Disclaimer: I do not own twilight

Carlisle's POV

"Checkmate"

Edward let out a frustrated sigh as he re-positioned all the chess pieces. Edward was rather good at chess; the second best in the family but I had more years to practice so I was the only one that could often beat him.

"You're getting better" I assured.

We already had three games and each one was a little more challenging than the last but I was still able to capture his king. Although Edward didn't like losing, I could still tell that he was happy playing chess with me.

He did seem a little brighter for the passed few days and the reason why was obvious. I never had a problem splitting my attention between my children; I just did my best to work around my schedule at the hospital but adding a fifth child to the family may have been a little too much.

It will get easier within time; eventually Jasper won't need me as much and the rest of them will be more focused on the attention they get from boyfriends and girlfriends. Edward has already started spending more time with Bella and the smile she can put on his face tells me that she is good for him.

"Dad!"

The sound of Emmett's voice brought me out of my thoughts which was followed by a clatter in the kitchen, as if a metal object had just been dropped. I rushed to my feet and headed towards the kitchen, hearing Edward follow behind me

I suddenly panicked at the sight in front of me, seeing Emmett restrain a teary eyed Jasper who's chest was dripping with blood. A knife was spotted on the tiled ground which Edward hurried to and moved out of reach.

"He was cutting himself, dad" Emmett stated, clearly concerned.

Jasper was trying with all of his might to get free of Emmett's hold but not a sound came out of him. What was he thinking? Sure, he had his occasional accident and even when he had drunk bleach that caused a few people at the hospital to think it was an attempt at suicide, we all knew it wasn't. Why would he intentionally hurt himself? Had the last few days cause him to fall into a depression, making him want to hurt himself. I didn't even know that he could think of such a thing because he was so different. I should really start noting that his mind is almost as human as everyone else's.

"Let him go" I murmured quietly, doing my best to keep calm.

I stood in front of Jasper so that he couldn't run away if that had been his intention but as soon as Emmett let him go, Jasper backed up and crouched into the corner; eyeing me nervously. There were now drops of blood on the floor as the crimson liquid was sliding down his chest so I quickly grabbed the nearest cloth, dampened it and pressed it against his wounds.

"Is there anything I can do?" Emmett asked.

He looked rather worried as well as Edward who stood further aback, helplessly.

"Grab the medical kit and place it on the desk in my study" I told him.

Now seemed like a good time to get Jasper to open up to me and I would need privacy to do that. I removed the cloth a little to examine the cuts to see how deep they were. There were six of them and all went off in different directions; the smallest was 5 inches, the longest was about 9 inches. Jasper's eyes were still on me, looking as if he was expecting something.

"Come on" I murmured to him as I helped him up.

His fingers clinged onto my sleeve as he allowed me to lead him out of the kitchen. Had he not been acting so wary right now, it would seem like everything had returned to normal. Emmett was exiting my study just as I got there, still holding the expression of worry. I knew he had really taken a liking to Jasper; especially for the passed week so he must have felt responsible for him. I hope he didn't blame himself.

"Let your mother know what's going on" I told him.

Esme would probably be full of questions later but she needed to be aware with what was happening. Emmett nodded and walked off, giving Jasper and I the privacy we needed. Once left alone, I turned around and looked at Jasper with concern.

"What did you do?" I whispered.

Jasper licked his lips and looked down at the carpet regretfully. With a sigh, I crouched down in front of him with my medical kit and began to clean up his wound. I had to stitch up all the cuts because they were all pretty deep and Jasper didn't make a single sound during it although I could see the way he was wincing that he was hurting. Why would he put himself through that kind of pain?

As soon as I finished, I put the medical equipment to the side and stared down Jasper, knowing that making him feel intimidated could get him talking. He wouldn't say anything when I questioned him so this was my second method. Jasper kept taking glances from me to the carpet, nervously; probably waiting for me to stop looking at him but I didn't. I just waited.

A few minutes had gone by when suddenly, out of the blue, Jasper threw his arms around me and wrapped me in a tight hug. I was rather stunned as it was the least I had expected him to do and I was about to hug him back but then I remembered his injuries.

"Watch your stitches, sweetheart" I murmured as I pushed him back gently.

He shook his head as he clung onto me once more but this time, without putting much pressure on his stitches. His fingers were attached to the back of my shirt and I felt him breathing lightly against my neck.

"Emmett say you help make them go 'way" he mumbled.

I'm glad but not surprised that he listened to what Emmett had to say and now that I was getting more of an idea of who 'them' were, I was more determined to take these demons away from my son.

"I can only help you if you let me" I murmured, rubbing his back gently.

"It bad now. Really bad. I see dem all der time and dey wont go 'way" he responded as he began to cry.

Despite his improvement in his speech, I had come to notice that it when he was upset, his pronunciation went downhill. My shoulder was becoming damp from his tears and his grip on me tightened. What he had told me concerned me further. What started out as nightmares were now developing into what I believe were flashbacks. Either that or he was hallucinating which I really hoped wasn't happening otherwise that would bring up problems of its own. I really need to look further into this just to be on the safe side; but first...

"Why were you cutting yourself?" I asked, desperate for him to answer me this time.

He went quiet for a moment so I thought that he would refuse to say anything about the subject but then he tilted his head back to look at me.

"You with Edward" he answered, guiltily.

Everything all of a sudden made sense. He was used to me running to him whenever he was hurt, I was already spending a lot of time with him and wasn't used to me paying attention to the others. He needed my attention and getting hurt was the only way he knew how to do it. I let out a deep sigh, trying to think of the right thing to say.

"Jasper..."

The truth was, I wasn't sure what to say.

"I do bad?" He whispered, sadly.

I guess it was progress with the way he could read me, understand that what he did was wrong but it was the way he asked me that worried me. He seemed a little fearful; of what? I wasn't sure.

Jasper let go of me and moved towards the other side of my study and unrolled the mat that had hardly been used; the mat that Jasper had to sit on whenever he misbehaved. As soon as he flattened it out he sat there with the most plain face I had ever seen. There was no emotion at all and that actually scared me. I moved closer to him.

"Jasper, you don't need to do that"

"I was bad"

"No, sweetheart. You shouldn't have done what you did but I'm not gonna punish you for it. We just need to talk about this" I tried to reason with him.

"I was bad" he repeated.

"Come off there, Jazz. Talk to me. Tell me what's going on"

"I was bad"

Something wasn't right and I felt myself begin to panic.

"Jasper..." I reached for his shoulder and he backed up so quickly that he hit his head against the wall.

"NO! I WAS BAD! I WAS BAD! I WAS BAD..."

"Calm down. Jasper, it's alright! You're okay, you're safe" I did my best to soothe him but he continued to scream the same words over and over again. It alerted my wife, causing her to enter; the worry completely evident on her face.

"Carlisle? Whats happening? What can I do?"

I couldn't answer. I was as clueless as she was and I had no idea what to do. I couldn't touch him in case he would freak out again, he didn't seem to hear my words and the only person I could think of who could have the faintest idea was Peter.

"Call Peter. Tell him its urgent" I told her, desperately.

She nodded and quickly left the room. I thought about doing the same thing; perhaps if he was on his own he would calm down by himself but there were a few things in my study that Jasper could hurt himself with, accidentally or intentionally, so I decided to stay with him so that he couldn't damage himself any further.

After a minute or two, his screaming turned into muttering as he rocked back and forth on the mat, biting his knuckles.

"I was bad. I was bad. I was bad"

"You're not bad, sweetheart. You just don't understand anything yet" I told him, quietly although if he heard me, he showed no indication of it.

It was like he wasn't with me anymore. Or maybe he wasn't. Maybe this reaction wasn't to his self cutting alone. Perhaps me trying to talk to him brought up another memory of its own. Oh god, my son wasn't even with me. Physically he was here but mentally, Jasper wasn't in my study. He was back in the forest.

I think this chapter was a little on the short side but it was a bit of a struggle writing it up because I have been a little busy so I apologize.

Please review, and feel free to give me a few ideas of Jasper's life in the forest. I have a few in mind but I'm open to other people's suggestions.