldn't think. The nurse finally turned to walk away when she grasped that he had no intention of responding to her.

"It's not your fault." He mumbled, not really sure if it had even come out. It's mine.

Sitting on his bike he couldn't remember how exactly he got there. She was gone. She was really fucking gone.

The ground ripped out from beneath him, his legs unable to find their footing in it's absence.

His breath, the same one she had stolen from him that day when she returned to Charming, was nothing but an uncomfortable bubble trapped beneath the hard knot that had taken over his chest.

His resolve, replaced with unease.

He remembered when they were kids, when he would protect her from anything in the world. He remembered when loving her was the easiest thing he could do.

He had lost her once before, completely. He had failed her, leaving her broken, changing her into someone he didn't even recognize.

But for a moment she was back and a piece of her had reached for him.

He stared at the horizon, not remembering how exactly he got there,

the actions, the words, the silence,

and she was really fucking gone.

****You know there is this box...right under here...just asking for you to let me know what you think, so...****