****Hi guys! It's time, finally! Please review once you read it and let me know what you think!****

Closing the door behind her, Ashley was finally able to exhale, her breath escaping the prison that her body had become. She slid her back down the door, choking on sobs that only grew stronger the closer she crumbled to the floor. She laid Violet on the soft carpet between her legs, relieved she was able to sleep through this, giving her the moment to have to herself.

The tears ran down her face, meeting at her jaw before dropping off to the floor. Overwhelmed with emotion, she couldn't pinpoint what the sadness was really from.

Mark?

She didn't love him and had thought of leaving him, but she couldn't bear to think he was hurt, or even dead. She was scared, relying on him for the past year to protect her and help her. He had been there for her, during her pregnancy and after, and even though things were different now...the tears wouldn't stop falling.

Jax?

Overwhelming wasn't even close to how she could describe how she felt being near him again. Her first instinct had been to run, to get away from him and pretend it never happened, scared of what he might do to her, hurt by who he had been, guilt from what she had hidden from him. And content? Was that what it was? The feeling she got when he looked at Violet, when they walked along together and she could see him sneaking glances at her sleeping baby? It hadn't escaped her how good he looked, how easy she knew it would be to fall into his trap again, because that's what it was right? A trap? Knowing that her weak past self was dangerously close to falling again...no, falling into that pattern...it was just comfortable, comfortable and addicting, that's all. Of course it was easier to be with him and pretend everything was normal than to be strong and protect herself. But she needed to protect herself, and Violet, from his life and everything, everyone, that came along with it.

A tightness formed in her throat and she realized she had been sitting there wallowing for hours, pretty soon there would be nothing left for her body to give. Her hand moved, stiff from sitting in the same position for so long and brushed up against the wrinkled envelope he had given to her. Her eyebrows creased as she tried to decide whether or not to open it up. Finally, exhausted and not caring any longer, she ripped open the top and dumped it out into her hand.

Inside was a small phone and a stack of money. She thumbed through the bills, there were so many, and saw that he had given her $1000. Now she was angry, angry that he had the nerve to sneak her money. She should be relieved that he would help her and Violet, but she felt angry. Was this his guilt? For not being there for her? No, of course not, she had taken that privilege away from him. Was he paying her off for taking away Mark? Her support? Knowing that her mind was twisting things she slid the money back inside. She decided to scroll through the phone and see what he left her with. But just like he said, there was only one contact inside...him.

Tired of being alone with her thoughts, exhausted from the roller coaster of emotions she had dealt with for what seemed like forever, she threw the phone across the room and watched as it hit the carpet, rolling until it rested under her couch. Her thoughts drifted to Mark for a second before she curled herself back up on the floor, letting the grief wash over her again.

The drive back to the clubhouse had managed to clear his head, but only slightly. What had started as something that felt really shitty had completely morphed into anger, bitterness and then determination by the time he finally arrived Teller-Morrow. He hadn't been completely sure how he would deal with Mark, but unfortunately for him, the longer he rode, the angrier he became. The way he left things with Ashley, coupled with the fact that he had been butting heads with Clay ever since he found out about Donna, left him really looking forward to being able to release some of his pent up frustration, and who better on, than Mark. It was Mark's fault that Ashley looked at him different. He had gotten in her head and manipulated her against him. Who the hell knew what he had filled her mind up with, but Ashley was fragile and Mark had taken advantage. Mark had taken his family.

As he pulled into the parking lot, he hoped he wasn't too late. Hopefully Mark wasn't enough of a pussy to spill to Clay where Ashley was living. But just in case, he was glad he had a way to contact her.

"Jax? Where you been?" Clay called from where he sat inside the shop.

Noticing the suspicion on Clay's face, he used the first excuse he could think of. "Italian bread you said, right?"

Clay just stared blankly, waiting for the rest, "Well I got a little distracted by a cashier and honestly, I totally forgot to even get the bread."

Clay smiled, "Your mom's gonna kill you."

"I'll pick some up when I'm done here." Jax answered with a smirk.

"Everything's wrapped up here, I tried to wait for you, but I'm glad I didn't if you were distracted by some check-out pussy."

He couldn't hide the frown that formed on his face, "It's done?"

"Yeah. Done, cleaned, finished."

"Did you get any information?"

Clay eyed him for a minute before speaking, "He claimed she never told him anything, which I have trouble believing. He also said to look near San Bernardino. So either he's enough of an idiot to lie for her, or he's telling the truth. I prefer to believe he's an idiot. And don't worry, we made sure it was painful."

"Is Juice on it?"

"Yes he is, I'm counting on him to find that little girl as soon as possible, because I'm sure that when the mister doesn't return, she won't waste any time pointing fingers our way."

"I know how it looks Clay, believe me, of all people I feel the effects of that shit the most. But I don't believe she's a rat, her father was SAMCRO, and I kept the club shit separate. Always."

"You want to be president one day?" Clay asked him, a clear stern warning in his eyes, "Then stop thinking with your dick. That's the second time today. Pick up the bread and I'll meet you at the house."

Two days had passed since she had seen Jax and Mark had not returned, something her heart had already come to terms with. With the baby safe, sleeping in her crib for what was sure to be at least a two hour nap, or so she hoped, Ashley started to search the house for anything that Mark may have hid from her. She knew there was bound to be at least one gun somewhere in the small house and she knew she would feel a whole lot better if she knew where it was. After spending hours searching his drawers, the garage, and even the tops of the kitchen cabinets, she remembered something that had always seemed odd to her. Mark had a habit of saving shoe boxes and piling them high on the closet shelves, something that always annoyed her because it left her with even less space to store things, much needed space in their small home. Pulling her step ladder into the closet, she began to pull them down, one by one to rummage through them.

At first she found nothing but old prom pictures and various momentos from his early days when he was in the police force, but then she began to find more interesting things. Pictures of her from when she first moved back to Charming, pictures of her mom, Jax and the club. Mark had been watching them for a long time. It relieved her to know that there wasn't anything incriminating in those pictures, but it alarmed her seeing how many were of her.

Continuing on to the boxes that had been buried by two or three above them, she finally found what she was looking for, well that and so much more. There were three guns all together, small hand guns like the one that Gemma had given her, and money, tons of rolled up twenties and fifties, enough to get the corners of her mind spinning.

She jumped as she heard a knock on her door, startled by the noise and confused by who it could be. No one bothered her here, not even a neighbor, not even a solicitor. Staying still, she figured if she pretended she wasn't home, whoever it was would get the hint and go away. But then she heard the knocking again, and again.

Eyeing the smallest gun in her pile, not even giving a thought to if it was loaded or not, she grabbed it and slipped it into the back of her jeans before heading to open the door. She peeked out of the front window and caught Jax trying to look through from the outside.

Huffing, she walked to the door, unlocked it and opened it up. Had he not heard her when she told him that she never wanted to see him again?

"Hey." He greeted her with a small smile, "Wasn't sure if you were home."

"What are you doing here?"

"I came to see you, and my daughter." He answered as he leaned forward, resting his arm against the door frame. He was wearing a navy blue shirt that said SONS under his kutte and his knife was completely visible resting at his waist, so typical. Just another reminder of why she wanted to keep her daughter away from that life. Another thing to keep remembering if she felt herself growing weak.

"You brought your knife for that?" She asked him, glancing down at his belt.

Straightening up, he followed her gaze before looking back up at her, "I'll leave it outside."

"She's sleeping anyway," Ashley informed him, hoping he would make the smart choice and decide to cut his visit short.

"Ok, we need to talk so it's probably better."

"There's nothing to talk about Jax, I told you how I feel."

She could see that he was beginning to lose patience with her, his jaw was flexing and his hands dug deep into his pockets, as if he needed to keep them still somehow.

"Do you really want to do this outside?"

Biting down on the inside of her lower lip, Ashley realized that he was not going anywhere. She turned to let him follow her inside, maybe it was better if they did hash it out, she could set clearer boundaries after she reminds him of all that he obviously forgot that he had done to her.

"You're carrying now?"

Oh, shit. Maybe they were beginning to be more alike than she realized. "Oh, um, I wasn't sure who was at the door." She pulled it out, laying it on the kitchen counter before turning back to him. Her mind was racing, she did have questions, lots of them really. What happened to Mark? How did you know Violet was your daughter? So many that she wanted answers to, but decided she would feel him out first. Biting down on her tongue to keep her emotions to herself, she waited for him to begin.

"What's her name?" So, he was going to ask the first question...and of course that would be it. That's what I should be asking, she thought to herself, thinking about the wife that he married so quickly.

Thinking it over, she knew that she could only stall for so much time before she would have to answer that. He was going to think that she named her for him, only proving once again how weak she was, how sad and pathetic she was that she just couldn't move on with her life like he did. But she just went for it, it was better to get it over with anyway, "Violet Grace."

She could see the acknowledgement in his eyes, and something else, something that showed her he was still human. He blinked a few times before responding, "Good choice."

"How did you know she was yours?"

"When you called me, I just had a feeling, and then once I got to the hospital..."

"You were at the hospital? Mark said..." She asked, interrupting him. She thought he was there, but Mark had said...

"Mark said what?" She could see his body tensing, and that's when she knew, there was no way in hell that they were going to get through this calmly.

"I thought I had seen you, he said that you weren't there, he told me you had moved on with your life, with your wife and baby..." He started to run his hand over his face.

"He knew I was there, I was fucking threatening him to let me see you."

Now it was Ashley's turn to get pissed and at this point she could sense that it would be stupid to even bring up what happened to Mark.

"He stole that from me, he kept me away from you that day and ever since, he tried to keep me away from Violet, but a nurse let me hold her."

"You held her? Jax..." Her heart was hurting, seeing how emotional this had made him. But she had to stay strong, she had to, for her heart.

"I'm sorry Ashley, I'm sorry I wasn't there, but I'm going to be here now. I will not walk away again." His words hurt more than they helped, bringing her back to the place she needed to be to finish this conversation.

"You left me Jax. You told me that you didn't love me, pushed me away saying I was too needy, fucked God knows how many whores."

"I thought I was doing the right thing. I wanted you to get out of Charming. I wanted you to be happy."

"I was happy, don't you get it? You made me happy."

"But you weren't safe, you were being attacked and I wasn't able to protect you. Mark told me how much shit he had on the club and he offered me a deal. He said he would keep you safe while I was on the inside."

"What?!" Why the fuck was she learning all this shit about Mark now? "Why wouldn't you tell me any of this?! And don't give me that shit Jax, you came out and never contacted me. You took advantage of me one night when I was drunk, and then went back to fucking your dirty skanks." She was determined to use as many words as possible to describe that disgusting woman she would never be able to get out of her mind.

"Why wouldn't I tell you?" His voice was rising in response to hers, "I'm not the one who hid an entire pregnancy...a kid Ashley, you hid my kid from me!"

"I was planning on telling you, I even went to the clubhouse when you didn't answer my texts or calls, remember?"

He stared at her, hard. She could see the anger he was feeling, it was written on his face, seeping through his stare and the rigidity of his body.

But she didn't falter, "Yeah, right. I loved you. I really loved you and I was stupid to ever think you loved me too. I went to tell you. You know the rest."

He glared at her, not letting her gaze escape his, "Do I? Because I thought you were fucking dead Ashley. It killed me knowing that, knowing the way I had hurt you."

Ashley flinched involuntarily. "You can't be sorry for telling me how you really feel." She had to turn from him. His intensity was bothering her, if she didn't know any better she would think he actually cared. Was this all for his daughter? Just to make sure he could be in her life? That was fine, but she wasn't falling for his bullshit again, that's for sure.

"Ugh," He sighed, rubbing his face again, she could see him thumbing his pack of cigarettes in his pocket, most likely craving one to diffuse his head from the hell this conversation was falling into. "You were dead."

"That was Mark's plan. That was to protect you. But when I saw you that day, it all flew out the window."

"Mark's plan? How the hell would that protect ME? Ashley, open your eyes, he was fucking obsessed with you or some shit. He was manipulating you. He wanted you and he wanted our kid. He was one sick fucking bastard."

Was? But Ashley couldn't pause to let his words sink in, "And what would you have done if you knew anyway? You had met someone and married her not even months after we ended. You would have what? Paid me child support and kept me in Charming, where both me and my daughter's lives are in jeopardy?"

"No, no...no...no," He said, pacing now angrily and pointing to prove he was right, "Your life, yours Ashley, is in jeopardy because you went running into the arms of a federal agent. That's why you have to live like this."

"That's only part of it Jax." She didn't want to tell him, part of her still cared about him, part of her still wanted to keep it from him so that he wouldn't go and do something stupid. But she had to admit to herself, would he really do something? At this point his loyalty lied to his wife, his baby, his family and his club. Why would anything she say have any effect on him, she had audacity to even think so.

He stopped his pacing and leaned back on her kitchen counter, tall and intimidating, looking down at her in silence.

"What ever happened to Rob?" She asked him, interested to hear what story Clay had fed him.

"Rob?" He asked, confusion evident on his face, "Rob died protecting you from whoever was attacking you. Or is he alive somewhere too? Unser told us that, they found two bodies, yours was the other one. "

"Really? How about Rob was the one attacking me. Mark called me, telling me to get my gun, he said that Rob was breaking in the house, they had bugged his car and they knew what his plans were for me. I shot him when he entered, but it wasn't enough, he kept coming at me, I even told him about the baby and he only laughed, thankfully Mark came and killed him. Mark saved me and the baby from your club." She felt bad, saying it so brazenly, but he was pushing her, he was not right, nothing he had done was right.

"What the fuck are you saying? Why would Rob be attacking you?"

"Because Clay told him to."

She expected some kind of reaction, his anger had been building this entire conversation. But he only leaned back against the counter again, growing eerily calm. He stayed like that for minutes, just calm and staring, causing Ashley to wonder what the hell was going through his head. But his face, his jaw was hardened, his eyes were as dark as night, his stare emotionless. She was almost afraid to say anything more.

Almost.

"It killed me to keep her from you. It consumed my mind every day. Every day that you were happily moving on with your life was a day that I was haunted by my choices. But I had to protect our baby, I had to protect myself and I had to protect you. Although at the time part of me was still stupid enough to think you didn't mean what you had done. But whatever, you wanted the truth I gave it to you. Now hopefully you will understand Clay wanted me dead and he's probably shitting his pants knowing I'm alive and that I was with Mark, able to expose him for what he had tried to do. I'm sure you'll agree that if he wanted me dead before, now he's probably making it his full time job to hunt me down. Now maybe you'll understand why I need to live alone with my daughter, away from Charming, away from the club, and you really shouldn't be coming here. So just go, go back to your wife that you married so quick, go back to your family, and don't feel guilty, we will be better because of it."

That was it, that was enough to inspire some sort of response from him. He pushed off the counter and came up into her face, leaning down and yelling angrily as the words spewed out, "I thought you were fucking dead. Dead Ashley. I mourned you, I buried myself in bad choices to numb the things I was feeling. I didn't get married for love, I got married because I had knocked her up. A fucking junkie, a fucking mess that I didn't recognize because of the mess that I had become. When I saw you, I saw a fucking ghost! A fucking ghost Ashley! Can you even fucking imagine?"

The level of his voice, his tone, his anger, it was alarming. Ashley started to squirm again, straining to try and hear if he had woken Violet up. How could she ever have slept through this anyway?

"And now you, you want me to believe that Clay told Rob to kill you. And the guys in my club were doing that behind my back? Going after one of our old ladies? We don't do that shit Ashley," Was he fucking serious right now? Ashley wouldn't cower to him, but he just kept coming, "Mark was a fucking liar, he would tell you anything he needed to to get you to be with him. Don't you see that?"

"It's true Jax. I know it's true. Rob had a fucking mask on when he broke in. When he was attacking me and I told him I was pregnant and he said that Clay would love that. It's not something I heard from Mark. It's something I saw with my own two eyes when we took the mask off of him."

The baby's cries filled the room and Ashley wanted nothing but to escape the room that they were in. She looked at him one more time before going in to get her baby. Her tears threatened to spill again, overwhelmed by the intensity of their talk. She couldn't believe that he refused to believe her. But she had known he would put his family and club first, it shouldn't have been a surprise.

Scooping up Violet, she changed her full diaper and put on a new set of clothes. Her daughter stared happily at her, looking at her through eyes so soft, so alive, so similar to the dark ones who argued with her before. Reluctantly she returned to the living room, but he was no where to be found. She peeked through the front window to see if his bike was there, but it was gone. Dead bolting the front door, her hand slipped lazily down and her body threatened to explode again. But she was too tired, so tired of it all.

****Please review! Let me know what you think. Are you glad it all finally came out? Did you think Ashley was too harsh? Can you tell what's coming?****