24. Faded – The Veronicas

Sometimes Yuugi caught Anzu not looking at him, but through him, searching for someone who wasn't there anymore – the someone he couldn't be for her, and never really was in the first place. She'd smile and wave her hands, denying it because she knew it was cruel, but she couldn't disguise that look and Yuugi had become horribly adept at reading her eyes.

He tried to be more like Yami – no, Atem, or maybe a blend of the two versions of his Other Me. he stood taller, deepened his voice, gave thumbs-up inside of hugs and smirked instead of smiled. His friends were confused, which made him shake off the behaviour in embarrassment. Of course he wasn't Yami. Of course.

Still, when he caught Anzu's eyes sliding to a point just above his head, he always ended up doing it again.

"Are you feeling okay, Yuugi?"

"Fine, fine, just … uh … hey, did you do last night's Physics homework? I got completely stuck on question seven."

He felt like he had a line of dominos instead of veins and arteries, and eventually all of them would be knocked over, revealing a picture of someone else inside him. But somehow, though they rocked and wobbled, the dominoes stayed upright and he was still just him: Yuugi Mutou; gamer; short-guy; friend.

"Do you really miss him?" he asked Anzu one day on the way to school.

She blinked in surprise. "Of course I do. Don't you?"

"Yeah," he said sadly, staring at the sidewalk. He didn't notice that she'd stopped until three paving slabs later. "Anzu?"

"Do you …" she started, twisting her fingers together in front of her. "Um … do you think about him a lot?"

"Sure I do. He was in my head and soul. It was like losing a part of myself."

"This must be really hard for you," she said, a note of ultimate sadness in her voice that Yuugi couldn't even begin to understand. "Not having such a big part of your heart around anymore."

"I guess you could put it that way." He laughed, trying to lighten the atmosphere. "It's kind of like having a leg removed and then trying to play DDR."

But instead of laughing, Anzu just smiled sadly and started walking again, going at a much faster pace than before. Yuugi had to hurry to keep up. It was like she was trying to get away from him, though she did keep looking over her shoulder to make sure he was still there.

That day after school Yuugi went to the mall and bought some more chains and belts from the store Yami favoured most. He wore them when Anzu came over to help him with his Physics homework. She blinked, eyes on his waist, so he knew she'd seen them, but she went past him into the kitchen and never said a word about his efforts to give her what he thought she wanted.