8
I decided to skip eighth period for today. I went to my teacher and said I wasn't feeling well and I need to go to the nurse. I just came in here to let her know. She let me go, and I walked downstairs to the first floor and went to the nurse. It's ironic our nurse is a Band-Aid and can't even heal herself.
"What seems to be the problem?" she asked.
"I'm not feeling well," I said. "I think I have—"
I just threw up right in front of her. I don't know whether to be alarmed or thankful for that.
"Jeez," she said. "What got into you?"
"Life?" I said, trying to say something smart.
"Do you want me to call home?"
"No, I can walk back."
"Nonsense," she said, "I'll call them. What's your name."
"Carrie Krueger."
"Just sit down there and we'll wait and see."
After she called my parent's house, I had to wait around sitting (or pretending to) on a chair. I wasted twenty minutes there doing nothing. That was until I saw these two guys messing around in the hall. One was this tall one-eyed Cyclops that seemed to be flying around like a monkey, or skipping with his shoelaces tied down, next to a short, blob of clay.
The one-eyed guy started to break dance while saying, "Beat that, short stop! I bet your mother hasn't had a man move like that in bed?"
Then he looked at me. "Hey-hey, it's the Blair bitch!"
"Fuck you, you cretin!" I yelled.
"Whoa," he said in a slow, raspberry-like voice, "you don't remember?"
"Remember what?"
"Me? It's Rob. Jeez, why can't the fuck anyone remember my name?"
"Maybe because you leave so little an impact in their life they don't give a shit what your dick size is."
"Fuck you," he said. "So why are you here, you flat-cheated airbag?"
"I'm sick. I threw up when I saw how little your balls were when they found it."
"Oh, harsh-harsh. No, really, why?"
"I did threw up," I said.
"Because of how massive my balls were?" he said.
That made me laugh. "Yeah, that's it. Anyway, why aren't you in class?"
"I got lunch eighth, so does my stress ball over here."
His "stress ball" only nodded at me to show he understood him, but then eyed on Rob for saying that.
"All right. So, you guys going to the dance?"
"Nah," he said, "that's just for a bunch of teenybopper who want to get it in and look like HONK! HONK! sluts out there."
"Charming," I said, "or maybe because you ain't got dates."
"Pssh, we could get anybody we want, all we got to do is say, 'Hey ladies, it's Rob and Silent Clay, recognize.' And by then, they'll be doing a little... you get the point."
"Yeah," I said, confused. "So, what reason do you have of being here?"
"What?" he said.
"You know, why come near the nurse's office when you could have stayed at lunch?"
"We like to browse around, you know? It's boring there. They make you do your homework and shit, man."
"And the people of World War II wept for your misery."
"Pssh, don't give me your pity, bitch."
Finally, the red ball of clay said, "You like Gumball."
"What?" I said.
"The fish? You got a thing for the two."
"No, they're my friends."
"Look, you can deny a lot of things, but eventually you got let things be and accept what's going to happen. Penny and Gumball like each other, and it seems like you've just dived yourself in a middle of the issue."
"Ignore him," said Rob. "He thinks he's so high and mighty when he starts talking. Like the world has to stop to bear what comes out his and expect Mozart to cry like a bitch for him."
"You know what? Fuck you. I'm proving a point here, and you hide behind your macho-man crap, but at least I'm not a fucking cynical stoner."
"Yeah," I said, still confused. "We'll, thanks, and are you going to see the play?"
"What's it about?" Rob said.
"A love story," I said. "It has Gumball and Penny as the two lovers."
"Shit," he said, like it was an embarrassment to even consider, "unless her shell cracks open and we get to see some titties, count me the fuck out."
"See you, Carrie," the red clay said.
"How do you know—?"
"Don't worry about it. Important plot points doesn't hold continuity, its the characters themselves that drive to their happy ending. And Rob knows. He jerks off to you, late at night."
"Get the fuck out of here!" Rob barked, hitting him upside the head. "Clayton thinks he's the shit when he opens his fatass mouth and shit, don't listen to him."
He walked off, and Clayton said, "Stop fooling around and already end this damn thing. It's not like it's going anywhere."