A/N: If you're seeing this a/n, I convinced someone to post this for me so I could go to Disneyland with this done. Whomever you are, you are an amazing person and I probably don't deserve you! (But I am writing about Carlisle's penis for you, so ya know…)

Bwahahaha! It's all part of my diabolical plan to take over the worldddd- Capricorn75

"I'm, um. I'm sorry, Dad." Bella sat down across from her father, setting a bowl in front of him. "All we have is oatmeal. Again."

Her father picked up his spoon, stirring in the brown sugar she'd set out. "That's fine. I appreciate it." He seemed content enough as he stirred the sugar and milk into the oatmeal. "I thought you went to the store yesterday."

Bella put her own spoon down, any appetite she might have had gone. "I went." She wiped her hands on her knees, trying to still the fitful wringing. "Mr. Newton." She had to swallow, telling herself it was ridiculous that her throat closed off at the mention of his name. "Mr. Newton was there. He, um. He said some things, and I left."

Charlie put down his spoon to look at her. "What kind of things?"

"Don't worry about it, Dad," she said to her bowl of oatmeal. "He just doesn't like me. He's never liked me."

"Well, he doesn't want to hear what I think about his son of a bitch kid," Charlie muttered. He shook his head and tucked into his oatmeal. "It's all pissing in the wind, Bells. Don't take it personally. His kid may be a bastard, but it's still his kid, and it wasn't a great situation. I think we can safely say that now, right?"

Bella's stomach twisted sickeningly. "Yeah."

They lapsed into silence for a few minutes, Charlie eating and Bella pushing her oatmeal around her bowl, fighting nausea. Her father cleared his throat as though he was aware of the heaviness of the atmosphere but was, as always, unsure of how to handle it. "Well, if you're worried about running into him, maybe you can take a drive to Port Angeles. You hardly leave the house. A drive might do you some good. You could take the cooler if you needed something for the freezer."

Bella balled her hands into fists on her lap, trying to get them to stop shaking. "Yeah," she said, her voice thin. "Maybe I'll do that." She pushed herself to her feet, the sound of the chair scraping across the floor loud in the quiet house. "I'm going to take a shower. Have a good day at work, Dad."

As she hurried blindly toward the stairs, Bella's lungs began to squeeze tight, her airways constricted. Near the top of the stairs she had to stop and grip the banister to keep from falling, her legs trembling too hard to hold her upright. It was all the worst then, because as she clung to the banister, a wave of dizziness overwhelmed her, and she flinched as memories of falling threatened to drive rational thought from her head.

She fought it, pulling herself up the last few stairs and stumbling to the bathroom. Her hands shook so badly it took her ages to turn the water on and longer still before she could lift her leg over the lip of the tub. Finally, though, she sat at the bottom of the tub, hot water coursing over her, breathing in raggedly with her head resting on her knees.

"Stop it," she growled through gritted teeth, clenching her hands into fists and digging her fingernails into her palms. "Just stop it."

Bella hardly remembered the days and weeks after Mike was arrested. Those days existed in a fog of confusion and fear. Nothing about the world made sense then, and time passed in lurches or dragging lulls. Everything, every thought, even her reflection in the mirror was warped and wrong.

When she'd returned home a few weeks before, Charlie's eyes had shone with pride for the first time since she'd been a very little girl. "One semester down," he'd said. "See? Your life is finally back on track."

She'd slunk down on the passenger seat beside him, thinking about the baby and how disappointed he would be when he knew.

Since then, she'd felt the dark abyss she'd clawed and dragged herself away from two years before lurking at the corners of her vision. She was jumping at shadows again, haunted by fear and the specter of every mistake she'd made in this town, in this house.

"Stop it," she chanted to herself, rocking back and forth.

It was pathetic how little it had taken to reduce her to this. She must have looked like a crazy person, rocking back and forth under the water still fully clothed. And why? Because some asshole in a store full of people had been mean to her?

And she was going to be someone's mother.

Calm spread over her, but it wasn't a welcome peace. No, it was that empty, desolate ache that smothered her fear and let her breathe again, but took joy and hope as its price.

Bella pulled herself to her feet and went about removing her sodden clothes robotically. Nude, she ran her hands over her skin and cupped her palms over the swell at her belly. At sixteen weeks, the bump was perceptible though thankfully not with her clothes on. She pressed down, feeling the hard knot and not really thinking about anything. She stood still and breathed until the water went cold.

Hours later, clothed and swaddled in a blanket, she was still ice cold. She was curled up on the couch, and though the TV was on, she wasn't watching it. She thought about asking Charlie if he wanted to go out for lunch. She thought about doing what he said and heading for Port Angeles to shop. But minutes turned into hours. She missed lunch, and the idea of going to Port Angeles alone made her shudder. She thought about calling Jake, but she didn't do that either.

At two in the afternoon there was a knock on the door. Bella started, her heart pounding erratically as her mind snapped back to the present. It took only an instant for her mind to conjure up a worst possible scenario. What if it was Mr. Newton?

What if it was Mike?

Curling her arm protectively around her belly, Bella crept to the window beside the door. Carefully, she looked out. She stared at the closed door in disbelief. He knocked again, and Bella opened the door so she could stare at him directly.

"Edward?" The word came out choked.

His smile was tentative. "Hi."

They stared at each other for another few awkward seconds before Bella realized with a start that she was being rude. "Uh, come in." She stepped back to let him in, still staring. She wasn't asleep-that much she knew. Had she hit her head?

As he turned to her, his eyes drew together in concern. His hand came up, and she flinched backward. "Sorry," he said. "You look…"

Bella flushed and turned away from him, running her fingers through her hair. "Like crap. I know."

"No," he said. He touched her arm, a brief, quick touch, and she didn't start. "You're lovely. Tired but lovely."

A small smile tugged at her lips. He was full of shit, and they both knew it. Still, there was that note of sincerity in his tone that made her feel better anyway. She wrapped her arms around herself, looking up at him. "What are you doing here?"

He seemed nervous. "You sounded really down when I talked to you yesterday. I don't know. I felt like I had to be here. I would have asked, but you would have told me you were fine."

"I'm…" Bella's words died on her lips, and she covered her mouth with her hand, a wave of emotion hitting her hard. She closed her eyes, breathing through her nose until she was sure she wasn't going to cry. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

He took a step toward her, and that was all she needed. She flew at him, wrapping her arms around his waist and ducking her head against his chest. "You're fucking crazy, but I'm glad you're here," she whispered, hating the way her voice shook.

She was more glad than she knew how to express. For the first time in weeks, she felt as though she were on solid ground. It was disorienting, like stepping off a ship onto dry land and still feeling the back and forth motion of the ocean but steadier. His arms were warm and strong around her, and she found she liked the way his presence engulfed her.

"Oh good," he said, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I was afraid you'd be mad at me."

"Maybe later." Bella gave him one last squeeze and stepped back.

As she did, she swayed, and Edward lurched forward to catch her again. He brought her up against his hard body, and Bella blinked as her head spun. "Whoa," she said.

He looked at her with concern, cupping his hand against her suddenly clammy cheek. "When was the last time you ate?"

Bella thought about it and couldn't remember right off. Had she even managed a bite of oatmeal that morning?

"That's what I thought. Come sit down. I'll make you something to eat."

She let him lead her to the couch and sank down gratefully, still dizzy. "There's, um. There's really nothing to eat. I never got groceries. I've been putting it off for a week because…" She swallowed around a thick lump in her throat.

"Okay. Well, how about this. I passed a couple of diners. I'll go get you something from there. Then, if you make me a list, I'll get the groceries."

An irrational wave of terror went through Bella at the thought of Edward being in the same vicinity as Mr. Newton. It was stupid. Mr. Newton had no idea who Edward was, and Edward could and would stand up for himself. Still, she felt protective of him. "You don't have to do that," she said.

He brushed a limp stand of hair away from her eyes. "I'll be right back."

In the twenty minutes he was gone, Bella made herself a little more presentable. She was too tired to be embarrassed at the state he'd found her in, but she felt better when she'd changed out of sweats into jeans and brushed her hair. The act of getting herself together had the effect of clearing her head, and that brought with it a whole new slew of worries.

She was distracted by the smell of the soup and sandwiches Edward brought home. Her stomach gave a loud rumble and every thought that didn't involve getting to the food left her. She sat and ate eagerly, dipping her sandwich in the soup and humming appreciatively.

"Sorry," she said, catching Edward watching her. She wiped at the corner of her mouth. "I've been taking care of myself. I promise. It's just been a rough couple of days."

He took a bite of his sandwich, chewed, and swallowed. "When things get rough, that's when we need someone to take care of us, I think." He touched his hand briefly to hers. "That's what I'm here for."

Warmth spread through her chest to her cheeks. It was nice to think about someone caring for her. It was nice, but it was also frightening to her. She let Mike take care of her once.

Bella shook that thought away before it could spoil her appetite. She knew the difference between what Mike thought he was doing and Edward being there for her. Besides, he had a right to be concerned for her health. Bella hadn't fed herself, which meant she hadn't fed the baby either.

She took a shaky breath, looking down at her soup as she stirred it around and around. "So you're going to make me get it over with, huh? Tell my dad."

"What?" His eyes were wide as he reached out again to touch her hand. "I'm not here to force you into anything."

"Well, what do you think is going to happen?" The food in Bella's stomach was hardening into stone. "I don't know if you noticed, but you're not incorporeal."

His lips quirked. "But that doesn't mean he has to know I'm here, if that's not what you want. I'll leave before he comes home, and I can come back when he leaves for work tomorrow."

Bella wrinkled her nose, new questions occurring to her. "Don't you have to work? How long are you here? You really are crazy, you know that?"

"I have no pressing deadlines right now, and I haven't taken more than a few days off here and there in the last decade. Let me worry about work." He shifted in his seat, looking back at her with an open expression. "As for how long I'm here, that's up to you. Though if you don't want to tell your father yet, I still want to be with you when you do tell him."

Feeling better, Bella's appetite returned full force, and she finished all of her lunch and the last half of Edward's sandwich. She really was hungry, and she knew he did like to take care of her. It was easier to let him when he had already flown halfway across the country for her. No sense in not indulging him when he was already here.

"Hey," she said half an hour later when they'd moved to the living room. "You want to feel something?"

"What's that."

Bella wasn't sure what made her do it. All things considered, it should have been an awkward thing to do, but then again, everything about their relationship should have been awkward. They were barely friends, and yet there was this connection between them.

And again, that was what drew Bella to Edward. As uncertain as she was about being a mother, about the whole having-a-baby clusterfuck, she wanted permission to be at least a little awed. Especially here in Forks, there was no one she could talk to.

Maybe that was why she scooted over, pressing herself against his side. She took his hand and put it to the taut ball of skin under her shirt.

Too late she realized it might have been a mistake. She was far from oblivious to the fact that Edward was struggling. She only understood that struggle to a point. She knew what it was to fight something no one could see, for it to weigh you down and warp reality. But she had no idea what it was like to lose a child he had conceived and planned with a woman he loved. She wondered often just how badly it hurt him to watch her go through this pregnancy when he remembered going through it with Kate and his son.

Bella felt Edward's body go stiff, heard his breath catch. She let go of his hand, but before she could find the words to apologize, he relaxed. His breath came out in a slow gust, and he moved his hand of his own volition to feel the roundness of her belly.

His fingers were gentle, and the tender touch sent delicious tingles up her spine. Bella felt her cheeks flush hot. "I don't know," she said, suddenly feeling somewhat foolish and out of depth in this intimate position. "I just thought it was kind of...uh. Neat? I guess."

Edward's breath shook, and he didn't answer. He ran his fingers over her skin wonderingly, cupped the bump in one large hand. She turned her head, chancing a look at him, and found his eyes were unfocused. He was staring forward with a look that was part heartbreak and part something she couldn't fathom.

"I...I'm sorry. I didn't think-"

"No," he said quickly. He rested his free hand around her shoulder and pulled her closer against him. His hand hadn't left her stomach. In fact, he'd begun to stroke his fingers on either side of her bellybutton. "No. I just… I know it's real. It's been real. But…"

Bella put her hand next to his, feeling with him. "I know. I felt it before too, but not like this. I think I tried not to think about it until maybe a few days ago." She sighed. "Now I can't stop touching it. Kind of weird, huh?"

"Weird," he repeated. With the hand that rested on her shoulder, he reached up, brushing his fingertips down her cheek. "You're beautiful, do you know that?"

Bella tilted her head up, and though she'd been the one to sit so close to him, she was still somehow shocked to find his face so near hers. The heartbreak in his eyes had eased, and he looked at her with something that seemed like awe, as though he was seeing her for the first time. Her heart skipped a beat, and every inch of her skin seemed to glow warmer.

"I'm sorry I'm so bad at this," Edward murmured, his thumb stroking the line of her jaw. "You deserve to be told every day how beautiful you are. And it's true, Bella. This…" He cupped her belly again. "This only makes you more beautiful."

The voice in the back of her head telling her all the reasons why she shouldn't be so close to him, shouldn't be tucked under his arms, shouldn't be wishing he would come closer, were no louder than the buzz of insects zipping around nearby-annoying when they flew by her ear, but otherwise easy to ignore.

"Bella." He said her name on a whisper. His eyes seemed to trace the features of her face, lingering on her lips. "I'm so messed up about all this. I'm sorry. You deserve so much better than me."

His words were incongruous to his tone. He spoke with his voice pitched low, like a lover whispering sweet nothings instead of tortured confessions, and it was hard to remember he wasn't. She had no idea what to say to his words, no idea what to think at all. In fact, she didn't want to think. With his face so near hers, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him. It wouldn't take anything at all. There were only a few scant inches between his lips and hers.

The front door opened then, and her father's voice calling her name was one of the only things on the planet that could have popped the warm bubble around them. "Hey, Bells. I'm-"

Charlie cut off as Edward and Bella both flung themselves to opposite ends of the couch.

"Dad," Bella said in a choked tone at the same time Edward said, "Sir."

Charlie looked from Bella to Edward then back to his daughter. "What the hell is going on here?" he demanded, crossing his arms.

Bella opened her mouth but not a single word came out.

A/N: Many thanks to my lovelies, my songster, jessypt, myonlyheroin, and barburella.

So! :D This should go well, right?