18

Although it was late, Matt was able to share everything with Sydney. Sydney really hadn't reacted to much of what Matt had told him. That bothered Matt and he asked, "I don't understand...you don't seem that surprised and you don't seem that upset. I thought..."

Sydney interrupted with his brows lifted, "You thought I should shout or scream?"

Matt answered, "Not exactly, but..."

Sydney then nodded and said, "Mr. Houston, while I would like to say I'm surprised at what this Peter Delaney and his mentor psychiatrist has done, this is what I suspected." He stood up and went to his desk where five large books sat. "I've been going through some old texts myself and I think I know how to rid C.J. of those memories and that programming."

Matt sat up straighter, "You do? I thought you said earlier..."

Sydney then interrupted, "I know what I said and that still goes. I won't promise or guarantee this will work, but I'm convinced that the only way to undo this damage is to have her relive the experience through carefully guided hypnosis."

Matt shook his head and said, "Delaney told me that if we do that, she will lose her mind. She'll stop functioning. All that will be left is a shell..." The words were catching in his throat.

Sydney looked down for a second and then walked back over to Matt. "That is the risk and yes, I know it is a big one, but I think the love the two of you share is stronger than the fear that is controlling her. I think I can prove that tonight even."

Matt asked confused now, "What do you mean?"

Sydney sat down again, "She's been lightly sedated most of the day. Tonight I want to take her off that and I want you to sleep in the room with her. I want the three of us to discuss her going under tomorrow morning to relive what happened. We need to explain to her everything that has happened and why we need to do this, share all our theories. She needs to know we trust her, but more important than that, that you trust her. If she tries something after you fall asleep, then we may have to come up with a different plan, but I'm betting that she doesn't. Either way, it will tell us what steps we need to take next."

Matt said, "If she tries something and I'm asleep..."

Sydney shook his head and said, "We have cameras in every room. They're hidden and I can have someone monitoring the two of you all night."

Matt asked, "You sure this will work?"

Sydney could tell he was worried sick still, "Yes I am." Then he sat back and asked, "Mr. Houston, I've read up on both you and C.J. Never has it seemed that you were unsure of yourself or anything you set out to do. Why are letting doubts creep in now? Your demeanor seems so unlike everything I read about you."

Matt answered, "C.J. is my life." He shook his head, "I've always taken risks in my life, whether out on the ranch with an uncooperative horse, in the military, my business, or as a private investigator, but losing C.J...I can handle losing the money I've made and I can handle losing my business, but I can't lose her. I know you think I've always handled everything with confidence, and I have, with only a couple of exceptions." He looked down for a second and said, "I lost a woman I fell in love once and asked to marry at the hands of a serial killer. That same man found a look alike and did it all over again to me. I really thought I was in love then, but I had no idea. A few months ago I really did think C.J. had died. I can't live with pain, I know that." He looked back at Sydney. "My love for C.J. is so much deeper than those other relationship ever were. I've known her most of my life, she's a part of me, not just my wife or my best friend. If she doesn't come out of this...I won't either."

Sydney then asked, "If you've known C.J. most of life, how did she handle you falling in love with someone else?"

Matt smiled for a second through a tear, "She always stood by me. Even when I was making a mistake and she knew it. She watched me date woman after woman, mostly just flings. She never judged me, just was always there to pick me up if I was the one who fell too hard. When I almost married twice, she was there, standing right beside me. She told me later, she just wanted me to be happy even if it wasn't with her. Every case that tore me up, every time I wasn't sure of myself or doubted a call I made on a case, she was right there. She's my strength, Sydney. I can't live without her."

Sydney then said, "That's what I'm talking about. There is no greater love than when someone is willing to walk away from the person they care so much for, just so they are happy. I am confident C.J. will come through this, but it will be very, very difficult for her."

Matt nodded and said, "So, we do this tomorrow...that means tonight may be my last night with her." He was having a hard time checking his emotions again.

Sydney then told him, "If you want, I can delay the camera feed for an hour once you get in there."

Matt asked, feeling a little uncomfortable with where the conversation was now heading, "You mean...you think I...I mean we...should..."

Sydney shrugged and then grabbed her file as the two walked out, "I think if the two of you need a few minutes, or an hour alone, it would be good for both of you. It would only reinforce to C.J. and to you how much the two of you love each other."

They got down to her room and Matt stopped for a second just holding the doorknob. Sydney came up behind him and told him, "I left instructions, nothing will turn on until midnight. You two will have an hour. First though, why don't you wake her up and then we can talk to her, explain everything." He nodded and went in.

For the first time since they had arrived, C.J. did not have a nurse sitting in the room watching her. Matt walked slowly over to her bed. The restraints had been removed and she was sleeping peacefully.

He brushed his hand over her forehead and whispered, "I love you so much, C.J. Oh, C.J., what am I gonna do if this doesn't work out right..."

C.J. stirred and her eyes fluttered open. Matt sat down on the bed at her hip. She looked at him, confused for a second and then asked, "Matt...what's going on?"

Matt swallowed and then told her, "I just got back and I wrapped up the whole case, honey." He took the palm of one hand and put it to her cheek, brushing the hair from it and then leaned over to kiss her softly. "I love you," was all he said as he sat back up.

She asked him, "You wrapped up the case?" Then she sat up, "You mean, you found out who killed my parents and they're in jail now?"

Matt took a deep breath and said, "They aren't in jail, they're dead. You don't have to worry about them anymore. They'll never come after you to hurt you again. I made sure of that."

She nodded her head and swallowed, "So who..."

Matt shook his head and said, "No, not tonight. Honey, you'll know everything tomorrow." At that point Sydney walked in.

He came right over and stood behind Matt. He asked, "C.J. we need to talk about how to end this nightmare for you tomorrow. How are you feeling? Are you awake enough, do you think?"

C.J. nodded and then said, "This will end tomorrow?" She seemed confused.

Sydney explained, "I think so." He took a deep breath, "C.J. what I've concluded is that when your parents were killed, you were put under hypnosis by a professional psychiatrist. He gave you commands, told you to do things, whenever you started to remember your parents or their deaths. I believe that the only way to deprogram your mind is to put you under again, under my guidance, and then reverse those commands. How do you feel about that?"

Sydney and Matt both studied her closely as she answered, "I don't know." She swallowed, "Scared I guess. But, this will mean I remember everything and I'll remember even after the hypnosis..."

Sydney nodded his head. Matt then took her hand and told her, "I'll be there with you, every second. I'm not leaving you for even one moment. I'll hold your hand the whole time if that helps."

The look in his eyes told C.J. that he was terrified for her and the concern in Sydney's caused her to ask, "What's the risk? I can tell by looking at both of you there has to be a big one."

Sydney nodded as Matt looked down. 'Damn' he thought to himself, 'I should've remembered how easily she can read me.' The last thing he wanted was for her to doubt this. She needed to trust Sydney in order for it to work.

Sydney answered, "The risk is that we've been told by the man who was a part of the hypnosis originally, that your mind will go blank when you do remember. I have experience in cases like yours, not exactly like yours but similar. That risk is very real. There is no telling at what point your mind will return to."

She asked, "What do you mean?" Her eyes were now showing concern.

Sydney answered, "You could very well go back to thinking you are 9 years old, or you may think its 2 years ago, or you could come right back to us. The real concern is that if the original commands are stronger than the ones I give you, you won't come back at all."

C.J. swallowed and saw Matt trying to keep his emotions in check, still looking down. She asked, "You mean, I would be a vegetable."

Sydney answered, "We prefer to use the term non responsive, but yes."

C.J. swallowed again and asked, "What if I don't want to remember?"

Sydney answered, "You could probably just leave here. Those responsible for the hypnosis are mostly gone and you could probably lead a normal life. However, this would never leave you and there is always the possibility that something could trigger those commands and catch you off guard. At that point, it very well could cost you your life or someone close to you, their life. It would all depend on the situation."

C.J. looked at Matt and asked, "What do you think?"

Matt just looked back at her and said, "This has to be your decision, C.J. Whatever you decide, I'll be with you 100%. If you want to walk right out of here and try to forget this, we will. I can hire body guards to watch you whenever we aren't together to protect you for the rest of our lives, if that's what you want."

C.J. then said, "What if I think its 2 years ago, what if I forget our marriage, our lives..." She was becoming agitated.

Matt sensed this and reached out to stroke her face and told her, "Then I'll woo you all over again. I promise I won't stop until you agree to marry me again. I'm never leaving you C.J., I mean that."

On the verge of tears she said, "What if I'm 9 or I don't come back at all?" She started to cry.

Matt took her softly in his arms and whispered through his own tears, "I'll take care of you for the rest of your life. I'll do whatever is necessary, work with whatever specialist or doctor or whoever until you come back to me. I'm never leaving your side."

Sydney then said, "Hey now, I do happen to know what I'm doing." They broke their embrace, but Matt still pushed back a tendril of her hair behind her ear as Sydney continued, "I have a theory of my own. I firmly believe you will come right back to us. C.J. in every instance when you were acting under those orders, the only thing that broke that hold on you was your husband. Him telling you he loved you or holding you. I really do think your love for each other is stronger than those commands and I do believe you will come out of hypnosis and know exactly where you are and what you're doing."

She took a deep breath and then said, "Ok, let's do it." Matt and Sydney both smiled at her.

Sydney told them as he started to walk out, "Alrighty then, I'll see you two in the morning. I'm sorry Mr. Houston, but if you want to sleep here tonight, you will have to sleep in this room. The guest room is taken. I hope that's ok."

Matt nodded knowing that Sydney was saying that so C.J. could pass this final test. If she slept through the night and did not try to harm herself, then they knew she was ready. If she did something, then they would have to figure out a plan B. Matt held C.J. close for a second, praying everything would be fine before releasing her, telling her he had to go collect his things. He did and she took a deep breath, knowing this could be their last night together.

He put his hand back to her face when he returned and started kissing her softly. The two continued to do this until both had shed their clothes and Matt was positioned over her, softly and gently making love to her. They held on to each other afterward before falling asleep in each others arms, whispering terms of endearment to one another, just in case this were their last opportunity to do so.