Chapter Five: The Balled of Joxn and David
Joxn raced down the ship into the jail cells. On the center cell lay the bleeding naked body of his ship cook, David. "They whipped me!" groaned David.
"Looks like Buttholes and I have something in common after all..." thought Joxn as he helped David to his feet, trying not to touch David's bleeding gashes. David whimpered in pain but held still as Joxn bent down to grab David's bloody pirate sword.
"It'll be all right, love" Joxn whispered in David's ear and wrapped his arms around him. However, hearing screams above the ship, Joxn knew he had no time left so taking David's hand, he pulled him towards the ship deck.
When the two reached the deck, Joxn was alarmed at the sight before him. There stood Jeremy and Steve, first mates of the S.S. Buttholes. Knowing he was outnumbered two to one, by much stronger pirates, and had David to protect, he knew this could be it. Joxn quickly set David down behind him and brandished his pirate sword once more to defend his shipmate. Steve and Jeremy rapidly drew their sabers and swung at Joxn at the same moment. Joxn easily parried their blows, but he knew in order to escape, he had to gain the upper hand.
Joxn steadily drove the Buttholes duo backwards and ferociously defended David. The thought of David bleeding next to him inspired him to fight with all his power. He felt like a cat defending his territory, what rightfully belonged to him. Suddenly Jeremy stumbled, and Joxn unarmed him and made a deep slash across his throat. As Jeremy fell down unconsciously, Joxn picked up the free saber and fought using Jeremy's sword as skillfully as using his own. He began attacking Steve with both swords. He parried a blow from the left, from the right, flipped behind the sail to confuse Steve. As Steve slashed empty air, Joxn jumped up from he other side and sliced through the sail and Steve's chest in one swift motion. His heart was racing as he sprinted back to the post where he had left David.
Joxn was horrified at the sight ahead of him. David's limp body laid at the back of the ship, cold and lifeless. Joxn gently laid his hand on David's pirate sword, which now felt cold and lifeless without the warmth of it's master. John blinked (h style) as hot tears rolled down his face. "NOOOO!" he cried. "NOOOO!"
Joxn felt as if his heart was ripped out of his chest. Maxwell the parrot flew over and landed on his shoulder.
"Ohhh David, ohhh David" Joxn sang softly... "Squak" agreed Maxwell. (The following song is to the tune of "Because I Got High" by Afroman)
I was gonna save David's life
But my sword is too short
I was gonna destroy Buttholes' ship
But my sword is too short
Now David is cold and lifeless and I know why
Why maaaaaan?
Because my sword is too short
My sword is too short
My sword is too short
Bah da buh buh buh
Pirate Captain Joxn passed out from pain...