Hitsugaya POV
"What don't you like about yourself?" Dr Kasumi asked as she sat on a chair near my left bedside. She was wearing green scrubs, and had even brought help in case if I attacked her again. Two big African American men whom had their heads shaved and were both wearing matching white scrubs were standing on both sides of my bed with their arms crossed across their chest.
"Dr Hitsugaya, if you don't answer my question I'm going to assume that you want to stay here longer." She said as she began to tap on her clipboard with her black ball point pen which was swinging in between her right index finger and thumb.
"I never liked myself." I answered frankly as I continued to stare at the white pop-corn styled ceiling.
"Oh?"
"Whenever I look into the mirror I just see…my…my father." I said as I closed my eyes tightly in order to block the memories.
"Toshiro, come here."
"Okay…dad…"
"Your father, he was a military man, correct?" Dr Kasumi asked as she continued to write. "According to your records he was a drill sergeant, whom got moved to a higher sergeant position but was never sent to war."
"He begged to not be sent away just because he wanted to raise our family right." I said before I began to laugh at how pathetic that excuse was.
"I see…he's still serving his life sentence." Dr Kasumi said seriously before she laid her clip-board and ball point pen to rest on her lap. "Tell me about your childhood experience."
"I don't think I can." I said seriously as I closed my eyes.
"Well, we could mow the lawn and cut the weeds or we can just get rid of them all together."
"Well…it all started when we moved to Japan…"
Karin POV
"Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you?" Ichigo said as he helped me walk up my stairs towards my room.
"I'm sure. Trust me. I'm not eleven anymore." I said as I yanked my right arm out of Ichigo's grasp and took the next five steps towards the end of the staircase walking all the way to the door of my room. I leaned on my door and placed my right hand on the knob before I turned my head to the left in order to see Ichigo on the same step that I had left him…staring at me with worry in his eyes. "Trust me." I said seriously. He looked at me and all he could do was nod before he turned his back to me and ran down the stairs, down the hall and towards the front door. I turned my head to face the door, turned the knob and pushed the door open…it wasn't until I heard the front door close that I collapsed on the floor.
"I'm supposed to be a soldier…I can't lose my composure…not now…" I whispered to myself as I felt hot tears run down my cheeks. I began to crawl to my bed and midway just stopped giving up…why am I so fucking weak?...I'm useless!...
Hitsugaya POV
"I was there the day he was getting sentenced…all I could do was stare at him…but he never looked at me…not once during the whole sentencing…and I began to feel s-s-sorry for him…and then I didn't and just wished he would fucking die…and then he looked at me and that motherfucker smiled at me…I wished that I had a gun to blow his fucking face off but I couldn't because I had…I had…I had her by my side…she helped me through it…" I said as I continued to stare at the ceiling.
"Who is this she?"
"She was a close friend of mine…" I said as I closed my eyes and shut them tightly.
"Was? What happened?"
"I loved her so much…and I still do…I will give an arm for her…not the expression literally give my arm for her…she knew she was my light…and I was her armor and I would fucking destroy anyone who would try to harm her…but karma and fate turned against us…they bit me in the ass, and everything that I stood for turned on me in spite of me…and I became the main source of her pain…if only I could go back in time…" I said as I felt my first tears in years fall from the sides of my face.
"She saved you from being killed, and still works with yo-"
"She used to." I interrupted Dr Kasumi. "Sorry."
"That's fine. Explain."
"She hates me…but I just can't stay here and wallow…I've got to tell her…that I need her, that I'm sorry." I said as I sat up on my bed, and wiped the corners of my eyes with my thumbs.
"Now may not be the best time…she just got out of the hospital du-"
"The hospital?" I interrupted Dr Kasumi as I stared at her shocked.
"Yes, it's due to immense amounts of stress."
"It's all my fucking fault." I said seriously.
"No it's no-"
"YES IT FUCKING IS!" I yelled, pausing shortly afterwards and staring at the doctor. I slowly took off the sheets from my legs, pulled my legs towards the right side of the bed and slowly jumped off my bed grabbing the I.V. fluid pole as I began to pace around the room. "I was there…I was upset…I couldn't stand the fact of watching her leave me…so I t-threatened her…in order to make her stay…" I said as I continued to pace.
"But that only caused more separation between you two." Dr Kasumi finished as she watched me pace around the room. "It's best that you leave her alone."
"WHAT?" I yelled loudly as I looked at Dr Kasumi as if she had gone crazy.
"At this point in your relationship, it's best that you leave the wounds to heal with time…there's unfortunately nothing you can do to make the situation better, and I think that if you were to visit her and tell her in person that you're sorry it might make matters worse and end up risking further injury on her part." She replied seriously as she looked down on her clipboard picked it up with her right arm and stood up. "At this point it's also time for you to heal Dr Hitsugaya." She said before looking into my eyes and walking out the door along with her help.
Karin POV
'Lately I've been hard to reach…I've been too long on my own…' I heard a familiar voice say.
'Toshiro!' I screamed as I opened my eyes and realized I was in a white room. I looked down and noticed I was barefoot, wearing a white hospital gown, and my hair was loose.
'Are you calling me?' I heard him say.
'Yes!' I answered loudly as I began to walk around the room and feel on every wall as I tried to find an exit. 'Toshiro where are you?' I said loudly as I became frantic.
'Are you reaching out for me?' He asked.
'Yes!' I said as I walked to the middle of the room and began to look for a door.
'I'm reaching out for you.' He said as I felt hot breath on my right ear. When I turned around there he was…but he looked different than before…he was wearing the same thing but it was his face…he looked tired…
'Toshiro.' I said as I held him into a tight hug. 'I'm-'
'Don't explain yourself." He said as he hugged me tighter while stroking my hair. 'I've been the one who's been hard to follow.' With that I was suddenly hugging the air, I looked around and saw no sign of him. I began to run around in circles and touch all the walls of the room.
'TOSHIRO! PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME! TOSHIRO!' I screamed as I even began to feel the floor in hopes of finding some type of door that lead to him.
"TOSHIRO!" I screamed as I sat up on the floor. I looked around and saw that my entire room was still dark…with no sign of life…I tried to stand up by getting on all fours but failed miserably hitting my knees hard…I had to get up…I crawled up to my nightstand and grabbed it's corner using it as support, after I finally succeeded I looked at my alarm clock…it was 10:30pm…
"Toshiro, where are you?" I asked myself as I felt hot tears run down my cold face…I just stood there staring at the clock and at an impossible possibility…
I dedicate this chapter to reader who really wanted to help. And eventhough I didn't used his/her advice, I still got the inspiration to write this chapter thanks to this reader. So, Moon Of Jupiter this chapter goes to you! =P
I would also thank meggi-moo s, Tobiyuki, , Sayo-chan64, Turtle-chan in Blue, and Anuhit for commenting hours after I updated. You guys are REALLY dedicated! and eventhough I never reply to reviews anymore I would like to thank you! I would also like thank all the other readers who weren't mentioned but whose deed of reading this story never goes unappreciated.
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