Okay, pull my leg why don't you. Here is what happened to Helen, Frank and Morelli. Thanks for reading.
Helen POV
"Frank, come on, our car is waiting." He is so slow. I know he is too cheap to pay for a second night in this luxurious room, so he needed to hurry up. Why did I marry him anyway? Right, because I was pregnant and Anthony Morelli would not marry me.
"I'm coming, Helen. I am getting the soaps and shampoos out of the bathroom." I just glower at him. At least my mother did not come with us to the Boys' and Girls' Club dinner last night. She said she won a party bus trip to Atlantic City. I felt like saying good riddance.
It was so great that no one else was invited. It was all expenses paid, even a gift card to Macy's was included for me. The food was excellent and Frank got to sit in the lounge with the other men and watch a game and smoke cigars. I was among the elite of society. Everyone remarked on how I looked. It was fantastic. There was an open bar and I did not need my flask one time! I almost hate to go home, but people would be waiting to hear all about my special night.
We had a nice drive in the limousine and I had a little nap after I finished my flask. Frank shakes me awake and I realize we are home. I wait for the driver to open the door and I get out of the car to what looks like a crime scene. There are policemen here and the fire chief. I look over and see that our car was burnt out and our home was gone. It was all burned down. All I can do is stare at what used to be my home.
I can hear them wondering about the number of liquor bottles littering the ground where my kitchen used to be. Oh. My. God. My house burned down. My car blew up. I am now becoming aware of the people crowding the street looking at us like we are in a zoo. I turn to Frank and he is just standing there reading the paper with a weird expression on his face.
"Frank!" I whisper shout at him, but he does not answer. The limo driver puts our luggage next to us and drives away. I rip the newspaper out of Frank's hands and read it. What? The front page shows a picture of our youngest "daughter" and it says she gave an exclusive interview and she provided documentation. What?! She told everything I have kept a secret! She told them bad things about Joseph! People will know we adopted her because I could not bear any more children.
Everyone will think I am an alcoholic the way she said I drink so much every day. It is okay to have wine with dinner. We are Italian. Oh, no. She said Valerie is not Frank's. She gave medical proof! I always said Valerie was premature, but she got proof that she was actually late! No wonder Frank is so quiet! I look around and everyone is staring at me. I throw my hands up and scream, "WHY ME!" The next thing I remember, I am waking up at the police station. Why am I here, I wonder.
"Mrs. Plum, please answer the question." I look around and I see that Eddie Gazarra is asking me questions. "What was the question, Eddie?" He sighs and asks me the question again.
"Do you want to press charges against your husband for hitting you?" What? I don't remember that. I shake my head no. When did he hit me?
"Are you sure?" I just nod. He gives me an ice pack and points to my face, so I put it there. Why don't I feel any pain? Oh, it is probably because I drank from my flask in the limo. Eddie gives me a mirror and I see that I have a large bruise on my face all on one side and the beginnings of a black eye. This is just not my day.
Morelli POV
I could not believe it when I won box seats with travel and hotel accommodations to the Rangers. I took the day off work and packed an overnight bag and I was off. I brought my cousin Mooch with me so he could owe me a favor.
The seats were amazing and we had catered food of shrimp, crab puffs, teriyaki wings and vegetables. The beer was flowing and the game went into overtime. I had a great time and we even met some hot girls that invited us to their hotel room. I told them that mine was a suite. They came back with us and we planned to do things that might be illegal in some states.
When I woke up this morning, the girls were gone, but one of them, Candy, left me a note that said to call her if I was ever in NYC. She said she appreciated that we tipped her and Alize an extra $150.
Tipped? What? They were hookers? Dammit! I hope no one from home finds out about that or my ass will be in trouble. I check my wallet and I have $50 left. Wow. They charged $1,700 plus the extra $150. I had $2,000 on me before last night.
I was thinking about going to AC but now I know I need to just go back home. I called the car to be ready within an hour and I took a shower. I had apparently been waxed because I had no chest, back or groin hair. I saw from the mirror that only my ass still had hair. That was so weird.
I got dressed and roused Mooch. He got himself together and we got into the hummer to go back home. I feel like I need another day off. I must have drunk a lot since I do not remember anything after we left the stadium. I hope I did not do drugs.
There is a newspaper on the seat, so I started reading it. What the fuck?! How dare she tell people about me! Valerie was my stepsister? I will hurt Cupcake if I ever see her again. How could she tell people I raped her? So what if she was 15, she was almost 16 and she did not say no!
The car stopped, so I got out and tipped the guy a $50 and he thanked me. Mooch and I grabbed our bags and the guy drove away. I turned to see why we are so far away from the house and see a mob scene. My car is burnt out and my house is gone. What the hell happened? While I was getting my groove on, which I really do not remember, my home and my car were being destroyed. I walked over to Big Dog, since it seemed he was in charge of the investigation.
"Hey, what happened here, Big Dog?" He just looked at me sadly. "Joe, it looks like an electrical fire inside the home from sparks and too many things plugged into one outlet, and the tree outside your house caught fire and fell onto your car and it exploded. No one was hurt, Joe, so that is a good thing. A lot of people were out on your block, so by the time the fire trucks could get to your home, it was mostly gone." He looks at me a little sadly.
"What do you mean when they could finally get to me, Big Dog?" He tugs at his collar.
"Joe, last night, the bonds office building burned to the ground. People are saying Vinnie did it for the insurance. Also, the Plum's house burned down as well. There is talk that maybe she left the iron on and all of that booze she had in the house made the fire burn even hotter than normal." I shake my head. This is crazy.
"At least they were out of town at that fancy dinner she was bragging about. Tough luck for them." Tough luck my ass. Anyone should be able to tell that Cupcake or that goon Manoso is behind this. I tell Carl to send a car to his building. That story, plus her parents, Vinnie and I have fires at the same time.
"Joe, we already ruled out Manoso. He was with the mayor at the Salvation Army honors dinner and his people cooperated and sent video surveillance of him for the whole day. There is no way he could do all of those fires at the same time, Joe. He is not really Batman you know." I just get madder. He has a whole building full of thugs that would do this for him.
"I want answers!" I get in Big Dog's face and he shoves me away like I burned him.
"Um, Joe?" What is his deal?
"What?" He grimaces and backs up.
"You have a mean looking cold sore developing on your mouth there. I hope you practiced safe sex. I gotta go. You be safe, man." He almost runs away from me. I look in the mirror of a parked car and see the large cold sore. How had I missed it this morning? Why me?
I just stand there. I don't know what to do. I have like a hundred bucks on me and all of my belongings including my car are gone. People are looking at me either because of the article in the paper, the fire, or the cold sore, which I believe can be seen from across the street. All I can do is stand there and look at Mooch who has a matching cold sore on his mouth. Ew. What the fuck did I do last night?!