A/N: So, I thought I'd be kind and give you another update today. It's been pointed out to me that maybe all these updates on the same day may be too much for you all. I've decided to split my stories so half gets updated on a Saturday and half on a Sunday or maybe there will be a day in between the updates.

The next day Addison was sat at one of the exam tables in the practice and nervously tapped her fingers against her thigh as she watched Naomi prepare the syringe.

"Do you have to do that where I can see it?" Addison frowned. She wanted to look away but couldn't.

"It's just a needle, Addison." Naomi looked down at the syringe as she pulled it back.

"I don't like them," she pointed out and held back a shiver. Pete stood next to the exam table and watched her with a smile on his face. "Just hurry up and do what you have to." Addison slowly turned her head from Naomi and tried not to cringe.

Pete reached down and took hold of the hand that tapped against her thigh to calm her while Naomi turned and walked towards them. Without thinking about it, Addison squeezed his hand as tight as she could.

"It's just a needle. You stick them into other people all the time." He looked down at her as he held her hand.

"Exactly. I stick them into other people, not into myself." She looked up at him. "I'm not the one who feels it being inserted. I just insert it."

"Alright, just look at me, okay?" Pete held her gaze as Naomi placed the needle on her arm.

"Is looking at you supposed to help?" Addison winced as she felt the needle being pushed into her arm.

"Yes, unless you want to watch the needle being pushed into you."

Addison mumbled something but kept her head turned away from her arm. Pete sighed and loosened the grip on her hand as Naomi inserted the hormones.

"All done." Naomi smiled and gently pulled the needle back out.

"Great." Pete nodded. Addison rubbed at her arm and slowly slid off the exam table.

"If you guys want to try, the next three days would probably be good," Naomi casually informed them as she turned to the counter and put everything away.

"Nae, what are our chances of conceiving naturally?" Addison turned towards her friend and looked at her.

"The chances aren't high, but it's worth the try."

She nodded slowly. "And our chances at conceiving by IVF?"

"Maybe a little higher, it's hard to say." Naomi turned back to them. "But if you want to concentrate on the IVF and stop trying to conceive naturally then that's your choice."

"I'm not saying that." Addison glanced at Pete before back at Naomi. "I'm asking about our chances of becoming pregnant."

"You know what the chances are, Addison." Naomi looked back at her friend. "It would be a little miracle."

"Yeah." Addison nodded. "You're right."

"Don't get your hopes up too much but try to stay positive, it helps."

"I know."

"Oh, and Pete." Naomi looked at him. "I'm going to need your sperm by the end of the week but try not to have sex for twenty-four hours before."

Addison looked at Pete and didn't say anything. She was beginning to wonder if it was all worth it.

"You got it." He nodded before he turned to Addison as well. He knew what was going through her head so he reached for her hands and gave her a soft smile. "We're not going to give up now." She gave him a nod before she turned to leave the office. Pete gave a small sigh and dropped his hands before he walked to the door as well.

Addison sat on a bench on the small park that was opposite the practice and looked out over the beach. She took in a deep breath when Naomi approached her with two cups in her hands and sat down next to her, handing her one.

"Thanks." She wrapped her hands around the warm cup and turned her attention back to the beach.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Naomi asked.

Addison sighed and looked down at the brown liquid in her cup before back up again. "I'm not going to become pregnant."

"You don't know that." Naomi watched her. "What you do know though, is how low the chances are. Why all the doubts suddenly?"

"That's my point, Nae." She turned her head to her friend. "My chances are so low and even if I were to fall pregnant, it would be a high risk pregnancy which might not even go further than the first trimester."

"But there's still a chance." She looked back at her. "I know how much you want this. And as long as there's still a chance it would be crazy not to try and take it.

"A very slim chance. I mean, how many women in my situation actually fall pregnant?"

"I've seen miracles, Addi. It's what I do for a living."

Addison gave a small shake of her head and looked back at the families on the beach. "I've missed my chance," she spoke quietly. "This is Karma."

"Then why did you do it in the first place?"

"When Pete offered to try, all I could think about was having a baby. I deluded myself. I didn't think about the small chance that it would ever work."

"But giving up now doesn't make sense, Addi, you need to stay positive. Try and if it doesn't work, adopt. You could start the adoption process right away."

"That would take years." Addison sighed and briefly closed her eyes. "It would be years before I'd finally get to be a mother."

"You were so sure about adopting just a couple days ago. What happened?"

Slowly Addison turned her head and looked at her friend. "Nothing. Nothing happened."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." She nodded and looked back at the beach. "I had my chance and I threw it away. I've had two chances and both times I threw them away thinking I'd still be able to get pregnant later. I was so wrong."

"Don't beat yourself up about something that happened years ago. It seemed right at the time. There was no way you could have known."

"This is my own fault, Nae. I chose my destiny. I have to live with it now."

"You might not. And there are other things to live for."

"I know that. I know there are other things for live for but do I have any of them?"

"You can still find them."

Addison shook her head and tightened her grip on the cup.

"You can." Naomi looked at her. "You have your job, you have me."

"My job will only last me so long and I can't go home to a job, nor can I go home to you. You have a family to take care of. You have someone to take of you. I don't. I go home every night to an empty house. There is nothing keeping me anyway." Addison gave a sigh and fought back her tears.

"Addi." Naomi sighed and looked at her. "You do have things to live for and you will find someone to share them with. And if you're lucky you might even get to be a mother one day. Just don't give up because that is not you. I know you are sad and frustrated and I also know that it's partly the hormones, but still. Don't give up."

"Like what, Nae?" She turned her head to look at her friend. "What do I have to live for? Tell me. I'm not lucky. I had my chances, I threw them away. I'm getting what I deserve. I made my bed, now I have to lie in it."

"Stop being so negative, Addison. There are people way worse off than you. You have us. The practice. And you still have a shot at getting what you want the most."

Addison looked at her friend but didn't say anything. They both knew that the chances of her getting pregnant were low so why was Naomi pretending?

"I just don't want you to give up."

"I never said I was giving up. I'm not going to pretend like this will happen when I know that it won't."

"What's the difference, Addison? You've already given up."

Addison looked at her friend's face before she turned and looked at the beach once more. She didn't want her hopes crushed once more. She needed to be real.

That night Pete walked around Addison's house in the dark to find her sat out on the decking snuggled up underneath a blanket. She was lost in her own world and didn't acknowledge his presence until he was stood in front of her.

"Oh, hey, I didn't hear you come in." She looked up at him.

"I knocked but you didn't answer." He looked back at her.

"Sorry, I didn't hear it. Everything alright?" she asked and sat up a little straight before she curled her legs underneath her so he could sit down on the end of the chair.

"I'm fine." He sat down. "What about you though?"

"I'm fine." Addison nodded. "Just a little tired."

Pete nodded slowly and watched her. "Would you rather be alone tonight?"

"No, you can stay if you want to."

"You don't really seem to be in the mood for company, that's all."

"I'm just tired, Pete."

"Right." He gave a small nod and turned away to look at the beach.

"Are you okay?" Her lips curved into a small frown as she took in his body language. "I haven't seen you much today."

"I went home at noon after I finished my patients."

"Oh." She nodded. "I didn't know that. I thought you were in all day." Pete shook his head and turned to look at her again. "What's wrong?" Her frown deepened.

"Nothing. Why?"

"You don't seem yourself." She gave a one shouldered shrug.

"Neither do you."

"I told you, I'm tired."

"That's all?"

"Yes." Addison gave a nod. "Why?"

"I don't know. I'd just like to believe if there was something wrong you would be able to talk to me."

She sighed and briefly closed her eyes. "You've been talking to Naomi, haven't you?"

"I didn't have to."

"But you did, didn't you?" she questioned.

"Yes." Pete nodded.

Addison let out an angry breath. "She had no right to tell you."

"Tell me what? Don't you think I can tell what's going on in your head?"

She shook her head and clenched her hands together.

"Look, you don't have to talk to me." Pete shook his head and looked away again. "Like I said."

"She shouldn't have told you. It's my business, not hers."

"She's your friend and she's looking out for you. Just like me. She didn't say anything I didn't already know."

"What is there to be worried about?" She crossed her arms over her chest and looked at him.

"Nothing." Pete shook his head. Addison nodded and leaned back against the chair. Pete rested his arms against his thighs and looked at his hands in silence.

"Are you staying tonight?" she asked.

"I don't know."

Addison watched him for a few moments in silence before she spoke again. "Do you have nothing to say?"

Pete turned to look at her before he shook his head. "No." She nodded slowly and looked back at him. "I just don't like seeing you like this." Pete gave a soft shrug. "Shall we go inside?"

"And yet you have nothing to say about it. It must really bug you so much for you to have nothing to say," she commented and felt anger bubble inside of her. She wasn't sure why she felt so angry.

"What do you want me to say?" His voice was soft as he talked. "You won't talk to me."

"You haven't even tried to get me to talk to you. You're just sat there completely calm like this is a normal thing to happen."

"I just asked you about three times what's wrong. If you don't want to talk to me I'm not going to force you to." Pete could feel his voice rise as he looked at her. "I thought if there was something wrong you'd trust me enough to tell me but I guess I was wrong."

"You really want to know what's wrong?" She looked at him. "Really? We're deluding ourselves here, Pete. I'm never going to get pregnant. I have two eggs left. Two. I'm forty. I'm past it. I had my chances but I threw them away."

"If that's what you think then why are we even doing this?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

"Great." Pete got up from the chair. "I'm just glad you told Naomi but didn't think I had a right to know how you feel about this."

Addison tensed her jaw and avoided his gaze. She pulled the blanket around her body to keep out the chill.

"If you want to stop, just tell me now."

"I never said I wanted to stop."

"If you don't think it will work, why should we keep trying?"

"Because we've started." She looked up at him.

"So what? We can always stop." Pete looked back at her. "I just don't know what it is all of a sudden. You have two eggs. Two, not none. The chance is slim but it's there. I know you don't want to get your hopes up and I don't want you to either but there is a chance. There are women who would kill for that chance. And even if it doesn't work, at least we really tried. At least we did everything we could. And when the IVF fails there is always adoption. I can help you, we can do it together and we can adopt a baby if it's really what you want. Things aren't black or white, there is always a way."

"The chances of me getting pregnant are really slim, Pete. It would take years to adopt. The one thing I want from life I can't have and I'm the one who helps other women to have what I want."

"I know that they are slim but they are there. And adoption doesn't have to take years."

"I'm forty. I'm not going to be at the top of the list to adopt. They're going to choose some young couple who have years left, not someone who is nearing the end."

"Women at your age adopt all the time. You're healthy, you have a good job, you have more money than you could ever spend."

Addison shook her head and turned her gaze away from him, her jaw tense. How could he be so positive?

Pete sighed and looked at her. "I just don't want to see you like this." She kept her gaze out onto the dark beach and didn't say anything. She didn't trust herself to open her mouth in case she either said the wrong thing or began crying. She wasn't sure which would happen first.

"There are people who would kill for the life you live." He watched her. "And I know that's not helping you but I don't want you to be frustrated."

"What's so great about my life?" she demanded. "What have I got that is so damn appealing to everyone else? I don't have a family. I don't have someone to come home to."

Pete sighed and looked down at her. "This is the hormones talking, isn't it?"

"It's the truth, Pete." Addison turned her head and looked at him. "It's the truth."

"No it's not." He shook his head. "You're healthy. You've got a job. You don't have to worry about paying the bills. You have a house on the beach. You have us. You're not alone."

"You all have your own lives to live. I want to share mine with someone. I want someone there for me."

"You'll find someone."

She shook her head and looked down at her lap before she swallowed her tears. "No, I won't. I'll screw up like I have done with every guy I've ever met."

Pete sighed and walked closer again. "Every guy who doesn't want to be with you is an idiot, Addison. It hasn't worked out with anyone yet because you have to get together with the right person."

"They didn't want to be with me because of what I did to them."

"You won't screw it up with the right person."

"I thought Derek was the right one but I screwed it up with him," she pointed out.

"Because he wasn't."

"Doesn't matter." She shook her head and stood up. "I've made my bed, now I have to lie in it." Pete sighed and watched her in silence. "I'm never going to meet the one, Pete. I know that I'm not." She looked at him and dropped her arms to her sides tiredly.

"Come here," he spoke quietly and held his arms out to her. Addison hesitated before she stepped closer and let him hug her. Pete placed his hands on her lower back and rested his head against hers softly. She let out a breath and closed her eyes as she leaned into his embrace.

"Do you want to try and make a baby tonight or not?" he asked quietly.

"It wouldn't feel right." She shook her head. "Not tonight. Not after… Not tonight." Pete nodded and didn't say anything. "You can still stay," she whispered.

"It's alright."

"You don't want to?"

"You've had a hard day. I'm not going to bother you. I don't mind driving home."

"Stay, please," she whispered and snuggled her face into his chest.

Pete looked down at her for a few moments before he nodded slightly. "Okay."

"Thank you," she whispered before she slowly pulled back and they made their way inside.

You didn't really think this would go smoothly did you know? You should know how we roll by now! However, please feel free to leave us a review and tell us your thoughts!