AN: Sorry this has taken ages to upload! I have seriously fallen in love with this story and I have a few ideas as to where it's going to go, although I'm not sure how long it will be! Reviews and comments are welcome! I have never published anything I've written before, so this is very new to me! Thank you for the lovely comments and reviews so far! I will try and update once a week/every two weeks from now on. Massive shoutout to rosehathawhey on here - thank you for your invaluable help and support! You're amazing!
Her room looked pretty much the same as she left it, and it looked like Maggie had been keeping it clean. The sun was streaming in through windows, and Beth could see the dust motes floating in the air. After leaning her bag against the bed frame, she knelt on the window seat and threw open the sash windows. The air wasn't exactly cool, but it was fresh, and soon the dusty smell would be gone.
Beth sat and faced her room, the pale yellow walls were covered in posters of her favourite musicians, notice boards with more photographs of family and friends crammed on. Shelves full of books and records. The bed had been stripped but everything else was in it's place, except for the corner by her bed. That was where she had kept her guitar, leaning against the wall by her wardrobe door. She had taken it on her tour of duty, but it disappeared during the attack; Beth presumed it had been blasted into matchwood.
She stood up and threw her cap onto the bed before stripping off her fatigues. Just as she was stepping out of her pants, Beth caught sight of herself in the full length mirror, and froze. She hadn't really seen her full reflection for a while, the mirrors on her ward hadn't been big enough.
Beth straightened up, and went to stand right in front of the mirror. Although she had always been petite and slim, in recent years, Beth had worked hard on her personal fitness, and her small body had become strong, lean and muscular. The person reflected back at her now looked entirely different. Her white underwear hung off her hips and shoulders, a size too big at least, and faint ghosts of bruises could be seen here and there. Taking her hair out of the low bun it was in, Beth felt around the back of her head for the fourth scar she knew was there; a round, hairless notch on her scalp. She shuddered, and pulled her hand away. She could remember the doctors marvelling at her recovery, how lucky she was to be alive, they said she was a miracle. Looking around, Beth didn't feel like a miracle, she felt like a ghost; half of her felt like she belonged here, the other half just felt lost.
Turning away from the mirror, she strode over to her bag and pulled out a large washbag, and made her way into the bathroom. Beth put her blue toothbrush back in the glass on shelf, unpacked her facewash and moisturisers, a special cream used to minimise scarring, and finally, placed several orange containers of pills in the cabinet above the sink. Paroxetine, prazosin, ibuprofen, all designed to keep away some kind of pain or other. Beth popped open the container of paroxetine, and took one tablet, cupping some water from the tap to swallow it down with. Closing the cabinet, she caught sight of her pale face in the mirror, adorned with pink scars, and her heart sank. Every time she saw her reflection, the evidence of her fight for life would always be staring back at her, reminding her of the ordeal. Beth forced a smile at herself. "You will get better," she told the blonde in the mirror.
After taking a quick shower, Beth rooted around in her wardrobe for something to wear. She slung on a pair of jeans and a vest top, and went to go downstairs. Just before she left her room, though, Beth caught her eye on a photo pinned to the noticeboard by her door. It was taken the evening of her senior prom, and Hershel had insisted on having a photo taken of them together before she left the house. He put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her in halfway to a hug. Beth had leaned right into his shoulder, and they were both beaming at the camera. A painful ache blossomed across her chest as she gazed at her father's happy face, the realisation that she would never speak to him again hitting her, and not for the first time. She wiped away the tears that had spilled down her cheeks, and made her way out the door.
"Yes, she got here by herself... No, I don't know. She seems okay... I feel nervous." Standing halfway down the staircase, Beth could hear Maggie talking to someone, obviously on the phone.
"I don't know how to be around her, Glenn. Can you please come home? I just... I'm scared. What if I say the wrong thing, and upset her, or she thinks I'm treating her differently? What if I do and I don't realise? I don't want that. I'm so pleased she's home, I don't want to scare her off or something."
Beth sighed, she wanted to tell Maggie not to worry, but she didn't know the answers to her sister's questions herself. So how could she comfort her?
"Okay, I'll see you in about an hour or so. Thank you, Glenn. Love you." The phone was clicked back into it's stand, and Beth waited a minute before coming down the rest of the stairs.
Beth walked back into the kitchen, startling her sister.
"Hey! Ready for some sandwiches?" Maggie exclaimed a little eagerly, grabbing the plates of food and rushing them over to the table.
After they had eaten, Maggie came up to Beth's room to help make her bed, and to sort through the rest of her bag.
"I called Glenn, he's coming home from work early, he's really pleased you're back!" Maggie said while stuffing a pillow into it's white case.
"Did you? That's nice... How is Glenn doing at work? It must be tough running a business and working here?" Beth asked, fighting with a pillow herself. She wanted to show Maggie she was making an effort, that she wanted to be home as much as her sister wanted her here.
"He's getting into a routine now, I think," Maggie said with a big smile. It was clear she was full of pride for her fiancé. "Glenn doesn't do any of the guided tours himself now, so he can run the business mainly from here. He only needs to go into Atlanta once a week, twice if something comes up. It's been a blessing, really, since Otis and Patricia retired."
"That's great, I'm glad things are going well. Maybe you'll find time to start arranging that wedding now I'm home." Beth smirked a little. It had been a year since Glenn proposed to Maggie and neither of them were any closer to setting a date. Maggie shook her head and laughed a little. She looked a lot more relaxed now, and Beth saw this as an opportunity.
"Hey Maggie, I was wondering... Do you think we could go to the cemetery today? I'd like to... Visit Daddy." She hugged the pillow to her with one arm, rubbed her head with her other hand, and looked earnestly at Maggie. "I need to go. I wasn't here, and I need to say goodbye." Beth could feel tears threatning to spill from her eyes, but blinked them away.
"Oh, Bethy. Of course we can go. I just... I don't think it's a good idea today," Maggie sighed as she sat on the bed. "I think it would be good for you to settle in a little bit first. Just today. We can go tomorrow. I don't want you to get overwhelmed. This is a big change for you, coming home, and you should take your time. You don't... You don't want to trigger anything..."
Beth felt a sting of irritation, but it dulled as she saw the expression on Maggie's face – pain. It was clear it hurt her to deny her sister. And, Beth had to admit to herself, she has a point. Going to her father's grave was going to be harrowing.
"Okay, tomorrow. Do you promise?" Beth hesistated, then held out her little finger. She hoped the gesture from when they were younger would show Maggie she was trying.
Maggie looked at Beth's hand, then met her eyes. She gave her little sister a sad smile, and linked her finger with Beth's.
"Tomorrow. We'll go and see Daddy together." she said in Beth's ear as she pulled her in for a hug, their linked fingers coccooned by their bodies.
As they pulled apart, they heard the sound of a truck pull up outside. "Oh, Glenn's back!" Maggie stood up and squeezed Beth's hand before letting go. "You come down when you're ready, okay?"
Beth nodded, and watched Maggie leave the room. She sat for a moment, inhaling a couple of deep breaths, before heading downstairs herself to greet Glenn.
The sun was low in the sky as Beth sat on the porch lacing up her running shoes. She had told Maggie and Glenn she wanted to take a run before dinner, and they had been reluctant to let her go alone. Beth had reassured them she wouldn't be going past the farm's boundary, and had felt the impatience boil up inside her that they didn't trust her to leave the house alone. She knew the fields and woods here like the back of her hand, she had grown up here. Besides, she'd gotten home fine, hadn't she? The doctors at Fort Benning were happy for her to go home and lead a normal life. Her superiors had given her an honorable discharge. Everyone, it seemed, had faith in her except her own family. Beth ran her fingers through her hair in frustration, before pulling it up into a ponytail. They're just looking out for you, she reminded herself. They care about you.
Beth stretched out her arms and legs, before taking off at a light jog. She kept close to the edge of the woods, her pace quickening as she pushed her body out of it's comfort zone, and her heavy breathing drowning out the sound of the cicadas.
As she ran, she thought about how Maggie and Glenn had been mollycoddling her all afternoon. Getting her drinks, making sure she was comfortable... It was in their nature to be protective, but she was going to go mad if it carried on.
After a while, Beth slowed to walk; her heart was beating so fast she was sure it was about to explode. Her legs felt weak, her muscles ached, and her lungs were screaming for air. She put her hands on her hips, inhaled deeply and let out a short bark of a laugh. Her earlier frustration had gone, and Beth now felt lighter than she had all day, since she got off that bus.
Looking around, she realised she had made her way to the most western side of the farm. She turned her back to the sun and began to head back the way she came. Suddenly, Beth heard a rustling in the trees to her right.
"Hey! Don't y'know this is private property?!" A gravelly voice shouted from just inside the woods.
"Shit!" she breathed, panicked, her stomach lurching. She knew that voice, and the person it came from, very well.
Beth stopped walking, just as a tall figure strode out of the tree line, his hand shielding his eyes from the setting sun.
"Didn' you hear me? Who the fuck do you..." The man stopped suddenly. His hand dropped to his side, and his breathing became heavier as he came to the realisation of who was standing in front of him.
In a matter of seconds, Beth had taken him in. From the crossbow slung across his shoulder, to the tanned, muscular arms covered in a sheen of sweat. His dark hair fell across his eyes as he squinted towards her; it was longer than she remembered. He wore a sleeveless plaid shirt, with a black leather vest, just like he always did. Beth's mouth went dry as a wave of memories hit her, ones she had locked away for two years. She wasn't ready for this.
They stood staring at each other for a minute, neither making a move toward the other. Then, he found his voice.
"You're back."