Ch2

Cas was bored, a thing he had not really had to deal with till recently.

Even when he had his job the last time he fell he had bills to pay, forms to fill out. Unbidden Cas remembered the painful experience of going to the D.M.V for his driving test and license.

"sir you are registered as a missing person, you need to go to the police station and fill out form 10-c get your fingerprint card and if necessary reactivate your social in case you were classified as deceased"

the lady had looked at him piercingly "also I need two forms of I.D." Cas had shifted uncomfortably

"but I'm right here and I lost all my paperwork" the lady pursed her lips very "well then what state were you born in you need them to send a state valid copy of your birth certificate"

her pen hovered over paper expectantly while cas tried to rifle through his memory for details he was unsure the location of or access to in his brain. The ladies eyes softened for a moment taking in the man wracking his brain before her then narrowed in irritation.

"sir if you have had a recent head trauma that effects memory as well you are going to need to get a medical evaluation before you can get a license" she taped on her computer a bit and looked him up and down "have you been in a hospital recently for physical or mental trauma" cas merely turned around and walked out.

The eventual driving test had been a small nightmare as well…

Squashing that set of flashing images from his head he considered the archives in front of him. He had exhausted every book and resource to try to solve his and deans problem to no avail and could not think of anything new. He was reserving his energy, could not fly on whim even if he wanted to.

So he had become familiar with the bunker. But now that he could read a book free of all but need for distraction, he had a millennia of Meditrons info in his head. So that had lost its appeal. Maybe he could write stories, facts and such to increase the library of men of letters? The men of letters seemed a masochistic bunch in that they wrote in Latin or Enochian and Sumerian to keep their tomes difficult to read even in their own library. one ridiculous book was hand drawn cuneiform scratches.

Maybe to show off, maybe to keep the uneducated even among themselves from reading. Sure there were copies of ancient text in their original language, no lingual telephone there but also books written in obscure languages for the apparent heck of it.

Cas wondered if perhaps tom sawyer would be funnier in Enocian, and smiled to himself. There was a room with some musical instruments maybe he could play one?

But then like a strike to his mind he was aware in his new knowledge music, so much music he knew about. But then even as that thought passed he knew his taste in music was not Metatrons and could near see his mind recategorizing the whole set of info for his own brains definitions.

Cas felt a bit dizzy. Laptop, he needed to find a laptop, suddenly he needed to listen to music to confirm his opinions on his second hand info.

On one hand Cas was no longer bored but now he was almost annoyed at the amount of sorting he wanted to do. While flitting from one place to the next interdimensionally was a second nature to Cas he found a joyful sort of annoyance in walking all the way from the archives to the main room, where Sam was on a couch reading a book with a bottle of whisky on the table and his computer on the other table.

Cas ignored Sam in his goal but though he had not a connection with Sam near his brother he could feel that Sam was focusing on the book with a forced singularity instead of Cas himself as he passed. It occurred to Cas as he opened his tenth tab in a lineup of songs and pressed play on the first one that maybe the angel, demon, and all tablets might be in his head if Metitron had indeed given him all of his knowledge of what he read and such.

Cas could recall movies he had never seen, as Cas looked past the screen in front of him he wondered if he could use what Metitron had given him to remember the voice or face of god, a comforting thing to Cas to imagine even second hand.

Closing his eyes against all but digesting and sifting through his own mind he was overcome with the vast swell of just so much cluttered info, he imagined that in order to carve through the bulk he would have to sort through it like finding a needle in a haystack. A distracting thought passed that his intense concentration had blown his earphones, rather Sam's.

Cas was unaware he had been using his power, and was pleasantly surprised that he was still healthy enough even as he was to accidentally do something like this. Unplugging the headphones and listening to music on the speakers Cas at length found himself reading about the dewy decimal system, maybe if he sorted the info in his head like this it would be easier.

The auto player on the website rolled from one song to the next and Cas let it intent on his next task. But after a while he felt Sam staring at him making eye contact when he could no longer even pretend not to be aware of Sam staring lasers with him Cas raised a eyebrow. Sam was drunk, and grinned at Cas "making dean a mix tape?" Sam propped his head up between his hands and tilted his head "you gonna make dean breakfast in bed?"

Cas looked at Sam and a swirl of available witty retorts danced just under his lips but he looked back at the computer and pretended to continue what he was doing. Witty retorts were not really his thing, but now he had the info in context to make them.

Cas was in existential peril was he the sum of his knowledge, would this second hand experience and info change him or enrich him.

He still was himself right even as the info filtered into himself as a eventual conformability?

Deftones change was playing and Cas quickly got up and backed awy from the computer, creeped out a little.

The zemblanity of it was terrifying, and he doubted it now but its possibility was making him uneasy.

His taste for music and musing through his counter-interests was effectively soured for now. The mention of food by sam enticing, as his various weaknesses came and went and humanity lingered in and out of possibility Cas had found joy in human things given plain and gritty medium.

Today he would make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and see how well his tongue could taste today.

A sum of molecules once had again turned into a wonderful bliss. Cas puffed his breath into his hand to see if his morning breath was bad as he had forgotten to brush.

It was, he debated kitchen or teeth. Kitchen. Sam murmured from the couch slung haphazardly on it and flowing in and out of the air in front of himself his mind drawled.

Cas resolutely beelined for the jack bottle and took it with him, immune to Sam's poor attempt to do anything other than whine about it "heeey bring that back" everyone was taking a day off, Cas fixed himself a sandwich and left the bunker to eat it outside enjoying some sunshine and a bashful shameful joy in his sandwich he took in the sunlight and the details of the trees and bugs and the earth, while considering the nature of mostly willess kinetic of air brushing the leaves on the tree he was leaning against, the leaf itself pulling in protons, while the tree caught up in concern of water conservation was caught between opening its stoma to take in the carbon dioxide Cas was emitting and closing them to not lose moisture.

Cas himself was polishing off the bottle of jack he enjoyed the rising burn of it rolling around just inside of his ears and in his stomach and was confronted by a curious fat carpenter bee.

Cas could not help the joy of reconisation of the bee buzzing before him did they speak the same language as the noble honey bee? Cas set his lips against his teeth and buzzed at the bee who landed on his shoulder and conversed for a moment about the flowers and the mathematical relations of the space between them as it danced wobbly, while the carpenter bee did not often dance it was still determined to share, on his collar and buzzed off on its way.

Cas smiled to himself and wandered over to the field indicated and lie among the flowers, listening to the insects buzzing, half heard conversations. Birds shouted out their territorial cries and cried sexual innuendos, bursts of fear and anger in chirps of different tone. A meadowlark rang through in uncertain mating call, sounding healthy but unsure of itself.

Cas guessed it was the bird equivalent of a teenager. A crow in the distance cawed to another making note across the distance that it had found food and its buddy should join it for the meal.

cas pulled back to himself and thought about what dean had said while distressed and remembered that he had once possessed dean but not fully, would there be his grace left in the man from those few quick and incomplete interactions? What was the nature of Cas's hand print interdenominationaly relevant? Was there his grace left in the man?

Cas had popped up in the hotel room, dean was asleep. Cas observed the man for a moment and considered leaving, his wings tilted for it. Cas needed a distraction, and dean was asleep.

What to do now.

Maybe he should groom his wings, they were functional but they reflected his frayed mental distress, maybe some meditation and some attendance to his interdimensional ties.

His stability was good, but could it be better? Cas brought his wings to current dimensional restraint and considered them, he brought jimmy's borrowed flesh to one and gave it a poke, his manifested soul gave a reassuring resistance, and it was stable enough not to cause the flesh harm, manifesting ones soul without putting out harmful rays was tedious and demanding, after all the visual field was so restricted within a certain wavelength, and it was weighted with his being.

They looked a bit unkempt, the distress of current circumstance ruffled a feather here and there.

Jimmy himself was somewhere in there, unconscious and rising now and then with curiosity and though Cas could push him back down, he was aware of his intendance to jimmy's distress being so near to his own conscious jimmy was in a state of malaise.

There was just so much to do, Cas hadn't really had the time to consider the details. "Cas what are you doing?" dean kept the volume low as his brother was asleep as well but still managed to put emotion into it.

Cas walked up to dean and noted the white in his eye get bigger as he approached, his wings still out Cas later realized was perhaps a bit unnerving. Cas put his hand to deans forehead and transported him to a empty Wal-Mart parking lot where he now lay in the concrete gagging slightly "Jesus! Warn a guy!"

dean stood up and took in the surroundings as if ready for a fight against the dark in between the lot lights. When nothing jumped out and obviously said boo, he leveled his gaze at Cas who was merely observing.

"the hell man?" had the man thought that he would be needed in battle? True the man could take a hit, and the new info he would be willing to help in a moments notice was filed away despite the hilarity that Cas would need to grab the man as backup for a battle he could not handle alone.

"I want you to take care of my vessel for a while I attend to myself but I'm not really safe…" Cas searched for a word, naked, degloved, insubstantial? "attend to yourself?" dean looked Cas over as if looking for injury, then his eyebrow quirked

"what" Cas looked off through the store to note a particularly large possum behind the store chowing down on a large bug. "I am in a kind of disarray and would like to pull myself together better to be effective"

"you are a….. dynamic thinker and I was thought you might help" deans eyebrows attempted to leave his hairline, then quickly descend.

"so you want me to baby-sit jimmy for a while". at length dean asked "so what's jimmy's idea of a night on the town, what does he do? if I took him to a stripper bar would that be blasphemy?"

Cas who had let jimmy be aware for the conversation asked a answer to this question "jimmy says he enjoys long walks on the beach, ritual sacrifice and cocaine"

after a moment he felt jimmy laugh somewhere within him at his expense " jimmy is being uncooperative and ornery" Cas said with a sigh "also dean you have blasphemed in your words at least once in this conversation alone" dean laughed hysterically for a uncomfortably long time in Cas's opinion.

"ok man I got you" Cas evaluated the man not as a man but a place and assessed him, a vessel.

"you know dean if I need a place to hide it would be very convenient to be able to come to you, I am vulnerable apart from jimmy, and if something goes wrong my ability to properly defend myself is greatly hindered" dean looked both scared and pissed alternately

"hell no" . He controlled his face "I'm down for babysitting, you trust me enough with that but I'm not just some pimped out ride everyone wants a spin in"

"very well" cas put his finger to deans forehead while he was in the mist of working up a further onslaught of words and transported him to the impala.

Dean weakly leaned against it and closed his eyes "seriously, stop doing that" he said to a now happy jimmy rolling from back to front of his foot in excited nervous. "can we get something to eat?" jimmy said to the now heaving dean. Cas had circled and fled to some nearby woods as a insubstantial light.

It was later when Cas had come back that he was having difficulty zeroing in on his vessel as both it and dean were walking down the street equally drunk and singing [what Cas now recognized as dropkick Murphy's drink and fight, or was it buck-o-nine did dropkick do a cover eh why get distracted mid reminisce cas thought] both being vessels and inebriated he could feel them both but they were both in the same emotion too.

Cas spun around them and picked one, the wrong one.

Cas had plunged down the throat of dean and felt as soon as he reached out that this was not jimmy and turned on himself and fled to jimmy.

A onlooker to the drunken pair had seen a blue light drawn between the two men whose faces were turned to each other and flicked his blunt, believing himself done for the day, month, week, ever, maybe he should pick up knitting as a relaxing venture…

Dean had later said that he didn't remember much but feeling cas realize the mistake and going to jimmy, and cas knew had not attempted to fully possess dean.

Dean had herd cas asking and had said yes in drunken joke, but had meant it as well despite himself.

But thankfully by the time dean was aware of it enough to react it was the next day and with a hangover and cas heard the blasphemous prayers to his name and was grateful because they were so narrowly directed at him that his brothers or sisters would probably not hear.

The other time had been while he was still having mental health issues, before he had shown up naked and covered in bees on deans impala, cas had unannounced just flew down deans throat and like a pin ball had jumped from rib to rib and hugged deans soul before leaving him again, that same day he had tried to possess a cat who unfortunately could not contain his grace and had sublimated with a rather pathetic "mew".

but Cas could not remember a time he had really fully possessed as a vessel the man, when he had raised dean was a bit blurry in Cas's memory.

Cas sighed and considered wearing something different today as a signifier of his day off, but his thinking on vessels was making him think of if he had taken jimmies kid as a vessel may have been annoying.

In his several near humanity falls he had lost the ability to stop his vessels aging during those stints. How annoying to have to buy clothes to adapt to a growing Childs body, but this one was older. The child may have lived longer but was he going to snuff out no matter his fleshes age when his grace was gone and out, or be mortal? Would he have enjoyed boobs? He did enjoy this body's various switches and tricks.

And why not? It was his day off, Cas grabbed a unopened daisy and bent it down to his mouth and put the stem between his teeth and ran his tongue against it and pushed a tiny bit of his energy against the plants, just enough to touch and mingle, the plants young leaves grew and the older leaves curled up dead the other flowers on it curling into nothing but black echoes.

Cas blushed and resonated his energy with the plant, the thing was a perennial, it would have only lived this year merely to produce the seeds of the next generation its whole life so revolving around reproduction the flower unfolding between his teeth sang a energy of uncontained sexuality sharing his energy and it grew and opened and then blackened and fell leaving a swirl of pollen and a perfume that left the insects looking for nectar swirling lost for its source.

Cas smiled to himself, a small panting passing as his heart returned to a normal pace, what a way to go, and the plant couldn't have had better, Cas put his hand behind his head and lazily grabbed another unopened daisy placing it between his lips and slid his hand down his pants. Certainly the plants experience and his was a different set but why not enjoy the underlying need and pull of it.

Jimmy had at some point been circumcised but after being torn apart, put together and injured in a million ways the angel had healed even that on him just out of side effect of healing the body, now without even the echo of that soul in him Cas felt no abashedness to enjoy. Cas appreciated his form, the swirls on his fingertips were mostly circles with one finger having a loop he had found one time while bored and enjoying his own details, he found that his dimensions below the belt were average, but then later he had found that they were above average his reference being porn.

Cas wondered if his brother would have approved being 'in porn' a few times of cas being well equipped to show him up in his own medium. Cas frowned to himself eew did not want to think of his now dead brother just now.

Cas furled some more energy against the flower and it echoed back a thrum of warm needy. To Cas's joy his becoming human had enriched the ability to just enjoy the act being overwhelmed as a thing, thoughts wandering in every direction, the lack of singularity had always been a trait of his. But humanity had enriched the ability to succumb to anything that would catch him up in its intrigue, to be a victim was not always nice pain and discomfort inescapable was annoying.

But cas running a finger along his frenulum gasped and a petal to the flower in his mouth stuck to his nose a puff of pollen making him sneeze and that even making him gasp Cas grabbed the flower back to his lips and hummed at it swirling his energy in the sound the leaves wilted in the heat of it unstable and too much for the flower when cas drew breath again the flower was ash and cas spit out its remnants, and with mischief grabbed another daisy and bent it to his lips, cas noted he was running out of daisies in his reach and if he didn't cum soon he would have to diversify his energies lovemaking to another thing.

How many vague wisps of flower could he tint and suck up before he was in threat of blasphemy?

Cas gasped and whimpered as he squirmed his orgasm left him panting and he could no longer concentrate on the flower or its destruction and joy, just his passing attempt to control his energy from destroying it, a talent cas regularly aspired to not cause harm even in a state of distraction. The daisy plant had been sucked dry of energy then burned by the flood of Cas's and the flower sat plucked in Cas's closed lips having grown overly large with the strange interaction Cas spun it in front of his face and considered it, now a whole handbreadth in size it would make a good gift for dean. The sky spun in a dizzy wave of whisky tinted afterglow.

Something to cheer his room up. Cas got up, clipped his coat over his front and grabbed his oversensitive dick and gave it a squeeze to enjoy the overwhelming too much of spazzed nerves, cas swayed for a moment and zipped himself not remembering unzipping. Cas made a bouquet to go with his flower.

Cas found himself slumped against the hallway wall and then turned down another hallway upright and supported by a wall his arm holding him up he had been having difficulty finding deans room. Cas knocked on the door " dean, lemme in" the door on the other side of the hallway opened and Cas heard a "the hell?" behind him and turned to dean to ask for another set of clothes on account of everyone having today off and he wanted to look relaxed today.

Dean took in Cas's slur and comical knocking on the door across from his and decided to enjoy whatever weird distraction serendipity had decided to provide him with today.

"sure"

dean visualized in his mind himself penciling in 'attend to Cas being weird' between 'contemplate plausible suicide scenarios' and 'try to pretend to sleep another 14 hours'. dean waved the angel into his room and picked out a shirt and jeans. Handing Cas this dean balked a bit when cas dropped his coat where he stood and toed out of his shoes aquardly. "um Cas how about you change in the bathroom" dean suggested.

Cas scanned the room and his eyes settled onto unattended cup. Cas dropped the flowers in it and put water in it in the sink and set it a little too hard on a likely surface without comment. Cas grabbed his coat off the floor and thanked dean with a slight sway headed to the bathroom to dress. Dean eyed the bouquet on his nightstand in a drinking glass and took in Cas coming from his bathroom in something other than what he wore all the time and while a lot of things were rolling around in his head the one on the forefront was "are you drunk?" dean sat on his bed where he had watched cas swirl around his room. All indicators were pointing to yes cas was lit.