Listen while you read: "Ships in the Night" by Mick Flannery or type youtube and add /watch?v=bP8IS3QjsG4
Also "Interlude for Piano" by Peter Bradley Adams or type youtube and add /watch?v=Duu5ncqibYk
Chapter 17
Fili, Thorin's heir, considered that his lack of sleep and overprotectiveness of Nur was driving him to action without thinking.
Thorin had followed him into the forest and spoken to him in softer tones than Fili believed he deserved, but reminded him that in times of peril it was Fili's responsibility to keep a clear head. His uncle reminded him of the day when the dragon had attacked Dale and burned the Halls of Erebor and asked him what would have happened if their leaders had succumbed to grief and panic.
Although he felt like he was being childishly scolded, Fili put away his pride and answered that their people would never have made it to safety.
Thorin also reminded his nephew that Fili was not an ordinary dwarf and could not do as he pleased whenever he wanted; he was responsible for more than just himself and his loved ones and he needed to learn to keep a cool head in the midst of even personal attacks—physical or verbal—if he were to help his people properly. The older dwarf also prompted him to remember that it was a sacrifice they made as leaders, to set aside private revenge or simple pleasures for the benefit of more than just themselves.
Long hours into the night, they searched and found nothing. Thorin was the first to concede that without light they were wandering aimlessly. Fili's worry drove him to continue and he offered to search alone, attempting to persuade Thorin to return to the caves if he was fatigued, but Thorin would not leave.
At the first light of day, they rose, aching from their seating on the hard ground. They could find no tracks, no traces of anyone having been there at all, but it took Thorin half an hour to convince Fili that with nothing to track, it would be better for them to return to their camp and see if the others had turned up anything.
Fili finally relented, believing his uncle might resort to dragging him along by the ear as his uncle had when he was a younger—and shorter—lad.
The mist of the earliest morning light washed over their path, chilling them and causing their breath to come out of their nostrils like smoke. It was a cold morning for the summer season and foreboding, though neither of them were aware of it.
On their return, Fili eyed the faces of the dwarves surrounding the cave and he was relieved to see a brooding Dul sitting in front of Thorin's tent.
"Did you find anyone?" Thorin called to the sitting dwarf, who suddenly looked up in alarm and rose to meet them.
Dul held his hands up to halt the two. "Listen—listen to me—" his fingers touched Fili, as though fending him back. "We found her, she's safe…"
"Where is Smerri?" Thorin glanced around the dwarf.
"Gren killed him."
Fili's heart hardened and his fists clenched. "Where's Nur?"
"She's inside, but you can't go in yet—"
Fili attempted to brush past Dul, but the strong dwarf caught him by the shoulders and held him back. "You will listen to me or you will not be allowed to go near her."
Shrugging off Dul's hands, Fili planted himself and sighed in irritation.
"She thinks you're dead. We've been trying to tell her it's not true, but she's… she's gone mad."
"What happened?" Thorin said, stepping forward and pulling back a growling Fili from Dul.
"She was at the river. Gren nearly drowned her and then terrorized her."
Fili stared at the ground, his body trembling with fury. "Did he… touch her?"
Dul shook his head. "I don't think so—when we discovered them, he was hidden in the trees and taunting her. He fell on her when Kili shot him and she fled into the forest. We couldn't find her until daybreak, and when we did…" the smallest of tears rolled out of Dul's large eyes. "… she's not well, lad."
"I've listened." Fili uttered in a flurry of hate and despair. "I want to see her."
"You're going to shock her—"
"I need to see her." Fili pleaded, his voice breaking.
Thorin strode forward, pulling Fili along and ushering him to the entrance of the tent.
Opening the flaps, Fili saw Kili sitting on the ground, holding a sedate Nur. Kili's eyes widened, but Nur refused to turn around and Fili couldn't be sure she'd heard him come in.
"She won't let anyone near her but me." Kili finally whispered. "Something about Dul scares her and she screams at the rest of them."
Fili knelt in front of them, wanting to reach out and touch her, but wary with his movements.
"I don't scream." She whimpered. "I'm trying to speak, but it all comes out muddled and shrieky."
Kili shifted uncomfortably. "Good, you're awake. I want you to turn around."
She shook her head violently.
Kili squeezed her tightly. "I keep telling you, you're safe now. Don't you believe me?"
She gripped Kili even harder and causing him to wince.
"Turn around." Kili commanded in irritation.
"Turn around." Fili softly insisted, hoping that she would finally see him.
Her body jerked and her head moved slowly, just as it had when Kili found her in the rocks. She glanced at Fili, her eyes lighting up and color returned to her face, but then her expression was pensive and hesitant.
With a trembling lip, her eyes filled with tears. "Gren was right." She murmured softly. "I've lost my mind and it's playing tricks on me."
"He was lying." Fili soothed, reaching out a hand to her, but she recoiled and drew back to Kili.
"Help me!" She wailed to the dwarf that held her.
Fili watched Kili roll his eyes at her, but he could see that she clung to his brother painfully and that he was losing patience.
Kili locked eyes with Fili and then shoved Nur out of his lap, into the arms of her startled beloved. Fili would have been angry with him if he hadn't been occupied with the struggling form of a lady dwarf.
Nur cried out, shaking uncontrollably in Fili's arms, when she felt the solidity of his body and accepted that perhaps he wasn't part of her imagination after all. Her breathing was rushed, but she gazed into Fili's eyes and began to calm a little.
"I'm no ghost." Fili breathed. She stopped resisting him, staring for a moment and then grabbing for his hands, pulling them in front of her.
"Ten fingers." She said, inspecting them.
Confusion filled his face, but he confirmed, "Ten fingers."
Shakily, she pulled something out of her pocket. "Not Fili's..."
Fili was horrified to realize she was holding segments of fingers from a dwarf's hand. She analyzed them with a blank, emotionless face and then tipped her hand gradually and let them roll to the floor.
Bile rose in Fili's throat and he could not hold back his burning questions any longer. "I need to know what happened."
Kili shook his head and held up his hands. "I don't know any—"
"You were there." Fili said firmly, gripping Nur steadily as she climbed into his lap and sunk her head in his chest. "You know more than I do—help me solve this riddle."
Grinding his teeth and shaking his head for a moment, Kili relayed Nur's ramblings to Fili as best he could. They determined that she had been submerged and that Gren had been throwing things at her—one of which was Fili's knife that Kili had wrested from her earlier and now handed back to his brother.
The knife was stained with dried blood and the handle bore the imprint of bloodied fingers. Fili turned this over in his hands, disgusted, as though he were handling a snake that might bite him at any moment, casting it aside and listening to Kili's account of Smerri's body.
It struck Fili that Gren had likely killed Smerri and removed a number of fingers to convinced Nur of his "savage murder" of Fili, pitting her to the depths of despair and causing her to fear the thought of her own gruesome death at Gren's hands. They could not, however, resolve the rest of the poisonous words that had been spoken to her and the mystery plagued Fili…
"We had to wait until daylight before we found her tracks and they led us to the rocks just outside the trees. She was cornered, shivering—she had to have been there for hours…" Kili grimaced at his recollection. "She didn't seem to recognize me at first…"
"Sorry." She whimpered in a sob.
Fili's face contorted in misery. "There's nothing for you to be sorry about." He cradled her, noticing the chill of her body and seeing the piles of blankets near Kili's knees. He reached out and pulled one around Nur, cocooning her.
"Bother you." She whispered.
Fili snorted. "You're not a bother to me. If I could hold you any closer I would, but I don't want to hurt you."
"Hurt me." She begged.
Fili grimaced at the words, watching his brother rise and leave the tent, but gave in to her wishes and let his arms tighten until he could feel her heartbeat against his chest. It was pounding rapidly and he wondered that a heart could beat that fast without bursting.
Nur twitched and shivered under his embrace, breathing in for a moment and then stopping, breathing again after a long while and then stopping again, with her eyes clamped shut.
When she opened them again, she pulled at one of his hands, counting the fingers again. "Ten…?"
"Yes," Fili shuddered, grief heavy in his voice. "Ten fingers."
Fili could not remember how many days it had been since they'd originally left the Iron Hills, but he knew their return was sooner than expected. It was ironic, he mused, that some might consider their time away short, while he felt it to be so long. And he felt aged… his shoulders were heavy with the weight of his heart.
Nur was quiet as they entered the massive doors to her father's halls. Looking around at the dimmed lighting inside, she was happy to once again be surrounded by the comfortable familiarity of the mountain.
It relieved her such that she felt nothing dangerous would be lurking in the enclosed walls.
But she was wrong.
A number of her father's advisers, trailed by Gren's associates were making a beeline for the entering company and she shuddered, grasping Fili's arm and stepping behind him.
He stopped moving forward and put a hand over hers, glancing at the bodies coming toward them, realizing this was his last moment to speak to her before his duties and her own took them away from each other.
Fili pulled his cloak from his back and whirled it around her shoulders, clasping it and pulling the edges around her arms. Gripping her shoulders, he peered into her face with determination.
Nur's eyes scattered for a moment, not knowing where to look, but finally settled on his and she took a deep breath.
"Listen to me very carefully." He tried to say it without allowing his voice to break, trying to instill her with the confidence of what he was about to say. "I don't know what's going to happen in the next few hours, but I have to be away from you for a while. You're safe here, your attendants and your friends are here to protect you, even from your father, if you wish it."
She glanced away from him, eyes darting to the oncoming party and whimpering a little.
"Don't look at them, look at me." He said in a gentle voice. "I am going to find you when all of this is over."
"You're going to come find me." She repeated, closing her eyes and breathing out.
"Don't let them pressure you into talking. You want to go to your room and rest and you don't feel like speaking to anyone. Tell them that."
It sounded demanding, but he had learned in the last few days that her mind was at war with itself and that it was difficult to sort out her thoughts. Giving her directions was the best way to help her at that moment.
The attendants were almost to them.
"I'm sorry that I have to leave." He kissed her forehead. "But I'm going to take care of things. Do you trust me?"
She rolled her eyes. "Of course I do." She smiled with one of the corners of her mouth. She pulled at the cloak on her shoulders and inhaled the sweet scent of her beloved.
He smiled back at her. "I love you."
Fili had been right to anticipate madness, but he was at least satisfied to see Nur's attendants rushing her away in the direction of her quarters without a fuss. He could handle the onslaught of the interrogation and even accusations being pointed at either his uncle or himself so long as Nur was left out of it.
He did not mind answering questions about her, but revealed little in his answers. It wasn't until the chaos had died down about an hour later and he was sitting in a council room with Thorin, Kili, King Dain, Karta, three advisors, and a few of Gren's assistants that they even began to address what had happened. Dul was in the physician's halls after having collapsed on the threshold of the great hall.
Gren's companions were at a loss for words and demanded some sort of verification as though Thorin might have fabricated the enmity described to them of Gren and his actions—and they were much inclined to believe that Fili was somehow faulted, relaying that they had seen his slight display of affection for her before their parting in the opening halls.
Dain was not so much taken aback by the explanation of Gren, but he glanced warily at Fili, examining the lad with scrutinizing eyes.
Their meeting with Thorin and his heirs was straightforward and they were assured that the traders would be given rights and employment as soon as they had recovered enough to be of some service.
But this was only a short summary of the hours spent sitting in chairs, the explanations and the arguments, and even the grotesque description of the traumatic incident regarding Nur. Of this, Dain could only take his head into his hand, feeling the pain only a father could feel in the knowledge that his daughter had been violated in such a way.
The Iron Hills King held in his hand an envelope with a red seal, offering it to Thorin and mentioning that it had been delivered only a day after Thorin had left for their purpose of mapping the mountainside. Thorin's examination of the letter was somewhat intense and he would not immediately share its contents with his nephews, but excused himself and left, causing King Dain to believe the meeting had reached its end.
Fili found his uncle, some time later, pouring over the letter and speaking to a familiar face.
"He appeals to me again, Balin." Thorin grumbled. "And I cannot fathom why I should be inclined to take the risk and effort when he has assured me of little."
"He's a wizard." Balin crossed his arms. "He needs assure you of nothing."
They stood in Thorin's guest chambers. He had summoned his nephews and they stood, watching the older dwarf and their uncle discussing the letter. Fili had yet to read the letter, but his uncle seemed hesitant to part with it. As if sensing his nephew's confusion, Thorin finally turned to him.
"We have had contact from an ally who says he has found a way into the mountain."
"Is this not good news?" Kili asked, his face brightening. And then he muttered under his breath, "Our own efforts have turned up nothing."
Thorin raised an eyebrow at Kili's comment. "It is, and I trust our lengthy correspondence with him, but my concern is with the circumstances. This has not been the first of our endeavors to fail, and those who would at one time jump at the chance to help us have long since become weary of offering their hand. I must call once again on anyone loyal to us to prepare for one of the longer journeys we have planned for."
Fili was startled by the suddenness of Thorin's plans. "You speak as though you trust your ally's information enough to act on it immediately."
"I do." Thorin said simply.
Fili shook his head, hands on his hips, looking down at the ornate, red carpet. "Our last efforts were undone by an enemy with a similar purpose as ours—"
"The source of this information is Gandalf the Grey." Thorin said. "I have not called upon you to question plans or sources, but to assist me as you've sworn to do."
"This is just so sudden after our abrupt return…"
A sympathetic look strayed from the face of Thorin and he found himself wishing he could give his nephew more time to recover, but knowing that time was of the essence.
"I'm sorry, but we must act quickly. You've seen that other dwarves have already begun to clamor about Erebor. They think they can race us to the mountain and have at it themselves. I only want to protect the kingdom I mean to leave to you when I am gone. Your rule is one of the tasks I am working hard to accomplish, even if it costs me everything…"