A/N: Wow. It's been awhile, hasn't it? Many apologies for the long delay. Some of you have expressed concerns about the lack of Harry/Luna. Please be patient with me, dears. I'm trying to set everything up for the other pairings. Unfortunately, I'm rather new to writing other pairings so it's taking a bit to figure out how to get the relationships right. However, next chapter at the party should be filled with the earlier promised moments. Thank you for continuing to stick it out with me. And wish you and yours a very wonderful new year. And, yes, Scandal fans, this title is a reference to the formidable Olivia Pope. I've been watching a lot of it lately. Enjoy.

Return to the Sunshine

With Celes in his bathroom changing her clothes for the party, Toby found himself alone with Harry again. He had thought that the young man would have excused himself the moment Celes stated that they would still attend the party, but Harry didn't for some reason. So there they remained.

"Potter," Toby sighed finally, unable to take any more of the boy's loitering. His eyes darted to the young man. "Say what's on your mind and be done with it already. Will you?" He caught Harry's instant flinch and bit his cheek to keep from sighing yet again.

"Sorry. I, I'll just go."

Flicking his wand at the door, though, Toby prevented him from getting out of it that easily. "Talk, Harry." When the young man's shoulders slumped, he crossed his arms. "Unless you'd rather I test your Occlumency skills again and find out myself?" he drawled. "Entirely your choice."

"No. Uh, no, I . . ." Harry ran a hand through his messy hair before he hung his head. He then glanced hesitantly towards the bathroom door and sighed. "It's fine, sir."

"I sincerely doubt that, Potter. Now, out with it." He frowned when Harry gave him a rather pathetic 'Do I have to?' look. "Mr. Potter, now."

"All right. Fine. It's, well, it's ridiculous, but, um, I . . ." Harry then sighed before he started to pace about the room. "It's just, well, I've been talking to Madam Pomfrey a lot."

"And?"

The young man winced, his head lowering even further. "She seems to be under the impression that I, um, well, that I feel guilty about—"

"You did not kill anyone but the Dark Lord, Harry," he cut in, giving Harry a pointed look.

"No. I know that. It's not that, sir. It's, well, I—she thinks that the reason I can't deal with losing . . ." His voice trailed off for a moment before he inhaled sharply. "Ginny is because . . . because I, well, because I feel guilty for . . ." His head then snapped up as his eyes found Toby's. "I thought I loved her, you know? I thought she was the one. But . . I, I don't think she was."

Toby's eyes narrowed on the young man.

"I, I mean, I loved her, certainly. But . . . not the way I thought I did."

"You loved her like a friend?" Toby offered quietly.

"Yeah, maybe, I don't know. I guess, maybe more like a sister really." Harry then forced a harsh laugh. "Which is rather horrifying to think actually. I broke up with her before we went hunting for the Horcruxes," Harry admitted, leaning against the door for a moment. "At the time, I said it was to protect her. But, I mean, other than a few times I don't think I really . . . thought that much about her." His green eyes found Toby's again. "That sounds horrible, I know."

"It's fine." He shrugged. "You need to get this out. Clearly. So don't worry about the optics."

Harry gave him a faint smile and sighed. "I was lying to myself. Still am actually."

"Oh?"

"I wanted to love her, I think. Ginny, I mean. Because she was . . . we liked Quidditch. And . . ." Harry laughed quietly, shaking his head. "When I first met her in the summer before my second year, she was all sweet on me. She'd barely say a word, and I found it cute in a way. And after I saved her, she was . . . she cared for me. But back then, I wasn't interested. In fact, later when I was interested in girls, I cared for Cho instead."

Toby nodded slowly. He had noticed the boy's idiotic tendencies whenever the Ravenclaw was around. The whole staff had actually.

"And then Cedric happened . . . and reality sort of hit, I guess."

He wondered for a moment where Harry was going with all this.

"I'm not making much sense, am I?" Harry suddenly asked, looking entirely miserable.

"No, but continue. You'll tie it all together soon, I'd imagine."

Harry quietly laughed and nodded. His mood darkened soon after. "It's . . . sad, but I think she's right, though. Pomfrey I mean. I think I do feel guilty about Ginny. Not that she died, because I know I didn't kill her. Bellatrix did. But I, well, I dated her because I thought that's what I was supposed to do. That it was the acceptable thing to do. Not because I loved her."

"So, you feel guilty for not loving her like a girlfriend?"

"Yeah, maybe, I don't know." Harry then sighed. "It's weird, but I felt . . . I don't know . . . something more this year being around Luna than I ever did with Ginny."

"Ah." So that was what Harry was feeling guilty about.

"That makes me horrible, doesn't it?"

"No. Not any more than me moving on from your mother."

"Yeah, but you loved my mother."

Toby shrugged. "Or at least that's what I thought at the time." He gave the young man a soft smile. "Adolescents have a tendency to make rather rash and entirely emotionally charged decisions. Or so I'm told."

"So then that's all this could be, right?" Harry asked hopefully.

"That's all what could be?"

"Uh . . ." Harry glanced down again.

"Eloquent as usual, I see." He smirked when Harry's head snapped back up.

"This isn't easy, Snape."

"Things rarely are, Potter." He met Harry's challenging look and waited.

"You don't understand."

"Oh?" He crossed his arms once more. "I don't understand the need to feel guilt for wanting to move on and share my life with another woman after losing your mother? Really? I don't understand?" He raised an eyebrow when Harry glared at him. "Fascinating."

"It took you years, Snape."

"It did," he agreed with a shrug. "But I'm hardly one to model normal behavior after." He then sighed quietly. "Tell me, Harry. Are you confused by your feelings?"

"No. At least I don't think so."

"Then why are you fighting so hard against them?"

"Why am I . . . It hasn't even been a year since Ginny's death!"

"But you admitted it yourself, Mr. Potter, that you had moved on long before her death."

"What?" Harry blinked in clear confusion.

"You admitted to having not really thought that much about her while you were searching for the Horcruxes," he pointed out.

"Oh." He then scratched his head. "So, wait, are you saying that I . . . that—"

"You fell out of love with her, if you ever actually were, shortly after dating her, yes. You likely realized subconsciously that your reasons for dating her were unjustifiable."

"But . . ."

"Allow me to ask you this, Harry. Why do you believe you had to date Miss Weasley? That it was the expected and socially accepted thing to do?"

When he noticed the young man's eyes narrow, he knew he had asked the right question. He waited several moments for Harry to answer, but decided soon after watching the young man struggle for words to help him out even further.

"Everyone you met mentioned your parents at some point in time, I'd imagine."

"Yeah. But what's that got to do with it?"

"Everything, I'm afraid," he replied with a shrug. He shook his head when Harry continued looking rather confused. "Long flowing red hair? Brilliant at Potions and Charms? Dare I say it, fiery to the point of being downright scary when one she loves is being threatened?"

"Stop. Just stop it," Harry begged, his voice cracking slightly as he looked away rather ashamed. His arms came tightly around his midsection. "I remember what . . . what Ginny was like."

"Who said I was describing Miss Weasley, Mr. Potter?" When he caught Harry's sad eyes, he sighed quietly. "Your mother fit that description as well. We both know this."

Harry shook his head, though. "No. No. I . . . but that's . . ."

"I'm not claiming that you dated Miss Weasley because you were enamored by your mother," he stated flatly. "I am, however, suggesting the possibility that you dated her because of the . . . shall we say . . . optics of the relationship. A messy-haired, glasses-wearing Quidditch star reunited with his redheaded, brilliant and extremely kind loving witch?"

Harry's head fell forward and his shoulders slumped instantly.

"Everyone voiced their longings to have just one more moment with your parents. You were merely trying to give that to us, I'd imagine, sacrificing yourself in the process."

He let the silence fall around them for a few moments, knowing that if he went any farther he'd be pushing Harry off the emotional cliff he was on.

"So I dated her for everyone's happiness?"

"I don't know. Only you know your own heart, Harry."

More silence enveloped them, but Toby merely waited patiently.

"It's sort of funny," Harry quietly whispered, his hand coming up to run through his messy hair.

"Oh?"

"She was dating Dean at the time. And it'd upset me all the time to see him treat her so badly. Because she deserved better than that." The young Gryffindor then scoffed. "My first instinct was, well, it was I loved her like an older brother loves his little sister. I mean, we grew up together practically."

"But?"

"I don't know. I, we won the match and . . . I just kissed her. On the lips."

"I gathered that much, Potter."

"Yeah." Harry then sighed. "I wanted Ron to say something, I think. To stop it. But he didn't. So, I figured it was what I was supposed to do."

Toby pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head. Adolescents. They were known for being dense at times.

"Oh dear Merlin, I can't believe I'm going to ask this. But, did you enjoy the kiss at all?"

"I, um, I don't know. Everyone was so happy about us. I . . . I thought I liked her."

His hand came up and covered his eyes. They were going around in circles.

"No one is doubting that you didn't care for her at some point. However, like most adolescent relationships, one person moved on and left the other behind. You realized the truth, Harry. You just couldn't accept it then because of everyone else and their wants. So guilt built up inside until her death forced you to confront it head on for the first time."

"But doesn't that make me horrible?"

"For what? Realizing that you could no longer live a lie and continue the charade? No, Harry. That makes you human. But if you're referring instead to not giving much thought about her while hunting the Horcruxes, that hardly is damning either. You had bigger and more important things to worry about than your love life. Was her death a tragedy? Yes. However, continuing the lie for other people's benefits would be even more of a tragedy, Mr. Potter."

"So, then I should ask Luna out in your opinion."

Toby sighed and shook his head.

"I don't understand, sir."

"That's the problem. You're only looking for the ending, not what comes before it. Enjoy the present, Harry, the here and now. Whatever will happen will happen. Trust me."

"But-"

"Do you think I was looking for love after losing your mother? That I was looking for my second chance in life?" He raised a brow when Harry frowned. "I wasn't. I only cared about keeping you safe. That's it. I didn't even factor into the endgame, Harry. My happiness didn't matter."

"That's hardly inspiring, sir."

"It's not supposed to be. That's the point." He exhaled quietly. "You have a chance to live for yourself now. To be your own man. So, figure out who you are before you even think about anyone else. Because without that foundation, you will always find yourself in an unhappy situation, regretful of your decisions later in life."

"So, are you saying that-"

"He's saying, Harry, that you need to stop looking for the right answer," a soft voice said from the doorway.

Turning to look over there, Toby noticed that Celes had removed her blue streaks from her hair. In fact, she looked more like herself. Just younger. She was even wearing her traditional midnight blue robes that she clearly had shrunk to size. Their time as Toby and Celes was finally coming to an end.

"Because there is no right or wrong answer to it," Celes continued. "Whatever it is, only you are going to know it. No one else. And you likely won't even know it until long after you made the decision."

"Oh."

"Do you understand now?"

"Sort of. I guess." Harry scratched the top of his head and shrugged. "You're saying that if Luna's the woman I'm destined to be with, it'll happen regardless of whatever I do. So the best thing I can do is to just live my life and let things...happen when they happen."

Toby snorted. "Something like that, yes."

"Why are you even worried about something like that, Harry? You have the rest of your life to figure things out."

"I know, but..." Harry sighed. "If this experience has taught me one thing, it's that life is temporary. And I don't want to waste any time and miss anything."

"Do you care for Luna?" she asked suddenly, holding his look.

"Like a friend or...?"

"When she's away, do you miss her?"

"Yeah."

"And do you get angry when you find out that someone has hurt her?"

"Yes."

"And would you do anything to protect her, to keep her safe?"

"I would," Harry answered instantly.

"And if she was with another guy dancing tonight, would you be angry about that too?"

"Depends on the guy, I suppose," he said with a listless shrug.

"If it was Neville?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because they're just friends."

"But what if you came across him kissing her in the rose garden? Then what?"

Toby glanced at Celes and raised an eyebrow at her. He caught her faint smile instantly.

"I, I'd be upset."

"Oh?" She crossed her arms, meeting her husband's look. "Why?"

"Because it should've been me kissing her. Which is what I'm trying to say, Professor. What if while I'm waiting to figure things out with myself, someone else makes a move and I lose her as well?"

"Then don't be like Severus and punch the other man because of your unspoken jealousy."

Toby glared at her, shaking his head. "You're never going to forget that, are you?"

Harry blinked and glanced at both of them. "Wait. What?"

"During your Yule Ball, I went outside to get some fresh air," she explained, her tone light. "Karkoff followed me out. We spoke cordially to one another. And he kissed me. On the cheek, I might add. And Severus promptly strode across the courtyard and punched him."

Harry burst out laughing instantly.

"How was I to know that he kissed you on the cheek? You were both turned away from me," he groused.

"Karkoff refused to speak or be anywhere near me after that."

"The part she's bitter over, of course," he commented, waving his hand dramatically.

"I'm not bitter. You acted like a jealous arse. When there was no need to be. You knew perfectly well where I stood. So you had no right to act like that."

"I had every right to!" he replied frowning.

"Oh? How so?"

"You were consorting with a known Death Eater."

"And yet you overlook that when I'm 'consorting' with you, dear," she pointed out with a smirk.

Harry snickered quietly. "I can see why you two are married now." He then shook his head, still smiling faintly. "Though, you've made your points. I get it. I should just focus on me. But... she's been there more for me than anyone else." He nodded slowly, clearly making his mind up about something. "I'll see you guys later. There's something I have to do." He turned away and left soon after.

"He's going to ask her out, isn't he?"

"Likely," she answered with a soft laugh. "Adolescents rarely listen to their elders."

"Don't we know it?" he said sighing. "You removed your streaks."

"Yeah." She reached for his hand, taking it a moment later. "I'm glad we had the chance to get away from everything for a bit and just pretend we're everyday normal adolescents. But that's all it was. Pretend."

He nodded slowly, not wanting to interrupt her for even a moment.

"I'm sick of all the pretending, all the lying, all the wearing of masks. It was nice walking beside the man I love and not worrying what anyone thought for once, not hearing the doubts of others and their stupid remarks. Not having to justify and defend us."

"I'm sorry."

She forced a soft laugh. "I wasn't looking for an apology. And even if I was, you did nothing wrong." She then closed her eyes, the tension melting from her. "I'm ready to come back into the sunshine, to feel it on my face again."

"You never lost it."

She opened one eye and gave him that familiar look of hers. "Flatterer."

He shrugged. "Slytherin."

"A part of me still says we should run away. But it wouldn't solve anything."

"It wouldn't," he agreed. Silence fell around them.

"I'm tired of running, Severus," she said quietly after a few minutes had passed.

He gently wrapped his arms around her and held her silently. "As am I, Aurora." He kept holding her, offering every bit of strength he had to her. It was his turn to be the strong one for them this time.

"Let's go step into the sunlight, shall we?" They left soon afterwards for the party.