Chapter 19: Everything

After Hotch left the room to go sign what he needed to of Morgan's discharge papers, Reid helped Morgan pack his things—not that he had much to leave with, but he wanted to help with whatever he could. Up to this point on this day, they hadn't spoken to each other unless required. There was something weird in the air. Things felt a bit strange… strained, even.

It had been a seven day stay and the hospital was ready to send Morgan home with a clean bill of health. His orders were to take it easy. Reid had been right about him needing some surgery to repair the orbital fracture he'd suffered at Maya's hands. Morgan also had some minor surgery done to repair the torn muscle of his thigh, not to mention a handful of stitches. No long term physical side effects were expected from the beating he'd taken and he considered himself one lucky son of a bitch.

Michael hadn't fared quite as well, but he was still alive. After undergoing several surgeries while in a medically induced coma, he was recovering, though still considered in critical condition. Reid had been there every day. For both of them. And Morgan could see how exhausted he was; the kid looked like he needed a good cry and some sleep.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" Reid's words were timid.

Morgan smiled as he checked the room over once more. "I can't wait. I'm so sick of the smell in this place." He looked over his shoulder at Reid who was clutching onto the plastic bag of Morgan's belongings. "You… uhh… you need to say goodbye to Michael before we go?"

Reid took in a quiet and controlled breath, "No," he said with no other movement or expression.

His answer had too much hesitation for Morgan's liking, but he ignored that and stepped over to Reid, ready to change the subject. "Do I look okay?" He didn't want to scare any kids with his temporary face.

Reid bit his lower lip into his mouth and ran his fingertips so gently over the bandages and patch covering Morgan's face and left eye. "Yes…" he teared up.

"Hey…" Morgan could sense the guilt Reid was still feeling. He opened his arms and Reid slipped inside, holding Morgan as gently as he could. Morgan listened as the young man tried to calm down. Man, it felt good to hold him. It felt good to have Reid's arms wrapped around him. This is where I belong. He rubbed Reid's back and soaked in the warmth from Reid's breath on his neck.

"I almost lost you…" Reid whispered.

"I'm right here, I made it." Morgan whispered back, still holding on tight. The heat radiating off of Reid was getting pretty intense. In his mind's eye, Morgan could see how red Reid's face was and all those veins bulging beneath the skin of his forehead.

"I just want to get you home and take care of you…" he told Morgan, sniffing back his tears.

There was a knock at the door that Reid had left open. He and Morgan quickly separated and as he turned around to see who it was, Reid was relieved it was only Hotch. He turned back to face Morgan and wiped his face. "Can you give us a minute?" Morgan asked.

Hotch nodded at Morgan and stepped away. Reid fell right back into Morgan's arms.

"Come home with me and let's take a long, warm and cozy nap. What do ya say?" Morgan said. "And we'll get you a few extra days off so you can stay with me." He pushed Reid back a little to see his face. He needed to see his lover's face.

Reid smiled as more tears slipped from his eyes. He tried to laugh as he wiped them away. "That sounds perfect." He smirked through his tears and told Morgan, "Your dog and I have become good friends. I told your neighbor I'd watch him until you got back."

"Really?" he teased Reid acting like he didn't believe him.

"Yeah, once he realized I had control of his food, suddenly I was worth his affections."

"Yeah, he can be like that," Morgan smiled.

Hotch, who had been waiting patiently just outside the door, must have heard the lighter conversation because he began creeping toward the doorway again.

"Sure you don't wanna talk to Michael before we go?"

"He's not awake. I'll come back and read to him tomorrow."

"They gonna wake him up?" Morgan had kept up on Michael's progress as much as he could by asking the nurses.

Reid shook his head a little bit. "I don't think so. This morning Dr. Greyson said that he'd like to keep him under a few more days."

Morgan nodded, after he figured out that's all Reid would say about it. "Alright, let's get outta here." Reid wiped at his face again, and as they walked out of the room, Morgan pulled him into a side hug and gave him a squeeze.

Hotch gave the boys a subtle smile, clearly having a look in his eye that showed he was grateful they were safe. "Just let me know how much time off you two would like and I'll make it happen."

The corner of Reid's mouth turned up. He loved that Hotch was on their side. He really felt like in a way, Hotch fought for him and Morgan's relationship too. He held eye contact with Hotch long enough that they exchanged a 'thank you' and 'you're welcome' without saying a word. Morgan and Hotch nodded to each other just before Morgan rested into the wheelchair and the three left the hospital.

It was easy for Reid to sync into a schedule that fit Morgan's needs. He got Morgan up each morning and put him to bed. And because of Morgan's injuries, Reid helped him wash… helped him get dressed. He drove him to appointments and took him to the park often so they could get some fresh air together. And Reid never complained or thought of himself during this time. He was more than happy to help. If he wasn't helping Morgan, he would read, take a nap or clean whatever needed attention, maybe do a load of laundry. Reid loved it.

Morgan didn't really need all the help Reid was providing, but Reid insisted.

But every day, Reid would leave to go read to the still comatose Michael. He would slip out quietly and usually be back while Morgan napped mid-day. If Morgan happened to be awake when he returned, it was never spoken about as to where he was.

It had been one week and all was quiet. The TV was off, no sounds of music… just the occasional groan from the sleeping dog and the unmistakable sound of a page being turned every few seconds as Reid read his latest find at the library. As perfectly wonderful as everything had been, in the last couple of days, Reid's curiosity over a couple of matters in particular had finally gotten the better of him.

Morgan was half awake, but leaning toward passed out as he lay perpendicular to Reid on the couch. Dinner was delicious and fulfilling and Morgan's pain meds were doing their job. He was comfortable and wasn't fighting to stay awake, but then he heard Reid ask a question.

"What?" he mumbled with one eye half open.

"When can we make love again?"

That was blunt. "Right now, if you want. We just gotta take it slow. I'm still pretty sore, you know. You might have to do all the work," he smirked.

Reid bit his lip as he gauged how to word his next question, "I know you're seeing a therapist, but are you going to talk to me about what happened between you and Maya?"

"I hadn't exactly planned on it…" Both of Morgan's eyes were wide open now and he stared at Reid who sat at the other end of the couch. "And don't make it sound like I had a choice about it."

Reid sighed a little and took note of the page number before closing the book. "I'm sorry, that's not what I meant."

Morgan lifted his feet from Reid's lap and sat upright readying himself for this suddenly serious conversation. "Then say what you mean. Ask me: 'What did Maya do to you?'"

The fact that Morgan got defensive immediately had Reid regretting that he'd brought it up; he obviously wasn't ready to share any details. "Never mind, I'm sorry."

"No, you're gonna hear about it now."

"Morgan—" he brought his hand up to wave Morgan off.

"What, you don't wanna hear about how your boytoy's sister wanted to try me on for size before she killed me?"

"Morgan, I just know—"

"What do you know? Tell me what you know about what happened." His tone was extremely firm and loud.

"Never mind!" Reid yelled and got up off the couch.

"You have no idea what she put me through!" Morgan shouted as his eyes trailed Reid's movements.

"Then tell me!" Reid shouted at Morgan while standing over him. "Don't get mad at me because I don't understand or because I'm not phrasing my question to you correctly. You haven't said a word about any of this—to me—since the day it happened. I need you to talk to me… I need you to include me …with what you're thinking about and what you want. Are we still on? I wouldn't know it. Aside from no sex, which I completely expected, you haven't touched me except at the hospital. You haven't told me you love me, you haven't—"

"Poor Reid," Morgan interrupted as he stood up. "Guess what, kid: the world doesn't revolve around you. My world does not revolve around you. Some things I'm gonna keep to myself if I choose to and I'm gonna keep them to myself for as long as I want. If that's a problem for you, you know where the door is."

Had their relationship become an ugly, vicious circle of resentment and regret? Was buying the rings a mistake? Reid looked at Morgan in shock. His words were so hurtful, yet he knew Morgan didn't mean them. He didn't mean any of what he had just said. He couldn't. "You've ended things with me for not communicating. I know this is beyond personal for you, but..."

Morgan stared at Reid for a second as he came to realize just how badly he'd snapped. "Wow…" He sighed and covered his face with his hands, careful not to press against his healing eye. "Reid… I… I am sorry."

Reid wouldn't say anything.

"I am so sorry. Look, when I'm ready to talk about that day with you, I will. I promise you that, but ya know…" he tried to smile, "I've only slept in my own bed for a few nights and I'm trying to relax so I can go back to work with a clear head… I'm not avoiding sex with you, and I'll be honest… it's been the last thing on my mind, but if you want to have sex, just say so. It's not like I can't try. If I can't go through with it, I'm gonna let you know." He tried to think of more to say to cover all the bases. "I know you're hurting over this too, I'm not blind. You weren't physically hurt, but I know you're scared to lose your new friend. I know you feel bad. I'm trying to wrap my head around how much you care about him and I'm trying to be there for you too. Okay, man? I think this time together is good for us, so let's just take it easy… one step at a time… I'm in love with you Reid, so don't let me push you away. Please just give me some time to work up the nerve to tell you in words, out loud, everything that happened that day."

"I'm sorry too; it was never my intention to upset you. You don't have to tell me anything, but please don't be afraid to. I want you to feel you can trust me with anything." Reid implored.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry," Morgan repeated. "Like I said," he licked his lips and placed his hands on the top of Reid's shoulders, "just give me a little more time."

Reid nodded as they both sat back down on the couch realizing that could have gone a lot worse. He knew not to let this moment ruin anything about their relationship. We're going to be fine. Better than before. Forever. Thinking about their future made him remember the conversation he'd wanted to have with Morgan and he was getting butterflies in his stomach, smiling just the tiniest bit over it. "I needed… I needed to talk to you…" he told Morgan as he mentally and emotionally braced himself. Morgan raised his brow at Reid and listened. "I wanted to discuss something with you… on that day..." he couldn't find a way to bring it up without bringing up that day. He swallowed, a bit nervously, and tried to continue, "Anyway—"

"Once I figured out my new phone, I heard your voice mail, but you never brought it up again. What was it?"

Reid ran his fingers through his hair and blew out a breath to relieve some tension. Then he tucked his lips into his mouth, scratched his temple and let out another more controlled exhale. Finally, he just said what he wanted to say. "I want you to know I'm ready."

"For what?" Amused at Reid's fidgeting, Morgan would have stretched this moment out if he could have. He let his mouth relax open, licking the back of his top teeth as he waited for Reid to answer.

"For everything. For a life with you."

"Is that right?" Morgan smirked proudly.

"Marriage, children, growing old together… Whatever's in store for us, I'm ready."

"You don't say?" he beamed. Morgan's heart could not have sung any louder. He stared at Reid who was looking back at him, both smiling at one another. "How about we go to bed?"

Reid stood up quickly from the couch and waited for Morgan. There was something sweet and gentle in Morgan's tone now. He knew in few moments they'd be tangled up in each other, breathing each other in. He felt drunk just from the instinct of knowing that. And maybe that's why he couldn't stop the words he spoke next. "Marry me?"

Morgan had just started walking, but had to stop. He turned to look Reid in the eye, questioning if he truly heard what he thought he'd heard.

Reid repeated himself, "Please marry me, Derek."

I know, I know... It's been WAY too long. My work schedule changed and I leave home before 7am and don't get back until after 7pm. It's hard to make time to write. BUT! the good news is I'm updating a few stories very soon (Undertow, Pick Your Poison, and Eleanor), not just this one. Leave me some love!