A/N: OMG! I updated! Can you believe it? FC, thank you for everything!
I have a big announcement to make….sadly, this is the last chapter of Sick Sad Little World. It was a fun adventure for me. It was the first Twilight story for me and I loved every second of it! Thank you to all my readers. You guys are amazing! My other main story, All Bets Are Off, is almost completed as well. There are 3-4 chapters of that one left. But put me on author alert and watch out for some new stuff! I've got a few things in the works!
BPOV
It's been four years since we came back to Forks. And not much has changed. Okay, well that's not entirely true. Edward and I do still live with Charlie, but in a much bigger house that Edward bought. Charlie actually lives in the pool house out back. And loves it. It's nice to be close to him still.
I can now be away from Edward and not have panic attacks. It's still difficult to be away from him for more than maybe four hours at a time. But it's possible. Alice and Jasper got married a few weeks after I got out of the hospital. At first I didn't want to be a part of the wedding party. But after everything they did for me when I got home, I couldn't deny Alice that one request. Standing up at the altar behind Rosalie was difficult; everyone's eyes on me, whispering back and forth about what happened to me. Right before the preacher began the vows, Alice whispered to him to stop for a second. What she did next I will never forget….
The ceremony has been going on for about twenty minutes. They had already lit the unity candle and were about to begin the vows. The guests in the chapel had been non-stop whispering and pointing at Edward and me. They were even getting Alice and Jasper's attention. When Alice quietly asked the preacher to stop the ceremony for a second, I got a little worried. She let go of Jasper's hands and, throwing me an apologetic smile, turned toward the guests.
"Excuse me! Can I have everyone's attention please?" she shouted over the whispers. Everyone was silent as she stood there with her hands on her hips.
"Alice! What are you doing?" Edward hissed, glancing at me.
"Shut it Eddie! I'm ending this!" she growled at him. He stepped back, hands up in surrender, shrugging at me. I cracked a small smile.
"Okay, look, everyone knows Edward and Bella disappeared six years ago. And everyone knows they came back a few weeks ago and had this huge showdown with Bella's ex, James. But James is in jail now and Edward and Bella are fine, as you can see!" she yelled, gesturing to both of us. I have never been more humiliated and grateful at the same time.
"So, now that we all know that James didn't kill them, can we get back to MY wedding? This day is supposed to be about me, not them, no offense guys! But this is my day! So stop the whispers and the pointing, and focus on me!"
"Bella!" Alice shouted, breaking me from my memory. I looked up from my spot on the couch to see her and Jasper walking in my front door.
"You alright Bells?" Jasper asked, always aware of my moods. I smiled and stood up slowly, making my way towards them.
"Yeah, I'm great! Just got caught up in my thoughts! What are you guys doing here?"
"Did you forget Bella? Edward invited us all over today for some barbecue. Remember?" Alice said, dropping a bag of food on our kitchen table.
"That's right. Sorry, I've been a little distracted lately," I mumbled, following them into the kitchen. I could see Edward out the back window preparing the grill. He looked up when Jasper opened the back door to join him, throwing me my favorite smile, the one reserved for only me. It was a little crooked, the left side of his mouth a little higher than the right. That smile could distract me from anything, and always made me think of the first time I saw it; the night of Alice's wedding.
Edward and I had been sitting at a table in the very back of the ballroom, away from everyone. Charlie, Esme, and Carlisle were with us, but they all left about an hour ago. The night was winding down. Many of the guests had already gone.
"Dance with me?" Edward asked. The reception began almost two hours ago. I had been sitting in the same spot since it began, next to Charlie in the very back of the room to escape the stares. Edward sat with me for a while until I convinced him that I would be okay with Charlie so he could go celebrate with his friends.
"Edward, you know I don't dance," I said, not meeting his eyes.
"Yeah but this is a wedding Iz! You can make an exception!" he smiled, grabbing my hand and pulling me up.
"Edward no! There's so many people!" I whined, looking at the crowded dance floor. Edward stopped and looked around before leading me outside the back door that was behind the table we were at.
"Where are we going?"
"There's no one out here! You don't have another excuse!" he chuckled, wrapping his arms around my waist and bringing me close. I slowly wrapped my arms around his neck, laying my head on his shoulder. We swayed in silence for a few moments.
"Hey Edward, remember what you said in the hospital?"I asked quietly, not risking looking at him.
"I dunno Izzy, there was a lot of stuff said at the hospital. You wanna refresh my memory?" he said lightly, knowing I knew he understood what I meant.
I raised my head from his shoulder and looked into his eyes, whispering, "I love you too Edward."
He smiled that crooked smile, whispering, "I already knew that. Bout time you realized it!"
We've been together since that night. Best four years of my life.
"Bella!" Alice shouted again, breaking me from my thoughts. I looked over at her standing in my kitchen, her big pregnant belly making her small body look oddly beautiful.
"Yeah?" I asked quietly.
"What is going on with you today?" she asked, taking a seat at the kitchen table. I sat down next to her.
"Nothing, I swear! I've just been distracted by today, that's all," I replied. When I said it's been four years since we came back, I meant that literally. It was four years ago today that we made it back. And every year we have a barbecue at our house with the people closest to us, rain or shine.
No really, our second year back, it was raining on this day, but Edward insisted we still have the barbecue. Everyone say inside and mingled and ate except for Edward and I. We sat out on our back patio, getting soaked in the lounge chairs, watching the rain hit the pool water, grateful to still be here. Eventually, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett joined us, turning it into one big rain party.
"Knock Knock!" we heard Rosalie shout from the front door.
"Kitchen!" Alice and I shouted, giggling. Rosalie entered the kitchen, looking as glamorous as always in a red flowy tank top and maternity jeans. She is only a week further along than Alice, both due next month. Rosalie, though, is on her third child, Alice on her second.
"Where's Em and the kids?" Alice asked, Rosalie sitting down with us. She pointed out the window. There was Emmett, chasing his three year old son, Gage, and his two year old daughter, Violet. We laughed at the sight, especially when Alice and Jasper's three year old son, Gavin, teamed up with the two kids to tackle Emmett to the ground, piling on top of him.
"How's Trey doing in there?" I asked Rose, using the nickname we came up with for their third baby. She just rolled her eyes at me.
"I am so ready for this kid to be out! And as soon as he/she is, I'm getting my tubes tied!" she exclaimed.
"Oh, Rosie, baby, don't say that!" Emmett whined, walking in the house just in time to hear her say that.
"Emmett, she's been saying that since Gage was born!" Charlie laughed, walking in behind him. One thing I love about keeping Charlie close to us, is that he is also close with our friends. We all live in the same neighborhood, Esme and Carlisle living next door! And speaking of Esme and Carlisle…
"Hello my beautiful children! Where are those crazy grandbabies of mine?" Esme asked, hugging Charlie and Emmett. Esme, Carlisle, and Charlie have taken to viewing all of us as their own kids, treating the young kids as their own grandchildren.
"NANA!" four high pitched voices squealed, trampling over each other in a rush to get to Esme.
"My babies!" she gushed, grabbing all four of them and smothering them with hugs and kisses. After a few minutes of greeting everyone, I politely excused myself and made my way to the backyard where Edward was manning the grill. Which really meant he was sitting in a lawn chair nursing a beer while the food cooked.
"Hey baby," I said quietly, rubbing his shoulders from behind. He reached one hand up to hold my hand.
"Four years Bells," he mumbled. I nodded, glancing over my shoulder. I could see Alice and Emmett getting everyone to move into the living room. Every year since we started these barbecues, they always gave Edward and me a moment of privacy to reflect back on the years.
"Come here," he whispered, tugging on my hand. I walked around him and sat down in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Seems like another lifetime, doesn't it?" I asked. He nodded, lost in his thoughts.
"But hey, we made this day a happier one three years ago!" I smiled, holding my left hand up in front of his face. My engagement ring and wedding band glittered in the sunlight.
"Yes, we did!" he laughed.
"Remember how drunk Emmett and Jasper got at the reception?" I asked, laughing as he remembered the speech Emmett and Jasper tried to give. It sounded more like toddler gibberish to everyone.
"Hey, I love you, you know that?"
"Of course I know that Edward. I love you too."
"Come on, let's go inside. I wanna tell everyone!" he said, gently easing me off his lap. He hooked his arm around my shoulders and guided me inside the house and into the living room.
"Mommy! Daddy!" a voice shouted as we walked into the living room, our two year old wrapping his arms around my legs. Jackson Edward Cullen was born almost two years ago. Edward and I hadn't even been trying when we got pregnant. We had just gotten married a month before we found out I was eight weeks pregnant. He is the light of our lives.
"Hey buddy, can you go change into that shirt we bought you yesterday? We want to show it to everyone!" Edward said as Jackson took off for his room. A minute later he ran back in the room in a light blue t-shirt.
"Look! Mama said it says Big Brother! She said I'm gonna be a big brother because there's a baby in her tummy!" he shouted.
Esme shrieked, Alice gasped, Rosalie clapped, and Emmett and Jasper jumped up to high five Edward. Charlie stood from his spot on the couch and crossed the living room to hug Edward and I. He hugged Edward first, whispering a few words in his ear that I couldn't hear. Then, he hugged me, and made me cry.
"Bells, I'm so happy for you! I just want you to know that I truly am sorry for certain things in the past," he said. We've never mentioned what happened to me and Edward in front of the kids.
"I thought when you and Edward came home that I had never been happier. And then when you two got married, I thought then I couldn't be happier for you. Then Jackson came along, and it was like you gave me another reason to live. But now, knowing you're gonna give me another grandbaby, there's no way I can explain it. I love you Bells!"
"Are you crying Bella?" Jasper asked with a joking smile.
"It's the hormones, I swear!" I chuckled, wiping tears from my cheeks.
"I wanna make a toast!"Edward said, even though he and Emmett were the only ones that had drinks in their hands.
"First of all, I'd like to thank everyone for being here. You all know how much it means to me and Bella to be able to share this day with the ones we love most. Ten years ago we left you guys here. And four years ago, we came back. And you welcomed us back with open arms. And stuck with us throughout these last four years. And for that, we're so grateful!"
"Cheers!" Emmett shouted, raising his beer in the air, making us all laugh at him.
"But seriously, we love you guys!" I said above all the noise in the room. I looked around at everyone and took it all in.
Charlie was wrestling with Jackson, Gage, and Gavin on the living room floor. Carlisle and Esme were playing with Violet on the couch. Alice and Rosalie were on the loveseat complaining about their big bellies. Emmett and Jasper stood by the couch, watching their boys wrestle with Charlie. And Edward stood behind me, his arms around my waist, his chin resting on my shoulder, a smile on his face.
And in that moment, I knew this was where I always belonged, even when I couldn't see it. Where I would always belong; forever.