13

Back in L.A., C.J. woke up in her room. She didn't recognize where she was for about one whole second and probably felt better in that second than she had in the last 24 hours. As soon as she sat up, she saw the nurse sitting in the corner.

The older woman got up and walked over to her. She told C.J., "Lunch will be coming in a minute. I heard you refused to eat breakfast so you have to eat everything on the tray. If you don't we will use a feeding tube if we have to. You may think starving yourself..."

C.J. shot back, "I'm not starving myself. Did you ever happen to think that maybe I just didn't want what was on that breakfast tray? That maybe I should be able to think for myself and decide what I want to eat, what I..."

The nurse cut her off, "You don't have the ability right now to do that. You only think you do. Right now we know what is best for you. The sooner you accept that the better."

C.J. took a deep breath, trying to reign in her frustration. She closed her eyes for a second and then said, "Look, I don't know what you think you know about me, but I am more than capable of making that decision for myself. I also do not think I need to stay in this bed all day long so I would appreciate it if..."

The nurse again interrupted her, "Unless the doctor tells us otherwise, you will stay in that bed. You were the one who decided to slit her wrists so you will just have to accept that these orders are in your own best interests."

C.J. tried to explain, "I didn't decide...look, its complicated...fine, if you have to have orders why don't you go get Dr. Freedman and lets ask him, alright?" The nurse didn't seem entirely happy with that but C.J. then added, "He might be the only one able to convince me eat and wouldn't that make your job easier?" She was really trying hard to mask her intense anger.

The nurse nodded and called out into the hallway for another nurse, keeping at least one eye on C.J. which just made her even more angry. She told the other nurse to request Dr. Freedman come down to the room and talk to both of them.

Greg, their private body guard peeked in and gave C.J. a small, reassuring smile which the nurse also didn't appreciate it. That smile made all the difference to C.J. At least one person was on her side here it seemed like.

After a few more tense moments of C.J. and the nurse glaring at each other, Sydney walked in. He had his hands in his doctor jacket and watched the two for just a second before saying, "I heard my presence was requested but I didn't think it was judge a staring contest."

The nurse interrupted, "Its nothing unusual Dr. Freedman, its common for newer patients to fight the system. I told her she had to remain in bed and eat everything I brought her for lunch or we were going to have to resort to more drastic measures. She will get with the program the way they all do in a few days I'm sure. She just needs to hear a doctor say it, that's all."

C.J. shook her head and took a deep breath. Sydney could see this was undoing his efforts this morning to put her mind more at ease. She had to trust him if he was going to be able to help her undo the damage done by a previous psychiatrist. He had already determined by what he had read and Matt had told him, that a real professional had to have been at work here.

So he asked her, "C.J., what is it you want to do? What can I do to help?"

She looked at him, not quite glaring but still angry and said, "I do not need to stay in this bed all day long."

The nurse interrupted before Sydney could say anything, "Look, we have a nice courtyard and gym and even a pool when you abide by the rules. When you can behave, you can have access..."

C.J. then almost shouted, "Behave?!"

Sydney put up his hands stepping between the two and said before they both started shouting at each other, "Hey, hey now...Nurse Ryan, allow me to relieve you for an hour, alright?"

The nurse started to protest, "Dr. Freedman, these are the rules, patients need to understand..."

Sydney interrupted again, "Nurse Ryan I am fully aware of the rules as I was one of the doctors to write them. Please, now I will take full responsibility. You take a break and I will take care of the patient."

The nurse looked unsure but left. C.J. didn't really know what to think, but she appreciated that nurse leaving her for a little while if nothing else. She softly told Sydney, "Thank you."

Sydney then pleasantly asked, "So again I ask, what is it you want to do?"

C.J. curled her feet under her as he sat on the bed and said, "I don't know. I just don't want to lay here like I've been shot or something."

Sydney nodded and the said, "Well, we do have a nice courtyard, how about a walk?"

C.J. nodded and then asked, "It would be nice to take a walk with Matt I guess. Can you get him for me? I'm a little surprised he's not in here."

Sydney then told her, "Well, he had to go run an errand, how about you and I take that walk?"

C.J. looked confused, "What do you mean? He left?" She was trying hard to remain calm but couldn't believe he would just leave her there in a mental hospital.

Sydney was now confused just a little bit. He figured that she would know exactly where he went after what she remembered under hypnosis that morning. He told her to remember. If she didn't, then that could mean a real pro had hidden her own memories from her in layers and that was difficult to do. It was also very difficult to undo. So he asked her, "Yes he did. He had to take a little trip. We figured you would want him to and understand as it relates to the case. You do know where he went, don't you?"

C.J. was starting to panic a little bit, "What do you mean? Why should I know? He didn't tell me, did he?"

Sydney shook his head and answered, "No, but it has to do with what we talked about this morning. Don't you remember?"

C.J. thought for a second and then shook her head, tears starting to form. Sydney knew then that this would be harder than he thought. However, getting her upset was the last thing she needed right now. She caught him off guard when she told him, "Put me under again, make me remember."

She was almost pleading with him, but he knew it was too early to do that again, especially with this new development. So he told her, "I don't think that's a good idea. I appreciate your desire to do whatever is necessary to get better, but I simply can't put you under again that quickly. Look, why don't we take that walk, alright? That should make you feel better and get you out of this bed. There is also a nice little coffee shop with all kinds of sandwiches and pastries downstairs at the far end of the courtyard. I'll buy. What do you say?"

C.J. nodded, feeling defeated again and began climbing out of bed in her sweats, putting her shoes on. She just couldn't believe Matt would leave her there. Where was he? What was it she was supposed to remember?

The two walked out into the courtyard. He was hoping she would initiate conversation. Sydney planned to listen to every word carefully. Everything she told him would help in his treatment of her.

She asked him, "What time is it?" They had just gotten to the rose garden section of the courtyard.

He answered, "Its just past noon. Your husband only left an hour ago. He wants people to think he is still here. All of this has been hard on him too, you know."

C.J. just nodded and then said, "Yeah, well its been a real picnic for me."

Sydney then told her as they kept walking, "I'm not saying it hasn't been hard for you. This isn't a contest as to who feels worse about what's going on here. Everything I've read and, more importantly, what I've seen has told me that the two of you love each other very much. I've been thinking since our meeting this morning that its that love that will pull both of you through this."

C.J. smiled just a little and then said, "I know he loves me." The smile faded when she said, "I just can't believe he'd allow me to be admitted here and then leave me like this without telling me."

Sydney pointed out as she smelt one of the roses, "You've been asleep for the last hour and a half. I was actually thinking you would sleep longer than that."

She then asked, "Why?" They started walking again.

He didn't want to tell her that he instructed her under hypnosis and she didn't follow the command. So he told her, "Well, after hypnosis many patients can find themselves tired. It can be exhausting not just emotionally but also physically."

She asked him, "What did we talk about? I don't remember much." They were getting closer to the bakery at the end of the courtyard and Sydney directed them to make another lap essentially.

He didn't want to get into the memory of the conversation she overheard, but the memory of the party shouldn't be too traumatic. So he told her, "We talked about your husband's 13th birthday party."

She smiled and then chuckled, "You mean the one where he tried to ride Sophie?"

Sydney then laughed, "Sophie? The horse's name was Sophie?"

C.J. nodded and then stopped while Sydney continued to laugh hard. She asked, "What's so funny?"

Sydney then took a deep breath and said, "Its just that I've only known one horse to be named Sophie and about the last thing that horse would do is throw someone." He then took another deep breath, "It also brings back memories for me too of a time in my life that was full of chaos."

C.J. said, "Oh really. Do you want to talk about it?"

That just made him laugh a little more as he said, "That's supposed to be my line, not yours, but sure, why not?" They continued walking, "Earlier I told you I served in Korea, as a psychiatrist. I saw people go through some really horrible things there and then try to cope. It was my job to help them cope. Anyway there was a mobile army hospital I would visit all the time, the 4077th. Their commander had a horse named Sophie. In many ways that horse was what kept him sane."

C.J. then said, "I've been lucky in that I've never had to go to war or see anything horrible like that. Matt did though, he served in Vietnam."

Sydney then said, "Really? Well, you have seen some pretty bad things, I read your file remember? But, you are right in that never having to experience what we did in Korea or any other conflict for that matter is a blessing."

She then said, "I love horses, I could see where having one there would help one cope I guess."

Sydney nodded and smiled, "Yes I think it did help the commander. The others found other ways of coping. Usually involving practical jokes." He chuckled again lightly.

That piqued her interest, "You wouldn't mind sharing some of those with me, would you? I do have a couple of ranch hands to settle a score with once this is all over."

They walked further, Sydney becoming more and more convinced that the walk was helping her. Her planning something for the future was a good sign and he could use that later to help get her released. Those planning suicide don't usually like to discuss the future. So he told her, "Well, the best practical joke was the one that never came." She looked confused so he explained, "You see the chief surgeon was expecting to get pranked and all the other officers made it seem as though they had been pranked. There was a wager between him and another surgeon that the other doctor could prank everyone in 24 hours. The others only made the chief surgeon think they had all been pranked so he was the last one standing. The next morning when he felt victorious the others told them it was all an elaborate prank to make him paranoid. Trust me, it worked. They made him dance on a table singing, You're the Tops with his pants down."

C.J. was thinking it through as Sydney burst out in laughter again. She told him, "That's really sneaky. I like it."

He sat up, took a deep breath and told her, "I do too. The only thing that bothered me about it was they didn't consult me. I could have given them so many other ideas as to how to really get to him."

C.J. then told him as they walked into the bakery, "Do tell."

They ate rather leisurely and then started back. Apparently the nurse was about to call security to go find them when Sydney tried to tell her calmly to just settle down. C.J. had been with him the entire time and he was the doctor, she the nurse. Before leaving C.J. though, he decided to take her back to his office for a second. He knew a nurse change was about to take place and wanted this one to leave so C.J. wouldn't have to listen to her anymore. Later, before he left for the day, he would make sure that one was not assigned to C.J. again.

He told her, "Look, I have a picture in my office of the 4077th. You want to see what all those characters look like? A face to put with the story sorta speak?"

She nodded and the two walked back. He went right over to a bookshelf and pulled a frame off the shelf. C.J. asked, "Are all these pictures people you worked with then?"

He answered, "Well, these are the officers and a couple of the more memorable enlisted from the 4077. The others, yes, mostly. I worked with many units and soldiers from all branches."

She asked, "Is that a man wearing a dress?"

Sydney laughed a little again, "Yeah, Sgt. Klinger. He was hoping for a section 8 or insanity discharge. He wore those to get that. It clearly didn't work, however. I know insane when I see it, and he wasn't insane."

C.J. asked softly, "Am I insane?"

He watched her and then said, "No, you're not. You're injured. Remember? We talked about that."

She nodded and then something caught her eye. She picked up a pair of dog tags with a symbol on it. She asked him, "Are these yours?"

Sydney noticed a change in her posture and the way she seemed to stare at them. He answered her, "No, they belonged to an Italian soldier." He had to take a deep breath himself and for about a second debated whether or not to tell her the story behind them. He decided to and said, "They belonged to a soldier I thought was cured. I was wrong and he ended up doing more harm than good to one particular village. I keep those here to remind me that sometimes I'm wrong."

C.J.'s eyes were still fixated on them. Slowly she asked after blinking a few times, "What does this mean?" She pointed to a design on etched on the dog tags.

Sydney looked at them, studying her and the noticeable change that had transformed her it seemed within 2 minutes. He told her, "I think its a replica of his tattoo. It refers to his family, what family surname he belongs to. Why?"

She started to rub her head and then told him, "I don't know, it just looked familiar that's all. My head hurts a little. I think I'd like to go back and take a nap."

Sydney nodded his head and took her back. This seemed to be what Matt had described to them regarding her reaction to evidence in the case and times in which she would try to harm herself. Therefore he when he left her he gave her what he told her was an aspirin. Instead it was a sleep aid. Sydney knew this was breaking the rules, but then again, he was the doctor. He'd explain it all to the husband later. Right now, C.J. was his priority. After watching her go to sleep, knowing the nurse would be in the room the rest of the night still he left instructions to get him if anything changed and then went to see his other patients.