A/N: Dudes. I had plans for this chapter. I thought I was down to two chapters and an epilogue. But Mr. Cullen had different ideas, the asshole. Sigh!

"Ugh. Is it sad I just want to take a nap for my birthday?"

"Hell yes, it's sad. It's a goddamned tragedy is what it is." Emily reached over, clapping Bella on the arm. "Who the hell goes to school on their birthday, anyway? Don't you know that's the great thing about college? You decide if you show up or not. But that's the least tragic thing about today. We should be on a plane to Vegas right now. We should be drunk off our asses in five hours. You know, Bella, your being pregnant is really messing with my fun."

Bella rolled her eyes, but she smiled at her friend. "So sorry for the inconvenience."

Laughing, Emily reached over and ruffled her hair. "I suppose I'll forgive you, but you really should consider naming the kid after me. I think you owe me that much."

Luckily, they'd reached the house at that point. Because it was Bella's birthday and their afternoon classes had finished at the same time, Emily had insisted on coming home with her. It made sense seeing as she was supposed to go to dinner with them when Edward got home.

Emily linked her arm with Bella's as they headed up the walk together. Bella unlocked the door and stepped inside.

"Surprise!"

Bella yelped as she found herself surrounded by grinning people. "Oh my god." She cried out again when she began to process just who was all around her. "Dad!"

In a rush of uncharacteristic emotion, she flung her arms around her father's neck. He huffed in surprise but hugged her back just as tightly. "Hey, Bells."

"And Jake." Bella released her father to hug Jacob. She pulled back, still stunned. "What are you doing here? How did you get here?"

Jake glanced over his shoulder, and Bella followed his gaze. "Your, uh, boyfriend arranged everything," Jake said with grudging approval.

When she saw Edward, Bella automatically untangled herself from Jacob's embrace, nerves twisting in her stomach, but Edward only smiled at her, his expression serene. "Happy birthday," he said, and she relaxed again.

"He's a good guy," Charlie said, his voice gruff.

Grinning now, Bella went to hug Edward around his waist. "He really is," she said, pressing a kiss to the underside of his chin.

All in all, the surprise party consisted mostly of Edward's family. The whole Cullen clan was in attendance, including Edward's nephews, his niece, Angela, and the only member of the family Bella hadn't met-Rosalie. There were also two other students besides Emily, both from Jasper's poetry group, neither of whom Bella knew extremely well, but were friendly. Bella made sure she hugged everyone-well, Rosalie she nodded at-moved by their support.

It was a Vegas themed party. Edward, with no small amount of help from Alice and Esme, had turned their living room into a mini casino. There was a card table, computers set up with online slots, and a bar with a menu of virgin drinks, and a buffet of delicious food. Burlesque was playing in the background-the Vegas show, Bella gathered.

Jasper tended bar, and Emmett's twins, Brent and Bryce, kept plying Bella with Jello shots-sans alcohol, of course.

But the star of the party by far was the Cullen patriarch. Emmett and Jasper cackled to themselves as Carlisle took his place as dealer. Apparently, they were well aware he was a card shark. Bella laughed with the rest of them, watching him do those fancy card shuffling moves before he dealt everyone in. He kept the game moving at lightning pace and, true to Vegas form, he made it very difficult to beat the house.

"This is high stakes poker, son," Carlisle told Brent when he whined about a big loss. "Don't bet more than you can afford to lose."

"High stakes?" Aiden scoffed. "I think you've had too many Shirley Temples, Gramps. We're playing with quarters."

"High stakes. Blow," Carlisle said to April who was sitting by his side. She giggled and blew on the stack of cards for luck. Nodding in satisfaction, Carlisle dealt the next hand.

When the game switched from poker to Blackjack, Bella got up to stretch. She took her plate to the kitchen, and that was where Rosalie cornered her. Bella wasn't going to pretend she didn't find the woman intimidating. She couldn't help but wrap an arm protectively around her belly.

But Rosalie wasn't there to fight. She smiled wryly. "I wanted to apologize," she said, giving Bella the second biggest shock of her night. "I know I've been rude, but to be honest, I didn't think Edward could handle all of this. I thought he'd have a breakdown once and for all, and I figured you'd eventually want nothing to do with any of us after that."

Bella didn't know what she was supposed to say to that, but Rosalie didn't seem to expect a response. "In any event, he's changed. He's changing, and that's not a bad thing. I figure anyone who can get him to pull his head out of his ass can't be too bad."

"Um. Thanks? I think?"

Rosalie smiled again. "Congratulations, by the way. About the baby." Her smile faltered the slightest bit, and she took a shaky breath. "You're lucky. I know it probably doesn't seem like it sometimes, but you're lucky in a lot of ways."

"I know," Bella said, her hands to her bump. "Really."

The blond woman studied her for a few more beats and nodded. "Welcome to the family."

How odd, Bella thought as she looked around a few minutes later. A year ago, she'd celebrated a quiet birthday alone in her room. Her father tried to draw her out, but she was lost to her noisy mind. Now, she was somehow part of this larger mishmash of wonderful, flawed, beautiful people.

As though she wanted to join the fun, the baby fluttered in her little hidey hole. Bella rubbed at the spot, smiling. At the beginning of this, she'd taken a chance on a hope and a prayer that this baby wasn't going to destroy her life. It could have. It could have destroyed them both.

Bella looked across the room, watching as a minor miracle unfolded. Damien, Alice and Jasper's toddler son, crawled over to Edward. He wound his tiny fists in Edward's pants, hauling himself to his feet. He looked up at his uncle, giggled, and lifted his arms.

Bella wasn't the only one watching with bated breath to see what would happen. Edward stared down at the boy with a knit in his brow, his face pinched in pain. Damien was only a month older than Xavier had been when he died. It must have been devastating for Edward to see the boy grinning and healthy.

Slowly, Edward leaned over and pulled the baby up to settle on his lap. Damien babbled at him in babyspeak, and Bella watched as a sad but genuine smile spread over Edward's face. He ducked and blew a raspberry against the little boy's neck. Damien threw his head back, shrieking with mirth, and Edward smiled wider.

"Baby girl, you're my favorite mistake," Bella whispered to her daughter.

~0~

When the party was over, Charlie went home with Carlisle and Esme. Bella took that as a good sign. He liked them. She thought they liked him. Everyone was getting along. They were all going to the Grand Canyon the next morning- Bella, Edward, Carlisle, Esme, Charlie, and Jacob.

Jacob stayed with Bella and Edward, taking the room that had been Bella's for the last three weeks.

For all intents and purposes, Bella and Edward were a couple. They were in a weird space. Yes, they lived together. Yes, they were going to have a baby, but in reality they'd only known each other six months. On a more typical timeline, they wouldn't necessarily be cohabitating already. For the time being, Bella needed and appreciated the little bit of personal space she got from having her own room. Their relationship was new and way too complicated.

All that aside, that night wouldn't be the first Bella had spent in Edward's room in the last three weeks. Tonight was slightly different though. It felt different.

As she left Jake in her room and walked down the hallway, her heart began to pound. Much to Bella's eternal irritation, she was nervous. Nervous to the point of straight out fear.

She knew exactly why. She knew why an ice cold chill ran down her spine and a lump settled in her throat. No matter how much she told herself she was being stupid, she couldn't shake the anxiety and paranoia that threatened.

This birthday was nothing like the ones she'd spent with Mike. He'd demanded all her attention and had been petulant when she wanted to include Charlie in their plans. He'd been pissed as always when Jacob showed up with gifts and, heaven forbid, hugs.

No, this wasn't like that at all. Edward had surrounded her with people. He was the one who'd paid for Jacob's flight. He wasn't Mike. This wasn't the same and her rational mind knew it.

Dammit, she wanted her birthday nookie. That was one of the perks of having a boyfriend. Especially this boyfriend. After tonight, she was more in love with him than ever. She wanted to celebrate with him. She was happy. Happy with him, and happy to see him connecting with family. Just happy.

And she was scared. As she came into the room, face to face with him, she was everything at once-in love, happy, horny, and scared.

Edward walked toward her one slow step at a time, his head tilted as he studied her. He took her hands and raised them to his lips. "I can sleep on the couch tonight. It's not a big deal."

She raised her head, leveling a glare that wasn't meant for him. Rather than say something she was going to regret, she led him over to the bed. "Sit down," she said, pointing to the headboard.

Edward sat, and she climbed onto the bed after him. She sat at his side and rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped her in his arms, giving her the safe space she needed.

This was how she coped with the things that plagued her. This was how she tried to move forward with him. Whenever the specter of her past reared its ugly head, Bella tried her damndest to talk it out. It helped her process, and though it was one of the hardest things in the world to do, when she shared her burdens, the weight on her shoulders was lighter. It was also the fairest thing she could think of for Edward. He was so patient with her. Understanding the things that had happened to her helped him know what her reactions were really about. It lessened the chance he would trigger her.

With his arms around her and her face turned into his neck, Bella told Edward what it was like when Mike had to see her with Jacob, even on her birthday.

"He would rant about respect and make me feel like the world's shittiest girlfriend. Especially because I did it more than once. I could give up so much, but Jacob was stubborn, and it was nice to have a friend." Bella took a shaky breath. "It was like a tug of war. Jake could always convince me it was okay to hang out, but then Mike always seemed justified in the things he was saying. It made sense-that it was disrespectful to hang out with another guy when I had a boyfriend."

Bella straightened up, wrapping her arms around herself as she shuddered. "Then he would start to kiss me hard. Rough. I would tell him he was scaring me. It didn't matter. It never mattered. He needed to show me I was his."

Edward's breath was ragged, and she could see his hands were gripped in fists in the comforter. "I want to ask you something, because I want to understand, but I don't know how to say it without it sounding condescending."

Hugging herself, Bella rocked a bit. "You can ask."

"It wasn't your fault, okay? Nothing was your fault. I really don't think that. I just…" He touched her arm gently. "Didn't you know it was rape? Every time you were scared and unwilling. Did you think that was the way it was supposed to be?"

Bella rocked harder, looking away from him. "I thought that at first. That it was supposed to be bad at first. People say that. It's bad, but then it gets better. I think I was waiting for that part."

She closed her eyes tightly. "You know the thing people don't like to think about guys like him? He did love me. People say things about love as if it's some magical state of being; as if he were truly in love with me, he would have been incapable of doing all those horrible things. Well, that's bullshit. Love doesn't stop people from hurting someone. No amount of love would have cured what was warped in him, but that doesn't mean he didn't love me. He did. And I loved him.

"Of course, you want to believe what they say about love. I knew he loved me; therefore, I couldn't believe he wanted to hurt me. And he was right, after all. I was young and stupid. I provoked him. I hurt him when I went around with another man. I mean, these things made sense. So I didn't blame him when he was rough with me. Isn't that what they teach you passion is about? Isn't that what I was supposed to want? Someone who wants me so much they can't stand it? They do crazy things? Passion is violence, isn't it?"

She sighed, pulling her legs up closer to her body. "And then…" Her cheeks burned. "It wasn't always bad. Sex, I mean. There were times I almost liked it. I don't know. At least, most of the time it wasn't scary. Sometimes he… he would go down on me, and that...that made me orgasm. When he did it, he wouldn't expect me to reciprocate, and later he would tell me if he didn't care about what I wanted, he wouldn't do stuff like that."

"Christ. Manipulative bastard."

"I guess, to answer your question, the whole sex thing confused me. A lot of times, afterward, I would cry because I felt used. Degraded. And looking back, I can't figure out why I thought that was okay. It made sense at the time. Or it didn't make sense, and I excused it like I excused everything else-I was being immature and naive, whatever."

She shrugged. "Anyway. I'm not confused anymore. I know what he did. I know what to call it."

Edward put his arm back around her, pulling her close, letting her breathe. "That's why you don't want to orgasm, isn't it? He even used that against you."

He wasn't expecting an answer, she knew. He was just processing out loud, and he was right. Every time Bella would start to think that maybe what Mike was doing to her was wrong, that she shouldn't feel that way when she had sex with the man she loved, she would think about how much pleasure he gave her. He'd used it more than once when she tried to talk to him about how she felt when he scared her, how rough he could be.

"If you didn't like it, I wouldn't be able to make you come," he'd said.

Bella sat up and turned around.

"What are you-" Edward started, but he cut off when Bella straddled his lap. His hands went to her waist, and his eyes to hers.

Bella took a deep, steadying breath. "Touch me," she whispered.

He did. Without hesitation he began not to merely touch her. He caressed. He drew his fingertips up her sides, brushed the back of his knuckles along the line of her chin. Bella closed her eyes, leaning her head into his hand when he cupped her cheek.

When he began to kiss her, that too was gentle. These weren't kisses that were meant to lead to something more. No, this was what she'd asked for-touch, and like his hands the touch of his lips was reverent. Bella tilted her head back as he pressed kiss after kiss to her neck.

They shifted, and he laid her down on her back. His fingers made quick work of the buttons of her shirt, and even this wasn't leading. He simply wanted access to more of her skin. He kissed her soft and slow as his fingers explored her body.

There was pleasure in the electricity that raced across her flesh. There was pleasure in the taut pull of her nipples and the tickle of his fingers at her most sensitive spots. There was satisfaction in the sensation, the way her body came alive for Edward.

For now, the knowledge that they could rewrite what she knew about love and touch and sex was more than enough. For now, it was all the pleasure she needed.

A/N: Okay. I think for really reals we have two more chapters and an epilogue left...but you know, Edward and Bella have minds of their own, I swear.

Many thanks to barburella, songster, moh, Packy 2.0, and jessypt for everything they do to make my words better.