Good Things
Chapter 5
AN: Thank you so much for the reviews! I was inspired, and here is another chapter. :-) Enjoy, and don't forget to review! Also, I realize that I've been spelling Tyreese's name wrong, and I apologize. It will be correct from now on.
Beth sat huddled in the back seat of the car, almost in Daryl's lap with Sasha squished in between them and Ty, covered in coagulated stinky walker blood. She wasn't sure she could acurately relay what had happened back in the store. Wasn't sure she wanted to remember for a while, at least until she had washed the stench and filth from her skin and hair. She floated in a haze, not completely hearing what they were saying around her, not really thinking or feeling in that moment.
At the very least, she could recall that she hadn't frozen up until they were all safely squeezed into the one vehicle and speeding away. The second car had been left behind in the rush, but they would try to return for it later. They hadn't lost anyone, at least. But there was a new threat. Beth shied away from those thoughts, pulling closer to the comforting warmth that seemed to surround her, soothing the blooming soreness in her body as her eyes stared unseeing out the window.
Coming as close as they had today reaffirmed in her mind that she wasn't willing to go any longer without experiencing anything. Granted, there were things that were no longer possible, but the things that were still within her reach she wouldn't just wonder about any more. She would know what pleasures her body could experience, not just the tingled and tightentings and longings that left her feeling unfulfilled. She would no longer hide and be afriad. It was time to shed the invisible mantle of 'delicate' and 'to be protected' and become her own protector. She had taken a large step toward that today.
Daryl watched Beth as they rode back mostly quiet. He was sure Beth had fallen into some sort of shock, but was willing to give her until they got back to the prison to come out of it on her own. She had surprised him today, and not much surprised him these days. He hated to admit that when he had leared she would be going on the run with them that he had expected her to feeze up when she was faced with a walker. She hadn't. In fact, if he was completely honest with himself, she had probably saved his ass.
He didn't know why they had chosen to visit a store they had never visited before, with Beth who had never been on a run before even, but they had. He was equally unsure why his usually sharp instincts hadn't alerted him earlier, why they hadn't awoken until Beth had caught his attention with the fully stocked medical shelf. Then his whole body had come to life, burning with the sense of wrongness that permeated the store.
There had been signs of the end of the world inside, but the store hadn't been picked clean like everywhere else they had been lately. In fact, it looked like the shelves had just been restocked and the employees had just forgotten to clean. And only two walkers inside, with none outside? He wanted to kick his own ass for even entering the store in the first place.
So when Daryl had signalled for the others, and the signal had come back, he had been ready to leave without the supplies that they needed but would be okay without, when Tyreese had come running toward them waving his arms and panting hard with a pack of ten or more walkers behind him. They had looked fresh, well fed, and were quicker than those that were starved. The three had taken off, yelling a warning to the others as they headed for the front doors.
Daryl would never forget the feeling of helpless rage at seeing their exit blocked off with the trailer of a semi truck parked in front of the doors and more walkers suddenly in the parking lot. Dispatching the ten in the store hadn't been so hard with five of them skilled in their demise, and even Beth's unrefined combat helped. She hadn't hesitated, and for that he was proud of her. It was the group of men that had posed a problem.
As long as he lived, Daryl would never be able to shake the vision of them holding Beth tightly, a knife to her throat and hands roaming her body, or the terror and repugnance in her blue eyes.
His arms tightened, reflexively pulling her slender body closer to him. When they had managed to break free and make it to the car, Daryl hadn't been willing to let go of Beth to even let her sit with her sister. It seemed the reflex was mutual, for she hadn't let go of his wrist either.
"Do you think there is more of them?" Sasha asked finally, breaking the silence.
Ty grunted, turning from the window to look at his sister. "The way they talked, the way it was all set up... There has to be. We can't afford to think otherwise," he said.
They fell silent again, each thinking about the group of men and how best to protect their family at the prison.
Daryl went back to watching Beth, wondering when he had slipped and let himself start caring for her. He supposed it had always been there, growing and changing like some live thing. It was hard not to care for her. At first it had been small, only caring because she was part of the group. And then, because she was the closest thing to a mother Judy had. Then because she was goodness and light, and so damn optimistic that it hurt. And now? He had promised her that he would show her how a man kept a woman from being lonely, and he had known damn well at the time that it wouldn't be him hurting her. He could spend the rest of his no good life trying to make her happy, and if she was he would be the happiest man in the world. But she wouldn't be, not with him, because he couldn't give her what she needed no matter how hard he tried.
He hadn't been raised, he had grown and raised himself. He had learned things on his own that a kid his age never should have known. He hadn't been pampered, and coddled, and taught what love and God and good things were. No, he knew that feelings only ended in pain. Even his feelings for his brother had ended in pain when Merle had died, courtesy of his prejudiced upbringing that had never left him.
No, Beth was a woman that needed a man who knew how to love her, and could show her that love. As hard as Daryl might try to make her happy, he would never know the right thing to do or say. He would never be whole. He would enjoy her while she wanted him, and when she was gone he would hold the memories tight to hold the hurt at bay. At least her first time would be gentle, and not forced.
Every time he thought about the intentions the men had made clear, he wanted to kill them all over again, and more slowly each time.
Daryl was pulled from his thoughts as the car slowed to a stop. They were at the prison again. He frowned, shaking his head. He must have been really out of it to have not kept track of where they were.
Rick was walking toward them, in that slow gait remniscent of his lawman days, a frown marring his face as he considered them all packed into one vehicle. Glenn opened his door, kneeling next to Daryl's leg to look at Beth.
"I think she's in shock," he said quietly, hoping Maggie wouldn't over hear him. Daryl nodded, shifting on the seat with Beth in his lap.
"Grab m'bow," he grunted at Glenn, stepping out and adjusting Beth so she was cradled in his arms. "Where's Hershel?"
Rick frowned deeper, the curiosity in his eyes as he looked them all over. It was obvious they had run into trouble, and seeing Beth curled up in Daryl's grip with a blank face was troubling. "In the meal hall. Come on, well get her settled and then talk," he said, falling into step beside Daryl as they made their way back into the prison.
Hershel jumped up when he saw them enter, his face sliding into an unreadable mask as Daryl carried Beth closer. "Is she bit?" he demaned, helping settle her on the table.
"Nah, just in shock I think," Daryl supplied, starting to step back. "She did good, didn't freeze up until after." He was careful to keep his pride in her to himself. Maybe she wasn't quite as delicate and useless as they all pretended she was.
Leaving Beth with her father and sister, Daryl stepped to the other side of the room where Rick was already speaking in low tones to Ty and Glenn. The trap needed to be addressed now. It couldn't wait. As if there wasn't enough to worry about with the undead and low supplies, now there was another group out there willing to kill them to take what little they had.
"There were three of them, well armed. Mean. They... they weren't shy about letting us know what their intentions were, especially with Beth," Glenn was telling Rick as Daryl slid into a seat next to them. Rick's gaze hardened, his jaw muscle starting to tic in agitation.
"She sure wasn't gonn' give up withou' a fight, though," Daryl added, grinning slowly remembering how she had suddenly come alive with fire and caused enough of a distraction for them to get close enough to take the men out. Well, two of the men anyway. Beth's knife had ended up in the heart of the mean tatted man that had been freely groping her body.
Rick quirked a brow at him, seeing Glenn's lips tug up in a small smile too. "She needs some training, some direction, but she killed that bastard before we had gotten the other two taken care of," Glenn informed him. Rick's eyes widened for a moment before he too grinned slightly. They were all proud of her.
"I think thas' why she's in shock," Daryl added, glancing back toward where Hershel had finally gotten Beth to sit up and lift her own cup to her lips.
"That's hard on anyone, let alone on her first time out and feeling like she was going to be..." Rick broke off, unwilling to say the word. Sasha dropped into the seat next to Rick.
"We need to start training everyone in the basics. It's not safe out there, Rick. Not for anyone anymore. Any one who can hold a weapon needs to be taught.
Rick nodded. "We'll figure it out tomorrow. There is too many to teach everyone at once. We'll split them up by age and ability, defense basics first and walker killing second. Then weapons. Until then, we'll double our watch. Go get cleaned up and get some rest. Michonne and I will take night shift tonight."
The haze of grey was starting to clear so that Beth could see clearly again. She saw her fathers face, aged and lined with worry as his lips moved. She could barely hear him, like his voice was coming from far off. Would he still love her when he heard? Would he blame her for the blood on her hands when the truth came out? She shivered, the reflex jerking the cup of water in her hands and sending water spilling over the edge and onto her lap. It wasn't cold, more lukewarm, but the sensation was shocking all the same.
Reality slammed into her, bright and shockingly clear. It made her eyes hurt and she closed them a moment, shifting a hand to grip the edge of her seat to plant herself more firmly. Her mind whirled, pictures of blood and gore and snapping teeth and sun baked tattoos snaking around her slim torso. Her throat tightened and she wrenched her eyes open, a cry caught in her throat.
"Beth!" Maggie cried, standing in front of her suddenly hands gripping her tense shoulders. "Its okay, we're home. We're safe."
The words penetrated her brain slowly, the tension leaving her body gradually. "Maggie?" she whispered, her own hands coming up to clutch at her sisters clothing.
"Hey hey, its okay," Maggie whispered, hugging her close. "Lets go get cleaned up, and then we'll lay down and take a nap, okay? Like when we were little, do you rememeber?" Maggie's arm slipped around her waist helping support her and steady her as they stood. Hershel watched, concerned for his youngest daughter, as his oldest led her away toward the showers.
Beth pushed all the thoughts of the run out of her head, determined not to think about it. The man she had killed had deserved to die, but she couldn't believe she had done it. She had been taught to walk away from conflict and let God deal out His justice. Killing walkers was a far cry different than killing another live human being. It was against the commandments. She had stained her soul when his had left his body. She cringed, turning her face up to the barely warm water coming out of the shower head Maggie had ushered her under.
Taking hold of the bar of soap, she lathered it and started srubbing at the large stains of blood and goo on her clothes, deciding it would be best to wash them before taking them off since she was already in them and wet. She felt Maggie hovering beside her, doing much the same thing as she was, but paying close attention to her. Probably wondering if she would lose it and try to cut herself again.
Beth winced at the reminder of her past weakness. She had grown so much since then. She didn't want to die. Was she alright, then, with her soul being stained by murder in order to live? She pondered that, circling the question as she showered. It was late afternoon by now, and dinner would be prepared shortly. She wouldn't go, she decided. She would eat in her room, afraid that if she went everyone would magically see the word 'murderer' written across her forehead. No, she would hide, and try to come to terms with this new mark against her. An invisible scar to match the now barely visible one on her inner wrist.
Attempted suicide and murder. Two sins that would forever mark her. That might keep her from joining her mother and brother in heaven. If there was such a place. She wasn't entirely sure she believed as fiercely as she once had. Even if the belief wasn't as steadfast, Beth still mourned the potential loss of her entrance there. Her mother would be so disappointed in her.
"Come on, before you catch a cold," Maggie said, appearing at Beth's side with a clean towel that had been faded by stains and age. She was already dried and dressed in fresh clothes, also bearing the strain of age. Beth nodded, reaching to turn the faucet off and letting Maggie help her dress and leading her back to Maggie and Glenn's cell.
"I just want to be alone right now. I will see you in the morning," Beth told Maggie, not missing the disappointment and worry that shone in her green eyes as she hugged her waist. "I just need some time to think, thats all," she assured her sister, giving her a quick hug before making her way down to her cell. Pulling the door closed behind her she lay down on her bunk, where just that morning she had been dreaming about what it would feel like to have Daryl Dixon make a woman out of her. She shivered, turning onto her side and squeezing her eyes closed. There was only a few hours to make peace with herself before she was due to meet him that night, if he still showed up.
AN: Until the previous chapter, I hadn't been sure of where I wanted this to go other than Daryl and Beth coming together. Since adding in the other group, I've decided that this group will be a darker version of the Governor's second group.