Sasuke was sorting through his supplies for what wanted to take on the road when he heard rustling behind him. Sakura was on her side, head propped in one hand. She blinked at him sleepily.

"You hungry?" He asked.

"Starving."

He grunted and took a bowl to the pot hung over a fire that held the dinner he had made.

Sakura groaned as she rolled up to sitting. She moved very stiffly. She sat cross-legged and accepted the dinner.

"It's just a vegetable soup."

"Mh." Sakura sniffed. "Smells good. Thanks." She hunched over the bowl and dug in.

After a few minutes she looked up at Sasuke, that was when he realized he was staring at her. "What is it?" She asked.

"You look better."

Sakura shrugged. "I'm not going die." She returned her attention to her soup. "Reduced the pain and fixed the worst of the internal damage. But my chakra is pretty much gone." A huge yawn worked its way out from deep inside and she scrubbed her eyes. "This sucks."

"I'm sorry." Sasuke said automatically.

"Don't say that," Sakura snapped. Her mouth clicked shut.

Sasuke stiffened but he was determined to speak his mind. "If you were reckless I was far more violent than necessary. The chidori was only meant to threaten the Iwa shinobi but once the genjutsu was gone I reacted on reflex." He gritted his teeth. "I swore to limit the harm I caused. I swore people wouldn't suffer for my actions anymore."

He ground his teeth for a few seconds and practically growled, "But I did it again. I hurt you again. So I'm sorry."

Silence descended in the cottage. Sakura's grip on the bowl seemed to tighten. Finally she resumed eating.

Sasuke forced himself to breathe. He wasn't quite done. "I have to imagine you have a team nearby. If you intend to contact them I won't stand in your way." He turned to the knapsack he was preparing.

"No, you'll just run." Sakura's voice was dry and it gave Sasuke a moment's pause.

"I have to go anyway. More Iwa have been seen in the area. They'll find the field eventually."

"So..."

"I put a genjutsu around the cottage so even if they pay another villager for information on where I live, it won't be easy to find this place."

"Is that how they got you today?"

Sasuke sighed. "They paid one of the young men from the village to tell me there was a man with a sword, ranting and threatening people down at the south bend in the river where the road leads to Iwa territory. I thought I would find a crowd, instead those two jumped out. I thought I had to protect Kouki, that guy who took me to where I was supposed to find the lunatic." Sasuke shrugged. "He wasn't the one in trouble."

"I wonder," Sakura muttered.

"About what?"

"I came here to investigate Iwa shinobi crossing into the Land of Fire illegally. This area is being argued over by the daimyo of both countries. It turned out old Ohnoki could keep the daimyo from the Land of Earth from grabbing all the territory he set his eyes on. But ever since he passed away the new Tsutchikage has been happy to let his shinobi sneak across our borders and pretend this is Earth Country.

"Anyway, I never expected to find you here. So I wonder if the Iwa just got lucky or if they came here looking for you."

"Hn."

"Sasuke..." Sakura sighed and put down her empty bowl. "It's obvious that you've put the past behind you." She glanced at him, holding eye contact for a second before looking away. "Who you were is not who you are. I heard the questions they were asking you. They wanted you to betray Konoha, and you were resisting."

Sasuke wanted to speak but Sakura forestalled him. "Wait, look, I'm not naive enough anymore to think that you really care about Konoha all of a sudden. I had to get you free of the genjutsu so the Iwa wouldn't make you to give us up. That's all."

Sasuke studied her face as Sakura stared back at him with a cold, steady gaze. He wondered where that little girl who had so doted on him had gone. If she was another casualty of the war, it was probably for the best. She was too soft and silly for the shinobi world.

"Thank you for getting me out of there." He finally said. He said nothing about killing the Iwa shinobi. Though indirectly, their deaths were his fault.

"Sure." Sakura tried to stand but couldn't seem to manage it. "Ugh no wonder the ninja I treat are so cranky all the time. Not being able to control my body is the worst!"

Sasuke bit his tongue against another apology. As long as Sakura could not even stand up he was extremely loathe to leave her alone. She clearly didn't even have the energy for a genjutsu of her own.

"I'll stay here until you can get back to your team. If you need help contacting them I can arrange a messenger but that means I'll leave the second it's done."

Sakura looked somewhat shocked. Sasuke took on her scandalized stare calmly. "You'll...stay? To take care of me?"

Sasuke was starting to feel somewhat embarrassed by her stare. "As long as you don't reach out to your team, I'll help you out. I don't need Konoha shinobi breathing down my neck as well as Iwa."

Sakura said nothing.

Sasuke looked away. "Stop staring at me."

"It's just...you really are different. I..." Sakura looked away for a moment but soon looked back at Sasuke. She whispered, "What the hell happened?"

Sasuke closed his eyes. He couldn't possibly answer the question. Not now. Not to her. He turned back to his knapsack. "The war wasn't enough?"

"But..." Sakura paused, perhaps to better pick her words. "You came at Naruto so fast and hard. And he... I couldn't see most of it, but I know Naruto. I know he didn't just fight with his fists and the kyuubi. And then he was on the ground and you were gone." Another pause. "That can't be enough to convince Sasuke Uchiha to be kind. Never mind getting rid of clothing with symbols of the Uchiha, you were proud of that to the end! And I haven't seen a single weapon either, where is your sword?"

Sasuke wanted to swear. It had been years since anyone pried into him about his past. "I threw it away. I threw all weapons away three years ago."

Sasuke could feel Sakura's shock bore into his back. He refused to turn around as he kept packing.

"You really... you've quit being a shinobi?"

Sasuke scoffed. "I can't stop being a shinobi any more than I can stop breathing. My chakra is awake, my training will be with me forever." Then he turned to Sakura. "But I don't have to be a part of the life anymore. I usually don't have to resort to violence and I don't have to think of being helpful to others as something that costs me."

Sakura had a considering look, like she was trying to assess how much she trusted what she saw and what she heard. "But the villagers come to you when there's a dangerous situation."

Sasuke grunted. He had forgotten about the medicine Genmei had sold to him. He passed the sacks to Sakura. "The villagers don't like shinobi, at least not the older ones. During the past wars some of the battles came through the area and burned the fields and destroyed homes. Some ninja went through the village, taking whatever they could and killing anyone in their way.

"The people only remember it was ninja who did it. They didn't pay attention to what country they were from since at one point or another ninja from every country came through here. It's like that in a lot of the places where the wars were fought. At first putting away obvious signs that I was a shinobi just meant people didn't hassle me, and that way I didn't have to fight them.

"But the more I heard how much anger there is out there, and the more I see how that anger has been earned, the more I come to realize that shinobi never did anything good for the world. That's how I started thinking of myself as a former shinobi.

"The villagers don't care, of course. To them a shinobi is no better than a murderer and a thief. But they didn't know me one way or the other so they didn't mind if I stayed in this broken down cottage. Genmei says before the Third Great Shinobi War this place was built by a fisherman. But he disappeared during the war. Ever since, ninja passing through the area typically squat here, so I'm no different.

"One day I was in the village when I heard about some kids that got snatched off the road. The boys were being held for ransom or they would be killed. The girl...she was older. The kidnappers said she would cost extra or they would keep her for themselves.

"I said I'd take care of it, and I did. They were just thugs so it was easy to tie them up and turn them over to the authorities. The kids were safe and sound. But it was obvious to everyone that I wasn't just a wandering laborer. Ever since I've only been tolerated. They come and get me when they need someone to deal with dangerous people." Sasuke shrugged. He could feel heat covering his ears after having talked about himself so much.

"So..." said Sakura. "You're like a specialized police force."

Sasuke made a face. He had been trying not to think exactly that of himself.

Sakura took in a breath and let it out again. "But now you're going to leave them. You're going to leave everyone all over again."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. What was she driving at?

Sakura took a deep breath. "Naruto would want me to tell you to come home. He would want me to do whatever it took." Her gaze was level and Sasuke could read nothing from her face.

"And do you want me to go back?"

Sakura snorted. "As if my opinion ever mattered to you. I'm just pointing out a fact. My Hokage believes you belong in Konoha."

They stared hard at each other until Sasuke nodded to the herbs and bandages. "There isn't a real doctor in a village. But there's an old lady who knows how to bind wounds and herbs for every ailment." Sakura started to go through them. "Genmei. Her husband was killed by shinobi during the war. He was respected in the village so Genmei isn't the only one who's still pissed that he died. I asked her to come see you and help you recover. I couldn't get her to come out. But she did sell me all that."

"Hm." Sakura glanced up at Sasuke and then back to the sacks. "A lot of this is medicine that I can definitely use, but there are a few things in here that don't make sense. Let me guess, you told her you'd leave to get her off your back about harboring a shinobi, and she gave you a bunch of extra meds for the road?"

"Something like that."

Sakura shook her head and dropped the sacks on her lap. She crossed her arms. "That's just like you. You make a home. You get people to believe in you, and then you run when things get tricky."

Sasuke frowned. "It's just like a Konoha ninja to say that the tragedy they bring to a village is 'tricky.' Genmei is glad I'm leaving and I know she's not alone."

Sakura looked and sounded peeved. "You used to be proud to take a stand. You never let other people push you off the ground you claimed. You were once proud to be from Konoha and you were always proud to be Uchiha. And just because you found out some hard truths, that's it? You're going to throw away your pride?"

Sasuke could feel heat crawling up his neck. His pride had caused so much trouble. "This is not about my pride. This is best for the village." He ground out.

"How is it for the best? If the village is about to be beset, as you make it sound, how will your leaving make anything better? Just who are you if you don't take pride in anything?" Sakura leaned forward in her seat, with hands on her thighs.

Sasuke gritted his teeth. He was not used to this side of Sakura at all. "The village will have one less shinobi to worry about, and if the Iwa try to chase after me then there goes that problem too."

"Oh come off it. You're saying that this is for the good of the village, but really it just gets your ass out of trouble!"

"Excuse me, trouble with the Iwa? I didn't kill their shinobi." Sasuke's voice ticked up in volume.

"The Iwa aren't going to care unless you stand your ground and tell them that." Sakura's volume also increased and her face dared him to shout her down.

Their voices went on raising, higher and higher. "So I should just throw you to them? When you can't even stand?"

"It'll get them off your ass faster than hiding in a cottage that's halfway to falling down!"

"Just a couple minutes ago you were fine with me taking care of you, now you don't care if I left you to be tortured and killed by Iwa shinobi!" Sasuke couldn't stop the flood of words coming out of his mouth.

"I expected that you would do that from the start, because the you I remember wouldn't have hesitated to leave me back in that field! And that's assuming that guy back then wouldn't have killed me himself!"

"Goddammit, I already said I regret that crap that I did. Don't talk to me like I'm the only ninja that ever needlessly got blood on their hands! Konoha is pretty fucking tainted by its past failures!" Sasuke could barely control himself. He was shouting, feeling rage boil in his chest, his head and arms.

Sakura remained seated but her hands flew, pointing at him and occasionally making fists. "Ugh Can't you see that's why you'd be better off in Konoha than wandering around the back roads of the Five Great Nations? Where else are you going to find people who understand what it's like to let go of the life?"

"Don't fucking talk to me like you understand! I am not going back there like nothing fucking happened, like Konoha didn't ruin my fucking life!" Sasuke screamed.

"I understand plenty! You're trying to tell me that you don't need your pride. That you don't want to be a shinobi anymore. But I think that's bullshit! I think you've tried to forget your training and then something happens like some kids get kidnapped and there you go acting like a hero!"

Sasuke snarled, "Sakura-"

"I'm not done! You wanted to do something for the village, just like you didn't want to betray Konoha. And you can say it's because you don't want people to suffer because of you, but it's also that pride that gets you up every day. That tells you the difference from right and wrong and doesn't let you sit around and watch while the world stumbles around like a drunken idiot. It's that pride that forces you to help keep people safe, and it's that pride that's making you mad at me for talking about it! You'll never be able to throw away your shinobi heart and that's why you run away!"

"You want me to make this village a battlefield? Is that what you want?!" Sasuke could feel himself trembling with anger.

Sakura hitched and continued in a slightly lower tone. "I never said to make it a battlefield. I said, take a stand. You do know there are other ways of solving disputes without fighting, right?"

Sasuke scoffed. "You're asking ME? After you killed those two Iwa? At any point in time when you fought them did you stop to ask why I hadn't killed them? Did it ever occur to you that I was trying to deal with them without killing them?"

Sakura's cheeks were pink. "By the time I got there you were already caught, so whatever you HAD been trying to do, you'd already failed!" Sakura pressed her lips together for a moment. "I'm trying to tell you there are alternatives when you let people help you. Alone all you can do is keep running."

Sasuke was getting sick of this fight. He was feeling confused about what he wanted to do and he hated that feeling more than anything. "What the hell am I supposed to then?" He spat out.

"Don't let the Iwa push these people around, and don't let them run you off. Hell, I'll help you once I can move on my own two feet. Even Naruto would understand and have your back. At that point, believe me, the Iwa shinobi would back down so fast your head would spin."

"Oh great, so your suggestion is that I ask you and Naruto for help after everything that's happened? And then just expect that we'll all be diplomatic and that a bunch of ninja will just see reason and put down their weapons? Tsch." Ninja went blood for blood, expecting anything else was dangerously stupid.

"You know what?" Sakura's voice was suddenly much lower, but still incredibly intense. "I just realized something. You have changed a little bit, you're not in a hurry to fight the whole world anymore. But you still haven't changed from being someone who only believes in himself.

"If you really want to make something different happen in this world you'll have to take a stand. Put your pride in your home or your life. Make a couple friends and then rely on them - and then be proud when they rely on you! And don't let Iwa - or Konoha - force you to leave a place that finally starts to feel like home!"

The scent of smoke in the autumn air came to him and he could hear a laugh that he had not heard in three years echoing in his ears. He ground his teeth hard and stared at Sakura.

She chuckled, though he noted her breath was harsh - she was exhausting herself. "Ho-ho, if looks could kill you'd owe me another apology!"

"Tsch. Get some sleep, Sakura." Sasuke turned back to his knapsack once more. "You're... you're so damned-"

"Annoying? How could I forget? Well too fucking bad, Sasuke, by this point I've been called much worse."

Over his shoulder he snapped, "You've changed too. You used to fall all over yourself to try to be with me, and now you act like you hate me."

"Well, maybe I do." Sakura's voice was scathing. Sasuke stiffened and a feeling like cold electric shocks ran down his spine.

Sasuke could hear take Sakura take a shaky breath. "For years and years people told me to grow up and get over you, to quit being so naive. Looks like I-" Sakura's voice faltered. "Looks like I finally did." She whispered.

Sasuke turned to her in alarm.

"Dammit," she muttered. She pressed a hand to her chest and drew in a whistling breath.

"Sakura." Sasuke stepped toward her.

"Stay away," She ordered. "I don't need you. If you want to stick around because you feel guilty, go ahead. But I can take care of myself. I've been doing that for the last eight years without anyone's help."

Sasuke stood back and watched Sakura master her breathing. He felt cold in his chest and acid in his stomach. "I wasn't going to call you annoying. I was going to call you bitter. You've become bitter and cynical."

Sakura made a face. "I had to grow up."

They were still for a moment. Then Sakura pushed the neat pile of medical supplies to one side and lay back down on the pallet. She rolled to face the wall and pulled the blanket over her head.

Sasuke stared at her for a full minute. "Tsch," he scoffed. What did she think she was going to accomplish by lecturing him about pride? It was his pride that cost him so much. He glowered at Sakura's back. She could just keep her bitchy know-it-all attitude to herself.

He cleaned up the dinner and tidied up the cottage for the night. It was nearly midnight and he had had a long day. Sakura was the one seriously hurt, but he hadn't escaped unscathed - he had burned a healthy amount of chakra while under the genjutsu. But in the tiny one room cottage Sakura lay on the only place suitable for a bed.

Sasuke indulged his angry thoughts as he arranged clothing and cloth sacks into a small nest he could sit on by the door. He would have to sleep sitting up. He arranged himself and glanced over to Sakura, dimly lit by the half moon filtering in from a single window. He could tell from how she breathed that she was still awake.

It was going to be a long night. Sasuke felt fatigued but still aggravated from arguing with Sakura. She was lying so stiffly that he guessed she felt similarly. He sat back against the wall and rubbed his eyes. She really hated him.

Sasuke finally asked himself a question that had been in his face since returning from the field. Why the hell wasn't he half way to Kiri by now? He could... He very well could simply leave. But he stayed. For what? The cottage? The village? To stay in the Land of Fire? For Sakura? None of that particularly moved him, he thought. He couldn't figure it out and it made him restless.

-傷-

And finally, you see why I'm filing this under drama. They, um, have a lot to work out.

Random thought, I really dislike the term "feisty" and hate it when Sakura is called feisty because she insists something for herself. Hm. Well this Sakura has issues... Just don't call her feisty.