Chapter 5: Roses

Morgan watched from just outside of the briefing room, looking down into the bullpen as Reid made his way through the BAU to sit down at his desk. He sipped on his coffee wondering if Reid slept as horribly as he did. Morgan had pretty much laid in bed with his eyes closed, a victim of his restless feelings and wide awake with worry. He had little control over his thoughts of Reid these days.

Reid turned his monitor on and entered his password. He smoothed his tie against his torso as he scooted his chair in and then glanced around to see JJ getting some coffee. He saw Alex Blake heading over to JJ and he frog faced a bit. Having Blake around was nice. He'd always enjoyed her company in the past and having her around now, as a member of the BAU, sure kept him on his toes. It felt good, but… he missed Emily. He made a mental note to give her a call later to see how she was doing. As he tapped his eraser against a legal pad on his desk, he realized so very quickly that he was already bored. He wondered if the evidence from the case had in fact made its way to them. He scratched at his chin and then rubbed his right eye and pushed his chair out, ready to check it out for himself, but… he felt eyes on him. He not so nonchalantly looked around and saw that Morgan was watching him from the balcony.

"Excuse me?" a deep voice asked. Reid's head quickly whipped to his left to see a beautiful, vivid bouquet of red roses being held by a delivery man. "Are you…" the man glanced at his paperwork and continued. "Are you Dr. Spencer Reid?"

Reid quickly noted the man's clearance tag and stood out of his chair. "Yeah," he admitted with a curious look on his face. Reid was handed a clipboard and he signed for the flowers. "Um, wow," he muttered as the man placed the vase on his desk. Reid glanced around at all the eyes on him as the delivery guy took off and of course, here came JJ and Blake… and Garcia. "Uhh…" he breathed as he wiped his palms on his hips. He grabbed the tiny, perfectly square envelope and opened it, read the card and instantly put it in his pocket. He grinned as the girls got closer, feeling his face burn with embarrassment.

"What is THIS?" JJ inquired with the biggest smile.

"They're exquisite," Alex added as her fingertips gently traced the edge of one of the petals.

"Spencer Reid, are you holding out on us? Who sent you these?" Garcia demanded to know.

Reid swallowed nervously and squinted a little bit, acting like he was "thinking" about it, as if he didn't know exactly who they were from. "Uhh, well, the card was 'anonymous', sooo…"

"How exciting," JJ groaned wishing right then she could come home to something nice like that.

Garcia's mouth pouted a bit. "Anonymous takes almost all the fun out of it. I can find out who if you want to know. Say yes, say yes, say yes," she hoped, her expression beaming again.

Reid laughed and shook his head. "No," he tried to scold her as he smiled. "Let my anonymous admirer have some peace."

Garcia's mouth fell wide open. "So you do know who they're from?!" Garcia pressed, just knowing she could call his bluff.

"No," he laughed again, still rosy cheeked. He caught the look in Blake's eyes and from her expression, he could tell she knew that he knew who the sender was.

It was obvious the girls didn't believe Reid's denial. Blake played along nicely. An awkward moment passed as they practiced their telepathy with one another, leaving Reid feeling quite invisible. "Can you guys go do something and stop hovering?" He began waving them off with his hands and they reluctantly walked away, heading back over to the coffee, for what Reid expected to be an opportunity to gossip about this. As he sat down, he smelled one of the roses and felt the fragrance relax his entire body. He sighed out his breath and smiled to himself as he reached for his phone and found Michael's number.

Reid texted: You shouldn't have, but I love them. Thank you.

Almost instantly, Michael texted back: Dr. Reid, what are you talking about?

Reid responded: The roses. They're beautiful.

Michael replied: I didn't send you any roses, but… now I wish I had.

Reid's jaw hung open as his thumbs remained frozen over the keypad. His heart pounded as confusion creased his brow and then he wondered if he read the card wrong. He pulled it from his pocket and looked at it again. It read: I really wish we hadn't been interrupted. –M

Oh, no… No, no, no… His eyes grew wide as he pieced it together. I'm so stupid! he yelled at himself in his head. I'm so sorry Michael. Ugh! I wonder what he's thinking now? Reid covered his forehead with the palm of his hand and leaned on his armrest for just a second until he remembered Morgan had been watching him. He slowly turned his head to the right and looked up. Morgan was still there and they locked eyes immediately. Morgan's right eyebrow arched sharply and it almost came off as cocky, but then Reid thought maybe it was just a 'Now I know you know,' expression.

Morgan took another drink of his coffee and nodded his head toward the briefing room. "Come on, kid. We got some evidence to look at." Reid continued to watch Morgan, not moving from his chair. How could I have assumed so wrongly? Reid looked just like a deer in the headlights. Morgan motioned the girls over from way across the bullpen with a two fingered 'come hither' and then slowly stepped into briefing room.

Reid's body moved as if he were on autopilot lifting slowly from his chair. He hoped he could clear his head before he made it into the briefing room. He tried to filter his processing of this to the back of his brain as he nearly ran over the girls, absentmindedly cutting in front of them to get up the small staircase.

Later that afternoon, Reid felt a buzzing in his pocket and was surprised to see it was Michael texting him. The message read: Were they from him?

Reid closed his eyes and bit his lips into his mouth. He glanced upward and scanned the office for watchful eyes. He replied: Yes, I'm sorry. They were.

An uncomfortable few minutes later, Michael replied: I think I'm jealous, Dr. Reid.

Reid smiled the tiniest bit and looked around again before typing his reply: Don't be. I can't wait for you to get back.

Michael responded immediately: Really?

Reid said the word as typed it: "Really."

As Reid placed his phone back into his pocket, he swore he felt his stomach suddenly turn. He was pretty sure he'd just lied. No, don't be ridiculous, Reid told himself. Of course I want to see him again. Slow down… Reid made a conscious effort to take a few deep breaths.

It was happening. It was clear as day now and he loved the thought, but it scared him. Morgan didn't fight for him the first time around, but this time? Morgan was going to demand to be heard. Reid couldn't help but appreciate that. It kind of made everything bad that happened between them not sting so much, like maybe there was some hope of repair and reconciliation. Maybe it all happened for a reason… His hand brushed over his phone and he pulled it out of his pocket again just as it vibrated with another text from Michael. He quickly opened it to see a multi-media notification and he downloaded it. The biggest smile came over his face as he bit into his lower lip, letting a quiet laugh out. Michael was shirtless and flexing, front and center of a group of other trainees who were also half naked.

"Oh, man…" Reid mumbled as his smile faded. He texted back: I hope you're not cooking them spaghetti later.

And once again, he felt torn in half.

Reid sat at his desk and tried to empty his head for a mental break, deciding to finish up a large crossword puzzle. Then he just continued, knowing he needed to talk to Morgan… or, well… at least thank him for the flowers. And a few minutes later, he walked himself up to Morgan's office and knocked on his open door. He tried to smile when Morgan looked up at him. "Hey, thanks… for the flowers. It was very thoughtful of you." He cringed a little, unsure of exactly how much gratitude he wanted to express.

Morgan dropped his pen and relaxed against the seatback of his plush office chair. "Do you like them?"

Reid frowned as he swallowed, leaving just a hint of a smile as he answered, "Yeah… I do."

"Good," Morgan said and then leaned forward, picking up his pen again, looking very much like he was done with this conversation as he continued working on his paperwork.

Reid awkwardly stood at the entrance, waiting for something more to happen. He expected Morgan to get up and lean him against the wall and kiss him or touch him; it was like he'd been conditioned to assume a different response from Morgan. Usually it was desperation or arousal or aggression… but Reid could see that he was as cool as a cat. It felt so foreign to Reid that he couldn't leave. He couldn't let go of what he was expecting, what he knew he wanted. He closed his eyes as he moved just ahead of the door and then shut it behind him, hoping for his actions to act like a prompt for Morgan without having to say word. The second the door clicked shut, Reid felt like he was dreaming, like he couldn't have possibly had to balls to do that.

Morgan looked up and squinted. "What's up?"

Reid leaned against the door and inhaled deeply, not believing that he was asking for this.

Morgan stood up, but stayed put at his desk, just looking at Reid. What's this boy up to? Does he want a repeat of the other day? Michael's been gone for less than twenty-four hours… Morgan walked around his desk and moved over to the blinds and turned the rod, closing them. He walked the few steps to Reid and stood in front of him, placing his hands in his pockets. "What are you doin', Reid?"

Reid breathed out as he looked down, not being able to meet Morgan's eyes. "I don't know." Morgan stepped closer and Reid watched as the tips of their shoes touched each other at the sides. He glanced up and looked at Morgan's lips. "I don't know," he repeated, nearly whispering. "I wish I didn't expect your advances. I… I wish I didn't want them."

Morgan felt his heart jump. He kept his left hand in his pocket, but brought his right hand to Reid's left cheek and Reid leaned into his touch. Morgan watched Reid's eyebrows turn in and upward at the center of his brow and then he witnessed some sort of relief come over Reid's expression like Reid had been waiting for so long to be touched like that by him again. But Morgan pulled his hand away, placing it firmly back into his pocket. Somethin' wasn't right here. He studied Reid's face and could see that he was flush with heat and the veins near his temple were bulging… Morgan thought he was crying or getting teary eyed, at the very least.

Morgan had so much he wanted to say… It bothered him that Reid was so conflicted. It bothered him that Reid didn't have that confidence he had once had. Even with less experience, Reid had always been sexually assertive. What happened to that guy? And Morgan knew if he brought any of it up, Reid would begin defending his affections for Michael and that could start an argument because although Morgan understood everything that was happening, he didn't like it and he had a hard time taking Michael and Reid's relationship seriously.

"I'm gonna make a suggestion to you, Reid, and I want you to follow it."

Reid bit his lips into his mouth and Morgan watched him do that. There were a lot of things that Reid did that made Morgan stare. He's so sexy and he's got no fuckin' idea.

"Okay," Reid said and nodded, seemingly open to whatever Morgan had to say.

Morgan slowly cupped Reid's face into his warm hands. "If you want me, come at me." Both men searched each other's eyes. "No questions, Reid… No judgments," Morgan rubbed his thumbs on Reid's cheeks as he saw a hint of remorse in Reid's eyes, "…and no guilt. None of this pussy-footin' around nonsense."

Reid started to protest, "But-"

Morgan gently shook Reid's head, "When we're alone, it's just you and me. No one else exists."

Reid's mind raced back and forth as he continued to look Morgan in the eye. He was suddenly aware of how fast his chest was expanding and compressing. He was suddenly aware of the hardening muscle that involuntarily flexed inside of his pants just from being so close to this man... He was suddenly aware how badly he wanted all of this. He wanted to be able to follow Morgan's suggestion, but… Michael… He wanted to give Michael a chance. He didn't want to hurt Michael. I do not want to hurt him. He really didn't want to be dishonest and begin cheating on him before their relationship could even start. Morgan's eyes lowered, looking at Reid's mouth. He leaned in to kiss Reid, but Reid turned his head. "Morgan." No guilt? Reid didn't feel any last night, but it was screaming inside of him right now, begging for acknowledgment.

Morgan sighed, a little annoyed and let go of Reid's face, placing his hands on his hips. He wanted to wring Reid's neck. How am I gonna survive this? "You're givin' me whiplash, kid."

What Morgan was suggesting intrigued him. "I'm sorry," Reid tried to apologize as his voice cracked. He cleared his throat and looked Morgan in the eye. "Okay," he sighed. "I guess…" he swallowed, "I guess if I want something, badly enough… to come in here – or wherever you are, and take it." He licked his lips and let himself breathe once he forced the words out.

Morgan suddenly smiled. "Yeah, man. That's what I'm saying. I'm yours. Anything you want or need, Michael or no Michael, you come and take it."

Reid breathed out again, obviously bracing himself for what he wanted to say next. Morgan stopped smiling and watched him carefully. "I want the same for you."

Morgan half smiled. "Good," he said, relieved. Finally! Now we're getting somewhere.

"No, I mean…" Reid tried to swallow back his nerves so he could speak of what he secretly wanted. "I mean for you… If you want me, take me."

Morgan's jaw dropped just a little bit until a smirk mixed into his expression. "Well, well, well… Dr. Spencer Reid…" Reid had basically just declared himself a single man who could do as he pleased. Morgan was proud.

"We're not getting back together…" Reid told Morgan very quickly. "I still… I'm not…"

"That's alright," Morgan cooed. "We'll work it out. No rush. Just tell me one thing?"

Reid's brow turned in as he swallowed, making eye contact with Morgan, welcoming the question.

"You still love me?" He tried to smile through his concern. It seemed like a silly question, but Reid had surprised on other accounts.

Reid thought about his answer because he knew if he said too much too soon, something would likely backfire, like Morgan getting impatient. But Reid knew he needed to be pushed and he was okay with that, especially if Morgan was the one doing the pushing. He pursed his lips and looked at Morgan's handsome face... He could see that Morgan was so ready to hear him say the words. "Do you really have to ask?"

"Yes, Reid, I need to hear you say it. I need to hear you say that you love me."

Reid chewed on his lower lip and his head turned slightly left and then right as he looked over Morgan's shoulders. He nodded... "Yeah..." he whispered, "I still love you."

Morgan could not contain his smile and he took Reid's head in to his hands again and laid one on him right then and there. Reid was surprised by the affectionate attack, not being able to control how rigid he became and wiped at the wetness left on his lips. Morgan let out a sigh of relief and settled back down, letting his eyes meet Reid's again.

"Do you think our new arrangement will work? You think we can handle it?" Morgan could only hope this would work and that they wouldn't just end up hurting each other again, but he had faith. He didn't wait for Reid to answer. "At least we have an understanding now."

...An understanding. Reid thought about how at ease he felt now, compared to when he'd first walked into Morgan's office. He felt so much relief even at just the thought of not having to hide his desires from Morgan. Not that he ever had to, it just seemed like it was never an appropriate thing to embrace. He wished he knew what it meant for his budding romance with Michael; probably nothing good, but Reid didn't want to let that get in the way. He was still going to date Michael. "I'm still going to see him."

Morgan stopped cold for a second, like his train of thought had been derailed. Reid saw his Adam's apple bob down his throat, but then he began to nod. "Yeah, of course." Not for much longer; say your goodbyes, Morgan thought. "Like I said, Michael or no Michael."

"Are you positive you're okay with that?" Reid asked him, wanting to be sure.

Morgan closed the space between them and began to lean in for that slow kiss he'd been after for what felt like a lifetime ago. "Are you sure?" Morgan lips almost touched Reid's... and then Reid's cell phone buzzed in his pocket. Morgan couldn't believe it. "Are you kidding me?"

Reid cringed and pulled his phone from his pocket, giving Morgan a guilty glance. "You both have really bad timing, you know that?"

"Are you serious?"

"Get used to it," Reid told him teasingly, trying to sound playful. "I need to go, actually." The time on his phone reminded him he needed to see Garcia about some information she said she'd have.

When Reid shut the door behind him, Morgan growled, cursing everything and everyone, but then had to let himself laugh.

Reid watched Morgan talking with a cute female agent for several minutes before he decided he would get up and leave. For whatever reason, it wasn't bothering him like it had on occasion before. He didn't feel that spark of jealously, probably because he knew exactly where Morgan stood in all of this. So, for the moment, he liked to watch Morgan flirt, but it did lose its luster once his stomach began growling. He searched and searched, finally finding a granola bar he had saved for an occasion such as this. He began shutting his computer down and organizing the files on his desk as he chewed… as he kept glancing at Morgan. He was kinda trying to stage their exits to happen at the same time; to what outcome, he didn't know, but Reid wanted to be able to say Goodnight to him.

When he was ready, Reid got up and headed for the exit that led into the lobby. Half way there, Morgan saw him and held up his hand, signaling him to stop. Reid slowed as Morgan said his goodbyes to the young woman who was all smiles. Reid waited as Morgan walked up to him and the corners of Reid's mouth turned up into a shy smile as Morgan bumped their shoulders together.

"You headin' out, Pretty Boy?"

"Yeah… heading out," Reid repeated nervously. He chuckled quietly as they walked through the doorway into the lobby. He loved the sensation that was pulsing in and out of his chest, that nervous excitement.

"Hold up," Morgan said, stopping.

Reid turned around and watched as Morgan made a phone call. "What was that about?"

Morgan and Reid stepped into the elevator together and Morgan finally answered, "You'll see." It was pretty late, but there were always bodies roaming around the BAU. Right as the doors began closing, another FBI agent tried to enter and Morgan practically tackled him. "Sorry, man. This one's full up." The man just stood there, dumbfounded because it clearly was not.

Reid didn't look the other man in the eye. He was embarrassed that Morgan had done that. What is he doing? He swallowed as the doors finally closed and he cleared his throat, swallowing again. "What's happening?"

Morgan leaned against Reid, pressing his body into Reid's side as he reached for the control panel. The elevator had only passed one floor, heading down and Morgan deliberately pressed the Emergency Stop button. Reid swallowed again and took a quick breath in and out as an alarm began sounding. He felt the inertia of the heavy box coming to a stop and Morgan looked at the reader above the doors. Quickly enough, the alarm was cut off, obviously from by an external source and the elevator seemed to power down and switch to an auxiliary mode. Both Reid and Morgan could hear it and feel it. When the lights dimmed and the "Maintenance" light began flashing on the reader, the biggest grin came over Morgan's face. "Just remember it's controlled; we're safe. We got five minutes with no eyes on us, Reid. No one can hear us." His nod toward the black dome in the ceiling was so subtle that Reid almost missed it. "Friends in high places."

"Five minutes? What are we gonna do in five minutes?"

"I think you're underestimating me, kid."

That tone… Reid could feel his body respond to it and had to look down to the tightly woven carpet for a moment before he could look back at Morgan's face. "Am I?"

Morgan set his briefcase down and then helped himself to removing Reid's satchel from his shoulder. "Yeah, you are." He took Reid's arm and pulled him closer and then grabbed his other arm, making Reid face him. "Close your eyes…"

Reid sighed and rolled his eyes before he closed them.

Morgan's hands moved to the sides of Reid's face and he stared at Reid for just a moment, savoring this prelude to what he what he wanted to do to Reid. He carefully focused energy into his fingertips so he could delicately move Reid's hair away from his eyes to get a better look at him.

Both men licked at their own lips, wetting them, anticipating the next moment.

"I love you…" Morgan confessed. Reid's chest filled with air and his shoulders rose noticeably. Hearing Morgan say that would never get old. "I… love… you…" Morgan repeated, his gentle tone begging to be heard. Even Reid felt like no truer words had ever been spoken. He almost said it back, but he didn't want to say something like that with his eyes closed; he wanted to be looking Morgan in the eye for those words.

Morgan gently tilted Reid's head just the tiniest bit and kissed his forehead. His warm lips lingered on Reid's skin and Reid had to take hold of Morgan's forearms, not to stop him, but to hold on; he felt weak in the knees. Morgan hadn't said to open his eyes so held them shut and he waited for Morgan to continue… and in the very next breath, Morgan kissed Reid's right eyelid and then kissed his left. Again, his lips lingered with each kiss, as if they were given in slow motion.

A wave of affection washed over Reid and he remembered how bottomless his love for Morgan was. Reid knew this wasn't just seduction; this moment was extremely emotionally intimate for Morgan and extraordinarily vulnerable for himself to allow. He trusted Morgan. He still loved Morgan. And Morgan was making it very clear that he felt the same way.

Morgan pulled back for a second and looked at Reid's mouth. "Come home with me?" he whispered.

Reid was reluctant to open his eyes. "I don't think I should."

"Why not?"

While Reid slowly lifted his eye lids, he told Morgan, "Reasons, lots of them."

"Come home with me…" he repeated more firmly.

"I'm afraid if we actually begin…" he sighed a little bit, "that pattern again so soon that…"

"You're gonna forget all about Michael?"

"Well… yeah. And I don't want that to happen …but more so that you and I won't bother to fix what went wrong before."

"We can have a clean slate, Reid. What happened back then is just… it's not a part of the pattern I'm interested in repeating. I don't think we have to worry anymore about the things that were in our way before."

"…Said the child sex abuse victim to the drug addict."

That stung and it pissed Morgan off, but he controlled his reaction. "Reid, we cannot escape our pasts, but we have a choice every single day if we're gonna let it dictate who we become. I'm not runnin' anymore. Neither are you." He let out a smile and continued, "Come on, man… Don't you see? We can have a good and solid chance."

Reid pressed his lips together while looking into Morgan's eyes. "I see it… I'm just… You…" Reid cleared his throat, "You mean so much to me and… I don't think I could handle another break up with you. …If we do this again, I refuse to rush it." Reid gave a pause, "If we do this again."

"Alright," Morgan conceded, nodding. "I hear you. You drive me bat shit crazy, but I hear you."

Reid chuckled.

Morgan grinned and stepped back. "So, are you comin' over?"

"No!" Reid laughed out.

Morgan pulled Reid in and hugged him. Their bodies came together with am umph and Reid hugged him back. Morgan breathed in Reid's scent and Reid absorbed the warmth escaping from Morgan's body. The two held onto each other in silence until the elevator lights brightened up. The maintenance light stopped flashing and the boys could feel and hear the power being fed back into the elevator and they awkwardly separated as if they were both reluctant to let go of each other.

"When does Michael get back?" Morgan reached for his briefcase and watched Reid visibly shake off their intimate connection.

"Uhh, Friday afternoon, unless something changes." Reid picked up his satchel from the floor. "And I'm already invited over for a movie night with him and his twin sister on Saturday… So, I'll be busy both of those nights."

Morgan ignored the implications just brought to his attention. "Is she hot?"

Reid smiled a little. "Define 'hot'."

Morgan could have sworn that Reid's blushed for just a split second. "Michael's a good lookin' guy. I bet she is all kinds o' fine." He winked and grinned wide at Reid.

"I've only seen a picture; I haven't met her yet, so…" He was holding in his smile. If she resembled her photo at all…

The elevator doors opened and they stepped out into parking garage in unison. "Have a good night?"

"Yeah, I will. You, too," Reid replied, veering left as Morgan kept walking, each heading toward their vehicle.

YAY! There you go! Next chapter will be a nice payoff! Thanks for reading! ;)