Mr and Mrs Hotchner

Disclaimer: Yea, CBS owns Criminal Minds...

Summary: Hotch and Emily pose as husband and wife to find out what's happening to missing couples at a cabin retreat where Dave's brother's new wife had gone missing on their honeymoon...

A/N: So this one just needed to be in the Undercover series. Enjoy.

Thanks for reading, don't forget to leave a review.

John Hickenlooper said, "From my subjective opinion, there was no honeymoon."

Emily sighed as she looked around the rustic cabin she was forced to share with her "husband".

"Sweetie?" Emily said resisting the urge to roll her eyes "Where did you put the suitcases?"

"It's not in the closet." Hotch said walking into the bedroom "It's over here under the bed."

Emily felt him wrap his hands around her waist and whispered in her ear, "Stop giving me that look."

"What look?" Emily whispered back.

"That look that tells me you'd rather be sitting through root canal surgery than have me touch you." Hotch said kissing her forehead for show before picking up his suitcase and placing it under the bed.

As she went over to the closet and frowned.

"Hey, Aaron?" Emily said remembering to call him that since they were most likely being watched "Come here."

Hotch walked over and saw the object she was pointing to, "Doesn't that look like?"

"Uh huh." Hotch commented as he bent over to pick it up, "A button."

"It looks like the one Sofia was wearing in that picture that Dave's brother showed us." Emily whispered.

"Bag it carefully, we'll have to figure out how to sneak it out to the team without alerting Calvin." Hotch whispered.

Emily placed it in a small baggie, "What is up with that guy anyways?" Emily asked "I get that it's his jobs to help out newlyweds and all but spying on people? That's just creepy on a different level."

"Don't know." Hotch said watching her slip the button into her pocket "I'll try to get us to slip away to pass the button off to someone from the team."

A knock pulled them from their conversation, and Emily felt the urge to roll her eyes when she saw Calvin at the door.

"Group therapy in ten mintues." Calvin told the two.

"Great." Emily commented dryly.

"See this plant?" Calvin commented "It's got what you're all lacking in your new marriages, roots."

Emily saw Hotch roll his eyes, while she fiddled with the fake wedding ring she was wearing.

"Roots are what connect everyone to the Earth." Calvin said turning to the other couple there, "Phillip, Valerie while you two were out horse back riding, I looked through your cabin."

Emily turned to Hotch, raising an eyebrow.

"What I saw shocked me," Calvin commented "Not a single wedding picture of you two smiling. And why is he sleeping on the recliner next to the bed, instead of the actual bed?"

Valerie shrugged her shoulders, "Don't ask me, ask him."

Phillip rolled his eyes, "I think this marriage was a mistake."

"Honesty." Calvin observed "The key functioning to any reltationsip."

Calvin turned around facing Hotch and Emily, "And you two?"

"What about us?" Hotch asked.

"Why don't you tell us about your courtship?" Calvin asked.

Hotch looked over at Emily, "Not much to tell..."

"Why the hell can't we live in a house?" Valerie interrupted "I hate the apartment."

"It's a perfectly good apartment." Phillip told her.

"Yes, I'm sure the cockroaches love it." Valerie said "If you like them so much how about you split the rent with them?"

"Yeah, we don't really have a problem." Emily said lamely trying to disuage the fighting couple.

"No, you two are in a crisis." Calvin told Emily and Hotch.

Both dark haired agents raise an eyebrow at that, out of the two couples, they seemed the saner of the two.

"You and your wife have expressed no outwards affection towards each other since you'e arrived." Calvin said.

"Huh?" Emily asked.

"We haven't seen no hand holding, kissing heck not even a hug." Calvin said.

"Well..." Emily started.

"We're not really the affectioniate type." Hotch finished.

"Nonsense" Calvin said "Anyone can be the affectionate type. All right, Aaron?"

"What?" Hotch said annoyed.

"Kiss Emily." Calvin said "Come on."

"What?" Emily asked looking at the man in front of her.

"You two obviously love each other, you wouldn't be wearing those rings if you didn't. correct?"

"Right." Hotch replied feeling his heart beat and turned to Emily.

Emily bit her lip, faced Hotch and kissed him on the lips quickly. "There."

"Whoa their girl, it's not a race." Calvin told Emily, "Go slow, after all this is your husband, right?"

"Mm hmm" Emily grumbled, leaned over and kissed Hotch on the lips softly, causing both

"Now tell him, you love him." Calvin requested "And don't just say the words, feel them too."

"I love you." Emily said.

"I love you too." Hotch repeated feeling his palms sweat.

"Now don't you two feel better?" Calvin asked.

"Sure." Emily said picking at her nail.

"Your new life as husband and wife begins now." Calvin said smiling at the two.

While Emily and Hotch watched each other out of the corner of their eyes.

Walking across the small rustic woods, Emily sat down on a bench near the water, pulling out her cell phone dialing Dave.

"Thank God" Dave said "Did you find anything?"

"Found Sofia's button." Emily told him "Doesn't appear to be ripped off but, there is something off about this Calvin guy."

"Does he make you show affection to each other?" Dave asked "That's what Pete said he made him and Sofia do."
"Yep" Emily said hearing the chuckle escape his lips, looking up she saw Hotch walk by with some notebooks "What's that?"

"What's going on?" Dave asked over the phone.

"Hotch has notebooks." Emily said.

"Sofia didn't go missing" Hotch read from the notebook "She ran off with the cook."

"Did you hear that?" Emily said into the phone "Wow Calvin knew?"

"The cook was Calvin's brother." Hotch read "Weird how he keeps notes on everything."

"OCD" Emily observed.

"Pete" Dave said covering the phone then turned his attention back to the phone "He suspected but said he'd wanted to know for sure."

Emily saw Hotch reading the notebooks standing up, "Sit down."

Hotch looked at her, "I'm fine standing."

Rolling her eyes, "Don't be silly."

"I'd prefer to stand." Hotch said.

"You know that's just insulting." Emily said scooting down.

"You two sure you aren't married?" Dave chuckled from the phone.

"Shut up." Emily and Hotch said to the phone.

"Come pick us up..." Hotch said looking down at her "Yeah, I stole the notebooks.

"Are you going to return them?" Emily asked.

"Nope." Hotch said smirking "Throw a little rain in his happy sunshine day."

"Wow, you are mean." Emily said.

"Well, you married me." Hotch teased "Keep reading."

"What for?" Emily asked looking up from the notebooks.

"Well you want something on him?" Hotch asked.

Shrugging her shoulders, "He's not so bad..."

Raising an eyebrow at her, "You liked the kiss?"

Cheeks flushed with pink, "No."

"Mm hmm..." Hotch said sitting down on the bench sliding close to her "I'm so sure..."

"Hotch" Emily said as he leaned in to kiss her, "What are you doing?"

Chuckling, "What does it look like?"

Emily licked her lips as Hotch's mouth came within inches of her own...

"Mr. and Mrs. Hotchner!" Calvin bellowed "How dare you?"

"What?" Emily groaned out but then realized they were with the notebooks Hotch stole "The notebooks..."

Hotch tossed the stolen books on the ground "Don't worry we'll be leaving within the hour."

"Thank God" Emily said relieved.

Calvin huffed, "Some people are beyond help."

"No kidding" Emily groaned as they descended back to their cabin.

"Conversations like television sets on honeymoons... unneccessary." Peter Sellers

The End

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A/N: I have one more chapter, though it's nearing the line of "M", let me know if I should post otherwise this is the end.