In the following weeks, I saw Tokio from time to time, and he began telling me more about that mysterious "mark" existing within my body. He taught me about Cybodies, their abilities and the fact that I must probably possess a "first phase". Looking back on it, he only told me the very basic things, keeping most of the more crucial information to himself. Back then, I didn't even know why he knew all these things, but in the end, I didn't even care. I was happy there was someone to finally explain to me what had been going on with me ever since my childhood, to make me realize that I was, in fact, neither weird nor alone with this.
Of course, we talked about other things as well. I began to entrust everything to him, without ever getting something in return. I didn't even want anything in return. I was fine as long as I could be with him.

I knew Tokio had other friends as well, I sometimes saw them all three together around the town or at the beach. He spent much more time with them than with me, but I didn't want to get between them. They all seemed to get along so well and my place was not among the three of them.
Besides, I feared he might back off from me if I got too clingy.
I didn't want to be abandoned again. Tokio was all I had.

Nevertheless, we met more and more frequently and there came a time where I couldn't deny anymore that I had never met a person in my entire life whose presence I had enjoyed more. I felt save with him, understood and trusted and just normal.
Sometimes we didn't even talk and I just watched him paint for hours and loved every second of it. He never spoke about his other friends and I never asked about them. It was better that way.

**
After a few months had already passed since my arrival on Southern Cross Island, I had finally managed to accommodate to the daily life there for the most part.
I came back from some shopping I did as early in the morning as possible on my free days due to the soaring heat of the summer, and I found that Tokio was waiting for me in front of my apartment.
I was surprised, as I had never shown or told him where I lived. It just never felt like a necessary topic yet and my fear of getting too close to him for his own comfort had prevailed until now.

It seemed like he supposed I was still asleep, trying the doorbell several times, stepping back, attempting to look through a window. He had his painting materials with him in big bags.
As I approached him, he turned around, fast to smile.

"Oh, there you are! I thought you were sleeping. It's your free day, right?"
I have no idea where he knew that from, but maybe from his friend who was working in the island ruins as well. Just that in contrast to me, he was doing actual research.
I smiled back and nodded. I had never expected Tokio to show up in front of my door so fast and I tried to fumble my keys out of my shopping bag while he kept on talking away cheerfully.
"You know, I wanted to go and finish a painting, but it would be rather lonely, so I figured you might want to come along."

This was the first time he had actually invited me to be with him, all the other times had just been either incidental meetings or I had looked around the island in search for him for hours. He had never actively come to me before.
"Let me just put my stuff away", was the only thing I could utter as an answer as I finally managed to open my apartment door. I actually didn't feel all too well showing him this place; it was incredibly small and crammed and lacked any order. But he said nothing about any of these aspects and silently followed me into the kitchen, where I attempted to create some lunch boxes for us with what little materials and talent I had at hand.
I could feel him watch me closely, just like he always did when he wasn't busy painting. He seemed to register every single motion of mine, piercing through my body and soul. It wasn't the first time that I realized how nervous it made me to feel his gaze upon me.

I hurried and probably made the most terrible lunch boxes ever, but Tokio did not seem to mind much and we went off.
Southern Cross Island had a sheer uncountable number of beautiful spots to discover and I was sure Tokio had painted each and every one of them already. But we still managed to find a place he was interested in, even though it seemed like it had nothing to do with the picture he was just working on.

But to be fair, that didn't really matter to me. I liked his paintings, but what I liked even more was him, his sole presence.
Tokio was all I needed.
But I could never tell him that.

When evening had arrived, we sat together on a small bench, watching Tokio's latest picture from afar as the paint was drying. It had a marvelous scenery with a beautiful rainbow and an equally beautiful woman. Well, at least I supposed the woman was beautiful, because all the viewer got to see was her back.
But I was sure it was impossible to be not beautiful when Tokio painted someone.

Tokio watched his work with a satisfied smile on his face.
"That's another one done. This place is great, the island and the people are quite inspiring."
He turned towards me and I realized how close he suddenly was. I swallowed, as I could feel my heart beginning to beat faster than it should. Frantically, I tried to avoid eye contact.
I couldn't let him know.

"How about I paint you next?"
I remembered how he had said so on our very first meeting, that he wanted to paint me. But he had never talked about it again and I couldn't quite get why on earth he would want to paint somebody like me. He had plenty of other people around him that could and surely would model for him.
I laughed nervously. "I don't think I'm suited to be your model, actually…"
"Oh, but of course you are!"
He raised a hand and let it run through my hair, played with it.
When I dared to look at him, I found a very soft smile, painted in the brilliant orange of the setting sun. He was probably more fascinating than anything he could ever paint.
"Believe me, you're really beautiful. I like beautiful people."

I felt his other hand on mine and before I realized it, he had closed the last bits of distance between us for a kiss.

I lost track of how long the kiss lasted, but it seemed like eternity.
An eternity just for us two.

When we finally broke apart, I realized what had happened. I drew back from Tokio a few inches, almost jumped off the bench. My head was so hot it felt like it'd explode any minute, my chest was heavy, heart about to jump out of it due to beating so fast.
I couldn't look at him, couldn't look him in the eyes. But somehow, I knew he was smiling again, because he nearly always did. I should be happy about all this, but somehow, I was not. Something was weird, dream-like.
Not reality. This couldn't be reality.
I could hardly speak.
"I… I didn't think you would be like that…"
He laughed, the same relaxed laugh I had heard so often now and came to like so much.
"As I said, I like beautiful people."

He turned away from me to look at his painting again. As I did the same, it came to my mind that I had seen the woman on the picture before. Thinking straight was a little hard at this moment, but I was sure she had been in at least one other painting of his I had seen him working on. Surely, she was of some sort of significance to him.
"But… what about her…?"
"Ah, she's my muse. A wonderful muse, but don't worry about that."

Without any further word on the topic, Tokio got up to examine his painting closer, to see if the paint had dried enough already. He started packing his work utensils together in what little light the almost disappeared sun still cast on the island.
I kept sitting on the bench, watching him, hoping to finally calm down. It was hard to think. On the one hand, it was like my wildest dreams had come true, and I admit I had dreamt about Tokio before. That was how I had realized I had seriously fallen for him. But on the other hand, it seemed like something was wrong about this. Tokio had never appeared to me as someone who would accept me on this level.
But I was still unsure if I should tell him. Maybe it was too early, maybe he would not want something like that. In fact, I couldn't really make out why he had kissed me to begin with, he had never seemed to have any interest in me like that. I had never told him I like men, so he had taken quite a risk here.
As long as I didn't know what he was thinking I just could not tell him. I didn't want to lose him.
Tokio was all I had, no matter our relationship.

We didn't talk much on the way back into town. Maybe Tokio had noticed how awkward this move of his had been. Maybe he regretted it.
He followed me back into my apartment for no reason, or so I thought at that point. I was unsure about how to proceed, it had been long since I last had fallen in love with someone, and even longer that someone seemed to return my feelings. And ever since I had started living on my own, I hadn't even taken anyone with me either, especially not on this island.
I had come here to learn about myself, not to find a partner.
Not that I would mind it, though.

Unfortunately for me, this whole situation made me extremely nervous and I stumbled through my apartment like a little teenager, probably looking incredibly stupid. Tokio never said a word, just laughed a little from time to time when I tried to quickly clean up a bit and just made a bigger mess than my place had been before.
In the end, we were in the small kitchen again, trying to find something to eat.
I went through my fridge, but couldn't find anything that wasn't premade meals. I was a bad cook, so I mostly trusted in the fast food industry. Not a really good thing to serve when the person you love is around, but I had no choice in the end.

I eyed one of the packages, wondering if Tokio would like it, but before I could actually ask him about that, he pushed the fridge door close and took the meal out of my hands.
His deep purple eyes met mine, I felt his breath on my face with every word of his.
"What if we skip dinner and I'm just going to devour you?"
A terrible line in hindsight, but Tokio was this kind of person that could make everything work.

He kissed me again, but it was different this time.
Deeper, more intense. Hungry.

I threw my arms around him, basically melting into the kiss.
We stumbled backwards in an awkward dance until Tokio ended with his back to the kitchen wall. He held me close, continued to lead the kisses, skilled tongue playing with mine.
My mind went blank, there was nothing I could think or say or do, other than clinging to him, trying to keep up with his pace. Everything felt hot, a nice kind of heat, but slowly becoming unbearable. This was different from anything I had ever felt, nobody had ever managed to make me become like that.
Tokio was incredible.

When we drew apart for some air, he grinned at me and began to play around with my pants with one hand. I looked down between us and saw the bulge in my trousers, which was almost embarrassing. I couldn't even remember the last time somebody had touched me there.
"You're really fast", he whispered, "Amazing."
I would have probably blushed, but the heat in my head was so big already that it was surely red all over anyway. I couldn't even react to Tokio's statement in any way, nor to anything else he did. I had completely given myself over to him, body and soul.
We continued to kiss and somehow managed to maneuver ourselves through my small apartment towards my equally small bed. It was definitely not made for this sort of activity, but good enough for now. I wouldn't have noticed whether it was too crammed or uncomfortable or anything anyway.

Until today, I don't know if this was Tokio's first time with another man or not.
But in any case, for me, it was probably the best night in my life.
I had never felt like this before.

It was already noon when I woke up the next day. I had overslept.
I couldn't find Tokio anywhere, his clothes and bags were gone. Even though I had wanted to at least make him some breakfast.
I found a short letter on the kitchen table, scribbled onto the back of some old envelope I had left lying around.
Even his handwriting looked like art.

Good morning, Shingo!
Unfortunately, I have to leave already, but the sunrise is amazing today and I just can't leave that unpainted, I'm sure you understand. You seemed kind of worn out last night, so I didn't want to wake you up. Your face is really beautiful when you sleep.
I'll contact you soon.

R.

The way he had signed this letter, the big, curvy R, was the same way he signed his paintings. I knew it was short for his pen name of sorts, but I found it weird that he used it here as well.
I sat down and looked at the letter for some longer. The last night came back into my mind and I had never felt so happy before, but also never so confused at the same time. I decided to ignore that, because now it seemed like I had finally found someone to give my heart to without regrets. No matter if Tokio really had any feelings for me or not, I did and I would always do.
Tokio was all I had.

Tokio was all I needed.

[to be continued]