All members of ZAFT were ordered to return to the PLANTS immediately following the ceasefire. They were more or less confined in the military dorms or their homes until the new administration was able to take control of the situation.

Yzak stayed at his apartment, a few minutes away from the dorms. He really would have preferred to return to the Joule mansion, but his mother had been put under house arrest and the mansion was off limits to any visitors, including him. He had exchanged a few words with Dearka and Athrun, who returned to the PLANTS to face their consequences, but they all knew that the odds were stacked against them. All three of them were facing a court-martial, and they knew whatever sentence they would receive would not be pretty.

On the fifth morning following the ceasefire, Yzak found an unfamiliar envelope in his mailbox. It was addressed from the ZAFT headquarters. A summons to military court. Finally, he thought, as he ripped open the envelope. It was completely illogical to feel relieved to be summoned to court, but it made sense in a very sick, twisted way.

He needed closure, regardless of what it might be. They all did.

Most of his charges were ones he had already expected. Ordering his team to retreat in the face of the enemy, divulging information about the Genesis to non-ZAFT entities, failure to report the locations of deserters… He almost laughed at the amount of offenses he had managed to build up. Whatever happened to that perfect soldier he once was?

He froze when he saw his last offense.

The massacre of civilian passengers aboard an OMNI escape shuttle.

He read the line, over and over again, hoping it was some kind of mistake. His hands started to shake, and he slumped down to the floor. He could not even understand how that was possible; he had never seen a civilian shuttle throughout the war…

Then he remembered when he fought the Archangel and another OMNI ship, right before he was forced to land on Earth. The other ship released an escape shuttle right before it exploded. He shot at the shuttle, assuming that they were just soldiers running away from the battlefield. It was a military shuttle after all.

It dawned on him that the passengers of that shuttle must have been civilians. Innocent, harmless civilians who he killed in cold blood.

He had tried, honestly tried to move on and grow up, especially after he was given his own team. He did everything he could for his team, and he knew that they acknowledged him as well. But no matter what he did, how hard he tried, he was a heartless murderer after all.

Right at that moment, his phone began to ring. He wanted nothing more than to ignore it, but the ringing started to pound in his head. He stood up and staggered to his phone.

"Hello?"

His voice was hoarse and shaky, and he almost did not recognize it.

"Commander? It's Shiho, calling on behalf of the team."

The familiar voice on the other side was oddly collected and businesslike. It sounded so out of place, and for a brief moment he wondered if it was merely a figment of his imagination.

"Hello? Are you there?"

When she spoke again, even he had to admit that the voice was real. He buried his face in his free hand; he wondered why she always seemed to find him at his absolute lowest.

"Yes, Shiho. I'm here."

"We hadn't heard from you, and we were just wondering how you were. The rest of the team all live in the dorms, so…"

"I'm fine, Shiho. Doing just fine."

He didn't sound fine, not even to himself. She'd have to be incredibly dense to buy that, and he knew she wasn't.

"…No, you're not. What's wrong?"

Yzak sighed. There was really no point in hiding it; the entire team would eventually be notified if the worst came to happen anyway. He pretended not to feel his hand shaking.

"I'm getting court-martialed."

"Well, you did see that coming, right? I mean, telling us to retreat and all…"

"Shiho, I shot down a civilian shuttle."

There was a gasp on the other side, followed by a long pause. The silence made him anxious, and wondered if Shiho was as disgusted with him as he was with himself. Somehow, that thought scared him more than the actual consequences he knew he would be facing.

"…Why?"

Her reply was soft.

"I didn't know. I thought they were escaping OMNI soldiers."

There was another long pause. He inhaled, and said the one sentence he never wanted to have to say to her.

"Shiho, I'm not getting out of this alive."

He heard another short gasp, but her reply was much quicker this time.

"When is your trial?"

He checked the date on the paper.

"…Tomorrow. At 2."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry."

He slammed down the phone before she could say another word. He was thankful that he didn't have to see her expression. He had no idea how painful it would have been if he had to see the disappointment in her face that he was just a dirty criminal after all.

Who couldn't even keep one simple fucking promise.

It was so ironic that after he tried so hard to stay alive during the war, he now faced a certain death in a peaceful PLANTS, by his allies. He was going to die anyway, and disappear from her life. Not that she should have cared about him anyway. Either way, the end result was the same. He had caused her pain that she didn't need to deserve.

"I'm so sorry, Shiho."

He whispered to the emptiness of his room.

xoxox

Yzak Joule's trial started at 1400 sharp the next day.

He hadn't completely recovered from the shock, but he had regained enough composure to sit up and look straight ahead. If being shot by his allies was his fate, then he was ready to accept it. There were simply too many mistakes he made through his short life, and he knew that he deserved anything that was coming to him.

He wasn't intimidated by the grave atmosphere of the room like he thought he would be. Sure, it was hardly comfortable to be sitting alone in front of a panel thrice his age, but he couldn't keep his focus to what was happening in front of him. As the panel started to list his many charges, he started to think about his team, his comrades, and most of all, Shiho.

She would not leave him alone, even in a stuffy courtroom as he faced a certain death.

The panel asked him a few questions, but he could sense it was all a matter of formality. The judges had already made up their mind; he could see it in their eyes. The only thing he could do was to sit tall and answer as honestly as he could.

Finally, the chief judge looked around at his peers.

"Yzak Joule. Due to the number of your offenses, and the particularly malicious nature of them, we sentence you to execution before a firing squad."

Yzak closed his eyes. This was it. Shiho's face flickered in his mind again, and he almost laughed at how seemingly pathetic he had become.

"I object."

He looked up in shock at the sudden interjection, and he saw that a member of the panel had stood up. The rest of the panel looked at the speaker as well; they most definitely did not look pleased.

"Mr. Dullindal, I must ask you to sit down."

Dullindal ignored the chief judge, and raised a document he had in his hand.

"Gentlemen of the panel, haven't we all read this petition submitted by his team?"

Yzak could not believe his ears. He had no idea that his team even knew about his trial, let alone anything about a petition. In fact, he had no idea that people could submit anything to the military court.

It had to be Shiho. No one else he knew had the wit and guts to pull off something like that.

He could feel his heartbeat pounding against his skull.

"It is clear from this petition that Mr. Joule is more than a capable commander who cared deeply about the wellbeing of his team. Any minor infraction of the rules was simply a result of his concern. And it is evident that this tactic worked, because the Joule team had the highest ratio of survivors in all of ZAFT."

"But we cannot possibly justify the incident with the civilian shuttle…"

Yzak clenched his fist on his knees. The chief judge was right. He deserved to be shot, just as he had shot down many innocent lives with no mercy at all.

"Mr. Joule said that that was an honest mistake. Who would expect civilians to be aboard a military warship?"

The panel started to shift in their seats uncomfortably, and he could see them reconsidering their decision. He looked at this mysterious man in disbelief.

"If we punish the youth for a war that we started, who will bear our future?"

The panel started whisper amongst themselves. After a few minutes, the chief judge faced Yzak with a difficult expression.

"While your actions during the war are certainly still questionable, the panel has chosen to consider these very good points Mr. Dullindal raised. We excuse you from any further consequences. You are dismissed."

Yzak stared at them for a while before he could comprehend what had just happened. He looked at the man who had just saved his life; he smiled, and silently gave him a piece of paper. It had one simple sentence scribbled on to it.

If you're interested in a seat in the Temporary Supreme Council, call XXX-XXXX.

Yzak looked back up at the stranger, speechless. But before he could say anything, the stranger disappeared with the rest of the panel into the back room.

This chapter and the upcoming chapter were supposed to be one, but it got a little too long so I'm dividing it into two. Second part coming up shortly... with a lot more focus on the development of Yzak and Shiho's relationship. Be pumped :]

Man, that was a lot of angst. I hope you guys aren't exasperated. I almost am.

So this and a few more chapters coming up are really a figment of my imagination. Stuff that's not in any official timeline. Just to put that out there.

Thank you and I LOVE YOU! to everyone who's reading this right now. And even more thanks and even more love to anyone who reviews. Hahaha. Thank you for bearing with my ridiculously slow updates. Yay for college.