Act II
"Alright, so it's settled." Gandalf paused for a breath before continuing; the arguments over seating arrangements had taken a toll on him. "Frodo will sit up front with Boromir since he's the ring-bearer; myself, Legolas, and Aragorn will sit in the middle row, and Gimli, Samwise, and Merry shall take the last row."
"What about me?" Pippin piped up, "You said that car could seat nine."
"Ah yes, of course! Last but not least, Master Peregrin, you shall go in the trunk."
Pippin's face fell. Aragorn nudged Gandalf.
"I thought you said Gollum would go in the trunk, should we encounter him on our quest."
"That I did. Forgive me, Pippin, but I'm afraid we will have to tie you to the roof."
"I suppose we could always tie Gollum to the roof and let Pippin have the trunk."
"Oh, where's the fun in that?" But when Gandalf saw Pippin's horrified face he sighed and relented. "Very well, you may ride in the trunk, Master Peregrin."
With the help of Legolas, Pippin climbed into the trunk and was soon joined by Boromir's metal shield and sword, as well as a large portion of his body armor, Gimli's axe and beard-grooming supplies, Aragorn's sword, Legolas's bow and quiver of arrows, Gandalf's staff, as well as the small lightweight swords gifted to each hobbit. Just when he thought they couldn't possibly fit anything more into the trunk, several bags of food were packed in around his feet. Pippin picked up one of the cartons of 2% milk and was about to ask if they had remembered to get any skim, as his system was quite sensitive, when the trunk door was slammed in his face.
Boromir eased himself into the driver's seat and nodded a friendly "hello" to Frodo, who had been waiting nervously in the passenger seat for over ten minutes while the final seating arrangements were made. Boromir was intrigued by the way the hobbit closed his fist around the ring protectively as he reached over to take his sunglasses out of the glove compartment. He slipped his sunglasses over his eyes and continued to glance surreptitiously at the golden treasure dangling enticingly from its silver chain.
"The seating arrangements did not involve me being stuck in the middle of you two." Gandalf's irritated voice rang out from the middle row of seats, startling Boromir out of his reverie. Aragorn had climbed in first and claimed the window seat, and Gandalf, a fool to the ways of car seating, had climbed in behind him, followed by Legolas, who slid the door shut behind him after Frodo politely informed him that he was letting out the AC. "I refuse to sit in between you two!" He gestured to Aragorn. "I just know that the music from your earbuds is going to be blaring and Legolas is going to be eating chips the whole way!"
"That's alright, we can switch." Aragorn, always the diplomat, unbuckled his seatbelt and the two did an awkward dance as they tried to shimmy past one another. The ranger was relieved that they had managed to talk Gandalf into putting his staff in the trunk; had he not, it probably would have wound up whacking him in the store.
The door slid open again and Gimli struggled up into the car's elevated interior. He stumbled into the third row of seats and buckled himself in, followed by Sam and Merry, the latter in the middle to prevent Sam and Gimli's muffin tops from squishing together.
"Alright!" Gandalf clapped his hands together, "This is your last chance to go to the bathroom! We are not stopping for at least another four hours, so if you have to go, go now!"
A million seatbelt clicks ensued, as everyone in the car, save Frodo, Gandalf, and Pippin - who couldn't move because he was crushed by the luggage - bolted from their seats and hightailed it back inside the House of Elrond for one last pee. Gandalf slapped his forehead with his palm. "Unbelievable."