Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or its characters. Nor do I own Toys R Us or any of its subsidiaries.

Acknowledgements: Thank you to all those who have reviewed, alerted, favourited: Elizablue, Cathrag, Arkanhari, ScarheartofDarkclan, xxcatxx, NightshadeHetalia, Becky999, .me.1, fire hores is awesome, Lani Carmine, xxEu-chan, ChubbyCubby23, AFreezingFlame, Animechic420, White eyed fox, Furret the Sparrowsong, rubyredroses1, PhantomPrussia, Art and Soul, Starchacer296, GirlLoki, FiresCreek, JustAGirlWithAPen, SchrapnelGirl, GermanyIsAwesome-NotPrussia, iTorchic, kakashailuckyblackcat, , Xou, alexf801, chattie98, Myrna Maeve (and Romania!), ThatPurplyThing, Forever Halfa, WinterLake 25, Frustration, Ankhasia Riddle, Kitty the Dinosquirrel, envysfangirl, PikoPiko-Chan, Silver FoxWolf, citrine sunflower, Canyon's Rose, chickenkitty, ZeroLuver567, Lady Sandra of Sealand, Tamarutaca, 101Icestormxx, VengefulCat (my beta reader) and all my anonymous readers.

Warnings: Swearing, stupidity, Star Wars references, a cliffhanger

Chapter 28 – Take on Me

Thurs pm, Toy R Us, Vienna

"Let's fuck some shit up!" America yelled and swished his light-sabre around.

England was appalled, "I did not bring you up to say things like that!" he said.

"How do you switch this on? Does it slice through bodies?" Russia asked, completely bewildered as America backflipped past him and started hitting a shaven-headed simian-looking individual around the head with his 'Luke Skywalker' special.

Russia was usually not slow in coming forward when a fight was in the offing, particularly where neo-Nazi thugs were concerned, however, he was fascinated by the 'hum' of his light-sabre once Austria had switched it on for him. It was far better than the one he'd used at Halloween.

However, as a weapon it did not compare with Mr Pipe as it broke over an Elvis look-alike, who went down with a "Vegas, man!"

America, however was back-flipping and somersaulting his way up and down the aisle yelling and, at one point, brandishing two light-sabres, whilst knocking out skinheads.

Poland and Lithuania wisely stepped out of the way, the former Nation holding various Disney princess costumes in his arms, the latter – seeing his boss' pulsating aura and knew what was coming – headed for the exit.

Austria informed anyone who would listen that he would have nothing to do with such vulgarity and headed off to find Hungary in (here he gulped) Babies R Us.

England had managed to find a rubber cutlass and was putting his sword-fighting skills to the test. But he was thwarted by America's manic 'leaping around' (Arthur's words for America's athleticism) and Russia's combo fighting skills of face-palming and embedding Mr Pipe into skulls.

In Babies R Us, the female Nations, oblivious to the massacre occurring in the other part of the store, were discussing the differing qualities of cots and baby baths.

"Why are they always decorated with teddies and ribbons?" Belarus asked. It seemed to be a normal question and Hungary was about to answer when she added, "... why not knives?"

Latvia's eyes widened, "Why are you looking at cots and baby stuff? Are you two...?"

"Yes, we are ..."

"Ooohh..." Latvia smiled, "...That's... cute..." she added lamely.

Hungary waved a teddy at her and said most menacingly, "Cute? Really? You think so?"

Latvia was impressed that the waving of a cute fluffy stuffed toy could appear so threatening, however she ploughed on, "I need your help, Miss Hungary..." she began.

"Ooooh?"

"Yes, you see... I'm pregnant and..." here she faltered as Belarus spun around to glare at her. She couldn't really say anything negative in front of Russia's little crazy-as-a-frog sister could she? She could end up diced and her entrails being used a cot mobile for the Belarusian's child.

"Are you carrying Vanya's baby?" Belarus asked, coming closer and gazing at Latvia's stomach with a strange look on her face.

Latvia was seriously creeped out now and considered backing off and going back to Russia. At least, for the first time in several days, she'd felt safe handcuffed to him, even if she had been lifted in the air several times and had to go to the bathroom in front of him.

"What did I tell you? To be careful... honestly, sweetie, the big goon..." Hungary was saying and then hurriedly shut up when she saw Belarus' face. Would the obsessive sister return...

Belarus hesitated, her eyes started to fill with tears, "It's so... it's so..." she spluttered.

Latvia backed off as Belarus pulled out her favourite knife. She was going to kill her, she thought. The girl had finally snapped. Her jealousy had hit back and she was going to kill her and her baby and chase Vanya and there was nothing she could do. Well, there was, she thought, she could run. So she did. She shot out of the fire exit, panting and hit the pavement running, not looking back. Didn't Belarus always say she would kill any girl who so much as looked at her beloved big brother?

Belarus wiped a tear from her and held up her favourite knife, "You know... it's so lovely I wanted Natasha to share the news..." she sniffed.

Hungary was just staring at the open fire exit. Actually, she thought, she would have run as well. "Natasha?" she asked, completely bewildered.

"My favourite knife... It's so... so lovely... we can all be one big happy family. Me, Arthur, Vanya and little Raivis. And my little girl and her little girl will be best friends forever..." Belarus said with a creepy little smile on her face.

"Er... yeah," Hungary managed to say.

"Elizaveta!" came a voice which pulled Hungary back from thinking about her fellow female Nation's sanity.

She turned to see her ex-husband approaching cautiously. He had the poise of someone entering a lion's den. In fact, Belarus snarled at him and then shoved another pile of creepy-looking dolls into the trolley.

"What do you want?" Hungary asked him, her arms folded, looking him up and down. What had she been thinking? Useless aristocrat, couldn't fight, mean with money, moaned about everything and everybody, hypochondriac. She was still mentally listing all Austria's faults in his head when she caught the tail end of his speech – the one he'd been nervously spouting for the past five minutes.

"... don't care, as long as you're okay..." he finished lamely.

"What?" she said, actually more curtly than she meant.

Austria was about to remonstrate that she should have been listening and why should he go through it all again, when he saw the look of annoyance on her face. "Liz I love you, so I love your child and I'll take care of you and the baby and help out and I don't care who the father is, it doesn't matter as long as you're okay..."

Belarus was still holding 'Natasha' and looked Austria up and down interestedly, and then burst into tears again – for the sixth time that day.

Austria turned to Belarus, "Oh and Miss Belarus... England knows you're pregnant..." he said, deflecting from the fact that Hungary had still not said anything.

Hungary was actually in shock. It had been the last thing that she expected Austria to say. Her Hungarian pride had been dented and she'd been expecting a fight and was armed – with a rather large stuffed tiger no less – to do battle. She had no doubt in her mind that she could easily beat up her ex-husband with a plush toy. So his speech actually made her stop and think. She could tell him he was the father, she could tell him that she didn't need any man, she could tell him to go and boil his head... all these things appealed, strangely.

Belarus, however, stopped whatever physical, mental or verbal traumas Hungary was about to visit upon Austria by running up to him and hugging him.

Austria blushed madly, "Oooh!" he said, completely taken aback.

"Did he seem pleased?" she asked timidly.

Austria considered England's complete shock, America's yells, Russia's assertions that England and Belarus should be married and they would all be 'invited' and the fact that Hungary was waving a large plush stuffed tiger at him, took the easy option and nodded.

Belarus pulled away, having soaked Austria's velvet jacket with her tears, she spun around, mouthed at Hungary 'tell him' and, scarily brandishing 'Natasha' took off into the other part of the store to find the father of her child.

"It's dude chick!" Den yelled, his mad stuck-up blond head sticking out of the dustbin lorry window like a large Labrador. "Slow down, dude!"

Prussia did... by slamming his foot on the brake and skidding up the pavement.

It was indeed 'dude chick' and 'dude chick' was running down the pavement towards them looking upset and lost – in their eyes at least.

"Hey dude girly chick! We've come to rescue you from fat commie bastard!" Prussia yelled at her.

"Nah, man we haven't, we were going to get some beer, man..." Denmark argued.

"Shut up, fool."

Latvia felt some relief at seeing the two 'goons' as she liked to term them. At least they didn't attempt to handcuff her, stick knives in her or otherwise force her into things.

She opened the wagon door and peered in, "Where did you get this... erm... vehicle?" she asked.

"It's cool eh?"

'Cool' was not a term that Latvia would have used, she scrunched her nose up. If anything this lorry smelled worse than the van.

"Get in, chick..." Den motioned to her from the passenger seat... "Loads of room... you can sit on my knee..."

A purple aura pulsated around her and she growled, "Shove your fat arse across you big goon, I ain't sitting on your knee..." she said and thumped him for good measure.

"Jeez..." Den said.

Prussia raised an eyebrow.

Back to Toys R Us

America was stood on a pile of groaning bodies, brandishing not one, not two but three light-sabres, wearing a stolen Jedi cloak and declaring himself the 'hero'.

England threw his cutlass away in disgust. "Bloody foreigners."

Belarus ran into his arms, "Oooh Arthur!" she cried.

England was confused, he wondered if it was because of his voicing his distrust of foreigners or because he was wearing a pirate hat. He didn't complain, however, but put his arms around her and held her tight, "I love you, my little snookums..." he murmured.

France, who had been hiding the whole time in a 'bargain bin' of cabbage patch dolls, was appalled "Snookums? Snookums? Once upon a time you were my leetle... oh I cannot bear zis..." he said, his hand to his forehead in despair.

Russia, who was still trying to get his light-sabre out of a man's skull, was suddenly swept off his feet by a small Germanic girl.

"Mr Russia... I mean... er... Vanya!" Lily exclaimed, much to Russia's surprise. He wasn't used to young female Nations accosting him and hugging him, much less calling him 'Vanya'. Hitting him with frying pans, threatening him with knives, batting him around the head and, in the case of his big sis, saying 'What on earth do you think you're doing', but hugging him... no.

Lily clung to him with a pleading look in her eyes and looked around feverishly for her big brother. Vash came skidding around the corner with his rifle and stopped dead. He'd been trying, since the fight had broken out, to get Lily out of harms way, however, she'd clung to the exit door with a tenacity that had totally blown his mind. Now, seeing his sister hugging the big Russian, several other brain cells also exploded.

"Russia! Russia! He is... your..." Vash's face went beetroot red and he raised his rifle.

Lily nodded and stood on tiptoes, pulled Russia's head down to hers and kissed him full on the lips and then pulled away with a triumphant smile on her face.

Russia almost fainted with shock.

"Mr R... Vanya is my secret lover... you said Icy wasn't good enough for me... well, is Mr Russia good enough?" Liechtenstein announced as loudly as she could.

Tumbleweed appeared to blow through the store.

Hungary and Austria, the former still glaring, albeit a little more kindly, at the former, walked in.

America started laughing, "Ah man, this is just hilarious!"

Vash raised his rifle at Russia, "You... you... my little Lily... she..." he spluttered.

Hungary stepped forward and took Lily by the hand, dragging her away from the bewildered Russian, "Lily, honey... Russia? I mean, really?" she said.

"It's got nothing to do with you!" Lily exclaimed, pulling away. "None of you take me seriously. You all think I'm small and defenceless and can't take care of myself..."

Austria stepped forward, "Miss Lily... you see..."

"You shut up as well, Mr Austria... it's got nothing to do with you, either or Miss Hungary. I'm fed up of this. Vash thinks I need looking after all the time. You all think Icy is not good enough for me..."

"I never said that!" Austria said.

"Shut up, Roddie... the girl is right, we have no right to say anything..." Hungary said quietly.

"None of you understand me... only Icy... and I love him..." Lily said and then burst into tears and buried her face in Russia's chest.

Russia frowned. This was another thing he was unused to – girls burying their faces in his chest – well, actually as Lily only came up to his waist – his stomach.

"She's right, the poor girl. Vash should just stay out of it," Austria said.

"Russia, get your hands off her!" Hungary suddenly said and tried to pull Lily away.

Russia ignored her and kept his arms wrapped around the weeping girl. He had no idea what was happening, only a young girl was upset and he was getting angry. Someone had upset poor little, innocent Lily.

"Yes, get off her, or you will feel the edge of my blade..." Austria said, ineffectually actually as he had no 'blade' and the last time he'd attempted a duel with Russia the results had been pretty bad.

Russia growled menacingly.

Lily unburied her face and turned to Austria, "If I want to stay with Mr Russia, I will... if I go off with a dozen men, it's got nothing to do with you. You're not my brother!" she said.

Russia nodded, but looked worried when she mentioned his name.

"No, I'm not your brother... I'm your father!" Austria suddenly shouted.

Hungary groaned, Belarus looked from Hungary to Austria and Lily and then back again, realisation dawning. England's eyes widened 'dear Lord!' he muttered. France mumbled 'Mon dieu!', whilst America, ever subtle, yelled, "Hahaha! This is hilarious, that's like what you did to me the other week, Arty!"

There was silence. Lily stared at Austria as if she'd never seen him before.

"...and I'm your mother..." Hungary said quietly.

Lily opened her mouth to say something and instead turned to Vash for help – something she'd sworn she would never do again. However, Vash was still stood with his rifle raised, his face frozen in a rictus of horror – in fact his whole body looked as if it were paralysed. Which in fact, it was.

"Vash... bruder..." Lily ran to him and waved a hand in front of his face... nothing.

"Where are we going?" Latvia said, her thigh touching Den's, his beer-breath in her face, she felt slightly sick.

"Party on, man..." Den yelled, "Got the band back together!"

"That's not an answer..." Latvia said with a sigh. Why was it she'd not felt in the least bit nauseous when with Russia?

"Back to specs' house to see bruder and tell him I'm going to take over as Germany, man." Pru yelled.

"I wish you'd both stop yelling..."

"...and tell my dude kid he can be Prussia..."

"...Wait what?"

Toys R Us

A total of six ambulances, four police cars and an Austrian embassy car pulled up. It took three paramedics to carry Switzerland out to the ambulance. He was stiff as a board and looked like a life-size cardboard cut-out. Nobody could get the rifle out of his hands, unless someone broke his fingers – Russia offered this service but was refused.

Lily jumped into the ambulance with her dear 'bruder'.

"Shall I come with you, Lily?" Hungary asked quietly. After so long, it felt kind of a relief that their secret was out.

"Well... okay..." here Lily hesitated and then added, "...Mum..."

Hungary almost wept with joy and, ignoring Austria's helping hand, jumped into the ambulance.

"I have some questions for you, though..." Lily started.

"... I know..."

Lily sighed as the ambulance door closed and gently held Vash's hand which felt as hard as a statue. "Is Vash really my brother?"

"No."

"Oh. Are you really my mother?"

"Yes."

"Oh. And Austria's my father?"

"Yes."

"Why did you never say?"

Hungary wiped away a tear and glanced at the statue-like Swiss Nation. "It's a long story..." she began. She glanced out of the window to see bodies being piled up in ambulances and an Austrian government official trying to explain the Nations' many mental problems to the police.

"It's a long way to the hospital," Lily said, a determined look on her face.

"We loved you very much..." Hungary began and wiped another stray tear from her eyes.

Austria's mansion

"Woohoo! Dude kid!" Pru yelled out of the driver's window as they sped down the driveway.

"Will you stop yelling... and slow down!" Latvia said desperately. Her stomach roiled and she really felt she was going to vomit all over Den.

Pru yelled back at her, "You gotta meet my dude kid, dude chick..." he waved out of the window at, what Latvia would only have described as an uncouth, ape-like young man with shocking silver hair and red eyes. The youth waved back.

Den, uncharacteristically sensible, for the first time that century, yelled, "Slow down, dude and watch the road..."

"Hey, man, I'm an ace driver..." Prussia answered.

Famous last words... the truck veered off the driveway, went straight through a hedge, over Austria's prized lawn and ... straight into the newly-built and just finished heart-shaped swimming pool where it sank rather awesomely to the bottom.

To be continued...

Author's Notes:

Yes, a cliffhanger... I did promise a death... you'll have to wait and see.

Yes, Lily is HungaryxAustria's child. (In my headcanon she is anyway, you can disagree of course, remember dudes it's just a story). Her story will be explained soon enough.

Next Chapter:

More angst, a rescue – maybe, explanations.