Here you go, as promised this is way longer than normal

Chapter 17

After that first date it took almost a week before they saw each other again. Naruto had been very close to just ending it immediately, since it didn't seem like they had any future, but at the same time he liked Sasuke and he made him feel desirable, something he had really longed for. So they kept going on dates. Sasuke's obvious attempts at getting Naruto to have sex with him became fewer and fewer and Naruto didn't really know what he should make of that. Sasuke had kept his promise not to invite him to any fancy restaurants and had mostly just taken him to Ichiraku, since it was Naruto's favourite.

Sasuke stood in front of his mirror, trying on his 10th outfit this morning. Naruto had wanted him to meet his friends for a while, but Sasuke had kept on making him postpone it. He still wasn't sure about all this boyfriend-thing, so he didn't want to bring even more people into it. It was beginning to get more and more real, and a part of him was beginning to get scared. It had all been a show, a pretend, something he did so he could get sex, but now... now he had talked about his private life, been on several dates and was about to meet his friends and it wasn't even like they had done anything. He just hoped he didn't have to meet the parents anytime soon, but since Naruto kept avoiding that subject, he guessed they weren't on good terms with each other. It could have been because they didn't like the fact that he was gay.

He flopped down on his bed and took a deep breath. It was almost time to leave, and he still hadn't found anything to wear. Why did this have to be so hard? Deep down Sasuke knew, he just didn't want to admit it to himself. The reason he had trouble finding something to wear, was because this day was important. This was Naruto's best friends, the only people he actually talked about and Sasuke didn't want to mess it up.

Naruto, Kiba and Hinata were sitting at a table in Ichiraku waiting for Sasuke. Every now and then Naruto looked down at his watch.

"Relax man, he doesn't come any quicker just because you keep looking at your watch." Kiba said, a little irritated. It was probably the fiftieth time he looked now.

"Relax Naruto" Hinata said softly, putting her small hand on his arm "He is just a little late. He'll come soon, so don't worry."

"Yeah, you're probably right." Naruto said a little absentmindedly as he looked towards the door.

"What about us? Just because Sasuke will be here soon, you're completely ignoring us."

"Sorry guys." Naruto smiled, but quickly turned serious again "I haven't told Sasuke yet... you know... about my body. So please don't say anything about it."

Kiba closed his eyes and took a calming breath. "You idiot, you have to tell him."

"I will, soon, just... let's pretend nothings wrong."

Hinata frowned at him "nothing is wrong Naruto, you just have a different-"

Sasuke opened the door and quickly felt Naruto's eyes on him. They made eye contact and Sasuke felt his heart skip a beat. He still hadn't gotten used to this. He could feel how Naruto's whole world zoomed in on him and the feeling was unlike any other. He was used to people seeing him, wanting him, obsessing over him. But it wasn't really him they saw, just a rich, hot boy. Naruto saw him, the real him and he liked that. He liked having Naruto pay attention to nothing else but him.

"Hey." Sasuke kissed Naruto's cheek, another new thing. Kissing had always been something you did to convince someone or just because you were really drunk, this was just a loving gesture, the same with holding hands. It had taken Sasuke a lot of getting used to do these things without being freaked out, but now he was oddly calm about it. It somehow relaxed him. "So what were you talking about?"

Panic flashed behind Naruto's eyes before he masked it and smiled at him "Nothing."

"So this is the famous Sasuke" Kiba looked up at Sasuke.

"Guard dog" Sasuke nodded in greeting and turned slightly to look at Hinata. Kiba growled at Sasuke's nickname, but didn't say anything.

"You must be Hinata." Sasuke put out his hand which Hinata took and shook it. Naruto looked at the greetings with surprise, he hadn't actually thought Sasuke would behave so well.

"Why did you get here so late?"

Sasuke tensed. "Oh, just some business stuff, nothing you should worry about." The lie felt wrong in Sasuke's mouth, but it would be too embarrassig to tell the truth.

"Oh, okay."

Sasuke sat down with the others. "So have you ordered yet?"

"No, we were waiting for you, some much more impatiently than others" Kiba teased.

"I wasn't that impatient." Naruto pouted.

"Someone's feeling very hungry?" Sasuke snickered.

"It wasn't because I was hungry…"

Sasuke just barely heard what Naruto mumbled and at first he didn't understand what he meant, but then a warm fuzzy feeling filled him as the words were repeated in his mind.

The dinner proceeded without too much controversy, even though Kiba tried his best to rile Sasuke up. All together Naruto felt extremely pleased as Sasuke was walking him back home.

"We're here now." They stopped in front of Naruto's door. "Want to come in for a bit?"

Sasuke shrugged and followed him inside. Naruto noticed that Sasuke didn't make any indecent comments about being let into his room. It wasn't like he wanted him to, but it just felt weird that he had practically stopped doing anything like that for a while now. Naruto went to the kitchen.

"Do you want a cup of coffe?"

"I'm fine."

Naruto decided he didn't want anything if Sasuke didn't and went back into the living room again.

"You've haven't really… uhm... you know." Naruto was embarrassed to ask this "It seems like you don't make as many comments about having sex as you did when we first met." His cheeks were burning and he didn't dare to look at Sasuke.

"I haven't noticed." Sasuke knew that was a lie. He had noticed and he didn't like it. This had all started because he wanted to have sex with him, but now he wasn't so desperate about it. It wasn't like he didn't want sex anymore, it was just in a different way now. Somehow the little things like talking, holding hands and kissing was enough now. It felt fulfilling in a way he hadn't felt before, so he wasn't as keen on having sex anymore, since that would mean he had to leave.

"There is something I have been wondering about for a while. Why are you so obsessed with sex?"

"I'm not" The answer came quickly and cut of all following questions.

"Okay... I was just curious." Naruto felt a little hurt, Sasuke had opened up some in the last month, but there was still so much he wasn't talking about. Sasuke sighed deeply, he had no idea why seeing Naruto like this could actually make him do this.

"I-I've come from a family where you doesn't really get praised. You had to be extremely good to live up to the high standard and unfortunately I didn't. It was always my bigger brother. He was loved by my whole family, or maybe love is the wrong word, since our family doesn't really do love. He was my father's pride, someone he could brag about... I was just..." Sasuke went to sit down on the couch. "I was kinda just there."

The old feelings surged through Sasuke, memories flashed behind his eyelids. The many lonely nights he just sat in his room, without anyone to talk too, without anyone who would care for him. Sitting at the dinner table and hearing about all the things his brother accomplished and how he wasn't good enough to live up to his father's expectations. He felt like a stranger in his own house, he couldn't even leave it, not until he got older. Sasuke closed his eyes, trying to will the memories away.

"Then we got a new teacher and for the first time I was someone's favourite. It just wasn't the way I wanted to be special." The bitter tone, made Naruto want to stop him, he suddenly wasn't so sure he wanted to hear the rest of the story. "He always greeted me in a friendly way and just politely said hello to my older brother, he praised me whenever I did something good, and... I couldn't stop myself. I always looked forward to whenever he would come by, I yearned" Sasuke spit the word out of his mouth "for his praises, like a simple dog."

Naruto sat down beside him and gently rubbed his thumb against Sasuke's arm.

"Then suddenly he just stopped. No more smiles, no more happy greetings or praises. But that just made me want to work harder. In a way I should be thankful for that, I would never have worked so hard if it wasn't to get his approval again. But he didn't say anything, so after a while I just cracked. I asked him, or more liked begged him, to tell me what I did wrong. He told me that he had a problem that only I could help him with and of course I was ecstatic. Someone actually needed me and not my brother or anyone else." Sasuke looked at Naruto. "Uhm.. Bottom line was I ended up giving him a blowjob."

Naruto blushed and looked at the floor. He didn't know how to react to all this.

"Of course it didn't take me long to realise he only liked me because of my age and looks and that he had just pretended to be nice to me."

"So you ended it with him? Did you tell your family?"

"No. I kept up the act and we ended up having sex a couple of times."

"Why?" Naruto asked horrified.

"Revenge"

"Revenge?" Naruto couldn't really see how that would hurt the man in any way.

"He wanted it so desperately, so I gave it to him. I got total control and he was soon reduced to a pitiful, low, begging human being. Image that, a little boy having control over a full grown man." Sasuke snorted.

"Apparently the only reason I was his favourite and not Itachi was because I was younger and not corrupted yet." Sasuke scowled

"I guess I'm not that much better than him now, aren't I? I don't care about the others feelings as long as they can satisfy me. So there you go. That's the reason behind my actions, are you happy now?"

The angry tone didn't stop Naruto, he quickly put his arms around Sasuke and rubbed his back soothingly.

"It's okay. I'm sure you haven't really processed what happened to you. I know you well enough to guess that you just got mad after you realised what had happened, you haven't really mourned the loss or been comforted."

"I don't need that, I'm over it."

Naruto tightened his hold as he heard how shaky Sasuke voice had become. "I know you've been deceived so many times and not felt the love you deserve, but I will never do that."

Sasuke felt a lump in his throat and hugged back desperately. Naruto pulled away and cupped Sasuke's cheeks.

"Cry, let it all out and know I'll be here to pick up the pieces." Naruto used his thumbs to wipe away the few tears that was already making their way down Sasuke's cheeks. He kissed Sasuke. "I'll always be there for as long as you need it." He whispered against his lips. They sat like that for a long time, just holding each other.

A week later Naruto was sitting in class day-dreaming about Sasuke. It was his turn to invite him somewhere and he had run out of ideas. The bell rang and he began packing his things away. Kiba and Hinata joined him and they all went towards the canteen.

"Have you told him yet?" Naruto sighed, he knew that stern tone, Kiba wouldn't let this one go again.

"Not really..."

"You have to do it."

"I know, just… let me prepared myself a bit."

"Prepare yourself? Naruto you have known him for several months already, you're dating him, and you have had lots of time. Sasuke deserves to know this, you can't put it off any longer."

Naruto sighed. He knew this, he was just afraid Sasuke would really leave him. He felt a body clash into his shoulder and looked up to see Ino looking absolutely revolted over the fact that Naruto had walked into her.

"Apologize" Sakura shrieked.

"But I didn't do anything."

"Yeah Sakura, can't you just leave him alone. You guys are pathetic."

"HIM" she yelled disgusted. "Is SHE so much of a tomboy, she actually believes SHE is a boy? You make me laugh. You are the ones that are a pathetic group of losers." Sakura harshly brushed, or more like hit her shoulder against Naruto's as Ino had and her walked away.

Naruto felt everybody's eyes on them, Sakura had been very loud and it had aroused attention to them. Kiba grabbed his arm and pulled him towards a table as far away from the others as possible.

"Sorry about that man, it was a slip of the tongue" Kiba looked at him apologetic.

"It was the truth, so don't worry. She is just ignorant and she'll probably always be."

Kiba nodded and silence fell over the little group as they ate.

Tomboy "I wish" He whispered softly. He really wished that could be it. That he was just the ordinary tomboy. When he was younger he had had a really hard time accepting the fact that he was really a boy. It did make sense, but he didn't want to acknowledge that. He had been an ordinary girl before, or maybe not ordinary. He hadn't felt completely at ease with the other girls, he always felt different. He wasn't into the same things, and had some problems with his body, but he was sure that was only because he was a tomboy. He was just a more boyish girl than the ones he hung out with. He was sure that he would fit in if he found someone like him.

Unfortunately he had later talked with other girls like him, but he found out that... they weren't like him. He still didn't fit in that category. He was more comfortable there, but it still wasn't perfect. He had surfed the internet and found the term transgender, and then the doubt started.

He had only read a little bit but he didn't dare to keep searching for more information. He was scared and confused and had no one to talk to. Some of the things he read seemed to fit and some of them didn't. It meant that he wasn't sure if he really was a transgender boy or not, but it had been enough to make him doubt himself. He just didn't want to be one. He wanted to be ordinary. He wanted a simple life, where he was a normal girl and got a normal boyfriend and everything would be great, but no, in a small amount of time he had learned enough to make him not only doubt his gender, but also his sexuality.

After this he became aware... of everything. He was aware of all the things he did differently, of the way he moved, his way of thinking, the things he wanted and the things he was envious about... and it didn't fit with what others did. He felt wrong, and tried so hard to act like all the other girls in the group. He tried putting on make up, wearing girly clothes and flirting with boys... but it felt wrong. He felt like a different person, like he was deceiving everybody around him, making them see a person who wasn't there. He hated how boys looked at him, how they touched him. Everything felt wrong and he loathed himself for a very long period.

He hated what he was becoming, that he wasn't true to himself, that he had to behave like someone else. But he also hated the side that told him his true self wasn't a girl. It had taken him a long time to accept himself and he knew that if he had had so much trouble other people would have it harder. Maybe Sasuke would react like this, with anger and disgust. A part of him wished he had never met Sasuke, because now he was sure he would loose him.

"I'll go to the bathroom, I'll be back soon" Naruto got up and hurried away from the others. He needed some alone time before he had to go back to class.

"Hey girl" A guy yelled after him. Naruto tried to ignore it. He had chosen to walk to the bathroom that were the furthest away from the canteen, apparently the wanna-be bad guys used the secluded place to smoke. Another guy pushed him against the wall. He was lanky build, with brown hair that reached his shoulders.

"So which guy hurt you?" He grinned and Naruto tried not to cringe from his bad breath. "I'm sure we can make it all better." a smaller, more muscular boy said on Naruto's right side. Another boy walked towards them and stood in the middle of the two others. He looked ordinary enough, lean build, short black hair and glasses.

He took the smoke from his lips. "What have we here?" He blew the smoke into Naruto's face making him cough. It was the same voice as before, so he guesed this was the one that had yelled after him. "Look guys, we have to be careful with this one, she doesn't like guys."

"I'm sure you'll love it, if you just give us a try" The lanky guy said.

"I'm not a lesbian."

"Oh, you're not?"

"No, so stop this harassment." Naruto was getting really annoyed. Why did he have to deal with all this at the same time, couldn't they just leave him alone?

"Then you wouldn't mind us having some fun, since you like guys." The one in the middle said, looking really smug.

Naruto tried to hit him, but was quickly grabbed by the two other guys. Each of them took a hold of one of Naruto's arms and pressed it against the wall.

"Tsk, tsk, you shouldn't be so violent, little one."

The tears stung in Naruto's eyes, but he refused to cry in front of them.

"Let me go" He yelled and tried to kick someone.

The one in the middle, the leader as Naruto named him, grabbed him around the neck and squeezed. "I would be careful if I was you, little girl."

Naruto felt one of the guys move his hand under his shirt. He tried to wiggle free, but the hold on his neck tightened, making it hard to breathe. The hand moved to his binder and he felt it feel him up.

"She's wearing something weird." The smaller guy to his right said puzzled. The leader lifted up Naruto's shirt with his free hand. He laughed "What a freak. Don't you know that you're supposed to show these off and not go around like this?"

Naruto tried hard not to cry, but the humiliation made the tears fall from his eyes.

"Awww, she's crying."

Naruto tried to kick him again, and this time he hit his shin, hard. The leader eased the grip on Naruto's neck and Naruto snapped at the fingers with his teeth.

"Just let that bitch go, she's too much trouble. But remember girl, if anyone hears of this, we'll be back." He laughed as he walked back to the staircase they had been sitting on. The two other guys released him and Naruto quickly ran before they changed their minds.

Naruto didn't really know where he was, some park close to where he lived. He had run away from school, just needing to gt away from everything. He sat down on the bench and tried to relax. A freak, a weirdo, that was what he was, and Sasuke would think that too. He couldn't take it. It would kill him to see that look on his face, the disgust, he had seen enough of that today.

Can we meet now?

Naruto pressed send and waited for a reply.

Yeah, were do you want to meet?

Sasuke had replied almost immediately and Naruto send him an address. Naruto didn't need to wait long before Sasuke showed up.

"Why did you want to meet?" Sasuke was panting slightly.

"Did you run?" Naruto laughed softly, somehow the thought of Sasuke on a mad dash over here seemed unbelievable.

"No..." Sasuke looked away. Naruto took a deep breath, he knew what he had to do and making fun like this wasn't going to help anything.

"Sasuke sit down" He patted the spot beside him on the bench.

"You're sounding awfully serious for once..." Sasuke said nervously. This atmosphere was wrong, he looked at Naruto and noticed something weird on his neck.

"What's this?" He touched the purplish mark. Naruto slapped his hand away. "Sasuke listen... I uhm... I think we should break up."

"What?" Sasuke yelled in disbelief.

"This isn't working for me, I just... it's not what I want, so I think we should split up and not see each other anymore."

So what do you guys think will happen now? Will Sasuke just let him go? Will it be possible at all for Naruto to get convinced they can last? Or will he never tell Sasuke the truth?

I'll try to update the next chapter soon.