16. Gifts and Curses - Yellowcard

Jounouchi probably got it, or he would when he pulled his head out of his butt long enough to realise he was in love. Honda couldn't be sure when that'd happen though, so he wasn't holding his breath. Jounouchi was his best friend, could always be counted on to have his back in a fight, and wasn't nearly as dumb as he seemed, but when it came to emotional intelligence he was as useless as a cat-flap in an elephant house.

"Girls are so lame," he'd once said after a group of them beat him up in elementary school.

That was the first time Honda ever spoke to him. Up until that moment, he'd only ever watched the new boy from a distance. Jounouchi was a rough kid from 'the wrong side of the tracks' as Honda's grandmother said, though there was no station in Domino, which confused her grandson. He'd expected the tough new boy to hit back the way he had when the school bully tried to steal his lunch money on the first day. Jounouchi had wiped the floor with that guy, but just stood there as the girls yanked his hair and chanted, "Mommy doesn't want you! Mommy doesn't want you!" because one of them had a friend at Jounouchi's old school and knew why he'd moved. They eventually ran off when Honda came over, giggling and watching to see if they were followed.

"Why didn't you fight back?" Honda had wanted to know.

"Because they're girls. You're supposed to protect girls if you're a guy, not sock 'em."

"You're bleeding."

"Yeah, and it stings like a bitch."

Honda had flinched. Bad language was frowned upon in his house. He'd been sent to his room more than once for yelling the worst words he could think of at his sister.

"You got something in your eye?" Jounouchi had asked. "Or are you just a pussy?"

The following punch-up clinched the beginning of their friendship.

It also set the limits for how much Jounouchi knew about girls in relation to himself. Honda lived in a house with a mom, an older sister, a grandmother, and a dad who hid behind his newspaper even at the dinner table. To Honda, females were just a part of life to be ignored and sometimes yell at when they yelled at you. Jounouchi, on the other hand, was adamant that girls were for protecting, and it was easier to just let him think that than try to argue about it.

However, when he was twelve and Jounouchi got hold of a dirty magazine he learned the difference between women and girls. Girls then became something to protect or lusted over, and it wasn't until they were fifteen that they figured out girls weren't only authority figures, damsels to protect, or sex objects. Girls had boobs instead of family jewels, sure, but they were still just people, and some of them didn't want to be ogled or protected.

Anzu reminded Honda of his sister. They both bossed him about, although Anzu was snarkier about it. Jun just yelled at him because he was her brother, and that's what he was there for – or so it seemed to him, until she had her first kid and babysitting became what he was there for instead. At first the similarities with Jun made him resent Anzu, but after a while he began to see her as a person, the way Yuugi did. They were both confined to the sidelines a lot, which made it easier – as well as teaching him that she had little authority when it came to stopping her loved ones throwing themselves into the path of danger. He learned a lot about her while Jounouchi and Yuugi saved the world with cards.

She slapped him the first time he noticed the way her chest bounced when she cheered. He was too obvious about it and too effusive with his apologies. The mark didn't go down for hours, a throbbing red reminder that Anzu was a girl who didn't want to be ogled and didn't need protecting.

Until she did.

After everything Jounouchi had ever said about her, Honda assumed Shizuka was a girl who needed protecting too. It made Honda feel good, keeping her safe and away from the bad guys, and fighting over her with Otogi – a real hunter-gatherer sensation. That is, until she proved herself stronger than anyone had thought.

Nobody ever questioned whether Anzu could take care of herself. Or Mai. The were girls who knew themselves better than anyone, and both claimed they one-hundred-percent didn't need to be protected by the guys in their lives. Honda wasn't stupid, but he did suffer from the flaw of taking things at face value until he was proved wrong. That's why he thought Jounouchi was just a brainless thug when they first met. That's why he thought Yuugi was just a sad little gamer he should ignore.

Jounouchi messed up with Mai. They all did. It was a salient lesson for Honda – an also a really confusing one. People were people, regardless of gender. It was one thing to know it, and another to live knowing it. You couldn't pigeonhole people, and you definitely couldn't take them at face value.

He watched his best friend dither over his feelings, not realising what they were and shoving his head in the sand to stop himself from ever learning. He saw Jounouchi's steady slump into melancholy after Doma, but it was only after he found him wandering aimlessly around the park one evening that he came to his own realisations.

"Guys are supposed to protect girls," Jounouchi said as they sat side by side on a swing set meant for kids with shorter legs. "That's what I always thought. Because of Shizuka, y'know? I had to protect her from my dad. And then I couldn't protect her no more, and now she doesn't' need me to protect her. She grew up. And Mai …"

Honda waited.

Jounouchi shook his head and kicked off, swinging back and forth with heels scraping the ground. "Girls are so lame. Even the nice ones. Especially the nice ones."

"Hey, Jounouchi?"

"Yeah?"

"Can you taste your own colon?"

"What?"

"Only, your head is so far up your own butt, I was just wondering."

It was late, so Anzu was rubbing her eyes when she opened the door. Sleep fell away and she blinked in surprise when she saw Honda. "What have you been doing? You're a mess! Is something wrong?" with the lives they'd led, him turning up like this would of course cause her to think the apocalypse was nigh.

"Jounouchi punched me." Honda stated it matter-of-factly, without a hint of whining. He'd punched back, of course. "Anzu, can I talk to you for a minute?"

She was confused. Of course she was. It was nearly ten at night and he was standing on her doorstep looking like a refugee from Survivor. "Uh sure. What about?"

"Something important." Honda swallowed, reminding himself of Jounouchi and Mai and missed opportunities with terrible consequences. They'd be going to Egypt soon. Who knew what they'd find waiting for them there? "Something really important."