20

Sydney was getting a little choked up himself at hearing her recount her father's death. He knew they had to press on however. So he told her, "Alright, now I want you to take a deep breath. That day is over now. You said your mother came home and the police took you to a hotel for the night. You've packed some things, including a jewelry box for your ring, the one you said your parents gave you for your 9th birthday, and that gun. You're safe again."

C.J. took a deep breath and said, "They said I have to go back to school, but I don't want to. Those stupid police officers didn't work fast enough to help Daddy. They tried not to tell me exactly, but I know. Daddy had a big...I mean his head...that man destroyed it..." She was starting to breath heavy again.

So Sydney interrupted, "We know about his head wound. You and your mother went to the funeral and now you have people telling you life must go on. Do you go back to school while you and your mother live in this hotel?"

C.J. nodded and said, "Yes. They didn't let me take much, but my jewelry box, my backpack and my lunchbox, they let me take them. I take my lunch everyday, Mommy says it works better for their budget and she gives me better stuff to eat anyway. My only real bad food treat are cheese crackers in the shape of little animals."

Sydney then asked, trying to bring in some positive memories along with the bad, "So you like cheese animal crackers. Do you get them often?"

C.J. answered, "Only when I'm good. The only nice police man, Mr. Palpos also eats them. They were in his desk and he gave me some after they came to get Daddy. Mommy bought me a big box. She was crying when she came to that police station and hugged me so tight I couldn't breathe."

Sydney then asked, "You were with your Mommy for a week and then you didn't go to school for a while. The first day you missed school, what happened?"

C.J. took a deep breath. "I was walking like I always do from the parking lot to the 4th and 5th grade wing. A man in a black car pulled up to the sidewalk. I had just gotten out of Mommy's car in front of the school. I didn't think he'd just jump out, but he did. He grabbed me and pushed me into the car. Then the car took off fast but then stopped so fast I hit the seat in front of me, I was in the back seat. I can hear Mommy screaming but the man just got out. He has a gun and he points it at me. He's telling her to get in or he'll kill me the way he killed Daddy. She gets in. Mommy is so scared I can tell. She starts crying, asking why they can't just leave us alone and that Daddy is dead. Then she is begging them to drop me off at a fire station and just take her. She keeps saying that I don't know anything and she does and she will give them everything if they just let me go." Her breath was becoming more and more irregular as she was terrified and still traumatized by her father's death.

Sydney then asked, "Ok, so you're in a car with your mother. Is she talking to you?"

C.J. then, through more tears answers, "Yes...she patting my hand and then put her arms around me whispering how much she loves me and will do anything to protect me." She started crying harder and then softly said, "I know we're going to die...I just know it...just like Daddy. I just can't tell Mommy that."

Matt was having a hard time breathing again, still inching closer to her. Sydney had to motion for him to get back and was rewarded with a glare from Matt. He told C.J., "Remember what I told you, you are physically safe. No one can hurt you. Take a deep breath. Now where did they take you?"

C.J. took a deep breath and answered, "A big empty building. They put ropes on me and Mommy, I'm so scared. They then put us in different places where we can't see each other." C.J. then spent the next hour reliving the next two weeks. They would only put them together at night and then the next morning remove her mother. C.J. didn't know what they were doing to her, but she knew it was bad. Her mother would scream for hours on end. Between the screams she would hear her mother yell out, "I swear, I was the one home! She knows nothing! Please, do whatever to me, but let her go!"

She told Sydney that over and over again, she thought they were going to take her out and kill her in front of her mom to make her talk, that they told her this everyday. Hearing this reminded Matt of his own experience, his own kidnapper had done almost the exact same thing to him. The difference was he didn't have to listen to his mother being tortured to death in the next room. The only relief she had was at night when she would hold C.J. close to her and sing her to sleep, with the same song that played in her jewelry box. Her mother through tears, would tell her to stay calm and always remember that her parents loved her with all they had, but most importantly to survive and be happy in her life. Deborah Parsons seemed to know she wouldn't live to see that.

"I knew something was going to be different this time..." C.J. had been crying, almost hysterically as she relived the experience for an hour. Every 15 minutes or so, Sydney would try to divert attention just a bit to provide some kind of relief. Now they were getting to the end, the point at which a psychiatrist was brought in. It was coming down to the wire. She continued, "They took me out to be with her. I don't know how long it had been since they grabbed us, but it felt like forever. I had eaten everything in my lunchbox the second day. Me and Mommy shared it, but she wouldn't eat much, just told me to. I hope I live to have her sing to me again tonight. Its the only thing I need now. I need her so much!"

Sydney told her, "Ok, C.J...this is about to get a lot more difficult, but its almost over. I want you to still remember that you are safe. I want you to slowly tell me about this last day with your mother."

C.J. took another deep breath and started, "They had been hurting her for a little while I guess. They pushed me in the room and tied me to a chair facing her. I can't believe what I'm seeing..."

Sydney asked, "What is it exactly? Its important for you to tell me."

She answered crying again, "They have her tied, hanging from a beam by her wrists. Her blue dress is all dirty from every other day, but there are holes in it now. There are two men and they are arguing about whether or not to kill someone. I think they mean me, but I don't know for sure. One of them, the one that didn't kill Daddy came over and tells me not to worry, that he won't let his brother kill me and this will all be over soon. The other man, the really bad man who killed Daddy took a big cigarette thing and put it on Mommy's dress making her scream again. The other man pushed him back, he has one of those cigarette things too. They argue again, this time about making me watch this. The bad man took that other man's cigarette and pushes into Mommy again. He told that man that now he is in this with him. I don't know what that means. The other man just threw the cigarette down and the bad man does too. They yell some more and then the nicer one leaves. The bad ones calls him stupid and then grabs a baseball bat." At that point C.J. couldn't talk anymore, only syllables as she tried to describe her mother being beaten to death.

Matt couldn't stand it anymore. The emotional toll on him was great as he watched his wife, best friend, love of his life in so much pain she couldn't even talk. He got up as she sobbed and pulled Sydney over to the door and told him, "Stop this...stop it, now."

Sydney wasn't entirely surprised by the response, but they had already reached a point of no return. He told Matt in whispers, "We can't stop now."

Matt interrupted whispering also, "Like hell you can't. Do whatever it is you have to and bring her out of it, now!"

Sydney tried to reason with him, "I understand your pain, Mr. Houston, but we can't stop now."

Matt interrupted, "You don't understand the pain...I do, and I can't watch her go through this anymore."

Sydney continued though, "We haven't gotten to the part where she gets put under by that psychiatrist. Stopping now would be a disaster. She would only have those commands still in her mind and those would be what she follows. Please, trust me, Mr. Houston. We've gotten so far now. If we had to start over, she would have to remember and go through this all over again. Trust me, we are almost to the end. Don't give up now. Stay strong, she really needs you to stay strong for her."

Matt ran his hand through his hair as Sydney went back over to the chair to work with C.J. more. He told her, "Ok now...we took a little break, like putting what happened on pause. Now your mother has been beaten, that man was hurting her. What happened next?"

C.J. answered as if in a daze, "She doesn't look like Mommy anymore. She's not moving. I...The bad man...he's making a phone call. He's not paying attention to me. I won't let them get away with this. I can get out of this chair now, so I go over to pick up the cigarette things. They must have their fingerprints on them. They won't think about them later I bet. I'll put them in my lunchbox. I still have it. Its where I put all my important stuff now. I have that baggie from my crackers so I take that to pick up the brown cigarette things and put them back in my lunchbox. Then I sit back down like I never moved. The man comes back, he tells me as he cuts down the rope that holds Mommy to look at her. Then he asks me if I know why he had to kill my Mommy and Daddy. I shook my head and only said I thought it was because they didn't like him. He laughed. Then another man comes in and he has something he wants to show me..."

At that point Sydney interrupted, "Stop, right there...this man who wants to show you something, he wants to hurt your mind. I need you, C.J., to remember what he tells you in a different way than you are remembering everything else. I want you to step back as if you are watching everything unfold on a movie screen. His words, his commands to you will mean nothing. They are only words, my words are stronger. You are no longer alone in that warehouse, you are remembering being in that warehouse. Beside you is your husband, Matt Houston..." He motioned to Matt to sit down beside her.

He then mouthed to Matt, 'Say something to her, let her know you are here.'

Matt said to her as he put his arm softly around her shoulder, "I'm right beside you sweetheart. I'm protecting you. I love you."

Sydney then told her, "Ok, so now, I want you to recall what this man does, but remember, you are only watching, you are not going under hypnosis now."

The two men stared intently at her as she recounted, "He started to do things, like a doctor. I hear him say something about shock. Then he put a blanket around me and gave me something in a needle. Now he has me watching a pocket watch. I'm getting very sleepy. He then turns to the bad man and says something, he walks away. That leaves me with this man. My eyes are open, but I seem asleep. He asks me what I saw and heard when my Daddy died. It told him. Then he asks me how I felt about it. He says that when I see anything like that or anything that reminds me of Daddy and his death, I should feel that way, like I have a headache, or I just go to sleep like him and I guess have a cold since I had one that day. Then he asks me how I feel about Mommy. He says this is horrible and I shouldn't have had to live through all this. He told me to listen carefully and that if anyone ever tries to get me to remember that I should kill myself. This is all too bad to try to remember. He says I should try different things, that way no one will know what I will do next and that when I do this, if I am successful, I'll be with Mommy and Daddy again and no one will ever hurt me. He told me that they loved me very much and that is the only thing I should think about, their love for me so I can be with them again. If I can't and they force me, he said I should do nothing but wait to go to them, absolutely nothing...he keeps saying that over and over."

Matt felt like he was going to throw up. He had to take a couple of deep breaths. This had also gotten to Sydney too. He told her, "C.J. I want you to take a deep breath. You need a short break. I want you to tell me how you see the warehouse." He just wanted to make sure again that she wasn't reliving the hypnosis, just the memory of it.

Matt had to run over to the trash basket and lose his breakfast. He just couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had seen ugly things, but this seemed to surpass all of them. That animal had used her parents love for her to hurt her. He almost wished the man were still alive so he could go beat him to death himself.

Sydney came over to him and patted his back as he tried to recover, but still hunched over the trash can. "You gonna be ok?" Matt nodded. He continued, "Now comes the tricky part, bringing her out from hypnosis and seeing what she remembers. From her last answers to my question on the warehouse, I think we'll be ok. I just had no idea he would use her parent's love for her and her love for them. This just got a lot more risky."

Matt then stood up, "Its too late now though, isn't it." Sydney nodded.

He then tried to tell Matt, "This is it, I'll ask a handful of questions about the experience once she was found and then went to Texas. Triggering memories of you and meeting you should help to reinforce what I told you earlier, that the love you two share will be stronger." Matt nodded and then walked back over.

Sydney asked her to recall what happened after the man said those things to her. She answered, "He told me I would be very sleepy and to stay in the corner again and lay down. He took my jewelry box and brought it to me, saying he found it in my hotel room. Its all red on the bottom and he told me that the blood is Mommy's and I would remember again everything he told me when I saw it. He said men would be by to come get me and take me home. I can hear that other man arguing with the bad man. He came back and was asking about his cigarette thing but the bad man is telling him to stop being so stupid. They don't know I have them. The man who killed both my parents wants to kill me and is mad that other man, I think he said his brother, got this man to come talk to me. I can't seem to concentrate anymore and I fell asleep. Then there are two men in uniforms acting like doctors. They are listening to my heart and telling me I will be ok. They take me to a hospital and some other men come in and ask me questions. I can't tell them the answers they want to hear. They let me go back home one more time to get a few things to remember my life, but tell me I can never go back. I don't want my jewelry box anymore and I'm not sure why exactly. I do want Mommy and Daddy's rings, that was the only jewelry they had and it meant a lot to them. I'll put it with mine. I also took the silver dimes Daddy always got me. When they weren't looking I went into Mommy and Daddy's room. There was still a lot of blood from where Daddy had died. I went over to his old shoebox, where he kept only really important things and got that key and some napkins. I knew Daddy would put it there. No one would ever look here. I put it in my lunchbox. He also had some pictures of me, I guess they meant a lot to him too. I took those. Now I have to go. This other man had told me that I am supposed to write down all my feelings and that will make me feel better. I think he's stupid. How is writing this down going to make it hurt less. There is a man in Texas they said, that is a cousin. That he is going to take care of me now. I overheard them say something about him having to check in yearly to report on me, but I don't know what that means and they said I can't ever go."

Sydney then said, "It was at Floyd and Missy's house that you met your future husband, Matt...wasn't it?"

C.J. then smiled for the first time and said, "Yes, yes it was. He acted so cocky at first, but he really does have a heart of gold. For a boy, he's really not so bad and he's helping me out a lot. He really seems to care about me. His Daddy is really nice too, almost like mine, but I can't tell him that."

Sydney then told her, "Alright C.J., you've done a very good and difficult job today. Now we are going to bring you out of hypnosis. I want you to remember everything you recounted today the way you remembered it. I want you to remember that you were put under hypnosis and given commands that no longer mean anything to you by that previous psychiatrist. It will be painful when you remember this again, but you are not alone. I am here and so is Matt, your husband. He loves you and you love him. That love is stronger than any fear and any trauma you have ever had in the past. You are safe, C.J. You are in a safe place and you can remember everything, even things we didn't discuss. You are free to remember your parents and the love they had for you along with the love you and your husband share. Those are good memories and they are not going to cause you to do anything else to harm yourself. Those previous commands mean nothing. Do you understand?"

Both Matt and Sydney watched her closely as she nodded her head and said, "I understand."

Sydney took a deep breath and then whispered to Matt, "Here we go." Then he told her, "When I snap my fingers you are going to be back with me and your husband Matt Houston. You will be relaxed and you will remember everything, every moment of your life. Nothing will remain hidden anymore. No one controls you, but you, C.J." Then he snapped his fingers.