Disclaimer: I do not own twilight
Carlisle's POV
I was beginning to worry about Jasper. He had been quiet for the rest of the evening and spent the whole time of it cuddled up by my side, fists clenched tightly on my shirt. It was a good job that it was my day off because I would have felt terrible leaving him like this although despite being so close to me, he didn't seem to notice me. He was acting rather distant, almost catatonic.
Not only that, but he was getting rather skittish, jumping and flinching when Emmett would say something so suddenly or when Rosalie dropped her pen on the floor which was why I had moved from the lounge to my study with him so that I can work and keep a close eye on Jasper at the same time. At least that way, he wouldn't seem so startled.
It was beginning to get dark out by the time Jasper seemed a little more responsive. And by responsive, I mean starting his usual habit of chewing my sleeve. I tried to move it so I could start typing but Jasper just pulled my arm back with his hand to bring it closer to his mouth.
"Hey, what have I told you about chewing things?" I scolded him.
His hands just returned to my shirt, my shoulder to be more specific, as he held tightly but it did earn me the 'Jasper' look. The 'Jasper' look is short for the 'I-am-doing-nothing-wrong. You-will-let-me-do-what-I-want' look which is something he uses very often on us. I am beginning to believe that he is very aware of the things he is doing but he wants us to believe that he is right and we are wrong.
"Don't look at me like that, Jasper. You've already ruined some of Alice's shirts and your mother has even found some of yours chewed up and hiding underneath your bed…along with things that have obviously been stolen out of Edward's room" I stated sternly.
Edward had noticed that things had been going missing out of his room and even though he had a rough idea who it could be, I didn't really want to confirm it. Jasper looked away guiltily so I just continued typing away but then after a few more minutes, his eyes were back on me again…looking directly into my eyes when I look back at him.
"What?"
He didn't say anything. This was the third time he decided to play the 'staring game' where I had to figure out what was on his mind. I raised my eye brows, hoping that would be enough to say something or at least do something since speaking isn't usually his option.
The stare was too intimidating to keep looking at so I focused back on to the screen of my computer. There was a knock on my door, where I saw Jasper flinch from the corner of my eye but he repressed a grow.
"Come in" I called.
Edward appeared as he opened the door, taking a quick glance at Jasper before looking back at me.
"Um, mom was gonna drive us to see the firework display. We wasn't sure if you and…Jasper wanted to come?" He asked a little nervously.
Terrible idea. I had forgotten all about the whole 'firework thing'. I knew that my wife and children meant well; fireworks were amazing to look at and an amazing sighting for kids to see for the first time but the problem was the noise. I doubt Jasper could handle it.
If I remember correctly, he had completely lost it by hearing his other brother playing a shooter game so if a violent video game had that effect on Jasper, what about the loud noises that can be heard from miles away. This wasn't good, Jasper was going to have a terrifying night if the display was within hearing distance.
"It's probably best if Jasper and I stay here. He's a little jumpy. You guys go and have fun" I told him, with eyes that begged him to understand.
Edward was smart; he, too, would remember what Jasper had been like with unexpected noises. He smiled lightly and gave a small nod.
"Alright" he mumbled before he left and closed the door quietly.
I focused back on Jasper who, I had just realised was fiddling with the keyboard of my computer. He was exploring the buttons and noticed how they appeared on the screen which caused me to smile at his curiosity. Excuse me for sounding like a teenage girl but as soon as I moved the curser on the screen, the look on his face was too cute and priceless. He was like a cat watching fish in a tank…he couldn't quite get to what was moving behind the screen but he attempted to get it anyway. His head followed the direction of the arrow which made me chuckle.
When I heard the rest of my family leave the house, I decided to turn off the screen and walk back into the lounge with Jasper trailing behind. He was still a little tense and it was my job to keep him calm. Jasper tugged on my sleeve to get my attention and once he had it, he spoke.
"I hungry" he said in a pleading voice.
We were still left with the issue of Jasper not being able to swallow solid foods which unfortunately left him to become hungry more frequently. I gave him a sympathetic smile and rested a hand on his shoulder.
"Do you want me to make you some soup?" I asked.
He grimaced and shook his head and I felt bad for him, knowing that he was beginning to get sick of eating the same things over again.
"No, jus' want milk" he mumbled.
It was the fact that he only requested milk that made me realise that something was really 'off' about him. The Jasper I knew would have asked for chocolate milk. I frowned but I walked towards the kitchen and took the milk out of the fridge and poured some into his bottle and then passed it to him once I put on the cap. He took it and held it in his hand tightly; his other hand returned to my sleeve after I put the milk back into the fridge.
Walking him back into the lounge, I sat on the sofa, knowing that he would do the same. I watched him for a while and saw how he just stared at the bottle of milk in his hand. What was up with him?
"What's wrong sweetheart?" I asked gently.
He shrugged and looked away which only made me want to pull him closer to me.
"Tell me, Jasper" I begged him.
Instead of replying, he just rested his chin on my shoulder and closed his eyes. Getting the impression that I wasn't going to get any answers out of him, I grabbed the TV remote control and turned it on. Jasper's ears flickered at the sound but he made no further movement. His lack of interest in the television had me guessing that Emmett had probably taught him how it works so he doesn't appear intrigued. I made sure that I stuck to channels that wouldn't contain noises that tended startle Jasper….there goes the History channel.
It only took about 15 minutes to hear Jasper's calm breathing as he slept against me; his body relaxed. I quietly switched off the TV and lifted Jasper gently so that I could carry him into his bed. He whimpered a little but he was dreaming so I pulled the comforter over his body to keep him warm since he has been shivering recently; the weather was cold after all. I carefully kissed his forehead and left his bottle of milk by his side in case he woke up thirsty again. I didn't want a repeat of last time.
Xoxoxoxoxoxo
It was when I heard the first firework go off in the distance when I also heard that it was followed by a loud crash that was most definitely coming from Jasper's room. I rushed to his room in time for the second firework to go off so by the time I opened Jasper's door, he bolted past me and I chased after him.
Firework number three caused him to whimper so loudly that it broke my heart but at least it led me in the direction of where he was hiding now. The fourth was so loud that I heard another crash which came from my and Esme's room. When I walked in, I noticed a vase smashed on the floor and heard the sounds of heavy and shaky breathing…the way a child would sound if they were hiding from a monster and praying they wouldn't be found. And with Jasper thinking like a typical child, I knew where he was hiding.
I kneeled down onto the carpet, staying away from the broken bits of the vase and peeked under the bed. As expected, I found Jasper pushed as far he could against the wall with his body shaking violently in fear, his eyes wide as he watched me frightfully.
"Jasper, it's only me. It's daddy, remember?" I spoke gently. "You're gonna be okay. You're safe here"
Despite my reassurance, Jasper just shook his head and looked around as if he was watching out for whatever monsters Jasper was imagining. He cautiously made a move towards me but instead of moving out, he pulled on my shirt and tried to make me go under the bed too.
"Daddy, here safe. You have to keep safe" he panicked.
"What's out here? Tell me why it isn't safe out here, Jasper?" I asked him.
I wanted to have an idea of what was scaring him so much. Jasper looked around again, this time having a tear fall from his eye. Another firework was heard from the distance which caused Jasper to scream and jump back.
"Daddy please! I no want you to be hurt" he cried.
Was this how he acted when he heard fireworks go off in previous years? He must have been so afraid and nobody was there to comfort him. I desperately wanted to know why loud noises startled him so badly although I already had my suspicions. Especially after the way he reacted when he heard Emmett playing a gun game. Was every loud noise like a gunshot to him?
"Shhhhhh, it's alright, Jasper. Nobody is going to hurt you or me. I'll keep you safe, I promise" I comforted.
He continued to cry so I carried on trying to comfort him. I decided to try a different approach; one that would suggest that if there was something out there, he would still be okay.
"Shhhh. Whatever is out there can't get in the house. You're safe with me, okay? Come out of there" I tried.
His crying turned to whimpers as he debated whether or not he should come out. I opened up my arms, giving him the option to let me hold him close; a way that would make him feel protected. He put a hand through his hair (a gesture I suspect he may have copied from me) and then put his hands over his face.
"I'm scared, daddy. I need be bwave" he whimpered.
With that he balled his hands into fists and began to hit himself in the face repetitively.
"Hey, stop that. Stop it, Jas, you don't need to be brave. It's okay to be scared sweetheart. Come out here and we'll talk about it" I coaxed him.
Another firework when off in the distance and Jasper flinched back once more. He squeezed his eyes shut for a few seconds and then opened them again.
"Pwomise you not let them hurt me?" He asked warily.
I smiled sympathetically at him. "I promise. I won't ever let anyone hurt you" I told him meaningfully.
Satisfied, Jasper very slowly crawled out from underneath the bed, like a cautious animal. As soon as he was fully out, he held onto me very tightly; his arms were wrapped around me and his fingers grabbed tightly onto my back. His head was pressed against my chest where the sound of my breathing was calming to him.
My back was resting against the bed as I held him securely throughout the continuous sounds of the fireworks and thankfully, his flinching and jumping was getting smaller after each one. I wasn't sure how long it was when they finally stopped but that was when I noticed that Jasper had once again, fallen asleep and looking more peaceful than he had not too long ago.
I was afraid to move, knowing that I might accidentally wake him. He needed to sleep; it was one of the only times when he wasn't on guard so for that reason, I remained in the same position until my family got back home from the firework display.
Esme got the others to quieten down when she found the two of us in our room, also aware of Jasper's need for sleep. I put Jasper to bed only after the rest of my children were quiet in their rooms and even after that, I still stayed with him for a little while.
When I finally got to bed, Esme was still awake…and full of questions.
"What happened to him tonight?" She asked as soon as I got into bed.
I sighed, trying to think of a way to put this.
"He heard the fireworks" I stated quietly.
Esme frowned, understanding what happened with so little words.
"Poor boy. He's so new to everything. Sometimes it fascinates him, other times it scares him. He's afraid of loud noises for a reason, Carlisle"
She looked at me in the eyes as she said the last part and she probably suspected as much as me but until Jasper talks about it, we won't know.
Sorry if the ending suck, I wasn't sure how else to finish the chapter. I'll try to update as soon as I can…I wouldn't mind if any of you guys have any suggestions for further chapters as I don't have anything else planned…I'm just going where my mind is taking me. In fact, suggestions might even help me get a chapter up sooner (It takes me a few days to think of something to happen, then a few day to find the motivation to write the chapter and then another few days to finish the chapter in the spare time I had in writing it)
Ok, I'm gonna stop babbling now so that I can give you time to….REVIEW!