Disclaimer: I do not own twilight
Peter's POV
As soon as I got the call from Esme, I had gotten straight into my car and sped all the way to the Cullen's house. It usually takes me 45 minutes to drive there but my panic got me there in 30. I got out of the car, not bothering to lock it; which wasn't too much of a concern since the Cullen's house was too far out for there to be people around to steal my car.
Esme met me at the door and let me inside.
"What happened?" I asked, worried.
Esme hadn't told me much over the phone; just that it was urgent and that Jasper was in trouble. It must have been bad if they couldn't wait for tomorrow's session. I wasn't too sure what to expect with Jasper as the last time I had seen him, he had gone into panic. Carlisle had met up with me twice since then so that I could give him some advice on how to handle the current situation.
I was aware that Jasper had been hiding behind his brother, Emmett, for the time being and he hasn't interacted with Carlisle at all which was saddening because I thought they had a really great bond. I told Carlisle that it would be best if he were to give Jasper the space he needed to feel comfortable but to continue attempting to interact with Jasper occasionally so that when he is ready to talk, he can while feeling in control.
"I'm not too sure. Jasper began harming himself but Carlisle fixed up his wounds. He tried to talk to him about it but Jasper started screaming out the same words repeatedly. Carlisle is with him now to make sure he doesn't hurt himself further" Esme informed.
I followed her up the stairs and she led me into Carlisle's study where I spotted Carlisle sitting cross legged in front of Jasper; whose knees were brought up to his chest, arm wrapped around his legs while rocking his body. His eye were squeezed shut and he was mumbling to himself.
Carlisle looked in my direction with a pleading expression; hoping for my help and I was more than willing to give it to the both of them. I crouched down in front of Jasper, next to Carlisle and tried to get his attention.
"Hey, Jazz. It's Peter...can you talk to me?" I asked, softly.
He didn't seem to pay any attention to me but I had spoken loud enough to make sure he could hear me. I leaned over and gently touched his shoulder as I needed to find a way to get him to respond.
I notice Carlisle watching Jasper nervously as I did so; probably expecting Jasper to react with either violence or panic. To be fair, I was preparing for the same thing but he ignored the touch and continued to mutter to himself. I listened to the words he was using but his voice seemed so shaky that it was difficult to make out what he was saying. I believe he was saying 'I was bad'. It seemed to make sense since he was sitting on the mat that Carlisle had mentioned to keep Jasper's behavior under control.
"Carlisle, what exactly happened?" I asked.
"He had been hurting himself. I was trying to get him to tell me why he had been doing it but then he just decided to place himself on the mat and he's been repeating those three words ever since. I don't think he's aware of where he is right now" Carlisle explained.
I agreed with Carlisle. Going by his unresponsive behavior, his mind was likely stuck in the past which was something that a person can't just be brought out of. However, if I could find a way to get his attention while he is like this, I might be able to get him to talk about where his mind is right now.
"Does Jasper have anything important to him? Something he had before he lived with you?" I asked as I turned to Carlisle and Esme.
They thought about it for a moment and then I heard a new voice.
"A rock. In his left trouser pocket, there's a rock...a jasper"
It was Rosalie, Jasper's biological sister. I remembered Jasper mention having a 'special rock' in one of our sessions but he hadn't given much detail about it. He said that his sister had a 'special rock too'.
I leaned over, reaching my hand over to Jasper's legs that were still tucked under his chin and slowly slid it into his pocket. Jasper still didn't show any reaction..that was, of course, until I pulled out his mineral rock.
He quickly jumped back, tensed up, began to growl and stared at the object in my hand before suddenly bending his fingers forward to pose like claws and scratched my hand...hard. I dropped the rock in shock and Jasper snatched back what was his.
Despite his growling, he made no eye contact which was what made me sure that he really wasn't where he thought he was right now as it would be typical of Jasper to make eye contact while growling to show dominance and confidence; to appear fearful. But right now, his eyes were glaring through me as if I were transparent.
I ignored the stinging on the back of my hand which now showed four, slightly bleeding diagonal lines. It wasn't a big deal; it would scab over and heal within a week or two. I wish I could say the same for the criss-crossed stitched wounds on Jasper's torso that I had just spotted now he had just moved back; his legs no longer hiding them.
Although I had been told that Jasper had self harmed, I hadn't expected the cuts to need stitching. I guess it was a good job that Carlisle is a doctor. Jasper gripped on his mineral rock tightly and held it against his chest, guarding it with his life.
I turned around and looked at Rosalie.
"These rocks you have, they're very significant, right?" I questioned her.
Her face seemed to light up at the question.
"Our biological mom gave them to us when we were very little. She collected mineral rocks and named us after her favorites; the rose quartz and red jasper. Jazz took his wherever he went and even started a little rock collection of his own; even at his young age he was fascinated by them" Rosalie explained.
"I assume you still have yours?" I questioned. At her nod, I continued. "Go get it, I have an idea" I told her.
She hurried out of the room, leaving curious gazes on Carlisle and Esme's faces. They would just have to bare with me. I figured that if I got a response of touching something important to Jasper, I might get something similar with Rosalie's mineral rock. It was obvious that Jasper's rock was only important to him because it brought back memories of his sister when he was out in the woods all by himself for 12 years. It reminded him that somewhere out there was his sister.
With Jasper stuck in the past, he was scared although he was clearly doing his best to hide it. He couldn't see us, he couldn't see the study he was in; only the trees that were only visible to him. I could only imagine what he was seeing right now but I wanted to try using Rosalie's rose quartz. It could bring him back to the present and remind him of his true surroundings or he could continue to be stuck in this flashback but seeing his sister's rock might at least get him to respond to me during his flashback. Maybe I can finally get some answers out of him.
Rosalie returned with the pink rock in her hand and passed it to me. I moved it in Jasper's line of sight in hope that he would in some way notice it. He stared on ahead, way passed the open door but remained as still as a statue so I tried something a little different. I rubbed the rock against his fisted hand so that he could feel the texture. Jasper jerked his head and opened his hand up but his eyes remained where they were...on the open door which made me think that he may see it as a way out. Rosalie noticed this too and stood in the door way in case he bolted.
I was just grateful that he responded in some way. He now held both mineral rocks in his hands as he started panting, nervously. Panting is usually a method used by animals to cool down when they feel hot because they don't sweat but Jasper was human so feeling hot wasn't the reason behind this behavior. However, other reasons behind panting is out of fear, pain or excitement and Jasper certainly didn't seem happy. The wounds would have obviously caused him pain and I knew that he was a little scared right now but stressed seemed more like the reason for it.
My guess was that the panting was yet another habit he had taken up after growing up around wild animals and panting whenever he felt frustrated was just a different way in expressing his emotions.
"Where are you, Jasper?" I asked, calmly.
He licked his lips and raised his head; smelling the air. I heard a small whine as he began to fidget uncomfortably on the mat, looking down at his feet. Did he understand what I was asking him or was it something he was seeing?
Jasper put both rocks in his pocket and then bolted passed me, stopping in front of Rosalie who was in his way. His whining got a lot louder as he couldn't reach his destination with his sister in the way.
"No, let him go. I want to see where he goes" I told Rosalie.
At my word, she moved out of the way, letting Jasper leave the study. We all followed to see where his body was leading. It was like following a sleepwalker with his body moving but his mind somewhere else. The only difference was that Jasper seemed fully aware of the obstacles in his way so that he didn't bump into anything like many sleep walkers did. He stopped in front of somebody's bedroom door and stared at it as if he were waiting for it to be opened.
I looked at Carlisle and he knew the question before I had time to ask it.
"Alice"
Why Alice? I mean, I knew about the unusual bond between the two but I had been pretty sure that Jasper was caught up in a flashback. It could have been just a coincidence that he ended up by Alice's door but I didn't think so. I leaned forward and knocked on Alice's bedroom door and she answered just a second later.
As soon as the door opened, Jasper rushed passed and entered her room, jumping up onto her dresser and knocking a few of her things over. Alice looked at Jasper and then back at us.
"What's going on?" She asked, confused.
"Jasper thinks he's back in the forest" Rosalie stated.
Alice turned around to look at Jasper again but what was strange was that he was staring right back. He couldn't see any of us but he could see Alice. What if she was part of the flash back? He did meet her in the forest after all. But that only confused me further because his bad reaction with Carlisle caused me to believe that this was a bad memory.
"Should...should I do anything?" Alice questioned.
At the sound of her voice, Jasper responded by licking his lips and whined loudly; looking needingly at her. What was he wanting from her?
"Walk towards him slowly. I want to see how he reacts" I told her.
Carlisle opened his mouth as if to talk; obviously skeptical about the idea but I rushed to reassure him.
"He's not gonna hurt her, Carlisle. You should know that more than anyone" I told him.
I knew that he couldn't help it, he was under a lot of stress. I couldn't imagine how difficult it was to father five kids; especially one with special needs while holding down a job as a doctor. Carlisle and Esme were really trying to help Jasper but when one problem is solved, a bigger problem begins and it was my job to make it easier for them.
Alice did as I asked and walked back into her room and sat down on her bed. Jasper looked a little more satisfied after watching her do this but remained sitting on her dresser while keeping a watchful eye on her.
"Now what?" Alice questioned as she looked in my direction.
I wasn't too sure what I was waiting for him to do but I had expected him to show me at least something that was happening in his flashback. I guess the answer was nothing at the moment.
That was of course, until Emmett came running up the stairs. The sound of his feet hitting the carpet got Jasper's so suddenly and I was once again surprised that he could sense Emmett, but not us.
"How is he? Is he okay?" He asked, rather innocently.
Emmett hadn't expected the brother who had clung onto him all week to suddenly turn on him as Jasper suddenly jumped down from Alice's dresser, pushed his way passed me and aggressively jumped and pushed down Emmett with a loud snarl.
He dug his nails into Emmett's skin, biting and scratching; doing all he could to put Emmett in pain. Carlisle and I moved as fast as we could to restrain Jasper; Carlisle removing each one of his fingers off Emmett while I wrap my arms around his torso and pull him back.
As we did so, Emmett backed up, using his hand and feet in panic and confusion. He was bleeding in a few areas from Jasper's nails and teeth but thankfully nothing too serious that would require a trip to the hospital.
He stared in shock, watching the scene unfold as Jasper bared his teeth at his brother, snarling out loud while fighting against the grip Carlisle and I had on him. He was rather strong for a youngster but our grip was firm so Jasper had no way in escaping.
I felt a little bad for Jasper, restraining him like this while in the middle of a terrifying flashback. The feeling of our strong hands no doubt made him well aware of us now but we most likely posed as the monsters of his past.
But his reaction to Emmett?
That was something bigger. Why did Jasper act like that? The sound of heavy feet running must have caused him to be frightened, and then seeing Emmett's large size didn't help the situation.
My theory was Alice.
Had he been alone, then he would have run away from Emmett but I was aware of Jasper being rather protective of Alice and when he lived in the forest, Alice was all he had. She had been the only friendly face he saw; the one who kept him fed. Of course he would protect her from the monsters.
Despite all the energy Jasper was putting into getting himself free, there was no sign of him giving up. He's stubborn, I'll give him that but I needed to think of a way to calm him down before my arms give out. Apparently, Alice was already on it.
"Jazz, it's okay. You're safe. We're both safe" Alice soothed as she stood in front of him, blocking his view of Emmett who was still on the floor in shock.
I felt Jasper relax just a tiny bit as he heard her voice but he was still trying to fight against the grip Carlisle and I had on him. Alice then moved closer and put her hand gently on his cheek and then magically, he stopped struggling as if Alice's touch had the power of calming him down. His snarls and growls turned into whimpers for her attention.
"Emmett, are you alright?" Carlisle asked, concerned.
Two injured kids in one day? I wonder what the hell was going through Carlisle's mind right now.
"Yeah, a few scratches aren't gonna kill me" Emmett replied as he slowly got back onto his feet.
"Alright, go back down stairs and get yourself cleaned up. But do it slowly and quietly. Otherwise you'll start Jasper off again" Carlisle instructed.
Emmett nodded and did as he was asked. He slowly went down the stairs but Jasper was too focused on Alice's touch to notice. He leaned his cheek further into the palm of her hand. As soon as Emmett was out of sight, I assumed that it was safe enough to let go of Jasper and Carlisle did the same.
With Jasper's hands free, he reached for Alice's shoulder and held tightly onto her sleeve while resting his chin on the other; still not acknowledging the two of us.
"How long do you think it will take until he is back with us?" Carlisle asked as he turned to me; Alice's eyes on me also.
"It's difficult to say but I think it's best if Alice stays with him until it's over. She appears to be the comfort of his flashback" I explained. I then looked over to Alice who's hand was now playing with Jasper's curly hair. "In the mean time, I need you to talk to me about all the times you interacted with Jasper before he became apart of the family. He's clearly stuck in some sort of memory that you were apart of" I informed her.
She nodded, although her eyes never left Jasper; even as she spoke.
"Okay, but first he should eat. I don't think he's eaten anything today. He must be hungry"
I nodded in agreement and I was sure Alice would have no problem encouraging Jasper to eat since that was what she had done for the first 6 months of their first meeting. But that was the only thing I was aware of during the time they spent together.
Jasper's loud whine interrupted my thoughts; Carlisle's too.
"I guess I'll go and fix up a snack for him" he said, leaving just the three of us.
I watched as Jasper began panting again and occasionally nuzzled his nose into her neck. He was feeling a little stressed again and he was wanting Alice to do something about it but it was difficult to tell what Jasper wanted if he wasn't vocalizing the problem.
"Let's put him in a room that he feels comfortable in" I told her.
Although he wasn't where he thought he was, unconsciously his mind will sense the familiar environment so it might give him some form of comfort as well as having Alice by his side.
I know it has almost been a month since my last update, which is a mix of real life getting in the way and writing getting more difficult with the further into the story I am. Anyway, I really appreciate your patience.
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