We sit at the window ledge watching sun as it dips below the jagged mountain peaks. I lay my head upon my husband's chest, he strokes my back. I close my eyes to a scene not unlike this one, in the arena, the beach where I kissed him and we were the only people in the world. I gaze up at him and he meets me with an eager kiss and it begins again the world fades into darkness and only me and Peeta exist.
"Hey honeymooners!" Johanna stands in the doorway. "Want dinner? Me and Volts are eating in our room."
I nod my head and we rise and follow Johanna to her room. Wait. She said our room. I stop her before we enter.
"What's going on with Beetee?"
"He understands me. We've been casual for a few years now but since the war we've been picking things up. He wants something steady now. I think I can do that."
I shrug I don't understand the attraction there. Beetee has nearly twenty years on her. He's logical, calculating, she's visceral. We enter her room to a cake. The rest of our troop gathered around.
"Surprise!"
Upon closer inspection the cake is actually a dessert tray.
"We jacked this for you! It's only fitting you have a wedding cake." Johanna says "But I couldn't find a cake so I swiped the dessert tray."
"Thanks so much I'm really touched." And I am. We spend our evening stuffing ourselves full of delights. Effie manages to get ahold of a kareoke machine and we sing. One by one we tire out and retire to our rooms. Peeta and I stare at each other from across the bed. I lean in and kiss him. He pulls me in close and returns my kisses. I can tell he's aching but we can't have sex yet. I reach down and stroke his member. He sighs as I do so. We continue to kiss as his hands run up my side to my breast stroking each one. I move his hand down to my clitoris and we look each other in the eyes as we manipulate one another until we come. We entwine our bodies and fall asleep. We're woken by Haymitch.
"Knocking asshole! Have you heard of it?" I yell at him.
"Breakfast. Effie has to talk to you."
Ok. We rise and put on clean clothes. We eat a breakfast of eggs and muffins.
"So, I can get you the interview, but I thought it would be a great idea if we did a wedding photo shop."
Peeta looks at me as I chew deciding whether or not to open up my relationship to Panem. It does show that life is good for us and we're otherwise unaffected.
"Do it." I say.
"Okay well we do have dresses Cinna left for you to wear. Now, the photoshoot is followed by an interview for the Capitol Magazine."
"What about Caesar?" Peeta asks.
"Tonight, live but from a secured location."
We finish our meal as my Prep Team arrives.
"Now Katniss, we're going for sexy this time."
They fill me in on the going ons of the Capitol while they work. Apparently the country has sided with current leadership, extra goods are shipped on an individual basis to Eleven and the other disadvantaged districts. They gave me long sleek black eyelashes, my eyes were lined black and gold and my lips bright red. They powdered me with body shimmer. They fashioned my hair into a sort of sloppy bufont big and teased and dressed me in a strapless flowing white gown with an open back. They left me barefoot.
"We want it to have a Twelve feeling to it."
I smiled. It's simple, and I like it that way. Effie picks out a black fitted pair of slacks for peeta which he matches with a white v-neck, and black dress coat. The photoshoot takes place in our room, with flower pedals strewn about the room. They take pictures of us laying on the bed. Sitting up holding one another. Individual pictures of Peeta looking dapper and myself laying upon the bed sexually. It's difficult because I don't feel that way. I feel plain. But they've made me appear like a vixen. We do an interview with Cressida.
"So it's finally official how do you feel?"
"We're so happy, our love is sealed and we're connected for as long as we live. There's nothing better. Katniss is a part of me which I can't live without."
"Katniss how do you feel."
"Relieved. Peeta is everything positive in the world to me." I'm surprised by my candor.
"Did the death of Annie Cresta Odair affect this decision?"
"In a way she and Finnick inspired us. They loved one another despite all the evil they faced. Despite Finnick being used and Annie being damaged. They made a whole person. That's how I feel about our relationship. We complete one another. I don't want anything to happen to either one of us and that not be formally established." Peeta said
"Annie's death affected us in a profound way. She was killed how my attacker was going to kill me. Peeta saved me. And the whole time I was being attacked all I could think is that I was only for Peeta. He's my life."
"So has the terrorist threat caused fear within the government and Victors?"
"No. It's reminded us of who we really are. Survivors. We go on our own terms. Like Katniss said during her propos "If we burn you burn with us"." Peeta answered her.
"Wow. Powerful answer."
"Well, Katniss you look beautiful is that dress by Cinna?"
"Yes, he left me a plethra of clothing."
"I love how although you're glamorous you look so relaxed at the same time."
"It captures the spirit of Twelve. We take marriage seriously but we're truly a people that believes comfort is luxury."
The rest of the interview goes that way, softball questions. When the interview is over Peeta is whisked away to the bunker underneath the building for an interview with Caesar. I'm allowed to follow along. I'm interested in what Peeta has to say.
"Peeta! Congratulations!"
"Thank you Caesar I'm a lucky man. Lucky man indeed"
"Very, very true. It's my understanding that you want to talk to me about more serious issues."
"I wouldn't call it that serious. I don't take these terrorist seriously. What kind of human kills an innocent woman and child? Who decides to come after Victors? It's playing with fire."
"Well, there is great concern for the Victors among the people of Panem."
"I appreciate their concern I really do. But Paylor is doing what's best for the country. We're fighters, that's what we do best, and we were in the arena twice. We know not only how to survive but to kill as well. We've all done it before. We're not scared."
"And your loved ones?"
"Well Snow took care of that didn't he?"
"Well, from me and the rest of Panem, we hope this whole terrorist business is sorted out soon."
"Thank you."
The interview ends at that point and Haymitch comes to take us back to our room.
"Shit, Peeta they're going to be pissed."
"Good."
"Peeta, they'll come after us." I say
"Sweetheart that's the point, piss them off, make them come out of their holes and become more brazen. Then we'll have a turkey shoot on our hands."
I consider this. Peeta is a mastermind, he plays the people of Panem like puppets.
"How'd it go?" Johanna asks.
"Extremely well!" Effie tells her. Peeta sits at the dinner table and lights a cigarette, I walk down to my room. I leave voices down the hall.
"I really don't want you doing this Johanna."
"So I'm just supposed to let Gale handle it? I'm defending us. I'm defending Annie!"
"You don't understand. I've lost everyone I loved. Everyone. I can't lose you. I couldn't go on another day."
"Come 'on Volts."
"No! Part of you and me being together is we express our feelings." I hear a body slam against the wall. "When you're away from me I hurt. Almost physically, the pain I feel. I couldn't go on another moment if I lost you."
"I'm not even a real person."
"Neither am I."
"Johanna. Look at me. Stay."
The voices stop but I can hear rustling around followed by the sound of a door slamming. Then muffled moaning. Soon Peeta comes in and changes into a pair of shorts.
"Looks like they're at it again."
"Yea."
"We can't exist without each other Katniss."
"I know."
"Not just you and me but the other Victors too. I need you more than anyone else I can't live without you. But we're a species."
A fucked up one I think. We're volatile, deadly, and broken. He's right as far as no one else could understand us. Peeta and I are deeper than that. We provide the other with what we need to survive. Maybe that's what Beetee does for Johanna. She's visceral she feels everything to an extreme, she's impulsive. He's grounded, logical. Maybe he brings her down, and she lets him see the sun every once in a while. They share a pain. They were mentors too. They watched Tributes from their districts die. They were responsible for them. That's something only they could understand.