Dean had found a candle making station in the men of letters spell ingredients section and made some lavender candles for his room.

It wasn't really the highlight of his life but when a men of letters book suggests they are relaxing…well.

Now dean had considered going to the store for them, but then he would have to sneak them in, and dean felt like his brother Sam had enough fuel at the moment.

Dean had figured that maybe if caught he could claim some obscure location spell for a book the men of letters had hid in the walls somewhere. Dean had avoided using a block of wax that said soponification, and in quotations had said grave wax it smelled just wrong like smelling dry bacon through moldy dirt. They were supposed to be relaxing, the lavender candles, but the salt he had put in as a afterthought made the wick spark and pop randomly.

He considered for a moment if he was going to live beyond a normal life bound to existence by the mark would he given time become a powerful magician fueled by the knowledge of the men of letters?

What would he do as man or demon with the power? Probably free booze and women. Dean imagined he would not want to be ruler of man, demon or spiritual intrinsic. Too much paperwork, propaganda and upkeep. Crowley had waxed endlessly about proper file storage one drunken diatribe. Boring.

He would just flit from bar to bar raising minimum hell and leaving shaking women in his wake. Learning how to flit through dimensions better and calling Crowley every ten minutes for pointers, maybe visit some friends in hell, heaven, and purgatory.

He could meet famous dead! Dean thought for a moment on that, was Elvis a citizen of hell? Deans mind wandered on though at length Dean wanted to fly, maybe he would gain himself a chimeric pair from some of the shamanistic spells just to chase Cas around the local dimensions, dean smiled to himself imagining a interdimensional game of tag.

Maybe he could get himself a blowjob and a fuck on the great wall of china, his eyes black and Cas's glowing with a look of annoyance, there wings touching. Dean highly suspected the angel now fully powered would win the game and dean would be the one blowing the angel, maybe on the side of Micu Pichu.

Dean was almost disappointed in his lack of vision and tried to imagine his greatest possibility, maybe he could dip into generative alchemy and birth the angels back from the dead using there remaining grace as a template, but where would he get the blood and sacrifice needed for that?

Maybe dean could get into the meat business and designate every pig or cow going through the slaughterhouse to the spell with sigils on the abattoir floor, or get into politics and suck all the energy from souls in a battlefield. Something with good public backing and a overall noble cause.

The spell would probably not effect the quality of the meat from the slaughterhouse and he could upkeep a healthy profit margin employing the ever intelligent Charlie to handle bookkeeping and public relations.

Himself though out of the convention and more on the demon side would have literally made friends in high places. They would be beholden to him for restoring them to life, so much more apt to look the other way.

Dean thought to himself, sulfur was not the most pleasant smell, maybe he would research into basic glamour magic to make his demonic musk more appealing, but then his personality had easily won him into the pants of women even with the light undertone of egg farts.

Maybe make the philosophers' stone and keep Sam immortal and chasing deans tail in circles until they found a cure for the mark, dean was sure the men of letters would have info on that if it existed.

Or he could make his brother a 'knight of hell' as well. How difficult was it for Cain to create Abidon?

Maybe if dean shot himself lit himself on fire first and did it in a slowly sinking boat himself in a tub of thermite, and the boat itself in fast moving water that would scatter his ashes…. he would be a kind of dead that the mark would not cure. But where does one buy thermite without proper licensure, how to fake the licensure…contractors might use thermite right? Dean put his headphones in and glass animals, cocoa hooves played and dean drifted off to sleep, relaxed in a vague kind of way by having something to do tomorrow, research of all things.

But as his mind was on the topic of books his eyes opened from the edge of sleep and he remembered the book Sam had held, its whispers. Alone in his room dean smiled with a little mischief then controlled his face and turned into the pillow, maybe that kind of stuff wasn't for him…. Or maybe, maybe it really was his cup of tea and that was just as dangerous.

Eh one thing at a time, one day at a time. Dean did not sleep really but felt rested when the sun rose.

Dean found himself the next day cleaning his car again, the pollen everywhere had settled on his baby and it irritated him the idea of a region-wide bukkake. Tree sperm all over his car, why had Cas informed him of the sexuality of plants?

It made his occasional allergy problem more annoying by too much info. Dean looked around him to make sure he was alone and addressed a nearby pine "whooore!" dean bared his teeth at it. The world potentially at his twitching fingers but for his restraint on the side of good behavior and his car was being molested by it.

"Dean you know life is not just the sum of its parts but the experience you derive from it, at least as far as I can tell. Though very rarely does perception change reality." Cas had straightened up and settled eyes on the burger dean was eating.

"For example dean that burger is merely a sum of worldly parts. The bread is the ground up ovary and embryo of the wheat plant, chemically and dynamically changed by yeast a single celled organism…

the thing that made the bread rise in the first place was basically the organisms farting. Then cooked all the organisms died, probably with speed"

"The cheese is really just artfully bad milk, clotted with rennet the stomach acid of a baby cow… and the meat, the ground up remnants from the factory. The tomato the womb and seeds within the embryo of a plant evolved to be eaten as to spread its seed and progeny in the dung of grazing and flying beasts"

Dean had set his burger down, and turned a bit pale. But cas wasn't one to pick up on subtlety. "but your tongue and mind enjoys the experience derived of parts you don't need to know all of to do so" dean swallowed and considered his burger, rolled his shoulders and said to it

"aw don't listen to the mean man I *munch bite* you anyway" Dean swallowed and looked at the deep in thought angel with a smile and challenge in his eye. A gritting annoyance and anger had been deans undertone all day ala the mark. Dean was openly trying to fake good-natured today.

"but then you as a species evolved to have these perceptions so is perception as life is bound to also inherently tasked? More one dimensional out of good synergy?" cas pondered to dean

"hey can we not pick apart the universe while I'm eating?" dean said a little squeakily dean cleared his throat. Thinking of shoving his fist in the angels mouth and asking how that tasted.

"gives me indigestion" cas seemed to ponder that as well and dean rolled his eyes got up to eat in his room apart from the apparently today patron angel of nausea. "gonna eat in my room alone" dean said

"catch you later" and gave the angels shoulder a pat as he passed dean backed up as a after thought and leaned down to sniff at the angel. "cas, does weed effect you as a recharged angel?" cas looked back at dean with hard eyes. The eyes themselves dean noted were not looking him in the eye. Dean frowned back, "cas … for you especially…."

dean involuntarily flashed to post apocalypse scenario Cas's blissed blank eyes. Dean flicked Cas's nose "naughty cas…no" Cas looked all violent potential for a moment and dean who had been smiling vaguely stood up and ready…mostly to run. But the part of him held in the mark was excited. Cas looked off to the side

"its been rough month" dean flashed angrily in his head but his voice came out calm "cas I don't want to see you dealing like that, hell I don't like seeing me deal like that." a grumpy uprising swirled in dean "can you even get liver failure now? Because if not that's… not fair either" dean was not one to lecture on coping mechanisms and chewed his lip in worry before shrugging and heading to his room with his plate.

Passing Sam in the hallway dean smiled "I think cas stole your stash" dean smiled through a bite of his burger as Sam halted and looked surprised and then denial flashed by followed by bummed. "I was saving that for a day off" dean swallowed eyebrow up " we never have a day off sparkles" Sam looked back cogs in his head going visibly.

Cas for his part got up and walked outside where he leaned on a tree smoking what was certainly enough to sedate a bull elephant. Cas had left Sam some money of course, but had cleared out the car, the men of letters spell supply and sams room.

Not skilled and not one to ask right now cas had it all stuffed into a glass tube he had found among the alchemy supplies, from one end to the other stuffed the tube was sucked to ash by stronger than human will imposed on lungs barely capable of taking in all of it in one long unnatural drag.

Cas needed a escape, and the Winchesters were a bad influence, his wings were still broke and keeping secrets from dean… Cas wanted to fly to anywhere else but he lived here bound in flesh and bone Cas was helpless to run.

Cas shivered bodily as his flesh was torn with want to have any real air, and getting rid of whatever poor substitute this in his lungs was. Singularity of will that cas knew he was capable of kept his mouth shut, though his ribs shook and the glass tube fell unnoticed from his hand, cas was beginning to see spots and exhaled and slid down the tree bonelessly after the exertion.

Cas sniffed his shirt and wrinkled his nose and with a wave the offending smell was off of him. Cas put his hands on his knees sitting back against the tree, relatively bummed that apparently, no, this stuff did not effect him. The small amount earlier had done nothing either. Cas coughed a few times, stood up and decided to go for a walk.

He got four steps before the world tilted sideways. Cas woke to himself two hours later, on a hammock made of clover, a wreath of flowers knitted into his hair, moss rings on and necklaces made of ivy. A young nymph sat humming to herself a few feet away knitting another necklace. " where am I?" cas looked around "who are you?" the nymph turned to look at cas a she giggled and got up, pinched his cheek and put the necklace on his neck. She was naked and Cas found her grabbing his hand and putting it on her breast.

Cas looked back alarmed and took in his necklaces, "I'm already taken!" Without a word but a sorrowful look that portrayed 'that's a shame' she walked into a tree disappearing a upturn to her nose and Cas noticed after she had ripped the necklace off him before leaving. Cas took a further hour to get back to the bunker as he had no real idea where he was, and was not going to even attempt to explain to Sam or dean. Cas punched a tree nearby in frustration, which only made his hands hurt which only made him angrier and when his hands were numb except for pain, Cas slid down and sat by the tree realizing how helpless he was at the moment to either escape or do anything useful really. Maybe he would go for a walk? Maybe he should work on his physique? Take up knitting? Cas sighed trying to think of a constructive distraction. Cas didn't want to hunt today either.

…

Dean later had caught over the angels shoulder him looking up parenting basics on his laptop, a worried line on his brow. Dean would have commented but he didn't want the underlying nature of his beer picked apart. Dean looked at his beer…. Tastefully rancid wheat and barley. Dean cussed to himself all the way to his room, slammed the door and lie back on his bed. Maybe he should spar with his brother on pretext of keeping him sharp? Was dean too old to take up parkour?

Something to do… Dean left his room to pick a fight with his brother…spar dean corrected himself.

Then dean thought better of it, his self control was waning. Maybe there was such a thing as a underground fight club for the supernaturally gifted he could use a fight he would not fear himself getting out of hand, something in a cage that could be locked from the outside. Dean flipped his phone open and dialed Crowley.

Dean was sure his overly scented candle in his room would dissipate the sulfur smell of flashing between dimensional space ala demon transport, he needed to get out and arm deep in something screaming and snarling. Today was a bad day.

Crowley looked at the phone number id and considered not answering. But sighed and answered.

" I need violence and bloodshed, you can watch if you want" Crowley inhaled still trying to come up with a clever greeting as the words filtered past his brain. Dean knew just what to say didn't he? "straightforward much dean?" Crowley let a calming pause for himself stretch " you know something could be said for subtly and subterfuge" dean growled over the phone in frustration

" not from me"

Dean found himself in a prison, Crowley walked him past cells a thoughtful quirk on his brow as he walked down the hall. As they paused a cell where the resident looked up at dean and Crowley and as his eyes settled on dean he started screaming. "no, anything but that! I will not be corrupted!" Crowley looked surprised, and grabbed deans arm making him walk a distance onward. Dean looked confused "corrupted?" dean looked over at Crowley

Crowley looked deep in thought.

"this is one of the last angel captives I have. I suppose he is talking about the perceived notion you corrupted castile. he is too valuable to throw to your meat grinder but maybe you could scare him a bit? Maybe rattle something new out of him?"

dean was silent for a while several potential deluges of words angry or questioning flickering across his face so readable Crowley had to look away to keep from giggling.

Dean sighed a exasperated note of fuck it in there "after I get a little relaxed, don't trust myself right now I'd gut him just to see how much damage his body could take as a angel before he'd die" dean looked at Crowley piercingly "and you will owe me" Crowley positively lit up but remained silent and nodded sincerely.

Dean paused at a cell that seemed to contain just two white eyes in a swirling black mist, it was looking at him "hey ssssexnessss are you my conjical visit tonight?" it hissed and twirled its darkness within the cell, a approximation of a hand formed an beckoned with a index finger come hither dean smiled and stepped up to the bars " only if I get to be on top" Crowley took in the interaction " dean this is a child of Io and [Crowley air quotation] Zeus, and while sex with a mostly vaporous form can be fun in its own way I can tell you that he/she/it provides a disappointing lack of friction.

Whether from overuse or just from the nature of the beast I'm not sure" the darkness condensed into a smoky ill defined human shape which flicked Crowley off. Dean laughed and continued following Crowley who had walked off. Crowley stopped in front of a cell in which was a huge man shaking and growling inhumanly deep.

"if this doesn't kill you then it aught to get the violence out of your system" Crowley considered the thing now roaring at him straining against its chains its face elongated and teeth sprouted in every available orifice of its mouth. Deans looked at the snarling thing grow a tail and claws a thrill of excitement making his teeth hurt even as in some distant part of him dragged the words to his lips "what the hell is that?!"

" a hybrid, a failed experiment in crossbreeding, not good pets, not good solders." Crowley caught the following sentence shut in his teeth [kind of like your brother a failed experiment] dean was zeroed in on the beast his whole body thrumming with a hunger only accented by the growling that dean himself was unaware was being answered by himself in a unheard but by Crowley in his throat, deans lips drawn back from his teeth in a echo of smile and plain bearing of them, a separation between top and bottom teeth forming.

Crowley took a step back as dean put both hands on he bars and leaned in still focused on the beast dean gripped the bars to white knuckle and with plain lust leaned his forehead against the bars. Dean turned to Crowley who could not help the trill of fear in him, though it did not reach his face "Crowley you are awesome"

Crowley straightened his handkerchief pocket and smiled "well I thought chocolates or flowers but then…" the quip was lost on dean who had once again zeroed in on the beast who now was worked up enough to be straining against its neck chain to a choking slobbering wheeze between snapping teeth.

"Let me in" dean said suddenly holding a small knife Crowley wondered where it was stored. One of the first things that dean had done when he got here was to disarm. "Whoa guys calm down don't blow your load just yet." Crowley handed dean a pair of brass knuckles and indicating he wanted the knife. "well now dean you wanted to get it out of your system and we all know you could kill a elephant with a pocketknife"

dean would have said something but the beast in the cage roared and the hair on deans neck stood up and he glaze eyed just handed over his knife and took the knuckles. Crowley snapped and the intercom of the prison crackled and Crowley's voice came on " attention beloved residence please back away from your hallway doors and enjoy the show. The management is not responsible for loss of limb, tentacle, genitillia or life due to non-compliance"

Crowley looked in thought for a moment and drowning pool- bodies started playing over the intercom "I know how you love mood music dean" Crowley snapped and was gone.

As well as the bars and chains on the animal who had crashed into deans side and pushed him bodily into the other side of the wall. All passion and no skill in its frantic need for contact with deans body the beast merely slammed him against the wall no tooth or claw, and dean for his part had dropped one of the brass knuckles in surprise but the other one found it on his hand before he could think as the beast opened its maw and went for deans arm which dean let the beast think it had closing tooth into his arm and bracing its back even before it had its jaws clenched around it for a bodily ripping shake at the final gripping between teeth deans hand was already halfway to a hit to the beasts eyeball with his other hand.

Dean relished the contact even as it ripped at his skin punching the beast on his arm. The beast curled a clawed arm to itself and shot out sinking sharp fingers into deans side dean growled and leaned into the fur of the beast biting at the available shoulder. Both the beast and dean made eye contact across the distance between each other, and both smiled in their own way.

The beast shoved dean back into the hallway and stood on all fours and stalked forward, wanting dean to run down the hallway. Dean for his part reflected the idea. The beast hesitated for a moment. Took in deans smile and fled. Loaping the beast whimpered like a struck dog down the hallway dean followed at a canter that alone in a field may have looked like a happy man enjoying the sunlight and optimism of a good day.

The beast saw a wall at the end of the hall and slowed slightly looking back at dean right behind it. The person in the last cell if asked would have said the beast smiled. As it reached the wall it put its once hands on it using its momentum it turned into the wall and jumped back the other direction, into dean. Its throat at deans eyelevel it opened its jaws ready to tear deans face and neck apart.

Dean instinctively threw his hands up to protect his face but then reached out and met the beasts maw with a closed fist shoving the other down its throat, the surprised creature was just registering what had happened and gagged as dean reached further down and clawed for purchase, something to grab and rip out. Scrabbling against time between surprise and thought in the beast before it figured to bite and rip rather than wide eyed try to process and flee deans blunt fingers scraped against smooth slick flesh finding no good hold inside of the animal.

Deans face a grim concentration his jaw set. The beast vomited on deans arm and backed away from dean a bloody trail and coughing wheeze it scraped the floor by way of threat. Dean was admiring something in his hand a tube, probably part of the beasts esophagus. " you've got guts, ill give you that" dean threw the meat at the beast.

And with the one brass knuckle he still had he went to town on the things head it was dazed by the first hit and dead by the third but dean wasn't done until he had ripped the things heart out in flury of bloodlust and ate it, pulling slick meat from twitching flesh a senew from the upper heart got stuck in deans teeth. Dean went from cell to cell offering up hunks of the beasts flesh to any takers and watching the occupants enjoy it with a rapt attention. Picking at the hard bits of senew between his teeth dean enjoyed the way the occupents enjoyed by empathy.

Dragging the beasts corpse until there was nothing left of it but the tail with which dean found himself hitting on a cute short slightly green woman " when's the last time you had a piece of tail hmmm?". Crowley who had been hanging around just outside of dimension popped back in as dean had started to in Ernest molest one of the more impressionable prisoners through the bars. "dean that dryad must stay a virgin to be useful in my spells"

"also would you want your first time to be through bars?" Crowley put up a hand not wanting to look at dean about that answer, the man had his dick out. "never mind I don't want to know" Crowley heard a sigh and a zipper "maybe next time, sweettits"

Crowley snapped and dean found himself in front of a angel tied to a wall, dean himself was a terrifying sight covered in blood and smelling of a slaughterhouse, vomit and a dash of sex. The angel was gasping in and out a scream that came out a series of huffed squeaks as he took in each new detail and each deserved its own scream but his brain could not keep up with the incoming info.

The angel looked away from the mans face too terrified to note its gleaming eyes when he looked down at his chest the muscles there taught and the shirt, or what was left of it, soaked in blood the angel looked lower and noted the man was hard and the angel closed his eyes and whimpered. Dean looked down at himself and realized what made the angel close its eyes and whimper defeatedly and laughed hysterically.

Dean calmed himself and decided to test his calm and relief to see how far it went. Dean walked to the angel which just started screaming open mouthed. Dean stopped and put out a arm palm down and tried to convey a calm body language. The angel twitched visibly with each step dean took toward it. Dean put a hand on the angels shoulder "its ok" caught the angels eye "calm down a little".

the thing was shaking and his pupils tiny dots. Dean took a moment to evaluate "Crowley bring me 2 gallons of whisky" Crowley looked like he was going to make a quip but was cut short by the cold in deans eyes and with a snap was gone and back. the angel widened its eyes "don't set me on fire!" dean smiled a little "no, your going to get lit just not on fire"

Dean found himself pouring glass after glass of the stuff down a funnel into a incredibly panicky angel murmuring for the thing to embrace the relaxation in it. The first few glasses had been a fight against terror, but as dean had wanted and expected Crowley could not take the irritation of watching dean calmly argue with a angel who looked about to piss itself.

Crowley had punched the angel in the nuts and shoved a stick in the things open mouth and poured two glasses in. dean quirked a brow, took the bugger long enough to figure out he was playing bad cop.

It took all of 40 minutes for the angel to slump against the wall it was pinned to and barf. Dean looked back at the impressive amount of empty jugs and nodded in appreciation. Dean stepped up to the marinated angel and lifted its head by chin and hair "you still with me?" the angel took a damn long time focusing and dean smiled, careful to not let it be predatory.

"now isn't that better?" dean sat down and poured himself a glass and took a shot, and for a further 30ish minutes just talked to the angel, answering the angel back when it asked something. Only once or twice did the angel ask something sluringly that dean said he did not want to answer in front of Crowley. Crowley himself ended up in another chair in the room and conversated as well. But deans mind was not on the conversation, it was on smiling at the right time, and keeping his face open and honest whenever the angel lifted its head.

Dean was unsure if the was dancing the thread between really drunk and unconseous on the angel and though he did not want to overplay his hand he did not want to have a unconseous subject. honestly dean did not want to invest anymore into this than today. Dean got up and walked to the angel who started when he got near, dean rested his hands on the angels shoulder and took in the eyes, pupils open, twitching open and inward slightly in hope and fear.

"I'm not going to hurt you" dean wound a arm behind the angels back and leaned flush to it, and dean raised a brow knowing he would see it and seeing it were different things. There was a blush starting at the drunken angels ears.

Dean waited a moment leaned down to ask of the ear in a voice and tone that had once gotten Cas to show them, being sure to throw honesty in there so the angel would not hear lie. "I want to see your wings" dean amended "I wont hurt them" the angel twitched against the wall face a drunken aghast, dean murmured

"there is no harm in this little thing, and honestly a little break from Crowley's thugs slathering your insides around the room is nice. I'm trying to help you out here"

It took surprisingly little further coaxing, a finger trailing down the angels neck..

Dean ran his hands through the feathers Crowley noted the closed eyes spoke volumes unsaid of deans mindset, dean felt through the feathers a warmth and fear shaking them dean was searching in the panic flowing out of the angel for a opening into the things conseousness, a weak point. A obvious complexity of passing color waved to deans mind as he had let the energy communicate through his hands he had learned to decipher only slightly by trial and error with Cas.

This was a poor communication between non compatible computers, unfamiliar lands and dean had no map for this being. Having not been on the giving side of this type of exploration in anything but dreamworld dean found his ability to do so with ease to something separate and unconnected to Cas a bit unnerving.

The angel was burning his hands a little, dean was sure the thing was concentrating on maintaining them in form. Dean knew that the angel would not open up its weaknesses or unabated conseous to a terrifying stranger and leaned into the angels shoulder, closing the distance between them "its going to be ok" dean whispered, and sure enough hope, fear and confusion chased openly on the open face of this too innocent beast.

No wonder Crowley had kept this one, the face alone did not tell all of the story as dean felt the emotion across his palms tangible ringing across feathers a weakness he felt with it he could rend the creature and dean pulled his hand away and walked to Crowley a hand covering his jaw and holding his mouth shut.

The angels energy looking for comfort had swirled in hope against deans hand. As plain as anything even if the beast did not know it, it was wanting to trust dean. Dean suddenly tasted the blood on his mouth, and trotted past Crowley to heave up the heart of the beast resting against the wall dean panted and hurled till empty. Disgusted commentary was rambling from Crowley. This wasn't fun anymore. "sorry Crowley I'm not dark side enough for this game" dean gritted the finality of the statement the edge lost in empty gagging.

Later and several more drinks in a bar somewhere in Hampton V.A. [Crowley said he liked the irony in the 666 area code] Dean looked at Crowley and put his arm around the demons shoulder. "You know what I like about what we have? I don't have to hold back anything." dean smiled ruefully " I don't mind hurting you" dean slumped into the hug "… and not being afraid to is such a fucking relief you know" dean slurred something unintelligible but wrought with emotion his glazed eyes gleaming drunkenly… then dean burped.

Crowley's eyes softened for a moment then he wrinkled his nose at the burp and disentangled himself from the beast dean waving a hand in air. "dean you're a sappy drunk" dean reached up and squeezed Crowley's chubby cheek between thumb and forefinger. "nuaaa, your awesome" dean drunkenly reported.