Kizu (A Cottage by the River)

by Octavia Brown

Several years after the devastating Fourth Great Shinobi War, Sakura is all grown up. No longer a child, she has changed and possibly not for the better. Out in contested territory she comes across someone she thought she might never see again - and that man is clearly not the boy he once was. (Cover image by DeviantArt user "Asterisks." She's amazing!)

27. Chapter 27

Sakura had entered the cottage ahead of Sasuke but stopped only a few feet in and leaned against the wall. She hugged her arms to herself and tilted her head toward the wall. Sasuke frowned; this tired, hurting person was not quite the force to be reckoned with which he had recently gotten to know.

He carefully stepped around her and began to build a fire. "I can cook some of the vegetables I bought or we can eat your field rations. Which one?"

Sakura blinked at his question. "I guess the veggies. The rations are preserved so let's eat your food before it goes bad."

"Hn." He nodded and pulled out sacks of food from his satchel. From another pack he pulled out cooking utensils. "They weren't happy to see me at the market."

"Sorry I ruined your running away plans."

Sasuke looked up at her. "I decided to stay on my own. Naruto has... He needs help; that moron doesn't really know what he's doing." He made a face and turned back to his vegetables. He laid them out on a chopping block.

"Do you think you know better than he does?" Sakura's arms dropped to her sides.

Sasuke frowned but kept chopping.

"You don't even want to admit how big and important it is, what you just accomplished."

Sasuke stopped but didn't look up. Then he spoke softly. "That's how it was for you, too."

"What?" Sakura didn't catch his meaning.

His knife paused for the barest moment before pushing down into a carrot. "Back on that mission. You don't want praise because of what happened to that family." Sasuke glanced up at Sakura who watched him warily. "But your teammates survived because of you."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Then Sakura's face softened and she smiled ruefully. "You always try to make me second guess myself." She said to herself. To Sasuke she said, "I'll make you a deal. You won't try tell to me that was the right thing to do and I won't call you a hero."

Sasuke chuckled and looked back at the vegetables on his chopping block. He finished his work and dropped them into the cooking pot. "This happened because of you too." He said.

"Huh?"

"I wouldn't have done anything if you hadn't made me."

"I made you?" Sakura's voice was incredulous.

Sasuke set the pot over the fire and covered it. He stood up, wiping his hands on a rag. He shrugged. "You protected me from the Iwa, you accosted me in my own home, you kept insisting I take a stand until..." Sasuke stood up and stepped to the pallet and took a seat. "I couldn't let go. You had a plan and you made sure I followed it." He sat with his elbows on his knees and stared at the fire under the pot.

He was aware that Sakura was staring at him, trying to make up her mind about something. Then she kicked off her shoes and moved to sit beside him. "I was being selfish," she muttered. "I needed your help."

"You couldn't have planned all of it."

Sakura gave a short laugh, part wonderment at everything that had happened and part sheepish. "I didn't plan any of it, really. I just grabbed whatever opportunity came up. It was..." She gave another humorless laugh. "It was the best I could do in the condition I was in."

"Hn."

"I'm sor-"

He looked at her sharply. "Do. Not. Apologize."

Sakura flinched. "Right." She faced forward and though she didn't lean away, Sasuke felt the distance between them increase once more.

He frowned. "Didn't mean to snap." He shut his mouth. He didn't want her to pull back from him any more but he was not very good at calming people. And Sakura was... She had a way of jumbling up his thoughts.

Next to him Sakura sighed. She turned toward him slightly. "Sasuke-kun..."

Sasuke decided on a course of action and immediately took it. He turned, leaned over and pressed his lips to hers.

"Mmh!" Sakura squeaked in surprise but kept herself from pulling away. She went stiff for a moment and then Sasuke felt a hand land on his chest.

It felt so good, so right to kiss her. He had been aching to do this since he regained consciousness in her crushing embrace. Finally, the moment was right. Her lips were soft, full. As he felt them in greater detail than ever, a warm light took hold in his chest.

He reached up and touched her face and her hair as he adjusted their angle. Sakura was softening against him by the second.

Sakura's warm hand slipped up to his neck and into his hair. He responded by wrapping an arm around her and pulling her close to his side.

She giggled and pushed against his shoulders. Sasuke realized he had pulled her off her seat, completely unbalancing her.

He reached over, meaning to pull her onto his lap but Sakura broke off the kiss. She pressed a cheek to his to catch her breath and adjusted her legs so she kneeled against him, able to reach and be reached.

"You're full of surprises, Sasuke-kun." She murmured.

He slipped his hands around her waist and pushed his lips against her neck and throat. He loved hearing her breath catch and feeling her grip tighten on his kimono. It would be better if she were in his lap, but he could take his time. He ran his teeth over her throat and the warmth in his chest began to push lower. It had been a while since he had indulged himself like this.

Sakura grunted and stiffened slightly. "Sasuke-kun," she whispered. Her grip on his kimono tightened even more. "Sasuke-kun...please...stop."

At the word "stop" Sasuke ceased to move. He very much didn't want to but he forced himself to pull away from her throat. Sakura panted and kept her eyes closed.

She squeezed her eyes and then opened them. Beautiful deep green glittered up at him. Sakura looked somewhat troubled and her mouth worked like she wasn't sure what to say.

Sasuke slowly withdrew his hands.

Sakura straightened. "I won't lie and say I don't want that." She spoke slowly and quietly. She drew in a shaky breath. Her hands shook as she untangled them from Sasuke's kimono. "But...we're..." She looked down at his chest and then to her own lap. "There's so much." She whispered.

Sasuke felt his chest constrict. The sensation of the warm light was cooling rapidly. A momentary flash of frustration ran through him; it had been well over a year since he had been with a woman. But then he quashed that notion ruthlessly. This was no ordinary woman.

"Sakura," he called to her. When she looked up he took on her gaze steadily. "What is it?"

She looked back at him and her breath became steady, her face calm. "I want us to be okay. I...I want to know where I stand with you." She pressed her lips together. "It's been wonderful to see that we can be a team, that you'll work with us again."

She sat back on her ankles and looked away. "I used to get on your nerves. Naruto used to piss you off completely. When we looked for you, when Naruto went all out to try to bring you back, you wasted no time telling us you didn't want to be around us. Sasuke-kun, if you say you've changed then I believe you, but that doesn't mean I understand who you are now, or what you want." She paused before continuing in a small voice, "Or what you want from me."

The pot had started to boil as Sakura spoke but Sasuke ignored it until she was finished. Before he got up he reached up a hand to brush hair out of Sakura's face. "You've changed a lot also."

Without another word he stood up to tend to the dinner. He paused a moment to look at Sakura. She had resettled herself to sit with her arms wrapped around her legs, knees under her chin. She waited for him to speak.

"I want to stop being lower than scum."

Sakura hitched and stared at him, mouth slightly open.

Sasuke was uncomfortable under her stare and returned his attention to their dinner. They were at a distance again. He cursed his inability to explain himself in a way that didn't push Sakura away or shock her into silence. The Uchiha were geniuses in many subjects, but open communication was not one of them.

Sakura sighed. "I guess between the two of us we have a lot of history to deal with." Her voice was almost sad, but Sasuke detected a note of resignation. "I suppose it's an occupational hazard for shinobi. We go hurting people without meaning to and sometimes our best intentions turn fatal." She pressed her forehead into her knees and spoke almost only for herself. "We can never be perfect enough to undo our fuck-ups."

Sasuke took his time before speaking. He kept his voice even. "Is that why you seemed so bitter? When I brought you here the first night? I didn't remember you being so... sarcastic...when we were kids."

Sakura pulled her face out of her lap and looked at Sasuke. He stirred the vegetables and made show of tasting the broth. She adjusted herself to sit cross-legged.

"I didn't realize it back then, when I started being so tough on everyone. After we got back from the mission Shikamaru got us all together for a post-mission dinner. I didn't really want to go but they insisted. They relaxed and drank and ate their barbeque and I could only think of the blood and smoke from the battle." Sakura rubbed her eyes.

"Shikamaru told Ino about the mission and she grabbed a cup and got the table to toast me getting everyone out alive." Sakura paused, lost for a moment in the memory. "I guess I was supposed to be happy? I felt like throwing up. I drank and then got out of there as fast as I could." She shook her head. "From then on I avoided get-togethers like that and if people became too insistent I yelled at them about the work they should have been doing instead of goofing off."

"Shikamaru mentioned nightmares."

Sakura squared her shoulders and sat up straight. "Yeah. That happened too. More back then, I hardly have any now. But they went on for more than a year. I tried everything to avoid dreaming or even sleeping, but on long missions there was nothing I could do."

At Sasuke's quizzical look she explained. "It wasn't the kind where you wake up screaming or anything. I would just see their faces over and over, broken and bloody in bricks and dirt. Sometimes I would trade places with that girl - I would see myself stabbed from her point of view. It was exhausting and I often woke up crying. But on missions it was the worst. It was always the sort of dream that made me tense, ready to snap. A couple of times I almost hurt someone who had just come to wake me up for my watch shift."

"Hn. Was that what you dreamed of the other morning before the Iwa came?"

Sakura shook and looked up at him as if he had caught her out in a dirty secret. She bit her lip and nodded. "It was faint, just the girl's voice screaming for her mom. It's weird, isn't it? How in dreams people can speak and you understand them but you can't recall the sound of their voice. I've forgotten what the girl sounded like." Sakura played with her hand and stared at nothing.

"Aa. It is strange." Sasuke recalled very specifically the morning several years earlier when he had woken up in tears after realizing he could no longer remember the sound of Itachi's voice.

He ladled the soup into two bowls as Sakura continued to speak.

"Naruto was the only person who ignored me when I pushed him away or shouted at him or whatever. I even pissed off Lady Tsunade enough that she had me on hospital orderly detail for a month before she would let me back in the Hokage tower for another mission. I was pretty mean to Ino and the others for a while." Her voice faded out.

Sakura was lost in thought when he pushed a bowl of vegetables into her hands.

"Thank you."

"Aa." Sasuke sat down again with his own bowl.

Sakura stared into the vegetables, mindless of the steam that landed on her face. Then she smiled. "Somewhere around there I started calling myself Bitch Queen." She smirked. "Some people just called me a bitch behind my back, but when I heard a couple chunin calling me the Cold, Hard Hag, I decided I wanted to control what awful name they called me."

"You chose it?" Sasuke's tone was incredulous.

"Yup. There were always people, you know, with fake concern? I couldn't turn around without some nurse or busybody jonin thinking they were doing me a favor telling me my attitude wasn't making any friends and that people wouldn't like me." Sakura scoffed. "As if I was there to win a popularity contest. I just told them to get back to work."

"Hn." A corner of Sasuke's mouth lifted. He knew exactly what she was talking about.

"Yeah. For a while there I barely had any social life. No parties, no drinking. Forget about dating - the last guy who tried to ask me out got his jaw broken. But Naruto still figured out how to drag me out for ramen sometimes and he would rope other people into it. That made it a lot easier to relax and join the party when he became Hokage.

"And Kakashi never pushed me one way or the other. I think he figured out I had nightmares before anyone else. When we went on missions he always made sure I had first watch so I could wake up on my own in the morning. He just let me be...you know?"

"Aa. I know." Sasuke recalled the one person who didn't constantly ask him if he was okay or look at him with pity. He looked at Sakura and wondered what Kakashi must have seen when her sorrow was at its keenest.

She caught his gaze and gave him a smile. "Yeah, you guys used to get along didn't you. You and he kind of understood each other."

"Hn. Who knows."

"Yeah, you did. Even if you didn't see it."

"He doesn't trust me now." Sasuke said it lightly, like it was a simple fact that almost bored him.

Sakura blinked at him. She bit her lip a moment. "He missed you too. Team Seven pretty much fell apart without you. Naruto went off with Lord Jiraya for two years and I trained with Lady Tsunade. I went almost a whole year without seeing Kakashi. Even when we started going on missions together again as Team Kakashi we didn't train together very much. Only Kakashi and Naruto worked together every once in a while."

Sakura pressed her lips together, pink high on her cheeks. She suddenly seemed embarrassed at speaking so much and looked back into her bowl. She focused on her dinner and resumed eating.

The cottage was quiet for several minutes, save for their occasional slurping and the spoons hitting the edge of their bowls.

Sasuke finished eating first and put down his bowl. He turned and leaned back against the wall, facing Sakura a little more directly.

She gestured around the cottage with her spoon. "You're going to have to do a little remodeling in here to make this a proper outpost."

"Hn. I have to find the walking stick we left behind after we went to bathe. The thatch on the roof will get messed up in the rain."

Sakura laughed. "I would not mind another trip to the hot springs."

"Hnh." Sasuke gave her a giant smirk, baring his canine teeth.

A soft red crept up her neck as she stared at him. Then she closed her eyes and shook her head. "Shut up." She muttered, struggling to hide a half smile. The blush spread over her cheeks as she quickly finished her food.

She turned to Sasuke and set down the bowl. "Anyway, if you don't get this place really livable the next few people who come here will do it themselves." Sakura's tone turned sly. "Don't you want the chance to be the first person to carve your name in the wall? 'Uchiha was here.' Make sure future shinobi on rotation know this little part of history."

Sasuke scoffed. "History?"

"Yeah! Come on, Sasuke-kun, if you seriously think the history books won't have your name in them when it comes to the Fourth Great Shinobi War then you haven't been paying attention." Her elation dropped by a hair. "Why do you think I was so panicked to make sure the Iwa didn't get their hands on you? The bounty on your head is even higher than mine."

Sasuke straightened slightly. "I thought you were protecting Konoha."

Sakura made a face. "Of course I was protecting Konoha! I guess I just didn't want to admit to any other motives at first. There isn't a single country other than Fire that doesn't want the Sharingan for itself, and with your jutsus and intel on Konoha it would make a huge coup. But I, Naruto and I, and everyone else, we just want you."

"Hn. You have a bounty?" Sasuke was intrigued.

Sakura chuckled. "Ditching shinobi circles means you haven't kept up with the latest Bingo books, huh? Yeah, I managed to get a little attention on my own. Medicine, countering poisons, able to crush boulders with my pinky finger, that sort of thing. I may not be able to copy jutsus the way Kakashi can but I can pick up how most of them work pretty quickly." She grinned. "To say nothing of leading the combat medic division."

Sasuke blinked at her.

Sakura shrugged. "Out in the field I follow the team captain, but back home my rank is basically a general. I stand on equal footing with Shikamaru."

Sasuke narrowed his eyes. Ino's words about Sakura's strength also being a liability came back to him. "Hn. Even if the Iwa didn't want to steal your jutsus you can overcome their most dangerous seals and jutsus. That makes you a direct threat."

"Yeah, after all this I'm probably not welcome in the Land of Earth -"

"No." Sasuke felt himself getting angry at the Tsuchikage all over again. "Ino and Shikamaru had intelligence that indicated the Iwa had orders to keep you busy here, away from the negotiations. They have shown they are willing do anything to take you prisoner."

Sakura nodded and rubbed her temple. "Yeah, okay, I get it." She heaved a sigh. "That reminds me. I'm going to have to write notes on what I saw when I was with them. There was a lot of disturbing stuff. The jonin will have to get together to discuss the aura reading/interrogation jutsu the Kobayashi clan has."

"Hn."

Sakura stood up and stretched. "Anyway, we have a lot of other stuff to figure out. I really want to meet that healer that you know in the village, and any other noteworthy people around here. We'll have to make a report on the area so the next guards they send here know what to look out for."

"Hn." Sasuke watched her curiously.

Her brow furrowed for a moment. "Yeah, I guess we can work all that out tomorrow. It's been a crazy day, hell it's been a crazy week. And you definitely look like you need a full night of sleep. I'll take care of cleaning up from dinner." She picked up the two empty bowls and stepped over the cooking fire. It was growing smaller, throwing exaggerated shadows around the cottage.

Sasuke watched her work, a small smile on his face.

- 傷 -

Sakura could feel his eyes on her. She was sure he felt comfortable but she was still rather off-kilter from his kisses and other attention. She offered a simple compliment: "You're a pretty good cook."

"Hn. I've been feeding myself since I was eight."

Even if he didn't recognize it, there was a sting in his words. Sakura did what she could to breeze by it. "So? Naruto was always on his own and he could never prepare anything more complicated than boiling water." She rolled her eyes. "The kyuubi has got to be the reason he hasn't had a stroke yet, with all that salt."

"Hn."

She was doing it again. Talking to avoid any discomfort around Sasuke. She wondered when he would inform her once again that she was annoying.

But that was unfair. After all that he'd done for her. Sakura sighed. "Sasuke-kun..."

"Hn."

"Thank you."

Sasuke was silent. Shadows flickered around his face.

"You promised to help me. And you did, over and above what anyone could possibly expect." Sakura smiled to herself. "But that's typical for you, I guess."

"Hn."

"You're even still taking care of me." She gestured to the empty pot and bowls. "I have rations and even a pop-up tent to keep the rain off me. I could camp out outside without much trouble."

"Hn." Sasuke scoffed. "The rain will end in an hour and then it'll be very cold."

"My roll up blanket is perfect for that. It's even thicker than yours." Sakura spoke before Sasuke could, "I'm trying to say thank you, Sasuke-kun. I was kind of rude when you first brought me here. I...I guess I was in shock and everything... anyway, I appreciate all the effort you've made to get us to this point." She turned away to stoke the fire and keep it from going out.

"It wasn't anything."

A laugh got away from Sakura. "What! Now I know that's not true." She stood up and cleaned her hands on a rag.

She hazarded a look at Sasuke and found he was frowning at her.

She pushed away nervous feelings and took a step toward him; a step was all she needed to be within arm's length. She held out a hand and took his between her fingers. He looked down at their hands with a slight frown. When he looked at her face she smiled.

"I know you don't like it when people make a fuss so it's just as well, Sasuke-kun. Those applause from earlier in the day are probably the biggest fuss you'll get for stopping a war before it started." She took a more firm grip of his hand.

"When Naruto stopped Pain everyone cheered him like crazy. I mean, we were shouting and jumping up and down, we even tossed him in the air like he was a kid and carried him over our heads."

Sasuke's mouth pressed into a line and he stared at the ground.

Sakura shook his hand to pull his attention back. "That's because he defeated the enemy after massive destruction. Do you understand me, Sasuke-kun? People came back from the dead. But Konoha was still flattened. When you win a war your people have a parade for you, despite the horrors and all the destruction."

She stepped even closer, right against his legs, ignoring the increasing pace of her heartbeat. "When you avoid a war your own people barely notice and lots of others give you dirty looks and can't wait to tell you what you missed or did wrong."

Now Sasuke looked up at her. He scowled at their hands but didn't try to pull away. "Sakura..."

"I'm not trying to compare you two, Sasuke-kun. Different situations call for different responses. But I know if you hadn't gone with Naruto this would have been a lot more difficult for him. It would have been harder for Konoha and it could have led to war. History books never detail the one person who managed to keep disaster from happening." She squeezed his hand. "But those of us who have seen war are grateful to anyone who works for peace. That person is an unknown, unsung hero."

Sasuke peered back at her, a line between his brows. "I didn't do anything." He insisted.

"You went." She countered. "That was enough. I don't even know the details, but I know that your presence made the difference."

She smiled at him and let go of his hand. She was relieved she wouldn't have to gear up for war again. She was glad she was free of the cage the Iwa had kept her in and she was happy that the treaty was a settled matter. But most of all, she was overjoyed that her teammate had stepped up to make it happen.

She took a seat on the pallet once again and turned slightly to face Sasuke. Sakura was about to say more but he said something and it made her stop.

"I missed you."

Her heart seemed to miss a beat as she goggled at Sasuke. He was not talking about the time she in Iwa custody.

"A little."

Sakura's shock gave out as a tiny laugh forced its way out and suddenly she was giggling and unable to stop. After a minute she got herself back under control and Sasuke continued.

"Not at first, not so obviously. I was just mad at all of you, especially Naruto. When I would think of you finding me on the road I..." Sasuke gritted his teeth. "I just focused on how you were in my way."

Sakura watched him steadily. Another terrible night from her life, but the misery stemming from that night was in a completely different category from anything else she had ever suffered. A category set aside for events marked "Sasuke Uchiha."

"Kakashi tried to stop me before that. That was the closest I came to staying. But..." his eyes narrowed. "I convinced myself he didn't really understand."

"And the Sound Four came." She whispered.

"Aa. But I still had to make up my own mind. When Naruto came after me it just totally pissed me off. I never wanted him in my life, I never wanted anyone or anything but my vengeance. He refused to try and understand that. When I left him on the ground I told myself he was a disgusting waste of my time. And I continued to tell myself that for a long time."

Sakura's eyes widened. Sasuke's voice had turned...sorrowful. Just a touch. Like it was an old regret that even at the time couldn't be helped.

"I'd be training and I'd turn to look for him to see if I could beat him with the new jutsu I learned, or I would..." Sasuke's voice trailed off. Sakura looked at him but he turned away quickly. He cleared his throat. "Orochimaru wanted me to study scrolls he wrote on advanced jutsus and his test subjects. They were...difficult to understand. I wished I could just ask you to explain them."

Sakura blinked. Was that... just a hint of pink on his cheeks? She shook her head and looked away. She must be losing her mind. Although...this Sasuke was apparently capable of a greater range of expression than the boy she remembered. She looked back at Sasuke.

He stared back with a smirk. "There isn't pink hair anywhere other than Konoha. Did you know that? I realized it a few years ago. Some purple and orange in the west, red in the north and green and blue in the northeast, but I never saw pink."

Now Sakura blushed hard. So that was why his eyes strayed to her hair so often. She let her face tip down so a curtain of hair could hide her.

Sasuke spoke carefully, slowly. "When I got you back here and helped you with your wound and gave you some food I told myself I was responsible for you. I gave you the wound so I had to help you. I was - I am scum for hurting you. But... I knew if I left you I would be worse than scum."

Her heart jumped as she listened to him. Her voice shook. "That was when...?"

Sasuke nodded. "I abandoned my friends once. I try not to make the same mistake twice."

Sakura turned to face Sasuke fully, and an unruly smile spread over her lips and turned into a grin.

Sasuke's mouth lifted and the rise spread from one side to the other until he was giving Sakura a crooked smile.

Friends. Sakura wanted to shout with glee.

Sasuke's smile faltered for a moment. "Are you...still mad at me?"

Sakura's breath caught. "Sasuke-kun..." Then she laughed. "I know I said we might not be able to be perfect enough to undo our fuck-ups. But I think this time you really, definitely, absolutely made up for it."

Sasuke leaned forward slowly and took Sakura's hand from her knee. "Even back then? What I did...?"

Sakura smiled at their hands. There really was a lot in their past. A cold stone bench. A bridge in Iron Country. Countless insults. Her whole "Sasuke Uchiha" category of experiences. She closed her eyes and breathed in. When she exhaled she let it all go and opened her eyes.

"I forgive you."

Sasuke regarded her for a moment and then his smile broadened. He squeezed her hand and then released it.

Sakura felt energized. She couldn't sit still so she pushed herself to her feet and picked up her pack. She pulled out the rolled up bedding that she used when sleeping outdoors on missions.

She turned back to the pallet and found that Sasuke continued to watch her. It made her self-conscious. "What is it?"

"I have a question."

"Go ahead, Sasuke-kun you've asked me several already." She tossed the bedroll against the wall and sat back down and pulled back against the wall so she faced Sasuke directly. She bent one leg but let the other lay out straight so it crossed over into Sasuke's half of the pallet.

"Hn." Sasuke considered for a moment before speaking. "You have several scars on your torso. I gave you one."

Sakura hitched. "Uh, you want to know where the others came from?"

"Hn. One is from that girl?"

Sakura nodded. "You probably won't be able to see the one from today very well after a couple days. It'll blend with the chidori scoring."

Over her shirt she traced a short line parallel to her ribs, over her stomach. "This one I got ages ago, before Naruto and I found you that one time. The Akatsuki abducted the Kazekage and Suna called us for help."

Sasuke nodded. "You killed Sasori."

Sakura smiled sadly. "No, that was Lady Chiyo, an elder from Suna. I helped her a little bit."

"She died?"

"Yeah. She was pretty awesome." Sakura took a moment to remember the old granny with the silly laugh and nerves of steel. "Anyway. Sasori got the drop on me. Ran a sword all the way through. I have a matching scar on my back."

She traced her abdomen, below her belly button. "The girl got me here." She frowned at herself. "If I hadn't been so stupid gung-ho..." Sakura's jaw ground together for a moment.

Sasuke waited.

"If I had just thought about things for an extra second I might have been able to end the fight without killing innocents." She tsked. "And I wouldn't have been running around with a fresh wound in my guts. If there is anything worse than Lady Tsunade screaming at you for being a dumbass, it's Lady Tsunade not screaming at you because of how bad a dumbass you were."

Sakura caught Sasuke's look at her and jumped. "Uh, I mean, me of course. I was talking about me."

"Aa." Sasuke continued to study her. "How bad a dumbass were you?"

Sakura opened her mouth to speak and then shut it. She had never explained it to anyone; she had never had the occasion to do so. Only a handful of people at the hospital who had reason to look at her medical records knew.

"The girl slashed down. She was using the kunai like a dagger, the blade coming out the bottom of her fist. And she was shorter than me. The entry point is here." Sakura traced over her waist. "But the blade sank in almost four inches. If I had dropped everything to heal myself right then nothing would have happened. But I went and ran while I used my medical jutsu to kind of literally hold my guts together."

She shook her head. "It's the kind of thing I would scream at anyone else for. I used one hand to dig out bricks and one to hold myself together. I refused to stop until the rest of the company came and another medic got Kiba to force me to stop.

"The blood loss was stupid. I almost fainted before I could stop it. And the internal stitching wouldn't take because I had damaged the tissues so much. I had to be carried into the hospital. I lost several feet of my small intestines and a slice of my large intestines and more."

Her voice grew hushed. She hesitated only a moment before continuing. "The blade lacerated my uterus. Running of course made it worse, and digging didn't help. If it hadn't been for Lady Tsunade I could have lost the whole thing." She swallowed. "Right now, neither one of us knows if I could take a baby to term."

Sasuke's voice was subdued. "You could have died."

Sakura nodded.

Silence reigned for a minute.

Then Sasuke moved. He scooted on the edge of the pallet closer to Sakura and lay a hand on her knee. He leaned in. "Don't you EVER do something like that again."

She looked up at him with a gasp.

"I'm serious. Don't take stupid chances. You're a hell of a lot smarter than that. Tch." Sasuke's voice was quiet but hard. "How the hell did they decide you should be a jonin?"

Sakura's heart constricted. "It wasn't a reward, Sasuke-kun. You don't go up in rank for being a good person or even a smart one." She closed her mouth and let her gaze drift down to Sasuke's hand.

"Hn." Sasuke's hand lightly squeezed around her knee. He seemed not to notice but Sakura's stomach tightened.

She couldn't help a soft gasp that flew out of her when his hand moved again. Then he blinked and looked down at his hand which had slipped a couple inches up Sakura's thigh. Sasuke removed his hand...haltingly, the movement determined but designed to allow for maximum skin contact.

Sasuke turned so he sat perpendicular to her and gripped the edge of the pallet with both hands. He stared at the far wall and took in a long breath.

Sakura spoke softly, intending to clarify something. "I am always a bit reckless when it comes to people I care about. I would take a thousand scars before I let the Iwa take you away or hurt you."

A line appeared between Sasuke's eyes. "I don't want you to." He shook his head to forestall her protest. "I've had a lot of time to think about this, Sakura. I would rather lose my eyes than see you get hurt."

She gasped at the immensity of what he was saying. "Sasuke-kun!"

"I haven't wanted... I've tried to avoid people, Sakura. I thought if I kept my distance I would never lose someone again." He looked at her intently. "But I can't even do that right."

Sakura tried to smile as a sort of choking sound that was both laughing and crying came out of her. She rearranged her position to fold her legs over the side of the pallet, then she reached out and gently lay a hand in the middle of his chest. "You genius shinobi and your amazing ability to be short-sighted."

She held still for a moment and then pulled back her hand. "Everyone has that fear, you know. Even regular people with regular lives. Maybe it's more acute for us because we've actually lost people we love to violence. The only thing that seems to make it bearable is to gather our friends and comrades around us and hold on to them as best we can."

She looked back up at him. "I am truly sorry you've lost so much, Sasuke-kun. You certainly never deserved any of it. If I know anything, it's that you deserve to have a family that loves you and friends who always have your back." She smiled. "I'm sure we can come up with some better alternatives to you losing your eyes."

Sasuke studied her face and slowly a little smile began to grow on his lips. "It's the same for you. You don't have to keep punishing yourself. You've become someone who does what needs to be done. There's nothing wrong with that."

Sakura felt heat prickle her cheeks and gave a wry smile. "Too bad I have to be a Bitch Queen to do it."

"Hn I don't think I care for that nickname." Sasuke sat back and picked up Sakura's hand in his.

Sakura blinked at him. How could she be anything else after all this time? She let her gaze drop down to his shoulder as she tried to come up with a response.

Sasuke gripped her hand and spoke first. "It took me years to get this, but you were always smarter than me so maybe you can understand it faster: You're not in a cage any more. And you're not bound by any obligations to other people." Sakura couldn't bring herself to look at Sasuke, or to shake his hand off either. "Whatever is holding you in place, limiting you like steel bars or a promise, is your own perception. It's how you see yourself."

Sasuke placed Sakura's hand in her lap and let go. "I'm the last person to lecture you on that. I just wanted to say I finally saw that I had trapped myself back when I called myself an avenger." For a moment Sasuke stiffened as if he recalled a bad memory. "I don't regret what I had to do, but the way I did it. I've learned a lot since then."

Sakura spoke softly. "I guess this is growing up the rest of the way. It really kind of sucks."

Sasuke chuckled. "I guess we'll both have to do better."

Sakura smiled. "Yeah."

They sat next to each other quietly for a couple minutes. Then Sasuke spoke haltingly. "You asked me, a couple days ago, if I thought about having a family." He turned slightly as if turn toward her but then let his gaze slide back toward the far wall. "I imagine it's because you think about it."

Sakura nodded slowly. "When I was a kid I always assumed I'd have my own family." She swallowed to avoid mentioning those daydreams had a certain Uchiha playing the role of man of the house. "Of course, I had no real idea what it meant to build a family. It just seemed like one would show up when it was time, you know?"

"Hn." A corner of Sasuke's mouth lifted and bit of tooth flashed before he spoke. "I had the same idea about rebuilding my clan." His smile turned rueful. "Reaching my other objectives turned out to be less...complicated."

They looked at each other, smiles teasing their mouths until a chuckle escaped Sakura and then Sasuke snickered and they both laughed at their younger selves.

Sakura sobered slowly and bit her lip. "When... When Lady Tsunade told me about the extensive damage I... well it took me a long time to believe her. But I ran my own tests and realized she was right. I think my odds are better than half..." She swallowed again.

Sasuke looked at her; the softness in his eyes was still odd but was becoming a comfort to Sakura. "That's still low."

"Yeah. I pushed it out of my mind as much as I could and for a while there I was fine. I didn't date, I didn't let guys get close. It was a non-issue." Abruptly Sakura laughed. "Then Hinata found out she was pregnant and Naruto had a complete meltdown about having a baby and suddenly I was an obstetrician. I hadn't been in the obstetrics ward since Kurenai had her baby ages ago. I reread a bunch of books and spent time with little babies and..." Sakura let her voice wander off as she remembered holding an infant only a few minutes old in her arms while his mother was wheeled back into her room. She had smiled so hard at the boy her mouth hurt.

"Kurenai...Yuuhi?"

Sakura blinked at Sasuke. "Hm? Oh, yes! Oh wow that was right after the war. So...Hiruzen is eight already." She grinned. "He's in his first year at the Academy."

"Hn." A distant look passed over Sasuke's face. Sakura guessed he was processing just how much he had missed.

"Anyway, I'm not in a big hurry to pop out a baby. Like you said, Naruto needs all the help he can get right now." Feeling slightly anxious, Sakura stood up and began tidying, straightening this and that. She was aware that Sasuke stood also and put out the dinner fire.

They went about their little chores in the dim light of a lantern; it was so...domestic. Sakura felt a grin plucking at her lips so she tried to hide it but as Sasuke wrapped up his work she couldn't help the giggling that began to escape her. She covered her mouth as he stepped up to her with a curious look.

"What's so funny?"

"Heh-uh nothing." She kept her mouth covered, unable to tame her giant smile. She nodded to the pallet. "Go ahead and use my bed roll, I don't mind your blanket."

Sasuke gave her a perturbed look. "Why would I use your bedroll?" He bent and pulled up his old blanket.

Sakura rolled her eyes. "Come on, I know how stiff and drafty those boards are. The bedroll is the best thing for it."

Sasuke looked suspicious. "Where are you planning to sleep?"

She smirked. "I'll take the wall." She reached out to take the blanket from Sasuke's hands.

"I don't think so." He quickly put the blanket out of reach behind his back.

Sakura pulled back her hand with a frown. "Seriously, Sasuke? For once sleep lying down. I can handle sitting for one night. We'll trade tomorrow, if you insist."

"Hn. Lie down." He indicated the pallet.

Sakura blinked at him. Did he just...? "You did not just tell me to lie down."

He took a step toward her. For once Sakura was keenly aware of the several inches he had on her. "I did just. You're still wounded. Lie down."

Sakura narrowed her eyes and straightened her spine. "You haven't had a proper night of sleep in days, probably longer, judging from your skin. I know fatigue perfectly well when I see it, Sasuke. No, you're the one who's going to lie down."

"I don't need very much sleep. But you still have to recover your chakra if you're going to do your mission properly, Sakura." He got closer still, tipping his head forward to loom over her.

"You are talking down to me!" Sakura's eyes went wide. Sasuke's attempt to cut her down did not go unnoticed, though it didn't have the sting that it once would have. "I don't need you to tell me how to handle my mission, Sasuke Uchiha!" She poked him in the chest. "I've got it completely under control."

"Hn."

Sakura wavered as a gust of wind rose up from where Sasuke used to be. Her brain processed his movement but her body couldn't keep up and half a heart beat later she lay on her side, cushioned by her bedroll, both arms held behind her back.

"Are you sure about that? I thought I was your mission."

Sakura made a frustrated sound. There was that arrogance. Honestly. She redirected a small amount of chakra and leveraged herself off the wood boards. She easily broke Sasuke's hold on her arms and twisted around to put him into a fierce hold, flat on his back. Her legs held down his torso, one over his chest and the other over his face, effectively hiding his eyes. One foot held down his left arm while she wrapped the other in her right arm, against her chest. Her other arm grasped his left knee to her side so he only had one free leg that flailed without purchase.

"Now, Sasuke-kun. I know you can still kill me, but you can't actually fight me." Sakura gambled that he wouldn't resort to his Mangekyo for a silly wrestling match.

He writhed in response, grunting under her leg. She stiffened and his movement was even more limited.

"I told you, right? I am pretty strong. And you said until I was strong enough to beat you at wrestling I had to take the bed. So, it looks like I don't ha-aayyiiee!"

Sakura had practiced her wrestling and take downs for so long she had stopped noticing what body parts touched what a long time ago. And in all that time no one had tried to exploit this instead of trying to break her hold.

So when Sasuke licked the back of her knee and ran his teeth over the skin she jumped in shock, completely forgetting to maintain her chakra control. By the time she was done screaming, she was on her back, arms stretched over her head, hip pinned and Sasuke hovering over her, Sharingan spinning lazily.

She snapped her eyes closed.

"There's strong, and then there's strong, Sakura." His breath flowed over her face which was surely reddening.

She gritted her teeth. "That was cheap, Sasuke!"

"A shinobi uses any means to achieve his objective. Also, a shinobi is never caught unaware. Weren't you the one always ready to quote shinobi rules at us?" She could hear Sasuke smirk shamelessly.

"Oh fine, now you're a shinobi!" Sakura wriggled, very aware that Sasuke was pressing against some ...delicate places.

"Tsch. Maybe. But you call that being a shinobi?"

"You aren't going to get the better of me, Sasuke Uchiha!" Sakura calmed herself enough to gather her chakra once again. She had almost no leverage, but if he thought she was easy to push around, he had another thing coming!

Sakura was very satisfied to hear Sasuke's surprised grunt as she began to lift her arms off the pallet, effectively pushing him up and off her chest. He started to take countermeasures to get away but she grasped his hands and then she suddenly straightened her arms to the sides, so Sasuke nearly fell back on her, but just as quickly she jerked her hands around his wrists, forcing his arms to lock and giving her control over them.

She flipped them over so Sasuke was on his back. She held his arms down in one hand and sat on his pelvis, feet hooked over his legs. With her free hand she covered his eyes and only then did she dare open her eyes.

Sasuke wore a big, crooked grin. He coughed and laughed and then coughed a little more. "You play rough."

Sakura giggled. "Shut up and admit that I'm stronger than you."

"How can I do that and shut up?"

"Tsk. Wise ass."

"You know I'm not going all out, Sakura."

"And you know I'm pulling my punches. Come on, Sasuke-kun, just admit defeat and we can get some sleep."

"Hn. I could just wait you out. Your chakra won't last forever."

Sakura rolled her eyes and then realized he couldn't see the look. So she leaned down and whispered into his ear. "Then you'll be lying in this bed all night and I'll still get what I want."

A note of warning ran through her senses and this time when he licked the shell of her ear she jumped in surprise, but it was with the intention of escaping the pallet. She closed her eyes fully expecting Sasuke to attempt to use his Sharingan at his earliest opportunity. She wasn't completely certain she could match its hypnotic ability but she was sure she could give Sasuke a good fight.

Still, she wasn't going to make it easy for him.

She threw herself to the side, meaning to roll to the ground and get away, but hands quickly slipped around her waist and Sasuke's warm body rapidly enveloped her. She had one leg under her and a hand and elbow pressing against the pallet, and, try as he might, Sasuke couldn't pull her back down.

She fully expected Sasuke to try distracting her once again with his very surprising tongue. She let herself shake as he pressed kisses to the back of her neck and strained to roll her head away. When he moved to nibble on the side of her neck she turned into him and pressed a kiss against him, letting herself collapse against him.

Sasuke gave a surprised grunt as they collided against the wooden slats.

The impact separated them and Sakura could feel her chakra was once again nearing abnormally low. But she couldn't help laughing. She lay partly over Sasuke, her head on his chest, and he had one hand on her shoulder. Under her she could feel his chest shake as he laughed as well.

"I think we might be fighting with the same goal in mind." She said.

"Aa." His chest rose and fell under her slightly unevenly like this had forced a little bit of effort from him. Sakura was breathing a little more heavily now too.

She giggled as she felt his hand sweep down her arm. This was certainly the silliest fight she had ever had. "Sasuke-kun, promise me you won't use your Sharingan on me."

"Hm? Why should I do that?"

"Well...I'll be annoyed for one thing. And I don't let guys who've annoyed me come anywhere near me, let alone kiss me."

"Hn." His chest rose fully once more and then descended. "Fine."

Sakura rolled off Sasuke and leaned on a hip. She looked down at Sasuke with a smile. He looked up at her, eyes black as lodestones, skin ever so slightly ruddy and hair falling back in disarray. He was so beautiful.

She looked at him tenderly and gently held a hand to his face. She traced the fine lines of his cheekbones and eyebrow and drew her fingertips through his hair. She whispered. "If this all turns out to be a dream and you're not here and the treaty isn't done I'm going to be really pissed off."

Sasuke wore a broad smirk. "This is no dream." He reached out a hand and slipped it into her hair, pushing it behind her ear. Following his hand, Sakura slowly leaned down. His lips were sure, warm and full.

Sakura's heart shuddered. Heat flooded out of her chest. This was it, there was no one watching, there were no bars between them. She was kissing the man she had always dreamt of and he was kissing her back. In the moment they gave themselves to each other, simply, purely, with nothing to prove or explain.

She traced his lips with her own and felt a soft sigh push past her. His lips were velvety smooth.

Sasuke rolled onto his side, pushing Sakura onto hers. An arm around her waist held her close to him.

"So...I guess we both use the bedroll and my blanket then?"

"Hn. Those blankets were always too warm. I'll use my own."

Sakura's eyebrows rose.

"Right here," Sasuke amended. "I'm not going anywhere." The arm around her flexed.

"Okay then. Let's make the bed. You were right it is getting chillier."

In short order the bedroll was opened, the lantern turned off and the blankets were tucked around them. Sasuke and Sakura each lay on a side, head resting on an arm, each one losing a fight against the grins spreading across their faces.

Sakura knew this was exceptionally unusual for her, but this was Sasuke and when was she ever normal around him? She wanted so much to hear what he thought of her, what he wanted, but she didn't want to spoil anything. And also...

"I'm never going to convince anyone I'm not your bimbo like this."

"Who cares?"

"Huh?"

"Who cares what anyone else thinks. What difference does it make? You're the one who calls yourself Bitch Queen."

"That was..." Sakura was caught up and she looked at Sasuke, stuck between trying to be annoyed that he didn't understand and laughing along with his dismissive attitude.

"It's none of their business how you act. And it's not your problem if they can't understand you."

Sakura stopped herself from responding and considered his words. She shifted on the bedding. Speaking of not understanding... "Sasuke-kun... I want to know something." She swallowed. "I want to know what you want...from me." She could feel her ears burning and she couldn't look Sasuke in the face.

"Hn." Sasuke moved softly under the blanket. Then he was still and a silence began that lasted almost a solid minute. Sakura breathed lightly and put her attention to how the blanket over Sasuke rose and fell. She wondered if she'd made a terrible mistake.

When he finally spoke Sasuke sounded like the words were being dragged from him.

"I had fun."

She felt him move and when his hand touched hers under the covers she felt warmth from more than his fingers.

"I didn't think I would." He scoffed. "You called it my shinobi heart. Maybe you were right. You, Naruto, Kakashi. I had a team again. I had a purpose and I had backup. Hn. It was even kind of fun at the palace."

Sakura was glad of the growing shadows. They hid a broad smile on her face.

Sasuke's fingers brushed the skin on the back of her hand lightly. His voice was barely above a whisper. "I want you to trust me. And I want to trust you back." He grunted. "I want to be there for you like you've been there for me. Sakura, I don't know what'll happen when I get back to Konoha. But..." He paused and Sakura realized she could feel from his movement that he was steeling himself. "When I get a chance I'd like to take you out."

Sakura shut her eyes tightly against the tears that surprised her. She quite thought she was past that at this point. For a moment she couldn't speak so she gripped his hand and nodded. Finally she whispered hoarsely, "I would like that very much."

"Good." Sakura could hear the smile in his voice. After a while Sasuke spoke again. "It might have to wait a little bit though. Naruto wants a rematch." She could tell from his voice that he was looking forward to it, even though he would never admit it.

"Heh. I bet."

"Sakura."

"Yes?"

"I want to fight you too."

She gasped.

"We never did that. So you have to heal and I'll train. But I am going to go all out."

It took a minute for the words to come to Sakura. "Ah...Okay, Sasuke-kun. Yes. Yes, I think I would like that. I won't hold back either, okay?"

"Aa."

Sakura giggled. "Now I can't wait to get back."

"Hn. Heal first."

"I know, I know."

Sasuke leaned over and pressed a kiss to Sakura's temple. She turned her head and stretched up to kiss Sasuke on the mouth. She smiled against him. It was going to be a terrific fight.

Sasuke settled back to his spot. "Good night."

"Good night, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke showed no sign of letting go of Sakura's hand and she had no desire to let go of him. She breathed deeply and slowly let go of her giddy feelings, her brain charging ahead, making plans for the cottage and for their return to Konoha, and her desire to pull Sasuke even closer to her.

Soon sleep swept over her exhausted body. Her mind faded away amidst disjointed thoughts of a joy so powerful it could heal her scarred heart.

- 傷 -

Sasuke grunted softly. The pain in his wrist as well as Sakura's shivers had awakened him. Judging by how the sallow moonlight fell in the cottage there were still a few hours before sunrise. He let go of Sakura to stretch out his hand. It had grown stiff and painful in the hours they had been asleep.

Looked around he noted the blankets had jumbled off to one side, which accounted for Sakura's shivering. Somehow she stayed asleep.

He reached to pull the blankets back into place, making sure she was well covered.

The thought slipped into his mind that he could leave now. A simple clone would give the illusion of his chakra next to her and he could sneak away.

He shook his head at himself. His old ways of thinking still occurred to him from time to time, but with the perspective he had now he viewed those thoughts as immature.

Sasuke had laid out his plans with Naruto and Sakura and they expected him to follow through. An Uchiha always did as he said he would. He grinned and reached a hand to Sakura's face. A thin moonbeam fell across her head and Sasuke watched the pink hair move through his fingers.

"Mhh." Sakura responded to his touch without opening her eyes.

Unsure if she was awake Sasuke whispered, "Sakura."

"Mh." Sakura burrowed against him. Her face pressed against his collar and gave it a quick kiss. "...love you," she murmured sleepily. And then she was still.

Sasuke smiled. For once he could admit her love for him was not unwelcome. He was a long way from saying it back but he felt the warm light glow within his chest once more. It made him happy.

FIN

---

Well how do you like that? An extra long chapter to finish up this puppy! I hope you've enjoyed reading. Reviews are wonderful to read after all the work that goes into writing!

Thanks so much everyone who has read this, and especially to anyone who left a review, even critical ones. They kept me encouraged.

I've been working on another side story but it has a ways to go and I definitely want to get back to TRANSITIONS! Yet, I'm tempted to give this story a sequel - and tease it with an epilogue. But first the previous stories! (Which will take a while because my schedule is nuts.) So if I ever toss an epilogue here (don't hold your breath) there will be more KIZU on the way.

But first I think I need a vacation. hehe...