I wake later in the morning. My hand throbbing. Luckily the morphling had lulled me into a pleasant slumber. Filled with Katniss. I get up and go to the living room. The entirety of our group is there.

"Morning sunshine!" Calls Johanna.

"Morning."

"How you feeling?" Haymitch asks.

"Awful." I tell him.

Katniss stands and hugs me. It's the middle of summer yet she wears a sweatshirt. Suspicious. She's hiding something from me. Maybe she's hiding the bruise I left on her arm the other night. I kiss the top of her head and stroke her back. She goes to the fridge and retrieves breakfast she saved for me. My appetite has been greatly diminished from all the drugs but I attempt to eat is as she made such an effort.

"Will you be attending dinner tonight? It's only going to be an intimate affair." Effie asks

"Yes." I reply.

"How was last night?" I ask the others.

"Pretty good. Claudius Templesmith was there. Katniss made a scene. The food was amazing. Paylor gave a corny speech the usual." Enobaria tells me.

"Claudius Templesmith was there?" I question "Shouldn't he be interned?"

"Apparently he was complicit to the rebellion." Johanna says.

Anger boils. Claudius Templesmith, as much of a sadist as any of them. He was an instrumental part of the games. We let Caesar Flickerman slide and keep his job. But Claudius is different. I turn my gaze to Katniss who sits silently staring into a corner. She hasn't spoken a word. As the others go about chatting I watch her as she slips away and down the hall.

"Peeta, I'm taking you to the doctor to get your hand recasted." Beetee tells me.

I haven't anytime to follow Katniss, I'm afraid of what effect the interaction with Claudius has had on her. Beetee and I walk down into a waiting car.

"What happened last night?" I ask him.

"Katniss refused to shake Claudius's hand and became agitated by the fact he hadn't been punished for his part in the Hunger Games. She walked out after receiving her medal. Johanna tried to follow her but wasn't able to keep up."

"Oh. She didn't hurt herself did she?" I ask him.

"Not that I know of."

We arrive at the hospital where the staff once again eagerly greets me and ushers me back to an exam room. The doctor comes and recasts my hand.

"Six weeks of this. Then you'll have to have physical therapy." He tells me.

"Can this be done in Twelve?"

"There are travelling nurses who can come for the physical therapy but you'll have to come back here to get your cast off."

"I don't think that's a good idea. Send a doctor to Twelve."

"That's not within my authority."

"I'm not interrupting my life to come back here and be retraumatized or ask Katniss to come with me." I realize how much anger is in my voice when I say this. The effect of Claudius is upon me as well. The effect on his appearance on Katniss and the fear for her wellbeing is building. Coming to the Capitol never goes well. Monuments of our trauma exist everywhere. Down the street from the hospital is where I lost Katniss during the battle. Where Katniss lost Prim. The air there is heavy, no good ever came upon me here. Katniss and I came here to die twice. The effect of this upon us is profound in ways that pass understanding.

"Then you'll have to handle that with the hospital." He replies stunned by my persistence if not obstenence.

"Fine." I tell him. "Can I leave?"

He nods. I head out the door to a waiting Beetee. We can't return fast enough to the apartment. It seems like an hour before I'm at the door. The others are sitting in the living room watching television. Katniss is not with them. I walk back to our bedroom. She's not in bed. I open the bathroom. Empty as well. Except for shards of glass in the trash can.

"Katniss?"

No reply.

I turn my attention to the closet. I grab hold the door knob. The door is locked.

"Shit." I pound on the door. "Katniss open the goddamn door or I'll break it down."

"Peeta. Give me space."

"You've had space." I tell her. She can't do this. She doesn't know how she hurts me when she does this. "Katniss, this is ridiculous. Open up."

Nothing.

I lower my shoulder and ram it into the door bursting it open. Katniss sits underneath a rack of clothes. Knees hugged tightly to her chest. Tears streaming down her face.

"I'm sorry." she tells me.

"Sorry?"

"I let you down. I let myself down." Tears fill her eyes. "Peeta I don't want to be here!" She cries.

I pull her into me, she rests her head on my shoulder as she did that day in the garden.

"Peeta. I hurt myself and I don't remember doing it. One moment I was at the dinner, then I was in bed with you. I tried to hide it. I didn't want to go to the hospital."

I understand. Claudius, this place it does a number on us. I grab her shoulders.

"Katniss we can't come back here."

She nods.

"I don't know what I would've done had I seen Claudius. I'm happy it's not worse."

I grab her and kiss her. Madly wildly. We furiously rip at the others clothing. We direct our frustrations to consummation. I fondle her breasts and suck her nipples as though I'm dying. Biting at them. Both of us groaning. She's clawing my back. I grab her throat and pull her in again to kiss me. She straddle me and guides me inside her. In that closet we fuck. There's nothing tender about it. We devour one another. She grinds on top of me, and a cry escapes my lips.

"Fuck."

She works herself harder. Panting. I wrap my good arm around her and suck her nipples once again. More turned on than I've ever been. I take her off me. Turning her on her knees pushing her against the wall of the closet. I penetrate her from behind. Biting the back of her neck as I fuck her. With my fingers I stroke her clit furiously. Milking her.

"Say my name."

"Peeta." She whispers.

I fuck her harder. I feel her tensing her back arching. I'm no longer human but beast. I sink my teeth once again on the back of her shoulder. The wetness grows, her back arches.

"Scream, do it. let it out."

She complies. Desperately clawing the wall as she comes.

"Good I tell her."

"Come inside me." She whispers.

I withdraw from her. Turn her around to face me standing still against the wall. I pick her up with both arms, pain streaming up my arm. I ignore it. My desires must be fulfilled. I fuck her against the wall until I come. Letting out a loud moan. Guttural like an animal. I set her feet once again on the wall, and rest my head against it. Both of us desperate to catch my breath. Guilt wells up inside me. I don't want to treat her like that. She's not a vessel for me to play out my perversion upon. She's part of me.

"I'm sorry." I tell her.

"Why?"

"I don't want to be too rough with you. I don't want to make you feel dirty."

"Did you need it?" She asks.

"Badly. What about you?"

"Worse than you know. I feel alive again. I'm back in the real world now."

We laugh. I hold her close to me and kiss her neck.

"I love you." I tell her.

There's a knocking on the door.

"Katniss. We need to get ready for the dinner." It's Effie.

We laugh hysterically.

"Entertainment before dinner."

We gather ourselves and shower. Dress and meet the others in the living room. Who stare at us. Johanna and Haymitch with shit eating grins.

"Well done my man." Haymitch says. To Effie's disgust.