When I woke up, Tokio was there.
I didn't realize that I had slept for so long, I had no idea it had been fifteen whole years. Only afterwards, I learned that my medical condition had essentially been a coma and I had been in hospital for years over years.
But I was so happy.
My dreams had been weird and long, that was all I knew at that point, and when I opened my eyes, I saw Tokio and it made me happy. Whatever had happened in the past years, he had still come back to me, maybe not even had ever left my side.
I wanted to tell him about my dream, ask him if it meant something, that long, long conversation I had with Synpathy. If I had had it at all. Maybe it had just been my mind playing tricks on me over all this time and my Cybody had never actually reached out for me, had been incapable of actual communication all the time. I didn't know and I wanted to ask Tokio, but I couldn't really put it into words.
In that situation – weak, disoriented, tired – it was easier for me to explain to him what else I had dreamed of, a fast forward throughout my life. I had relived everything during these years in bed, and it had hurt just as much as before.
He asked me if I remembered our promise.
Of course I did. But what if he would face the same fate as me if he took my mark?
He said he was alright, as long as he got it. I wasn't in the position to argue. All I could think was that he had taken care of me all the time while I had been ill, he had been there for so many years and fulfilling our promise, I thought, was the least I could do as a token of my gratitude.
In fact, I couldn't actively think that far in this moment, my brain still worked too slowly after just waking up from this long slumber. But I remembered what I had promised him and I saw the excitement, the need in his eyes, so there was no room for me to decline.
Everything was fine as long as it made him happy.
I gave him my mark.
For the first time in my life, the warmth this thing produces felt good, it felt so nice under my hand when it was glowing on Tokio's chest.
He was so close to fulfill his dream, he proclaimed, and I had gotten mine. A long, splendid dream he called it and that was exactly how imagined it. Thinking I might also be able to live it together with him, just us two, was something I couldn't really do at that moment, being too overwhelmed by all my feelings, but it was what I was subconsciously hoping for.
At that moment, I had no idea what Tokio's dream really was about, and how he would try to achieve it.
I only learned that he had no regard for other people's lives a few hours later, when Zero Time broke apart and I, unfrozen together with the rest of the world, witnessed the ascension of a being that was dark as the night sky, seeming to devour the Earth.
From the faint memories my Cybody had left for me, I knew that this was a thing that should have never released, something that should have been confined in the depths of Zero Time for all eternity.
Samekh.
Just as I had whispered its name against the window I was pressing to, watching in both horror and fascination, darkness came again.
Samekh drowned the planet's collective libido during its flight into the night sky, and I died together with the rest of humanity.
When I awoke again, I had no idea what had just happened, or how.
But I didn't die. Or I came back to life.
I still don't really know.
It was way past midnight when I had managed to rearrange myself. Whatever had happened, it had left a considerable strain on my body, which wasn't very strong to begin with, considering I had just woken up from a very long sleep.
It might take me years to fully recover, Doctor Shibuya told me once.
I used the huge water tank Tokio had in his house like a mirror to look at myself. I had always been quite thin, had had problems building up muscle mass, but even taking the curvature of the tank into account, I looked terrible right now.
I turned and saw how long my hair had gotten, I hadn't even realized this until that moment. This was the only thing about my change I could come to maybe like, even though it was a little too long to be practical. But it surely wasn't as bad as the rest of my ghostly figure.
Then Tokio came back.
He looked terrible and I had no real idea what to do or say. I was happy, but on the other hand I wasn't. I still loved him deeply, despite of what he had done or what he would say to me. I had begun to understand that he had never loved me back.
Not that I cared in that moment as I took him into my arms, hoping I could overwrite whatever bad had happened to him in the hours before.
He stayed with me for the rest of the night.
The next day, however, he disappeared.
He just left the island telling nobody where he would go. Not even Ryousuke knew anything about his plans. He was just gone.
I was allowed to stay in his house, as I had no place for myself anymore, but other than that, I was left with nothing.
Tokio is gone now and I have no idea where.
I am waiting for him to return, but everyone has expressed doubts he ever would. Many even hoped he would never come back.
But I, I am desperately waiting for him to come back. And if it turns out he never will, I am going to set out into the world to find him. I know he is not really the person I had thought he was, I know I am of no importance to him.
But still, I just can't stop loving him. He has done so much for me.
No matter where he is, I will find him. And when he comes back here, I will be here too.
I can't be without him.
Tokio is all I have.