A/N: Quick note to my Angel readers. It's been a very hectic few weeks. I haven't forgotten about ya, I'm only getting little bursts of writing time, and I'm writing what's speaking to me readily. As we all know, Angel Edward is very recalcitrant with me. LOL

~Early May, Eleven Years Ago~

Edward loved Christmas.

It was a Cullen thing. Every year, his family went just a little overboard. Carlisle and Alice started planning elaborate light and lawn set-ups in June. Esme and Edward kept the house smelling like gingerbread and other treats all December long. Emmett. Well, Edward's older brother was the grunt. He followed instructions and ate all the cookies. On Christmas morning, he was the one banging on everyone's door as soon as the sun was up to see what Santa brought.

And it didn't matter that none of the Cullen kids believed in Santa after the age of six. Santa came anyway.

Edward loved it all. He loved how everything smelled and tasted of peppermint. He loved going with the family to pick out a Christmas tree. He loved the blinking lights, and yes, he loved the commercial business of it. He liked giving gifts. There might as well be an official season to do it in.

When he and Alice were fourteen, seventeen-year-old Emmett had his first baby. Generally speaking, the situation was drama, but by the time Christmas rolled around, everyone was excited. Baby Aiden had Baby's First Christmas everything. He was the star of the show on Christmas morning.

It was an image that stuck with Edward the rest of his life: his big brother holding his tiny son as Aiden, cozy in his red and green first christmas footy jammies, giggled with pure delight at the sound of ripping wrapping paper.

Being only fourteen, it was a vague vision of the future back then, but Edward knew he wanted this some day. As much as he loved Christmas, he thought it would be even better when he could share his joy with his own baby.

Twenty-four now, and an adult, Edward and Kate, who shared his love of Christmas, were stoked to find their baby's due date was December 25 exactly.

"Bro, just tell me you're not going to name it something ridiculous," Emmett said. "I know a Holly Noelle, and she's not amused, okay?"

Edward reached out and Emmett's two-year-old daughter, his fourth and youngest child, leaned out of her father's arms, grasping for her uncle. Edward settled her against his hip and kissed the tip of her nose. "What's your name?"

"April May," she said, smiling winningly. She had been born on April 30th.

Edward looked at his brother and raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, I'm lucky Jessica let me see the kid the day she was born. That name wasn't my choice, and you know it."

Emmett had four kids from three different mothers. Jessica insisting on naming the baby was the least of the drama he'd faced.

"If it's a girl, we're not going to name it Holly," Edward said, kissing the tip of his niece's nose and imagining a pretty girl with Kate's blond hair.

"Kris Kringle is also a horrible boy's name," Emmett said.

Edward rolled his eyes.

~Present Day~

For a few days after Bella decided to keep the baby, Edward shut himself away from the world. He called in sick to work that Thursday and Friday. It wasn't far from the truth. Anyone would have thought it was him suffering from morning sickness. He was as queasy and pale as Bella was.

Long stretches of time seemed to warp and disappear as he tried to distract himself with books and television. None of it worked. He couldn't help reliving moments from the ancient past, remembering his excitement at the prospect of being a daddy the first time. They were horribly bittersweet memories given how it all turned out, and now…

Edward's phone chimed and he stared at it for a full minute before he moved to pick it up. Another text from Jasper. Edward had told him when, after two weeks of keeping her distance, Bella wanted to speak to him. Since then, he'd kept up a steady stream of texts with seemingly random bits of information, not pushing but simply letting him know he was there.

It took Edward another minute before the words on the screen sunk in. Open the door, was all it said.

Curious, Edward hauled himself up off his couch and went to the door. Sure enough, when he opened it, he found his brother-in-law on his porch. He narrowed his eyes and toyed with the idea of slamming the door in Jasper's face before deciding that would be out of line. Instead, he stepped back, admitting him. "How long have you been standing out there, and why didn't you knock?"

"I'm not in any rush. Alice is crabby at me." He shrugged. "I'm on adult time-out."

Alice had a habit of suddenly remembering she needed some obscure item from the store when Jasper pissed her off. Edward smiled at that, missing his sister badly for a moment.

"I haven't been out there long. Maybe ten minutes."

Edward frowned at that. Had he really stared at the phone for that long before he picked it up? He rubbed his eyes as they sat in the living room. "What are you doing here?"

"You're a smart man, Edward. You know the answer to that question. I've been patient, but now I'm worried."

Edward hummed in acknowledgment, swallowing past the automatic tightening in his throat. He pinched the bridge of his nose, fighting another wave of nausea. "Bella decided to keep the baby."

They were remarkably difficult words to say, though he was sure had she made the other choice, those words would have been just as difficult, if not more so.

Jasper nodded, his face unreadable but not surprised. "Okay. What does that mean for you?"

Edward's heart began to pound in a too-quick rhythm. "I don't know."

When Edward didn't elaborate further than that, Jasper spoke again, his tone soft. "Have you considered at all that this could be a good thing?"

Edward's head shot up, and he narrowed his eyes. Before he could start yelling, Jasper raised a placating hand. "I know all the reasons it isn't a great thing, but have you considered the reasons it could be good?" His expression softened, and he put a hand to Edward's arm. "You were a good father, and you liked being a father."

"I'm Xavier's father," Edward snapped, his throat so tight now the ache was almost unbearable.

"Having another baby doesn't mean you stop being Xavier's father. You-"

"I can't think about that right now," Edward said, the words coming out in a rush. "I know it isn't fair, but I can't think about...the other yet. I can't think that far ahead." There were so many unknowns, so many variables in the situation by itself without considering the fact Edward didn't know if he could this at all. And even that wasn't a choice he could live with. If he couldn't bear to see this child, to be a father, then what? Would he force Bella into single motherhood? Was this baby going to have only a child-support check for a father?

He shook his head hard, feeling as though he was going to start hyperventilating. He didn't want to have another panic attack. "I know that's bad," he said, hating how his voice was thin and shaky.

"It's not bad. It's early, right? When is she due?"

Edward slumped forward, resting his elbows on his knees and pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. He laughed, the sound horribly bitter. "December 20th."

"Oh. Well, crap."

"Yeah. On top of being a fucking idiot, I have spectacular timing."

"Let's not go down that road right now. If the big picture is overwhelming, how about the small picture? What's the next step?"

Edward huffed, but he was calming down. Usually he found his brother-in-law's maddening rationality a trifle irritating, but right now he couldn't help but be soothed. It was no wonder troubled students flocked to Jasper.

Would Bella have gone to him for comfort and advice if he hadn't been Edward's family?

"It's selfish of me to be so focused on myself," he said, straightening up and staring forward. "I don't know all of what's going on with Bella, but I'm worried this pregnancy will be traumatic for her." He rubbed the back of his head. "She's letting me help. A little. She let me bring her lunch the last couple of days, which is good because she's losing way too much weight.'

"So talking is going well?"

Edward nodded and sighed. "Sometimes I forget. Why we're talking at all, I mean. She's easy to talk to."

"Hmm."

Catching an odd note to Jasper's hum of acknowledgement, Edward looked to the side. "What?"

"Nothing, really. I was just thinking about the way she is in the club. She's really quiet, Edward. I haven't really seen her talk to anyone." Jasper raised an eyebrow, appraising him. "And you smiled when you said that. Do you realize that?"

"What are you saying?"

"Nothing. It was just an observation. Either way, it's a good thing. It's good that she's leaning on you. I know you're having a hard time with this, but I also know you'll take care of her as much as she'll let you. That's just the kind of guy you are."

"Right," Edward said, his tone wry. "Such a great guy."

Jasper clucked his tongue and got to his feet. "Well, anyway. Come on."

"Come on?" Edward looked up at his brother-in-law, confused.

"Have you looked in the mirror lately? Bella isn't the only one losing weight. So come on. Let's get you fed."

"I'm not hungry."

"No shit, Sherlock." Jasper grabbed him by his arm and hauled him to his feet anyway. "Come on. Try. It's Mom's birthday next weekend, and as I assume you're still on the not telling anyone bandwagon, you need to eat before then. You look gaunt, man. She's going to notice." When Edward still didn't move, Jasper narrowed his eyes. "Edward, you can't possibly thinking of not going to Mom's birthday."

Despite his estrangement, Edward hadn't missed either of his parents' birthdays. He felt guilty for even thinking about it. "Of course not," he said, not fooling anyone. "I'll go. Of course I'll go."

"Then let's go eat."

~0~

Almost a week later, and Edward was beginning to at least put one foot in front of the other again. He worked and managed to feed himself without too much prompting from Jasper. He'd long since dropped the history course he'd been taking just for the hell of it.

Jasper was right. One step at a time was manageable. Get up, dress for work, go to work, lunch. He could handle that. After work, he brought Bella dinner. It was getting closer to finals. Emily, caught up in her own classes and end-of-year school work, wasn't around very much. Maybe that was why Bella seemed to appreciate Edward's company.

On Friday, he offered to take her out. Save for one visit to Planned Parenthood and meeting him afterward, she hadn't been anywhere but her dorm room and her classes for going on three weeks now. To his surprise, she agreed. And she let him pick her up too.

Not for the first time, he wondered if she'd forgiven him for shaking her out of necessity or because she was truly that forgiving. Either way, she seemed to be getting more comfortable with him, and that, at least, was some solace.

He laughed when she told him her request, and the sound startled both of them. Bella recovered first, though. "What? Why are you laughing at me?" she asked, sounding tired as usual but amused.

"You've been eating the blandest food known to man for over a week now, and today you want Indian food."

"Well for once my stomach isn't threatening to turn itself inside out."

"And you think spicy food is the way to reward it."

"Hey, chicken tikka masala isn't spicy. Oh, vindaloo is though. That sounds good."

Edward chuckled again, but he was glad she seemed eager to eat.

"You look very nice today," he said when they got out of the car and he fell into step beside her. Not only was it true, but as he hadn't seen her wear anything but jeans and oversized sweaters for a while now, he figured she'd gone out of her way to look good. She was wearing something similar to what she had the night they met, though her platform boots had been replaced by regular boots. With her little bit of eye makeup, she looked fierce again.

She crossed her arms and ducked her head, seeming shy. "I figured you probably would appreciate it if I didn't look like a homeless chick you picked up off the street."

He paused just as they got to the door and touched her arm briefly. "Bella, I've never seen you not look pretty." And that was the simple truth. Dressed down, she looked more vulnerable, maybe more the girl she was, but never someone he'd be ashamed being with.

It didn't escape Edward's notice that the host put them in an intimate booth. He didn't know how he felt about that, but he didn't think about it for long. He was quickly distracted by the light in Bella's eyes as she looked over the menu. He tried to remember the last time he'd seen the spark of happiness in her eyes. Once, he thought. After sex, when she'd looked triumphant for reasons he still didn't understand.

She screwed her nose up as she looked over the menu.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked.

"Oh, it's nothing. This place is just a little fancier than my student budget likes, and my eyes are too big for my stomach right now. I want the vindaloo, but I also want the vegetable korma. And garlic naan."

"It's on me, Bella. Get whatever you want."

She glanced up at him from over the edge of his menu. "You've brought me dinner every day for over a week. If anything, it should be me treating you for once."

"Uh. No. I-" He cut off, the words he'd been about to say choking him before he could get them out. He swallowed hard. He knew his role here. He'd walked this line before, and he knew the right words. Just because they made his stomach twist didn't mean Bella didn't need to hear them. She needed to understand she didn't have to be alone in this. He blew out a breath and forced a small smile. "The only thing Daddies get to do is take care of Mommies. Let me do that."

He wondered if they'd been the wrong words; if Bella had been trying to forget for only a night, but she only looked at him with an unreadable expression.

The waiter came over then to take their order. "The lady knows what we want," Edward said, giving Bella a challenging look.

She seemed surprised but recovered well. Edward was delighted when she ordered half the menu. "Fuck it," she said when the waiter had gone. "I'll probably throw it all up in an hour, but I feel okay right now. I want to at least taste something." She made a sheepish face. "Sorry. My stomach got the better of me. I hope you like some of what I ordered."

"Don't apologize." He was enthralled by the fact she seemed lighter today.

It was only when she was happily chewing on a corner of naan that her expression turned contemplative again. "Edward?"

"Hm?"

She swallowed and put the bread down. "Have you told anyone yet?"

He didn't have to ask what she was talking about. He found he'd been leaning forward at the table. Now he pulled back, moving his hands to his lap and clearing his throat. "Jasper."

"No one else?" He didn't know what his face looked like, but her cheeks went pink. "I'm sorry. I've just been thinking about what you told me. About your brother having so many kids. I've been wondering how your family took it." She grimaced. "I guess I've been wondering how they'll take me. And the baby." At this last, she was barely whispering, and she'd long ago put her naan down.

"Oh, Bella. The very last thing in the world you have to worry about is my family. My parents were the type that, growing up, all of our friends called them Mom and Dad. They were forever taking in strays at Thanksgiving and Christmas. Some of our friends who came from troubled homes were at our house more than theirs. That kind of thing. Jasper and Rosalie, that's my brother's wife, are closer to them than their own parents. And yes, to answer what I think you're asking, two of the mothers of Emmett's children call them Mom and Dad."

He tilted his head, a thought striking him. He wanted to be concerned about Bella more than anything. He was a wreck, but why hadn't it occurred to him to bring her to his family.

Probably because the idea of facing his family with this news made his blood run cold. He sighed, pushing away his own desires not to have to face this. Whatever else Bella was, she was wounded, and his family was very good with that. Better than he could be, but that wasn't' saying much at this point. "I think they would love you," he said, meaning it.

She scoffed. "Why? I'm the stupid fucking kid who's bringing their son nothing but problems."

More often than not, Edward forgot how very young Bella was. He never would have thought he could enjoy the company of a 20 year old girl as much as as he did. Where she did show her age was a moment like this. She wasn't so far from an age where what her parents' thought carried a lot of weight. "It's hardly a one sided thing, Bella. And I'm sure your parents will be thrilled with me."

Her lip twitched. "My dad's a cop. You're pretty much screwed."

Edward paled. "Well that will be interesting."

"Don't worry. He'll blame it on me."

That comment concerned him, but their food came then. The smell of it had Bella grinning again, so Edward didn't return to the conversation.

Maybe it was because she enjoyed her food so much that Edward ate too. He had had his first full meal in weeks. They both left the restaurant with painfully full bellies.

"See, you don't have have to worry anymore," Bella said, clutching her stomach. "I'm going to have an Indian food baby."

He smiled, amused at her but worried anyway.

She crossed her arms as they walked to the car. "Thank you for tonight. For letting me be a little silly. It's just been so much angst. Between this and finals, tonight I just wanted to be silly and happy for a few hours. I needed it."

"Don't ever apologize for being happy. That's a talent to have. To choose to be happy."

"It was that or go crazy."

Edward grunted, wondering inwardly if that was what he had chosen-to go crazy. "Bella?"

"What?"

Edward would never know what possessed him to say it when he wasn't anywhere near ready. "Would you like like to go with me to my mother's birthday?"

A/N: I know a couple of you really wanted me not to have this baby due when it's due. I promise there is a method to my madness.

Many thanks to my wonderful girls, and thanks to all of you who've had such great things to say. Mwah.