Episode 16: All Dogs go to Heaven
Disclaimer: The following is a review of a film owned by Untied Artists and Don Bluth I own none of the rights to the characters or the film.
Airnaruto sat at his desk again this time with a scowl on his face and his teeth clenched in rage. "Hello I'm the Classic Critic; I remember it so you're not required to." He said as calmly as possible. "Well since a lot of people who've reviewed recently reviewed some of my most recent chapters are saying that I'm lacking in originality, and you know who you are. I'm doing a review of a film the Nostalgia critic has referenced before but never reviewed." He seethed before a scene from Scarface involving a huge gunfight breaks out. "Ah the classic gangster movies, there isn't anything better than mafia bosses and their men shooting other people to bits over family, money, and turf. Movies like Bonnie & Clyde, Scarface, The Goodfellas, and the Godfather trilogy are all examples of this classic but bloody genre." Airnaruto said as posters of the mentioned movies pass by in order.
"However there is one gangster film that seems extremely underrated and is constantly overlooked." Airnaruto said; "Why is that you ask?" Airnaruto asked for the audience. "There are two reasons for that; number one, it's an animated film directed by Don Bluth during the final months of his hay days, and two it involves dogs." He answered before showing the opening scene of the film.
"You guessed it; released November 17 1989 the film is…All Dogs go to Heaven." Airnaruto said before moving on to the plot.
"The film opens in 1939 New Orleans where our hero Charlie Barkins and his best friend Itchy Itchiford are escaping the from pound which eerily resembles Alcatraz." Airnaruto said as we see Charlie and Itchy pop out of a hole that Itchy had dug in order to bust Charlie out before the scene cuts back to him.
"Damn, I didn't think people were that strict about impounding their dogs back then." Airnaruto said almost shocked before going back to the escape.
"Charlie is voiced by famous comedian Burt Reynolds and Itchy is voiced by recently deceased comedian Dom Deluise." Airnaruto said before photos of each actor appeared on screen and then going back to our heroes escape attempt.
Itchy: I can't help it Charlie. I itch when I'm nervous.
Charlie: Well don't be nervous.
Itchy: Here just scratch this.
"In live action films like Cannonball Run, Burt and Dom also played the roles of friends and partners." Airnaruto said before thinking it over; "Nice casting." He said before moving on to a scene of a weird dog casino. "After escaping from the pound, they return to a dog casino co-owned by Charlie, there he explains his lucky life with perhaps the best song of the film you can't keep a good dog down it's fun, catchy and you'll never get tired of listening to it." Airnaruto said as we see the song being performed by Charlie with Itchy on the piano.
Itchy: Ya can't keep a good dog down (No you can't)
No no no no, you can't keep a good dog down
Charlie: I've been bought and sold
Itchy: He's been warm and cold
The scene then shifted to a back room of the casino where a dog by the name of Killer is talking to his boss and Charlie's business partner Carface Carruthers. "Charlie's business partner Carface voiced by the late Vic Tayback is the villain of the film, he has a lackey named Killer voiced by the late Charles Nelson Reilly; you know that guy who always sat in the far right seat in the top row of the panel on Match Game during the 70s." Airnaruto said showing a photo of Nelson Reilly.
Killer: I don't know anything about it Mr. Carface we set him up for good.
"As we find out Carface has had it with splitting the profits with Charlie and wants to run the casino by himself. So he throws Charlie a fake farewell party during Mardi Gras by getting him good and drunk." Airnaruto said as we see Charlie going overboard with the booze.
"Strange I never thought dogs could get drunk, let alone smoke, or even gamble. So what happens next?" Airnaruto asked as we see the scene of Charlie standing on a dock in a tipsy daze singing can't keep a good dog down.
Killer: Good night Charlie
Killer sends an old car down a hill and it hits Charlie who was still in a drunken stupor.
(CRASH!)
"WHAT THE HELL?" Airnaruto asked in a fit. "They killed off the hero within the first fifteen minutes of the film that's never happened ever." He ranted before remembering one film where that happened as wee see the scene of a knife stabbing a woman in the shower; "Well except for Psycho but this is a kid's film." He ranted. "Well I guess the movies over right?" Airnaruto asked for the audience.
"Nope, Charlie wakes up and finds himself in a dog version of heaven and is greeted by the angelic whippet Annabelle voiced by Melba Moore." Airnaruto said as we see Charlie try to plea his case to Annabelle.
Charlie: He killed me!
Annabelle: I beg your pardon?
"Annabelle explains to Charlie that everyone's life depends on a watch and his has apparently stopped." Airnaruto said briefly before we see Charlie ask an important question.
Charlie: Well can't you just wind it back up?
Annabelle: Oh no. No one's ever allowed to go back.
"Charlie however still snatches the watch and winds it back up anyway regardless of Annabelle's warning and is sent back to Earth." Airnaruto said as Charlie's spirit is brought back into his body as he hears Annabelle's voice fading away while warning him.
Annabelle: You can never go back.
"Back on Earth, Charlie reunites with Itchy and together they decide to sneak into the casino to figure out how Carface keeps winning the bets on the rat races. They get inside through air vents to find that Carface is holding a little orphan girl prisoner by the name of Ann Marie, voiced by the late Judith Barsi; you know the little girl from Jaws: The Revenge." Airnaruto mentioned as we see Ann Marie talking to a rat.
Ann Marie to the rat: Hello Mr. Long tail how are you today?
"Now it would seem that Ann Marie has DDLS (Dr. Doolittle Syndrome) meaning that she's able to talk to animals; Carface uses her gift to cheat on the rat races, seeing this as a huge cash cow to milk well so to speak, Charlie decides to kidnap…I mean rescue the little girl claiming that he and Itchy want to help her find a family and help the poor." Airnaruto said before we see what Charlie really had planned for the girl.
"Instead they use her gift to bet on horse races, frog jumping contests, kangaroo boxing, chicken fights, and turtle races until they make enough money for Charlie to build his own casino out of scrapped cars and naming it Charlie's place." Airnaruto said as we see a montage of said events.
"Later they arrive at an old church that's being used as a puppy orphanage run by one of Charlie's old girlfriends named Flo voiced by Loni Anderson who sings a duet with Charlie called What's mine is yours." Airnaruto said as we see the next scene.
"Anne Marie soon gets upset when she finds a wallet from a young couple that Charlie had pick pocketed, later that night she sings her own song called soon you'll come home before finally drifting off into a peaceful sleep. The song itself is very touching." Airnaruto said as we hear her sings a small sample of the song.
Anne Marie: Soon you'll come home. Home to my heart.
"Charlie on the other hand has a nightmare about Annabelle's warning and he winds up in you know where." Airnaruto said as we see the nightmare Charlie is having with him on a gondola in a lake of fire with a skeleton gondolier while flashing back and forth between Airnaruto and the nightmare as Airnaruto starts getting more and more frightened.
Satan: You can never go back!
"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG THIS MOVIE?" Airnaruto screamed before explaining; "I mean first they show Charlie getting killed and now they show us this nightmare. This is just horrifying!" He said before calming down; "Anyway the next morning Charlie wakes up to learn that Anne Marie had run off to visit the couple that Charlie had stolen the wallet from and she looks happier there than with Charlie but Charlie manages to convince her to come back with him. However, Carface has learned that Charlie's still alive and he chases Charlie and Anne Marie through a marketplace." Airnaruto said as we see Killer and Carface in a motorcycle with Killer shooting a Tommy gun and missing badly.
Carface: I'M SURROUNDED BY MORONS!
"Later Charlie and Anne Marie are captured by a primitive tribe of sewer rats and are about to be sacrificed to a flamboyant alligator king but…" Airnaruto said before Charlie cut him off with a loud howl while he's inside the gator's mouth.
Charlie: (HOWL)
The camera briefly switches back to Airnaruto with his ears covered and the cliché of the camera lens cracking. "DAMN!" Airnaruto said after uncovering his ears; "After Charlie nearly causes my eardrums to bleed. We get another song entitled Let's make music together sung by King Gator." Airnaruto said before the camera cut back to him waving his arms back and forth in defense to prove of what he said to be a sexual innuendo. "It's not what it sounds like folks; it's not what it sounds like." He said before cutting to the song.
King Gator: Let's make music together, lets make sweet harmony.
"Yes folks this is the original…" Airnaruto said before getting cut off by a familiar voice.
(Big-Lipped Alligator moment)
"I should also mention that King Gator is voiced by famous Blues and Broadway singer Ken Page who would later go on to do the speaking and singing voice of The Oogie Boogie man from Tim Burton's The Nightmare before Christmas." Airnaruto explained before showing Oogie Boogie during his song in The Nightmare before Christmas.
Oogie Boogie: Well you really are too much
"Later on Anne Marie gets sick to the point where she could die, after returning to the church to help her recover, Itchy comes back but is pretty banged up. He tells Charlie that Carface has destroyed the casino and has vowed to kill Charlie. After hearing Itchy say that he had gone soft, Charlie lies about not caring about Anne Marie." Airnaruto explained as we hear the lie Charlie tells Itchy.
Charlie to Itchy: It's just business. I'm using the girl!
"Unfortunately Anne Marie hears this and runs away only to be kidnapped by Carface and is being held hostage at Carface's casino. Charlie goes to rescue her but it's obviously a trap and Charlie gets himself bound and gagged to an anchor." Airnaruto said before a certain gator pops up; "Fortunately King Gator arrives to free Charlie and Anne Marie; during the fight gasoline spills on to a generator causing it to spit sparks and set the water on fire. Anne Marie falls into the water along with Charlie's watch but Charlie chooses to save Anne Marie first by placing her on a piece of wood so she can float to safety, but the same can not be said about his watch as it stops ticking." Airnaruto said as the watch stops ticking killing Charlie.
The scene then changes to later that night; "Later that night, Charlie's spirit from Hell visits Anne Marie's new home with wallet couple, but he's soon greeted by the soothing voice of Annabelle. Since Charlie sacrificed his life to save the little girl he's permitted back in to Heaven." Airnaruto said as the film ends.
"Now I liked this film, it was very good for it's time; but when it was first released it only saw moderate success in the box office since Bluth made the strategic mistake of releasing the film in the same week as Walt Disney's The Little Mermaid and was thus eclipsed by it in gross revenue." Airnaruto explained as the posters of both films were shown before we see a montage of Don Bluth movie posters from the 90s. "I can say however that this was better than most of the stuff Don Bluth released afterwards in the case of two exceptions that it is." Airnaruto said revealing the posters for Anastasia and Titan A.E. before going back to the All Dogs go to Heaven poster; "And over the years this film has gained a very strong cult following, in the mid 90s there would be a theatrical sequel, a television series, and a direct to video Christmas special." Airnaruto said showing the title poster, screen, and cover of each of the mentioned media spin offs before showing Judith Barsi's photo. "Sadly however this would be Judith Barsi's last film, four months before the film was released, her father murdered her and her mother while they were asleep she was only 10 years old." Airnaruto said somberly.
"In conclusion this film was Don Bluth's last hurrah of the 80s and he truly went out with a bang. I give this film 4 and a half stars out of 5." Airnaruto said as he wrapped up the review.
"Well folks that's it for now and I hope that some of you are happy that this IS original material and trust me while he's referenced it the Nostalgia Critic has never reviewed it; I'm the Classic Critic I remember it so you're not required to." He said as he got up and left his seat.
Final Critique:
Pros: Great songs, Nice voice cast, very emotional plot
Cons: Some parts are a bit scary for younger kids, along with some alcohol, tobacco, and death reference scenes and the release date mistake Bluth made.
Final rating: ****1/2 out of 5
Well folks there you have it so read and review until next time.