Sorry about the wait!
Once again thanks for your reviews and PMs :) I'm glad you guys are still here reading this crazy tale.
~~~ Sad Pandas ~~~
Grace and Sofia stood in the kitchen for a while just holding onto each other as Sofia calmed down. Grace wasn't that surprised that her wife wasn't dealing with her feelings because it was starting to become obvious however she was surprised at what those feelings exactly were. She knew Sofia was unhappy, and a little jealous about not being able to have kids. She just didn't know that Sofia was so angry about it though. That she actually resented Grace for being able to carry their children. It was something that Grace didn't even really consider when she agreed to get pregnant. She knew Sofia would probably feel a little jealous but she didn't think it would be like this.
Sofia reluctantly pulled out of her wife's embrace but couldn't look at her in the eye. She felt ashamed of herself for what she was feeling and hated putting Grace in this situation. Grace's heart broke all over again at the sight of her wife looking so miserable and afraid to even look at her.
"Sofia" Grace quietly spoke first.
The brunette just looked down and didn't say anything.
"Look at me...please?" Grace spoke again.
Sofia just shook her head and continued to look down.
"Why not?" Grace asked sadly
"Because...I'm mad at myself." Sofia finally spoke.
"And that means you can't look at me?" Grace asked a little confused
"I don't deserve to look at you when I feel like this." Sofia told her
And if her heart wasn't already ripped apart it was completely shattered now. Grace hated it when Sofia was hurting or whenever she felt like she doesn't deserve something. She hated that Sofia was so insecure sometimes.
"Sofia, please look at me." Grace asked again.
After a long beat Sofia finally gave in and hesitantly looked up at her wife. The Latina's eyes were puffy and red from crying and her cheeks were covered in old and new salty tears. Grace gently wiped them away using the sleeve of her top. Sofia just stood there and let her.
"There...you're all pretty again" Grace gave her a small smile.
Another long silence fell upon the pair as neither really knew what to say or do as of this moment. That was until Sofia spoke up.
"Do you hate me?" She nervously asked
"Of course not!" Grace all but yelled
"But..."
"Sofia. Stop ok. Just...just stop. I could never hate you. You're my wife and my best friend there is nothing you could say or do that would make me love you any less." Grace added
"Gracie I need...something. I just...I want to stop feeling like this. Like I'm some sort of…failure of a woman because I can't have kids and then I feel like I'm a terrible wife because you're doing this huge thing for us. Something that you didn't even want to do in the first place but you did it anyway and I actually feel as though I'm starting to hate you for it. I don't want to be feeling this now or after they're born. I don't want to feel this at all. I need...I need help" Sofia struggled to speak.
It was quite the feat asking for help. Grace couldn't help but swallow back her surprise and her emotions as her wife fell apart in front of her. She had to put her feelings aside though so she could be there for Sofia.
"I know sweetie and I'll help you, in any way that I can." Grace quickly replied taking a step closer to her wife.
"I don't think you can" Sofia sadly mumbled.
"Maybe not" Grace conceded
"I'm sorry" Sofia quietly added
"Don't be." Grace replied.
She moved a tiny bit closer to Sofia taking both of her hands into her own holding them between them up close to their chests. Sofia sighed at the contact and leaned forward to rest her forehead against Grace's taking the comfort her wife had to offer.
"I think you should maybe talk to Beth about some of this" Grace spoke softly
"Why?" Sofia asked in confusion.
"She knows a little about what you might be going through" Grace replied
"I don't understand" Sofia gently shook her head.
"After she had Dave she had to have a hysterectomy. She can't have any more kids" Grace told her.
Sofia pulled back looking a little shocked at that. She had no idea.
"Beth hasn't told anyone. Well besides me." Grace told her as if she could read Sofia's mind.
Sofia just nodded as she took in that little bit of information.
"We'll get through this Sofia." Grace quietly reassured her wife.
Sofia didn't look all that sure but she could only hope Grace was right.
~~~ Waking Up ~~~
Charlie woke up that morning to find herself lying naked on the bathroom floor of Toby's old place. She wasn't sure how that happened but she was sure of one thing. She was freezing her ass off and that her back was killing her.
"Ben?" Charlie called out.
Her voice was a little croaky and heavy with sleep. She rubbed at her eyes trying to wake herself up a bit more. There was a small groan from somewhere near the bathtub. Charlie slowly turned to find Ben slumped over the tub stark naked. She couldn't help but giggle at the situation that they had found themselves to be in. Last night was pretty amazing.
"Ben?" Charlie called out again.
"My head feels like it's dead" Ben groaned.
Charlie carefully got up and grabbed one of the spare towels that were hanging over the rack to wrap around herself. She moved over to Ben and helped him sit up properly. After doing that they both sat side by side feeling a little worse for wear. Stupid punch.
"Why am I naked?" Ben then asked, his cheeks burning and turning bright pink as he quickly covered himself.
Charlie just chuckled at him. It's not like she hasn't seen him naked before.
"Do you remember last night?" Charlie asked
Ben took a moment to think back to the previous night. He remembers going to Toby's graduation. Then there was the party and his Ma giving him these weird drinks that was supposed to be punch. It gets a little fuzzy and then somehow he and Charlie are in Toby's old living room doing things Ben saw in one of Toby's pornos. Ben's eyes went wide in horror as he pieced together the night.
"I...I'm...Charlie I'm so sorry. I never...I didn't hurt you right?" He asked with worry and fear.
"Of course not. Ben...last night was...it was amazing" Charlie smiled reassuringly and then blushed as her mind went back to some of the things they did together.
"Really?" Ben asked self-consciously
Charlie just nodded with a smile and kissed his cheek.
"Come on, we should probably get dressed before someone finds us" She added as she got up and held her hand out for Ben to take.
Ben awkwardly took her hand and stood up all the while still trying to cover himself up. Charlie just giggled to herself at his embarrassment.
"You know Ben I have seen you naked." She reminded him
Ben just blushed as they made their way into the living room to search for their clothes.
Meanwhile Judy and Maria were helpfully tiding up outside while their lazy children slept away or stuffed their faces with food. The two older women grumbled and complained about their messy daughters but all in all they still loved them. It was nice having everyone there at the same time. With Judy and Marcus living in Florida now-a-days and Michael still living in Lima they very rarely got to see each other. The three sets of grandparents all kept in touch with one another though just as much as they did with their children and their grandchildren.
"Ugh...Santi still does not know the meaning of putting food scraps into the bin" Maria grumbled as she grabbed several plates and shoved them into the trash.
She knew they belonged to her daughter because every paper plate had tomato on it. Santana wasn't a huge fan of the fruit.
"Quinnie is the same. She's such a slob sometimes." Judy added with a sigh as she collected the many plastic cups strewn all over the place.
"Sofia's just as bad as her Mami. Did you see that girl's room when she was a teenager?" Maria asked
"Don't get me started on Ducky's bad habits. Thank god Gracie took after her Ma. Rachel has always been the cleaner one. Charlie's pretty good too. Toby on the other hand...it must be a Fabray thing. Lord knows Russell never knew what to do with a mop or a vacuum." Judy grumbled.
The outside area was starting to look respectable again thanks to Maria and Judy. There were several bags of rubbish though and surprisingly enough there were still several bottles of alcohol left in the cooler.
"Where does Quinn and Rachel want these?" Maria asked pointing to the wine and beer.
"Oh um I think she said something about the outside fridge" Judy replied.
The two women looked around but couldn't find no fridge.
"Maybe they moved it back into Toby's old place" Maria suggested.
Judy just nodded. So they grabbed the bottles and headed on over to the shed/apartment and walked right in.
"Abuela!" Ben yelled in horror
"Grandma!" Charlie squealed as she sat up.
The pair of them quickly scrambled around to cover themselves while the two older ladies tried not to die of shock and horror. After what seemed like forever their two grandchildren were finally covered and both wore matching blushes that could be seen from outta space. No one spoke for a really long uncomfortable time.
"Well...that was more than I ever really needed to see of my grandchildren so if you'll all excuse me I need to go bleach my eyes and I'm taking this with me" Judy finally spoke up as she grabbed the very last bottle of vodka and headed out of the room taking a big swig of the alcohol as she went.
"There is not enough vodka in the world to unsee what I just saw" Maria quietly muttered to herself still a little shocked.
Fortunately for Maria she hadn't been subjected to the horror that poor Judy has over the years. Ok yes she has walked in in Rachel and Quinn at some point but that doesn't count because that's happened to everybody. Then there were those undeniable sounds that came from her daughter and her daughter-in-law's bedroom when Maria stayed over some times. But this was...this was...horrifying.
"I'm really sorry Abuela" Ben mumbled unable to look at the woman out of extreme embarrassment.
Charlie just nodded in agreement still unable to really look at the older woman.
"Ok well I'm going to leave now because this is all so very, very wrong and uncomfortable." Maria stated before she made a quick exit.
Ben and Charlie both just sat there totally mortified and wishing they had remembered to lock the door.
~~~ Grey Power ~~~
Michael made his way downstairs to grab himself a coffee before he began packing. Rachel was taking him to the airport that afternoon. He bumped into Marcus in the kitchen who was just finishing off his toast.
"Mornin' Michael" Marcus smiled
"Moring, where is everybody?" He asked as he made his coffee
"Not sure…I think Rach came down to make breakfast for everyone and then they all just left. Though I did hear some odd sounds coming from the basement." Marcus replied with a mouthful of toast.
"That's probably just Becky and Hannah…I'd wait for them to come up instead of going down there" Michael chuckled…he had already made that mistake a few years back.
Marcus just nodded. The two old boys continued to chat while they had their breakfast and looked over the morning paper when they finally noticed Judy and Maria outside sitting by the pool drinking out of what looked like a vodka bottle. Thinking it was slightly strange especially this early in the day they went out to go see what was wrong.
"Ladies" Michael smiled at the two as he sat down next to Maria
"Isn't it a little early for that?" Marcus then asked with a slight chuckle taking a seat next to his wife.
"Oh Mickey you are so lucky you didn't see what we saw" Maria slurred as she leaned into Michael's side.
"You mean all of our daughters sleeping together in the one bed with very little clothing on? Because I already saw that last night." Michael asked
Judy and Maria just looked a little shocked at that revelation. Marcus just nodded, having seen that too.
"Ugh god I told Quinn! No. More. Orgies! It can't be good for her heart" Judy groaned as she rubbed her temples in frustration.
"I'm sorry what?" Maria asked in shock.
"Our daughters aren't all that innocent. Oh god I don't even know when it started! And I let them all live under my own roof? I enabled them! I'm a foursome enabler!" Judy stated in horror her words slurring slightly then she downed another shot of vodka.
"Ok can we please talk about something else these images are disturbing me and it's too early for that" Michael cringed.
"Oh that is nothing to what happened earlier!" Maria scoffed
"What happened?" Marcus asked as he tipped some vodka into his morning coffee and then some into Michael's.
"Let's just say seeing your youngest granddaughter doing what she was doing to your youngest grandson would make the baby angels cry" Judy replied
Michael and Marcus just looked at each other in confusion at the drunken woman's ramblings.
"It was worse than walking in on Quinn and Rachel doing it on the kitchen table" Maria muttered to herself before taking another long drink.
~~~ The Bigger Gay ~~~
Santana and Brittany finally woke up that morning when they could hear Quinn getting ready she wasn't the quietest of people. She was currently standing by her wardrobe in only her jeans and bra looking for a top to wear that day. Her hair was still a little damp from her shower and Rachel was hogging the bathroom and using the hair dryer at that point.
"Ew half-naked Fabray" Santana teased as she stretched her muscles after waking up.
Without even looking at her Quinn just flung her arm back and flipped Santana off.
"I like half naked Fabray...though I love full naked Fabray too" Brittany yawned with a small smirk.
Santana just cringed at her wife.
"Thank you Brittany." Quinn turned around with a smile before pulling an old Xena T-Shirt on.
"God Q could you be any more gay if you tried?" Santana rolled her eyes at the blonde.
"What? You're the one who got me onto that show and I know for a fact that you still have your Gabrielle T-Shirt" Quinn replied with a hint of smugness.
"Shut up" Santana huffed and crossed her arms over her chest with a full on pout.
"I remember one time San made me dress up as Gabby...that was a fun weekend" Brittany idly spoke.
"Ha! See your more queer than me" Quinn cheered
"Oh please, you're the one who has a library full of naked lady magazines." Santana scoffed
"It's purely for investment value…They're vintage!" Quinn defended herself.
Brittany got up out of bed gently kissing Santana on the cheek as the two women argued. She made her way over to Quinn and kissed her cheek too before she slipped into the bathroom. Rachel was standing by the mirror applying her makeup when Brittany came over and slid her arms around the brunette's waist resting her chin on Rachel's shoulder.
"Morning" Brittany smiled
"Good morning Britt...I'm guessing our wives are awake" Rachel replied with her own smile.
"Yep...and now they're arguing about who is the gayest of them all." Brittany sighed.
"Well that's easy...I'm looking at her" Rachel giggled
Brittany just nodded proudly.
"We should send them downstairs to help clean up. I don't like making our parents do it all the time." Rachel suggested.
"I agree and then you and I can get our sweet lady kisses on" Brittany joked and smiled brightly
Rachel just laughed at her friend as they left the bathroom and found their wives shoving each other or practically engaging in a wrestling match as they continued to argue.
"This would be so much better if they were oiled up" Brittany sighed with a dreamy look.
~~~ Close Your Eyes ~~~
It was late afternoon before the last of the guests went home and it was finally quiet at the Berry-Fabray house. Charlie was at the theatre and Rachel was dropping her father off at the airport after failing once again to convince him to stay in New York. Quinn had the house to herself and so she made use of this alone time. It was getting towards dinner time when Rachel finally got back home. She walked into her living room to find an all too familiar scene. Sitting on the couch was her beautiful wife watching Buffy and crying her eyes out. Rachel didn't get it. Quinn had seen this show so many times and yet every single time she always cries at certain episodes. Rachel just rolled her eyes as she sat down next to her wife and watched the last few minutes of the episode with Quinn.
"I don't think I could do that" Quinn mumbled not taking her eyes off the screen.
"Do what?" Rachel asks a little confused.
"What Buffy did...if that were us I couldn't do it. If I were Buffy and you were Angel I would damn the world just to be with you for those last few minutes instead of killing you to save everyone." Quinn replied as she watched Buffy cry after killing her beloved and hearing that ever so romantic yet tragic theme music...it gets her every time.
Sure Rachel was a little confused as to why her wife was having an emotional moment in relation to putting herself in Buffy's shoes but the thought was sweet.
"You would sacrifice the world for me?" Rachel asked
Quinn nodded
"If I was ever given the decision. You or the world...I'd pick you...I wouldn't regret it either." Quinn honestly replied
"Quinn" Rachel smiled sweetly and feeling a little overwhelmed
Her wife would give up the world for her...well if that doesn't melt your heart than you are as cold as the White Witch's ass.
Quinn looked over at her wife with a small smile.
"And I'd totally go all scary veiny Willow if you were ever shot." Quinn added seriously
Rachel just laughed and snuggled up to her wife's side not before kissing her sweetly on the lips first.
"I'd go scary veiny Willow too" Rachel muttered.
Quinn just smiled and then turned back to watch the bus leave Sunnydale taking Buffy with it.
"Quinn is there a reason you're getting all nostalgic and watching Buffy?" Rachel asked after Quinn put in the season 3 DVD.
"No...just felt like watching it" Quinn shrugged.
"Are you sure?" Rachel asked with a raised eyebrow.
Generally there was always a reason for Quinn watching Buffy.
"It's just..." Quinn sighed
"Just?"
"All this talk about the good old days with Tina and Mercedes its just...got me thinking." Quinn replied getting comfy again on the couch with her wife.
"About what?" Rachel asked getting curious.
"About all the things that have happened in our lives that led us to where we are now. I mean who would have thought that we'd be here?" Quinn rambled
Rachel just smiled at the thought.
"Are you happy?" Quinn then asked
"What do you mean?" Rachel's smile faltered a little at her confusion
"Like...if you could do it all again would you change anything? Are you happy where your life has gone?" Quinn asked with a hint of nervousness.
"Of course I'm happy." Rachel replied immediately
Quinn just nodded slightly.
"Are you happy?" Rachel then asked with some worry.
"I am unbelievably happy with how my life has turned out...of course I'd prefer that I didn't have that heart attack but other than that. I'm so happy." Quinn smiled
"Good." Rachel nodded
Quinn pulled her wife close and gave her a sweet kiss that led to another and then another and then they were pretty much making out on the couch like a couple of horny teenagers. It was something they hadn't done in a long time. Just enjoying themselves making out on the couch while Buffy played in the background. It had been Rachel's only way of getting her girlfriend's attention when they were dating. Thankfully that tactic still worked after being married for god knows how many years now.
They continued to lazily kiss each other it wasn't really going anywhere but it was still nice and very much welcomed. Rachel lay snuggled up between her wife's legs as she hovered over the blonde trailing light kisses up and down Quinn's neck and whispering sweet nothings into her ear making her giggle and gasp.
"We would totally have an epic love theme like Buffy and Angel." Quinn murmured
Rachel just giggled and nodded before she went back to kissing her wife. Neither of them were sure how long they had been like this but when Quinn turned her head so Rachel could get better access the blonde couldn't help but giggle at the TV making Rachel stop.
"Do you like my mask? Isn't it pretty? It raises the dead!...Americans"
Quinn couldn't help but laugh out loud making Rachel roll her eyes and sigh in frustration.
"Oh come on you said you liked Giles." Quinn defended herself.
"Only because he has a rugged handsome older man appeal to him...and yes he also has a nice voice." Rachel admitted
"Ew Rach he's like Buffy's father figure." Quinn scrunched up her face
"So? You thought Buffy's mom looked hot" Rachel replied indignantly
"Well yeah because she totally is" Quinn stated.
"Whatever can we please go back to kissing?" Rachel grumbled
"But..." Quinn's eyes drifted back to the TV
"Oh my god Quinn you've seen it a thousand times before." Rachel huffed in annoyance.
"Fine" Quinn grumbled with a pout
"You are the most ridiculous person in the world my darling wife." Rachel mocked
Quinn just gave her a silly grin before pulling her back down to capture her lips again.
~~~ What's New Pussy Cat? ~~~
It was getting dark when Santana went out the back and found her wife sitting outside on the swing chair with Elvis curled up on her lap. The not so little cat got up and sat himself down on Santana's lap as soon as she sat down next to Brittany. The brunette huffed in annoyance as Elvis stomped around on her legs circling around a few times before he slumped back down again getting himself comfortable and then fell back asleep.
"Must he always do this?" Santana sighed
"He's adorable and I think he has a crush on you." Brittany smiled.
"He's a pain in the backside" Santana grumbled as she subconsciously began to gently tickle behind Elvis' ears making him purr.
Brittany just smiled. Santana tried to pretend she hated their ten year old cat but there was no denying it. Santana always had a soft spot for pussies.
"You ok babe?" Santana then asked
"I'm fine"
"Britt." Santana raised her eyebrow.
Brittany sighed she really couldn't hide much from her wife.
"I'm worried about Ducky"
"What? Why?" Santana looked a little surprised.
"I think she's depressed. Gracie was telling me that she's been acting sad lately and that she's not really dealing with not being able to have kids" Brittany replied sadly.
Santana's heart dropped at hearing her daughter wasn't as happy as she had seemed.
"Well...what do we do? I don't want my baby girl to be depressed. This is supposed to be a happy time. For both of them." Santana replied feeling a little helpless.
"I don't know. Maybe we could just talk to her." Brittany suggested.
"I don't think so" Santana shook her head.
"What do you mean?" Brittany argued
"Britt if we both come at her wanting to talk she'll get defensive. She's basically me...remember how I used to be?" Santana replied
"Yeah...you were a pain in the ass" Brittany smirked
"Shut up!" Santana huffed
Brittany just laughed.
"I'm just saying we shouldn't bombard her. Maybe you could talk to her you've always been the better mom so she'll listen to you" Santana then stated
"San don't say things like that." Brittany frowned
"Like what?" Santana asked in confusion
"That you're not a good mom."
"Well it's kind of the truth Britt. I mean me and Ducky can barely have a serious conversation and when we do it's all weird and awkward. Then there's Benny…he's like this amazingly good man and there is no way he got all that goodness from me." Santana replied with a shrug.
Brittany just sat there in amazement. After all this time, after everything her Santana still didn't believe in herself. She still thought she wasn't good enough. It made her sad to think that this is what Santana had thought and believed all these years.
"Santana do you love your kids?" Brittany asked
"What? Of course I do. I would give up my life for them you know that." Santana replied instantly
"Then why would you say you're not a good mom? You love them unconditionally and you would do anything for them. That makes you a good mom. You're there for them when they need you and I'm telling you they need you. You are a great mom and I don't ever want to hear you say that you're not." Brittany replied firmly.
Santana just looked down at the sleeping cat in her lap taking in Brittany's words.
"I think you should talk to Ducky" Brittany then suggested.
"What if she doesn't want to talk to me?" Santana quietly asked
"She will." Brittany replied with certainty
~~~ The Gift ~~~
Grace laid on her back watching the TV and eating her third bowl of popcorn she had a wild craving for it all morning. Her two blobs were kicking up a storm which did not amuse their mommy. She was seriously thinking about putting them in timeout as soon as she gives birth for kicking her so much. Sofia was getting ready in their bedroom. She was going to have lunch with Beth and talk. She wasn't really looking forward to it and kinda wanted to cancel but she had promised Grace and she couldn't really break her promise to her wife. That and she really did want to stop feeling the way she was feeling it was just going to be hard and uncomfortable talking about it to someone who wasn't Grace. She didn't even think she could talk to her parents about it. But if Beth had some kind of clue into what she was going through then she was probably the best person to help. With a heavy sigh Sofia made her way into the living room to say goodbye to her wife before she headed out.
"Gracie I'm gonna get going ok" Sofia told her as she sat down next to her wife.
Grace quickly paused the TV before replying
"Ok sweetie. I hope it helps." Grace smiled softly at her brunette.
"Me too" Sofia sighed
Grace sat up, which was kind of difficult so Sofia helped Grace just smiled thankfully at her.
"She won't push you. Don't even think about it ok just…let it come naturally." Grace suggested
Sofia just nodded
"I love you Sofia" Grace reassured her with a kiss.
"I love you too Gracie." Sofia mumbled
Sofia leaned in to kiss her wife and then gently kissed Grace's stomach before she got up and grabbed her purse.
"Babe?"
"Yeah?" Grace looked up
"You're not gonna…like watch that all day are you?" Sofia asked as she nodded towards the TV
"Why?" Grace asked sheepishly
"Well I don't really want the babies to come out thinking vampires are real or something." Sofia replied
"I'm just introducing them to art." Grace defended her actions.
"Right" Sofia replied not really believing that at all.
"Shush you! Go and see Beth and leave me alone with my art." Grace pouted
Sofia just chuckled as she headed out of their house while Grace went back to watching the best show ever!
"I found you, I will always find you."
"She'll always find you Tara" Grace cried as she stuffed a handful of popcorn into her mouth.
~~~ Dealing With Feelings ~~~
Sofia and Beth sat outside as they ate their lunch. Beth had prepared a light salad with some grilled chicken and some sparkling apple juice. For the most part the two just talked about everything and anything but the elephant in the room. They joked about the weird closeness of their parents and that no matter what Becky and Hannah always found themselves down in the basement after a party. They both agreed to fully take advantage of Toby being a police officer now. It got to the point where they had been there for over two hours and not one word was spoken about the real reason today was set up. Beth couldn't take it anymore so she broke the silence and jumped in head first.
"I know this is a little awkward. But just think of me as a sounding board. I won't judge you I'll just listen." Beth encouraged her.
"And I promise everything will stay between us if you want it to." She then added
It took Sofia a long while before she could muster up the courage to open up and talk about what it really was that she was feeling and thinking.
"You know when I was like a little kid I always knew that I would grow up one day and have this big family of my own and somehow Gracie would be a part of it" Sofia started then chuckled at herself.
"How I didn't know I was in love with her until I was sixteen I'll never know" She then added
"Hindsight…it's a beautiful thing" Beth smiled.
"It can also be a pain in the ass" Sofia quipped
Beth nodded and waited for Sofia to continue. It was a little strange, over the years of knowing each other Beth and Sofia never really had heart to heart talks about their lives and what they were going through. For the most part in the early days Sofia played the role as buffer between Grace and Beth. Making sure things between them stayed calm and not to over react at certain things. Sofia and Beth had become good friends but they weren't the type of friends you went to for deep and meaningfuls. Beth knew Sofia was a lot like Santana in that she would sometimes get defensive about talking about her feelings. She could also be kind of bitchy like her Mami but Sofia also had a softer kinder side to her that just reminded Beth of Brittany. Just by getting to know the young woman you could instantly tell who her parents are.
"Nobody really knows this…well except for Aunty Rach and Gracie but I um…a couple of years ago I was this close to getting a boob job" Sofia started talking again.
Beth was a little surprised to hear that and also a little confused as to what this had to do with Sofia's current issues.
"I was feeling…well…jealous. Looking back I can see how stupid I was for feeling that way but Gracie…she likes boobs. Seriously she sees a set of awesome twins and she zeros in on them. Sometimes I don't even think she knows she does it but she does." Sofia began to explain
Beth nodded still not really seeing a connection but she just let Sofia speak. She was there to listen so that's what she was going to do.
"I know it's not really real or whatever or it's just like…a stupid crush or something and it's kinda creepy and freaks me out a little but Gracie has always kinda had the hots for my ma." Sofia rambled
Beth couldn't help but chuckle at that. This wasn't exactly news to her. They had been joking about it for years.
"Anyways I had caught her checking out my ma on several occasions and at first it was just weird but then it got to the point where I was actually starting to worry and feel like I…wasn't enough for her if she was looking elsewhere. My ma had a boob job and she got all the attention so I figured I should just get one so Grace would stop looking at other women." Sofia revealed
Once again Beth was a little shocked by this. She knew Grace liked to look at other women because she wasn't exactly subtle sometimes. She was just like Quinn in that respect.
"Did you talk to her about it?" Beth finally spoke
Sofia nodded
"Yeah…she said she didn't realise she was doing it that often and apologised…a lot. She's been a lot better since then. I don't think it really meant anything when she looked at other girls. She just liked to look." Sofia replied
"Well that's good." Beth stated with relief.
"After Aunty Rach began to talk me out of it I started to realise the real reasons why I wanted to get a boob job. It wasn't just to get more attention or to be noticed…it was because I…I was insecure. I felt like I wasn't…womanly enough or something." Sofia quietly mumbled feeling rather exposed talking about her feelings.
"Sofia you're beautiful just the way you are." Beth softly told her to try and reassure the poor girl.
Sofia just half-heartedly smiled at the blonde in front of her.
"Anyway the reason why I'm telling you this is because I think it ties in with why I'm so angry about not being able to physically have kids. With you it's different. I'm not trying to say that what you've been through is nothing…and that your pain is nothing…but before you had your hysterectomy you could have children. You got to experience it even if it was only once. I can't have that…ever…and it makes me feel inadequate…like I'm some sort of freak or something." Sofia began to ramble as her emotions started to take over.
"You're not a freak Sofia. There are thousands of women in this world who can't have kids and that doesn't make them any less of a woman. It doesn't make you any less of a woman." Beth told her sternly. She needed Sofia to understand this.
"I don't want to hate my wife...but...she didn't want this. She didn't want to get pregnant. So why the fuck is she the one who can and am I the one who can't? It should have been me!" Sofia yelled then gasped in horror at what she was saying.
"God I'm a horrible fucking person" Sofia then cried.
"No. Sofia you're not. I get that. I get that feeling of...unfairness that there are some women in this world who can have children while I can't. I'm not saying I'm this amazing woman or that I'm the perfect mom but I deserve the chance to be one. Trust me I get it. Even though I've already got Davie the fact that I can't have any more kills me. When I was pregnant I would sometimes imagine what our lives would be like. Sometimes it was just me and Jeff and this little guy. But then sometimes it was me and Jeff and a whole bunch of little guys or girls." Beth told her.
Sofia didn't respond she just sat there wallowing in her self-loathing.
"Sofia I know this seems like hell…I've been there. It's not fun and it feels like shit but you need to let it go and look at the bigger picture." Beth spoke again to break her out of her sadness
Sofia looked up at the blonde and just waited for her to continue. Beth sighed with relief that Sofia was willing to listen.
"You may not physically be able to have children. But guess what? You can still have kids. Your wife is carrying your babies. Being a mother is more than just being the one who pushes a child through her vagina. It's about everything that comes afterwards. There is no man on this earth who will know what it's like to be pregnant. But that never stops them from being a parent. Just because you don't carry them for nine months doesn't mean you won't be their mother for the rest of their lives." Beth ranted
"What if they don't think of me as their mother?" Sofia quietly asked
Beth just looked at her as if she was cray cray.
"Do you think of Brittany as your mother?" Beth asked
"Well yeah she did give birth to me." Sofia replied with a shrug
"Ok and do you think of Santana as your mother?" Beth then asked
"Of course she's...I get it." Sofia sighed.
"Good. You and Gracie and even me of all people should know that it doesn't take blood to make a family." Beth replied
Sofia nodded in agreement.
"I'm just...scared." Sofia admitted
"We all get scared...that's one of the requirements of being a mom." Beth smiled
"What if-"
"Sofia I honestly without any doubt know that you and Grace will be awesome parents. I'm not just saying that because you're my family and I love you guys. I'm saying it because it's true. I think one of the reasons why you're so angry and sad about all this is because deep down your scared of not being able to be a good mom. But you will be. You were brought up by two amazing women who taught you how to be the caring and loving, and loyal and awesome person you are today and you'll teach your kids to be the same...probably even better." Beth tried to reassure her.
"No pressure then?" Sofia replied back sarcastically with just a little hint of her old self hidden in there.
Beth saw it and smiled at the girl in front of her.
"You know after they're born you and I are gonna be laughing about all this." Beth warned her.
"I hope so" Sofia replied honestly.
~~~ Wild Horses and Wise Men ~~~
Quinn came home late that evening after having to meet a new client with Mercedes. It had been a long day and she just wanted to take a long hot bubble bath and then maybe convince her wife to give her a happy before going to bed.
One thing she noticed as soon as she got home was that Charlie wasn't there. Her car wasn't out the front and usually she would be singing and practicing her lines for the musical that was opening soon. Quinn just figured she had a date with Ben or something so she headed on upstairs for that bubble bath. She slowly dragged her feet up the steps and made a left towards her bedroom when she noticed something. There was a soft warming glow coming from under the door to her bedroom and she could faintly hear some kind of music playing.
Quinn made her way to the door and gently opened it. What she found on the other side pretty much took her breath away. Standing there waiting for her was Rachel in a gorgeous elegant black dress surrounded by tea light candles and 'Wild Horses' playing softly in the background. Rachel smiled brightly at her wife as she stumbled into the room still a little surprised.
"Am I dreaming?" Quinn finally asked
"Nope" Rachel smiled and shook her head.
"Rach...this...is there a special occasion I'm missing?" Quinn asked in worry because she couldn't think of anything and god forbid she forget!
"Nope" Rachel repeated as she slowly moved closer to her wife.
"Well then...why?" Quinn asked as she blatantly checked her wife's body out. The dress had a low neckline.
Rachel just shrugged and gently helped her wife out of her blazer and let it drop to the floor.
"I just felt like romancing you...I don't do it as often as I should. You've been working so hard lately and I just wanted to...help you relax." Rachel softly spoke but had a hint of mischief in her eyes.
"Yeah?" Quinn smirked and leered at her wife.
Rachel just giggled at her and took a step back making Quinn pout.
"Later...but first...dance with me?" Rachel asked sweetly.
Quinn couldn't say no to that face. So she took Rachel's hand and pulled her in close wrapping her arm around her tiny waist as they began to slowly sway in time with the music.
"Why this song?" Quinn asked
"Because I know you've always secretly wanted to slow dance to this song after watching Buffy and Angel dance to it at prom." Rachel replied matter of factly.
Quinn just grinned and kissed her wife.
"You know me so well." Quinn pulled Rachel in even tighter.
"Well we have been together a while now. I was bound to pick up a few things" Rachel teased.
"I love you." Quinn just smiled brightly.
"I love you more" Rachel snuggled up to Quinn wrapping her arms around the blonde's neck.
"This reminds me of college" Quinn smiled softly
"Because we couldn't pay our electric bill that month and we had to rely on candles?" Rachel asked
"No" Quinn chuckled at that memory
Rachel just looked at her expectantly waiting for an explanation
"It was our fourth anniversary of being together and you had somehow managed to convince Santana and Brittany to stay somewhere else that night…you got dressed up all pretty and turned our apartment into like…some kind of magical place with fairy lights and candles it was so romantic and I thought my god how on earth can I be this lucky? We spent the night dancing kinda like this…and then we spent the rest of the night wrapped up in each other's arms…up until that point it was the best night of my life." Quinn smiled at her wife who was getting all teary eyed.
"I'm the lucky one Quinn." Rachel quietly told her
"We're both lucky" Quinn stated before placing a soft kiss to her wife's lips.
They continued to sway and dance around their bedroom just enjoying the moment together. Quinn added a few different dance moves. Twirling Rachel and even ending the dance with a dip and a kiss.
"We should do this more often" Quinn stated as they sat down on their bed for a rest.
"Dance?" Rachel asked
"No...well yeah but I mean...the romance. We've kinda been lacking in that department." Quinn replied.
"Well its been quite a year. Sometimes these things get pushed aside. I didn't do this to make a point." Rachel carefully told her
"No I know. I wasn't saying that. I just mean...I know I'm not the most romantic wife in the world and ok I kind of maybe sometimes just go straight for the sex...but I should try harder...I like romancing you too." Quinn rambled.
"You are the perfect wife Quinn Berry-Fabray." Rachel reassured her.
"You are...you've put up with all of my crazy for years." Quinn chuckled.
"True...but then so have you. We've both had our moments" Rachel replied bumping shoulders with the blonde.
"You mean when you told the whole Glee club about my Playboys and the fact that I had early arrival problems in the bedroom?" Quinn chuckled.
"I didn't mean to do that" Rachel laughed.
"Or when you let Brittany slap me when you guys thought me and San were having an illicit affair?" Quinn giggled
"That was kinda hot actually now that I think about it" Rachel smirked
Quinn looked scandalized but then just laughed.
"You look really pretty tonight." Quinn sighed happily as she took her wife's hand into her own.
"Thank you" Rachel smiled sweetly.
"Do you have anything else planned?" Quinn then asked
"Well I just figured we dance and then have wild passionate sex" Rachel smirked as she nipped at her wife's neck.
Quinn just chuckled.
"Well that does sound nice but first I have an idea."
"Yeah?" Rachel pulled back looking at her wife with curiosity.
Quinn just nodded with a small smile. Several minutes later the married couple were relaxing having a bubble bath together. Quinn sat up against the back of the tub with Rachel resting between her legs. Her back pressed up tightly to Quinn's front. The blonde had her arms wrapped tightly around her wife's stomach as they quietly talked about their day. They had moved some of the candles into the bathroom to make it more romantic and sensual. Rachel gently ran her fingers along the curve of Quinn's legs as they sat together. Every now and then Quinn would place a gentle kiss to Rachel's shoulders. Her hands sometimes wandered a little but for the most part they stayed around Rachel's stomach.
"Oh hey did I tell you that Lilly is taking Amanda to the Spring Dance?" Quinn asked
"No…aww that's so adorable! Tell Mercedes I demand a copy of the photos." Rachel cooed
"Will do." Quinn nodded as she traced a few patterns on her wife's back
"I'm getting all wrinkly" Rachel giggled as she lifted her hands out of the water.
"Mmmm...this is so relaxing I don't wanna get out" Quinn groaned
"The water's getting cold. I can feel your nipples." Rachel added
"No that's just because I have a sexy naked lady pressed up against me" Quinn replied with a chuckle.
"Come on Quinn...let's go to bed" Rachel turned slightly to look back at her wife.
"Kay" Quinn replied with a lazy smile.
They helped each other get up and even dried each other off. Even though they have been together for so long they both still giggled as they went. Quinn being Quinn was ever the inappropriate one. 'Accidentally' dropping the towel and using her hands to 'dry' Rachel off. Rachel didn't really mind though and just let her wife do whatever she wanted.
When Quinn decided they were dry enough they headed back into their bedroom and quickly blew out most of the remaining candles before collapsing onto their bed immediately cuddling up together.
"Sing to me" Quinn softly asked
"Really?"
"Yep...you always used to sing to me. I miss it" Quinn replied shyly.
"What would you like me to sing?" Rachel asked with a small smile.
Her wife was being quite adorable at the moment.
"Anything" Quinn shrugged.
Rachel just nodded and then took a moment to think of a song. When one popped into her head she just smiled and cleared her throat before she softly sang to her wife. They were laying side by side facing each other with all but a few inches between them. Rachel took her wife's hands into her own bringing them up to place a sweet kiss to their joined hands. If tonight was going to be about romance then Rachel was going to go all out and you could never go wrong with a little bit of Elvis.
"Wise men say only fools rush in
But I can't help falling in love with you.
Shall I stay
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you.
Like a river flows, surely to the sea
Darling so it goes. Some things are meant to be.
Take my hand, take my whole life too.
For I can't help falling in love with you."
As Rachel finished the last note Quinn pulled her in close, closing the small gap between them and never wanting to let go.