They have sat in silence for the last ten minutes.
"Oh my God Harvey, say something! You're killing me here."
"I don't know what to tell you. I care about you, Julianne, I really do. But-"
"Okay… just stop, never mind."
Harvey just looks at her.
"If you continue, I'm afraid you'll break my heart and I don't want that, so let's just move on and watch some TV or something."
He nods his head in agreement.
She turns on the TV and flips through the guide, she settles on a rerun of 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.'
The clock reads 10:30pm which explains why she is starting to feel sleepy.
"I can't believe I have to go to work tomorrow. I liked sleeping in."
"Yeah, but tomorrow you start as Jessica Pearson's associate. That's big."
Julianne curls up against Harvey's side.
"I'm excited. I am just glad I no longer answer to Louis."
"I'm sure every associate is jealous of you. You're the only associate in the firm who doesn't have to answer to him now. Congratulations."
"Yeah, lucky me," she says punctuating it with a yawn.
"I should head home, it's getting late. Sorry I'm not staying over. I didn't think to bring a change of clothes for work tomorrow"
"It's fine."
They get up and make their way to the door.
"Thanks for taking a half day today, I had fun."
"I had fun, too. It sure beat being at work, that's for sure."
Harvey steps out of the door and turns and faces her.
"I really do like spending time with you Julianne," he reaches and brushes the hair away from her face, "and I really do want to go with you to your brother's wedding, meet your family and all that. But I don't think I can give you that formal commitment you're hoping for. I am not sleeping with anyone else; you're the only person in my life. But anything more than that…"
"Harvey… I don't know what to say. Right now, for this time being, I am content with this arrangement; I know it doesn't seem like it but I am. But what about when I reach the point where that isn't enough? What then?"
They stand and stare at each other.
"I don't know, Juls, I really don't know."
Julianne gets off the elevator and makes her way to the desk she hasn't missed.
"Hey, look whose back at work!" Mike announces to an empty room as he gets up off his chair.
Julianne flashes him a smile.
"Mike! So tell me, did I miss anything?"
"You've missed nothing. This place is the same as it's always been."
Rachel enters the room and walks up to Mike.
"Here are those files you asked for Mikey."
"Thanks Rach."
Julianne waits until Rachel is out of ear shot, "So what's going on with you two?"
"We've finally been able to get back to being friends."
"Why did you two stop dating anyway?"
"Uh… long story."
"Hey, come over tonight. I'll cook and we can chat."
"You're on, sounds good."
"Mike?" Louis bellows upon entering the room.
"Yeah?"
Louis walks up to Mike and pauses when he spots Julianne at her desk.
"Good morning, Miss. Monroe."
"Morning, Louis. I'll leave you two to talk; I'll go pay Jessica a visit."
"Good morning, Ms. Pearson," Julianne says nervously.
"Welcome back Julianne. Please come all the way in, have a seat."
Jessica gets up from her desk and makes her way to the couches off to the side.
"The newest issue the firm has to deal with, I handed off to Harvey. So you'll go see him and offer your help."
"Great, will do."
"Tell me, how was your vacation?"
"It was really nice. It was a tad stressful with the wedding dress shopping, but once we found the dress, it was easier to relax."
Jessica smiles, "That's great Julianne. When is the wedding? Have you put in for the time off yet?"
"I have, I told Norma about it a few months ago."
"Great, then it should be on the calendar already. Well, I should get back to work and you should go see Harvey. Again, welcome back, but remember vacation is over."
Julianne laughs, "Thanks Ms. Pearson."
"Oh please, call me Jessica."
Julianne leaves Jessica's office and heads down the hall to Harvey's. Once she reaches Donna's desk she stops.
"Hey Donna."
Donna looks up from her computer, "Hey Julianne. How's it going?"
"Pretty good, you?"
Donna stands up and looks around, "Ya have a minute?"
"Yeah sure."
Julianne follows her down the hall to the partner's kitchen.
"Is everything alright between you and Harvey?"
Julianne is a bit taken aback by Donna's forwardness.
"Um, yeah. Why?"
"He came into work this morning all disheveled. I tried guess what was up and when I got your name he froze. I can usually read him like a book. What's going on?"
"Donna, I don't know if I-"
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Harvey keeps his personal life private. I know Harvey better than anyone. If there is anyone in this office you can talk to about him it's me, trust me."
"I can't talk about it now, I am unsure of what to think myself. I'm really sorry."
"Okay, well we're doing lunch today. It'll help you feel better, trust me. Until then I will press Harvey for details."
Julianne stands there, feeling unsure of what to do next.
"Well, uh, I should go see Harvey now."
"Right, okay."
They both head back towards Harvey's office; Donna splits off to her desk while Julianne walks into Harvey's office.
"Mornin' Harvey."
Harvey looks up from his computer.
"Hello. What's going on?"
"I'm here to help. Jessica told me she handed you a new case this morning."
Harvey just glances over to the table off to the side.
"Everything is on that table. Look through it. I'm sure you can figure out what needs to be done."
"Um… okay."
Julianne is put off by Harvey's dismissive attitude.
"Okay, well, I'm going to take these and look through them at my desk. Is that okay?"
"Yeah. Do whatever you want."
Julianne gathers the files and its contents and walks over and stands in front of his desk.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Harvey says glancing up at her with a look of annoyance plastered all over his face.
"Okay, fine; if you don't want to talk about it that's fine. But you can talk to me Harvey."
Julianne walks around his desk and stands by his side. She takes her hand and starts to rub his back.
"Julianne, don't. Just get back to work."
She removes her hand and stands frozen beside him.
She finally reaches his office door; she stops and looks back at him.
"Harvey, please. Don't be like this."
He ignores her and continues working.
"Hey you ready for lunch?" Donna asks.
"Just about, finishing up this real… quick…," Julianne says staring at her computer monitor.
"Okay, done."
Julianne stands up and grabs her purse.
Donna picked a nice Italian restaurant around the corner from their office. The ladies sit down and place their orders right away.
"Okay, so what's going on with you and Harvey? I saw you two earlier; you guys were a tad awkward."
Julianne shrugs her shoulders and traces the rim of her water glass with her index finger.
"Well, what started it all? You have to at least know that. Did you fight?"
"I brought up a topic last night that didn't go over so well," Julianne looks down at the table, "I regret ever saying anything."
"So clue me in though, what did you say? It must have been some conversation; he left yesterday afternoon the happiest guy in the world and came back shut down. Oh my, did you guys not have sex last night?"
Julianne blushes, "No… well, yes, we did, but that has nothing to do with it…"
Julianne sips her water and tries to figure out if she should tell Donna about what happened.
"Donna, I don't know. I've never really talked to you about this. It's weird."
"Oh please. Don't give me that. I'm Donna, I know things. Like I said, I can read Harvey so I know more about your relationship than you think. But this, this stumps me, I can offer you some advice… probably."
Julianne takes a deep breath, "Well, pretty much I asked him about… us, and turns outs we aren't much. He cares about but we're not… I don't know, anything more than two people who hang out and sleep together."
"Well, that's not true. He looks at you in a different way, trust me. I have seen some of the women he has 'dated,' and none of them receive the constant attention like you do."
Julianne rolls her eyes
"Donna, I think I freaked him out; I told him I was falling in love with him."
Donna winces.
"What? Was that bad? Fuck. What's wrong with me?"
"No, it's not bad. It's just… he doesn't get emotionally involved like that. When he's with a woman he cares about her in a sense of what she does for him. She's gorgeous? That makes him look good. She's good in bed? That makes him feel good. He cares about these women because he cares about what they do for him."
"Grrrreat. That makes me feel loads better."
"I wasn't done."
"Go on."
"But that's not what you are for him. Sure, you're gorgeous, good in bed, I assume so anyway, but that's not what keeps him going back to you. He cares about you and not for what you do for him, but what you do to him."
"What do you mean?"
"Juli, do you think he kissed you in front of all the associates because he wanted them to know you were his? He did it because he wanted to prove to you it didn't matter who knew. And whether he meant to or not, he is emotionally attached to you, he just has a weird way of showing it"
"Yeah, but how can he do these things and feel this way, yet not want to have a formal commitment with me? Shit, right now, I'd be happy with him admitting I'm his girlfriend. But he won't."
"You're falling in love with him under this circumstance; can't you find happiness within that?"
"Bottom line is I want to get married some day. Helping with my brother's wedding has really made me see that. But how I can get married when I am spending my time with someone who is married to his job?"
"All I am saying is, he told you from the start what to expect. Can you really hold it against him because you now want something different?"