I own none of JE's characters.

A/N: Thank you for the responses I have received. Let me know if I am off track or what.

Terri Gilman POV

I sat at my vanity looking at my reflection and smiling a big smile. I am so excited. When Joey got back from his little day trip with his cousin, he said we would talk and I think it will finally happen. We will get engaged and I will be Mrs. Joseph Anthony Morelli!

I have been waiting more than ten years for Joey. I am tired of waiting. I want the wedding, the romance, the marriage. It was enough already with the waiting.

I was patient when he went to the Navy. I was patient when he got out and joined the police force instead of getting a job with Uncle Vito. Eventually I was able to make Uncle Vito understand that Joey could be an informant or something for us. He has tried to set me up with other men over the years, but my heart belongs to Joey. I have wanted him since high school.

It was my idea for him to "date" that Plum bitch as a public girlfriend. I told him he could be as mean to her as he wanted in public and as long as he took her to Pino's once in a while, people would blame it on her. I helped the gossip along in that direction.

I was so glad when the bitch left town, though, because Joey was getting a little too into her if you know what I mean. He was always talking about Cupcake this and Cupcake that. I reminded him that his relationship with her was supposed to be faked.

I am starting to think that he fucked her. Every time people said he stayed over her apartment, he would say they were lying and she was doing that Ranger guy anyway. I need to calm down. I wonder what we should name our kids?

I dressed in my pink halter dress and matching shoes and pulled my hair back with a white headband. Joey loves the innocent look. A knock on the door interrupted my thoughts. I opened the door to see Pauly and Bruno. I had showed them a little cleavage and they jumped at the chance to watch Bob for me.

There was no way I was having that hairy dog in my home. My things are too nice. I glared at them, since they had the dog with them and Bob wanted to run into my home. No way was that happening. I came outside onto the porch and closed the door so the dog would not get inside.

"What? You cannot have the dog, Pauly, so stop asking." I glare at them for bothering me with this crap. Why can't they go buy a dog of their own? Why are they looking shifty?

"Theresa, um, you see…" Bruno looked a little pale. What is the deal with these guys? Do I have a zit or something? I motion for them to spit it out already. "We were walking Mac here." I stopped them right there. "Bruno, you cannot rename the dog. His name is Bob." He looked at me with a grin.

"Theresa, this dog eats like a mack truck. He should be called Mac, not Bob. He likes it anyhow." I just rolled my eyes. This is so stupid. "Whatever, Bruno. Go ahead and tell me the issue already. I was getting ready for my date." They looked even more shifty.

"Theresa, you see, we was walking Mac here and he took a huge dump." I nodded. He did that a lot. Joey's dog was better than a swifter sweeper some days. Nothing stayed on the floor for long. I always put my shoes on top of the dresser whenever I visited Joey. It was yet another reason I refused to take care of the huge shedding monster.

"Then, something came out that we thought might be yours, so we used a stick and picked it up." Ew. Even if it were mine, there was no way I wanted it back. The nerve of them!

"Then, we got a good look at it and realized it can't be yours, Theresa." They held up a plastic bag with a lime green thong that would fit a woman with a behind much, much larger than mine. They also handed me the newspaper. I read it. Wow. I guess she told them. What? Joey really did fuck her when we were in high school? He told me that was all lies.

That bastard! He lied to me! All this time! He cheated on me with a woman that had a huge ass! Doesn't he know I have connections?! I stood there steaming mad when the phone rang. I told the guys to wait a minute and went inside and shut the door.

"Hello?" It was the bastard. He sure has great timing. "Terri, I am glad I caught you before you came over this way. Listen, my house burned down and my car got blown up. They are saying it was an accident. Can I stay with you for a while?" It looks like someone else got my revenge for me. I took a deep breath and did not yell like I wanted to. I was very sweet, just like usual.

"Um, Joey, I have to go outta town on a little assignment for my uncle. I won't be able to let you inside the complex. I am really sorry about your house. I will call you when I get back, okay?" He seems too shocked to answer. I hang up anyway and go to the door. I open it to see Pauly and Bruno throwing a ball for Bob. I wave them over.

"Boys, great news. You can keep the dog. Do not bring him around me, and burn those fucking panties." They both nod with glee and race back to their car. I just shake my head.

I needed to call Uncle Vito. I would be taking that assignment in Chicago. It was time for me to have a change in my life. I am only 28. It's not too late, and I still look good. I also need to make a doctor's appointment.

After years of nagging, my uncle would never believe that all it took was a dog and some huge assed panties to convince me to leave Joseph Anthony Morelli alone. And now he has no house. He would not be mooching off me. I packed all of his things into a box. I would drop it past his mother's later. It was time to leave this town.

Lula POV

"Lula, get up. We have to get going. The car is waiting for us." Jackie sure is a nag first thing in the damned morning. She acting like I did not do her a favor and bring her with me to the hair expo. She know she is still a ho and I am not. She better recognize.

We had a ball! There was so many booths with different hair extensions and wigs. I got my hair done like the statue of liberty but in royal blue. I looked the bomb.

Then we had the all you can eat buffet that was open all day. I had ribs and chicken and burgers. I was eating all damned day. I ate everything, even crab legs and shrimp. It was like I could not get full. They had the best sweet potatoes and collard greens. I had a lot of those. Mmmm. It was so good and I packed some to eat in the room and after Jackie went to sleep, I ate the rest of the food. I cannot believe I won these tickets from that radio show I listen to.

I got up out of the bed and farted a long silent one. Damn, that is funky. By the time I was finished taking a shower, I had farted four more times and they stunk worse every time. At least I always farted quietly. I could just blame it on Jackie in the car.

I checked my phone on the way to the car, since Jackie had already checked us out, and I had ten messages and four of them were from Connie. I got into the car and listened to the messages, farting the whole while. I heard Connie telling me that the bonds office burned down. Damn, that was fucked up. Now what was I gonna do for a fucking J-O-B?

I farted again and listened to the next message. Connie was telling me that her car blew up and that so did Morelli's and his house burned down. Damn. That was a nasty fart. I hope it was just a fart. I opened the window and looked over at Jackie. She was sleeping. Hmph. Ooooh. I farted again and waved the smell away.

My next message was about what happened to Mrs. Plum. Wow, her husband jacked her up and she did not press charges. Their house burned down, too. Whew! My stomach was really churning now.

My last message is from Yvonne. She said she was house sitting for me like we planned and last night my car blew up, and then got smashed. She said she tried to call me, and there was nothing she could do about it. She said the license plate was saved and I could file a police report, but that somehow my car was too close to the fire hydrant and when they tried to park the fire truck, one of them flipped my car over and smashed it. I just sat there farting until I realized we had stopped.

"Ma'am?" I turn to the hunky driver who was holding the door open. "Yes?" Why were we at the hospital?

"Please step out of the car. I think you need to maybe have your stomach pumped. You seem to be in distress and your friend keeps passing out." I got out of the car and noticed that I was not just farting. I had shit on myself. The paramedics people put Jackie on a stretcher and put me onto one as well. When I told them what I had eaten all day yesterday, they rushed me to get my stomach pumped. Damn. I had such a great day yesterday. Somebody up there hates me.