"Are you okay?" She asks me.
"Gale's hurting like the rest of us. I understand."
The fact is to an extent I'm okay. It hurts however, the dagger sharp words. The reminder that Katniss hasn't always been mine. I rise and shower We all have to swallow our pain today and perform for the cameras. All of us. A uniform not unlike the ones we wore to the training center is laid out for us. 12 stitched to the sleeves. Katniss wears her hair in her signature braid. She looks at me timidly.
"Ready to face the day?"
I pull her into me and breathe her in. Hand in hand we walk to the dining room for breakfast. Effie looks up at us and smiles. Haymitch obviously hungover.
"Big day! You've been entered into your prospective events. Archery is first this morning! Peeta will be last. Enobaria is competing in track events."
Gale sits at the end of the table. Hungover as well. He makes no acknowledgement to me or Katniss. Johanna plops down beside Beetee.
"You seem to be feeling alright." Effie says brightly.
"Yeah, surprisingly I'm not barfing my brains out." She grabs a piece of toast. Beetee and Johanna are also dressed in their prospective uniforms although they are not competing. The tension is palpable. Johanna and Beetee seem to be oblivious of the goings on of the night before. Effie won't look at Haymitch would looks at her with sadness in his eyes. Katniss pokes at her food. I pretend that I don't feel the heaviness and eat a hearty breakfast. Effie takes us down to the car. The fairgrounds are full of hustle and bustle when we arrive. There are men on stilts, sword swallower, and fire breathers entertaining the throngs of guests. Effie shuffles us through the crowd to the archery competition. A man greets us.
"Katniss Everdeen! So happy you could join us! We're all excited to see you shoot! Good luck!"
The man turns to me.
"Lucky man. It's exciting to see this display of skill rather than young people murdering one another yes?"
"Very much."
"I put this together. Excuse my manners." He holds the "S". "I'm Julius Goldenstern. I organized this event. The people need entertainment after the horror of the war. Why not a show of strength and solidarity. Not vengeance."
"I couldn't agree more." I tell him
He escorts me to a VIP seating area where I watch Katniss and the other competitors. Archery provides more diversity than most the events there is a competitor from Twelve, and Eleven. The rest are from Two. The competition is close with the athletes from Two learning to shoot from a small age. No one really touches Katniss's skill a bow. She's fluid, tranquil, she's not confused or angry when she's shooting but rather purposeful. Katniss wins the competition and I run up to her to hug her.
"Very nice."
She kisses my lips.
"It was fun."
"We have time to kill do you want to go check out the carnival?"
We walk along the grounds tasting delicacies from all the districts. We watch performers, and ride the rides. Soon Effie has tracked me down to take me to an outdoor arena for the strength competition. I am the only competitor not from Two in this competition. I don't really care however, as I'm here to have fun. Katniss sits in the front row with Effie and Johanna.
The competition consists of throwing metal balls of varying weight, the competitor who throws an average of each weight the farthest wins. One by one we move on to the platform where we are to throw. When I'm actually up here I feel a bit of competitiveness. I look down at the ball and grab the handle, with a spinning start I throw the ball to the end of the measuring field. With each weight the effort increases and I strive to place my throw on that same spot each time. It feels quite good. I feel accomplished although I prefer not to use my braun as a measure of myself as a whole. I'm shocked when I win the competition. Katniss runs to me and throws her arms around me. My arms are like jelly and I clumsily embrace her. The sun is beginning to set when the competition is over.
"Let's go back to the apartment. I want some alone time."
I shake my head and we find a waiting taxi to takes us back to the apartment.
All is quiet when we arrive. There are no attendants no other occupants. Just me and Katniss. I take it all in. The time we spend alone is never enough and I try to engage my full consciousness in every moment of it. Katniss stands ten feet in front of me and disrobes. I feel a stirring within myself. She looks hungry. She sits me down on an armchair and straddles me.
"I need you Peeta."
I wrap my hands around her waist gripping her firmly.
"I need you too."
I take her by the nape of the neck and kiss her, her hand stroking my growing cock as I do. I move my hands about her body, feeling the supple softness. I kiss her neck, her chest tasting the sweetness that is her. She removes my shirt and strokes my chest with one hand. I take one hand and find her opening slipping two fingers inside. I begin to stroke her in sync with the rhythm she is stroking me. Audibly she sighs.
"I want to be in you." I whisper in her ear.
She removes me from my pants and lowers herself onto my swollen member throbbing. She undulates on top of me, I feel her warm wetness around me, and lose myself to the back of my mind. The carnal instincts take over and I grab her buttocks and stand picking her up and slamming her against a wall. She gasps. I fuck her there, as she pants and moans, I feel myself building. I feel her walls begin to close on me. I take her again and find the bed.
"No, No, Peeta." She writhes
"Not yet. You're not going to come until I do."
She submits, putting her legs on my shoulders I thrust deeply inside her. The pleasure unbearable. I feel her closing around me again and allow it, as I feel all my muscles tensing I throw my head back and come as she screams my name.
I take a moment and look down at her. A faint smile on her face, her skin dewy with sweat. I kiss her forehead and lay beside her. As I do the phone rings.
"For fucks sake." Katniss rises and answers the phone.
"We went home."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Well tell him we'd love that. Yes. See you soon."
She hangs up the receiver.
"Julius Goldstern wants us to dinner the day after tomorrow. Effie is pissed that we left."
"Okay." I tell her. and she lays back down beside me in my arms as we drift to sleep.
"Peeta! Peeta!" It's my mother. A rolling pin cocked in her hand. "You little shit look at the mess you made!" She then takes the rolling pin and hits me across my head with it. "Look!" I look down and I see Katniss, naked her throat slit her blood seeping through my shoes, soaking my socks, my toes.
"Clean it up!" Mother yells.
I kneel to clean the blood when Katniss's hand grabs me.
"Help me."
Startled I look into her gray eyes. Her hungry gray eyes.
"Tell me what to do."
"Please" She implores.
I grab her by her shoulders completely submerged in her blood.
"Stay with me." She screams.
Someone is pulling at my shoulders. Snow is pulling at my shoulders, ripping her from me. I fight him, but he's pulling me farther and farther away. Her voice screaming for me.
I wake screaming, knuckles bleeding. Katniss on the floor.
"Peeta! Not real."
I look around me attempting to catch my breath. There is a hole in the wall, Katniss sitting on the floor a handprint on her shoulder.
"Did I hurt you?" I ask her.
"You didn't know what you were doing."
"I hurt you." I say with anger in my voice. In fact I am losing myself to the anger. Ready to succumb to it, the black rage that wells up inside me. I punch the wall again even harder this time, my knuckles cracking.
"Fuck! Why didn't you people just let me die. Look at what I did!"
My mother stands in the corner.
"Clean the goddamn mess up!" She yells at me.
I'm not sure if I'm awake. Katniss grabs my shoulders. She's shaking me. She slaps me across my face.
"Not real." She says flatly. "I'm real." She then wraps my arms around her. The blackness begins to subside and my mother departs the room. I feel her in my arms clearly. Soft and supple. I kiss her shoulder and I can taste her. Sweet. I then bury my head into her neck and weep. Apologizing profusely.
"It's okay. Not real."
I hear footsteps in the doorway.
"I told you. He'll hurt you." It's Gales voice.
I turn to face it. The rage welling up again. But at myself. He stares at me contented. I'm not even sure he's really there not until Katniss tells him.
"Fuck off Gale. This isn't about you."
"No, but would I have done that to you?" He motions to the mark on her arm.
"You've done worse." She says to him flatly. "You killed Prim."