Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or Definitely, Maybe. Blah, blah, blah, blah!
Author's Note: Review! Review! Review! Review! ~Jackie
On Tuesday morning, I was so tired. I pressed snooze on my alarm at least five times, so when I finally got out of bed and entered the kitchen, Ava was already dressed and at the table, eating a bowl of cereal.
"Good morning," I said with a yawn.
"Morning Mom," Ava greeted. "You better hurry up and eat some breakfast or we'll both be late. And you might want to fix your hair. And put on some shoes."
I looked down at myself, realizing that my clothes were winkled and I had forgotten to put on some footwear. "Right," I groaned.
My morning didn't get any better when Ava and I got stuck in a traffic jam.
"Wonderful," I murmured under my breath sarcastically.
"Why don't you tell me some more of the story?" Ava asked. "That will get your mind off this,"
"Sure," I replied. "So, I went to New York City with Jesse…"
"Jesse, let me go!" I screamed, trying to pull away from him and head towards the ticket counter, but he had a hand on my arm. "Jesse, I want to go home!"
"Why?" He asked. "You have nothing to go back to there! You gave up everything to come and be with me! If you go back to Lima you won't have anything! You said goodbye to your friends, your schooling is now exclusively online, so why do you need to go back?"
"But…Finn," I found myself saying.
"What happened to him not deserving you?" Jesse questioned. "You said you wouldn't go back to him. I think this time you need to find someone just as theatrical and overbearing as you,"
"Like you?" I retorted, not angrily like I meant it though. My voice was small, weak like a little child's.
"Yes," He confessed. "I told you Rachel, I still love-"
I cut him off with a kiss. "Me too," I admitted, feeling the warm sensation of Jesse St. James's lips still lingering on my own.
"You're too good for me," Jesse said. "We're not…we're not…"
But when I kissed him again, he didn't object.
"You and Jesse got back together?" Ava asked me.
"Kind of," I answered. "We were sort of…friends who sometimes made out."
"Like friends with benefits?"
"Ava!" I gasped. How did my eleven year old know what that meant? But, I decided to just answer the question, lest she get suspicious. "We were…friends with minimal benefits."
"Are you nervous?" Jesse asked me as I waited for my audition.
"Not at all," I assured him, when I really was quite nervous and I had butterflies in my stomach like never before. "I'll be fine."
Jesse gave my shoulder a reassuring squeeze. "You'll be better than fine," He said. "You're the best one here and you'll do great. The part is practically yours." Then, he whispered in my ear: "I'm rooting for you." Before I could say anything, he was gone.
Now those four words affected me, because I could remember when Finn said those exact words to me years ago, before I sang "Defying Gravity" with Kurt at my very first diva-off.
"Rachel Berry," I heard my name being called, but I couldn't move. "Miss Berry?" I took a slow, steady step forward and kept going until I reached the stage entrance.
"I can do this," I thought to myself before walking to center stage and letting the spotlight drench me. It was at that moment, I made a slight change.
"Hello my name is Rachel Berry and for my audition I will be singing 'Written In The Stars'." I proclaimed, my voice as cool and confident as I could muster.
I saw Jesse frown. "That's not what we agreed on!" He mouthed, but I pretended not to see him as the music began to play.
I am here to tell you we can never meet again
Simple really, isn't it, a word or two and then
A lifetime of not knowing where or how or why or when
You think of me or speak of me or wonder what befell
The someone you once loved so long ago so well
Never wonder what I'll feel as living shuffles by
You don't have to ask me and I need not reply
Every moment of my life from now until I die
I will think or dream of you and fail to understand
How a perfect love can be confounded out of hand
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
Is this God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day
Nothing can be altered, oh, there is nothing to decide
No escape, no change of heart, no any place to hide
You are all I'll ever want but this I am denied
Sometimes in my darkest thoughts, I wish I'd never learned
What it is to be in love and have that love returned
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
Is this God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day
Is it written in the stars
Are we paying for some crime
Is that all that we are good for
Just a stretch of mortal time
Is this God's experiment
In which we have no say
In which we have no say
In which we're given paradise
But only for a day
By the time I finished, I was out of breath and crying. The director, producer and Jesse alike all began to applaud me and my performance. I smiled, scanning the room. Suddenly, I looked towards the back of the theatre.
"I just saw…" I said to myself.
I had just seen someone watching me from the back. But as I studied it closer, nothing. No one was there.
Perhaps it was only my imagination.