Sorry.. Because of computer problems there has been major delays to this chapter even though it was finished almost two weeks ago. I hope you like it.

I have made this much longer than normally, since people have requested that, so hopefully this is alright?

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"Oh you didn't know. I can see how it can be confusing, but that freak gets a thrill out of playing a guy" Sasuke let go of Naruto as if he had burned himself. "What are they talking about?" Sasuke looked at Naruto, trying to get eye contact. "They are lying right" The sad look in Naruto's eyes was all he needed.

Chapter 19

Sasuke looked up and down Naruto but couldn't believe this was happening. "You're a girl?"

Naruto cringed from the lethal tone. "It's not what you think" He tried desperately, pulling Sasuke away from the others.

Sasuke snorted "Then what? You're just a girl part-time?" Naruto had managed to find a somewhat secluded area of the school, so he could explain his situation without someone screwing things up.

"I am a boy" Naruto said slowly, trying to figure out the best way to make him understand. Sasuke pulled his arm out of Naruto's hold harshly, making him stagger backwards.

"Yeah, right. You can't be both."

"I was born a girl, but I-"

"Just stop there, I don't want to listen to you anymore."

"But Sasuke-" Tears was welling up in Naruto's eyes. Naruto knew it had been a bad decision not to tell Sasuke from the start, but he had never imagined it would come to this.

"You made me fall in love for the first fucking time, and then it's just an illusion. It's not real. You're just a freak pretending to be something SHE isn't. You must have laughed so hard behind my back. Actually making the gay guy like you." Sasuke sneered at him. He knew his parents had been right, love doesn't exist. Naruto had deceived him, had laughed at him. Whatever it was that they had... it had all been nothing.

"I'm such a fool," Sasuke laughed bitterly, "apparently I'm not as clever as I thought since you could play such a joke on me. Were your friends in on it too? Was that what you guys were whispering about?" Anger burned through Sasuke and he clung to it. The anger was all he had, it was the only thing keeping him away from breaking. He had finally opened up, finally gotten a taste of true happiness and he had been lied to. He could never forgive Naruto for this. He was humiliated.

Naruto grabbed his arm, "Sasuke please listen to me."

Sasuke could see tears and sadness swimming in the depths of Naruto's clear blue eyes, he could see his pleading look as clear as day in his eyes and Sasuke felt himself falling apart. He couldn't cry in front of Naruto, not after what he had done. He wouldn't give him that satisfaction, so instead Sasuke did the only logical thing... he swung his arm back and punched Naruto hard on his jaw. The loud sound that reverberated between them made him cringe internally and he quickly ran off. He had to get away, had to find somewhere to hide.

Sasuke slammed his bedroom door shut. He leaned against it before sliding to the floor and tried to keep himself together. A girl... Naruto was a girl. He shook his head, trying to get the discovery out of his head. Wrong... wrong... everything was wrong. How could this happen? How could he fall in love so easily? How could he have fallen this much in love without even noticing? He should have kept his distance, he should have left him alone after that first night.

Sasuke groaned. Naruto had been in the gay bar... but he was a girl... How could everything be this messed up? Naruto is a girl. Naruto is a girl. Naruto is a girl. He kept on repeating those words inside his head, trying to believe them. He shouldn't like Naruto. He was gay... he had always been gay. He had never once in his life liked girls and had always been sure he never would. Girls were annoying and their bodies were disgusting. He tried to imagine Naruto with a girl's body, but couldn't. Naruto was a boy, he was the boy he had fallen in love with... he couldn't be a girl. It was impossible, they were wrong, they were all lying. He couldn't like a girl.

Sasuke pulled at his hair. Everything was wrong. He crawled into his bed and curled up in a ball. He felt lifeless and drained and he just wanted to forget about everything for a little while. He heard quiet voices downstairs and guessed it was probably dinnertime soon. He knew that if he just pretended to be asleep they would leave him alone. It wasn't like they cared enough to see if something was wrong. He sighed. Maybe this was all a cruel joke from the universe or karma or something... Maybe he was being punished for not being good enough? He had never been the perfect son his parents wanted. He laughed bitterly, ironically he had fallen in love with someone they would approve of... a girl.

Sasuke slowly began to wake up and grabbed his phone. It was already Monday afternoon and he should have been at his classes by now. The last couple of days had all blurred together. He didn't feel like eating and hadn't really left his bed He knew he hadn't done anything other than sleeping but at the same time he felt tired all the time. He wanted the sweet obliviousness, but he couldn't even escape it all in his dreams.

All he dreamt about was him... or her actually. Or whatever that thing was. Naruto was always in them: smiling, laughing, joking, and it made waking life feel like a nightmare. He was living in those dreams only to wake up and remember that no matter how happy he was in the dreams, he would never feel like that again. He looked at his phone again, noticing the large number of unread messages and missed calls he had gotten. He opened his inbox and went through them.

Sasuke, please let me explain. I didn't mean to hide it- delete

Sasuke, let's talk about th- delete

I didn't mean to deceive yo- delete.

I didn't tell you because - delete

He didn't read the rest of them, just deleting everything Naruto had sent him. He called his voicemail, hoping his suspicion wasn't right.

"Sasuke... I know you're listening to this, please… give me another change." The sound of Naruto's voice didn't make it any better and he quickly pressed delete. He had been right and he was sure the rest of the messages would also be from Naruto.

"Sasuke please call me back" His voice sounded throaty, as if he had been crying a lot. "I don't want to lose you" - delete. You should have thought about that before.

Silence. If he strained his ears he could hear soft sniffling. Sasuke was just about to delete this too when he hear it. Three little words being softly whispered into the phone.

"I love you."

Sasuke froze and just stared out into nothing.

"You have no more messages. If you like to hear this message again, press the repeat button. If you want to erase this message"... Sasuke wasn't even listening to his answering machine anymore.

His finger hovered over the delete button for a bit before he just hung up again. His anger was slowly bubbling up again as the shock subsided. Why couldn't he just delete it? Sasuke hated him, he had been deceived. He should be able to hate him, to just delete the messages and go on with his life. He threw his phone onto his bed, feeling destructive. Pacing back and forth in his room the only sound was the "I love you" that kept on repeating itself in his head.

He slumped down on the bed. This was why he didn't want to form any bond with others, it never went well. His hand slowly crept over the covers and grasped his phone. He knew what he was doing was pathetic and self-torture... but he couldn't help it. He called his voicemail again.

"You have no new messages and one saved message" a robotic-like voice slowly stated. "Press 1 to listen to your saved messages-"

Sasuke hesitated a bit before pressing. He lied down on his bed and closed his eyes. The whispering voice filled him up and he could almost imagine Naruto was there beside him. Once time became twice, then three, then four.. Sasuke kept on pressing repeat, feeling a stinging sensation in his eyes and a tightening of his throat.

Naruto was staring up into his ceiling. This must be what they called karma. He hadn't been honest with Sasuke and now he had lost him. He had written so many messages and called him again and again... but had gotten no answer. People always said that one's first love never went well, he was apparently one of those unlucky ones. He had guessed Sasuke would be shocked and maybe a bit angry since he had hid it from him... but he had never expected him to react this harshly.

He should probably have started slowly, to just tell him about transgenderism just to get him to think about. He should have eased him into this subject, to let him slowly open his mind to these things and then tell him about himself. It's easy to be wise after the event, but it wouldn't help him now. He just have to give up, it wasn't like he could force Sasuke to forgive him and he wouldn't survive being close to Sasuke if he was disgusted by him.

He heard his phone buzz and groaned. It was probably Kiba wanting to know if he was alright. He had call him later that day to know what had happened between him and Sasuke and he had told him they had broken up. Kiba was as always very protective and worried about him, so he had called everyday to hear if he was better and if he would come back to school. He opened the text and froze. He had gotten a reply. Sasuke had finally written back.

Let's meet somewhere. We need to talk.

Naruto was almost crying. He had been so sure Sasuke would never forgive him, he had for a second given up. He quickly texted back that he would be happy too and that Sasuke wouldn't regret it. Now he just had to convince him that he hadn't lied to him out of spite or as a joke.

You have to come as a girl

Naruto blinked a few times and rubbed his eyes. A girl. He had to come as a girl?

I don't understand?

Just do it or I won't meet with you

Naruto was devastated. He wasn't a girl. Sasuke didn't have to see him like that, he didn't want Sasuke to see him like that. It made no sense. He was a boy, therefore Sasuke should see him as such and not feel the need to see him in female clothing. He wanted to say no, to just give up and find someone else... but he knew it wasn't that easy.

Alright. Where do we meet?

Naruto was already regretting this. He had to go outside and look like a girl. He tried so hard everyday to hide everything female about him... and now he had just agreed to ruin all that. He received a text with an address and a date. He just hoped this would be worth it all.

Naruto stared at the mirror and a pretty girl was staring back. Her round, blue eyes was rimmed with a black eyeliner and mascara was covering the lashes. Her hair was short, but styled so it framed her face nicely. She was wearing an orange tank top that clung to her small frame, the deep v-neck did little to hide the fact that she didn't really have small breasts. A black short skirt and knee socks was covering her legs, completing the cute look. Naruto reached out his hand and placed it on the cold glass. The girl did the same and made it seem like they were holding hands. Naruto had a hard time wrapping his head around the fact that the girl he was looking at was himself. Sasuke had wanted to see him like this, so he had gotten some make-up and clothing from Hinata. He was just happy that he had given her an orange tank top the year before or he would have had to wear purple or something.

He looked down and was amazed at how he could still be surprised that something was down there. The sight he was greeted with just didn't fit the image in his head. He hated it. He hated feeling this wrong. Why couldn't he just be a boyish girl, why did he have to feel like this? He was just about to rub his eyes, when he remembered the make up and stopped himself. He just had to pretend he was looking like always and get this over with. It was just a bit hard since the bra was gnawing into his skin in a thin line just under his breasts. It was such a different feeling from the slightly uncomfortable press against his whole chest that his usual binder gave him. He walked back and forth in the room and even the slight bouncy feeling was hard to ignore. How in the world could girls live like this?

Sasuke was waiting in the small bistro he had arranged that they met in. He had finally decided to see Naruto mostly so he could see him in female clothing. He couldn't forget him and he was sure he would never get over him unless he did this. Naruto was a boy in his mind and he had to make himself see that that wasn't true. He had to see his female body to be able to realise that he shouldn't like him.

"Hey" Sasuke looked up and gasped. He blinked a couple of times and looked up and down the figure before him. A girl. It was definitely a girl.

"Sit down". The last bit of hope he had vanished. It had all been true. Naruto really was a girl.

Naruto sat down, not looking at anyone. The silence thickened between them, making Naruto even more nervous. He gulped, fiddling with his sleeves, trying to come up with something to say. "So how have you been?"

"Just fine. I even had a few twinks to warm my bed since you won't be sufficient, so it's not like I've been bored."

Naruto flinched. He wasn't sure if it was the truth or just something Sasuke had said to hurt him, not that it really mattered both options was painful. Naruto took a deep breath. This wasn't the reason he was there. He had come because he missed Sasuke, so he would say what he had to and then get the hell out of there.

"I know I don't have the rights to preach to you, but you should stop living like this. I know you think you need sex, but is not true. Sex without feelings will never be good enough for you. It won't give you the recognition that you long for, the thing you need is love. You need someone to love you for who you are, that's the only thing that will heal you."

Sasuke gaped at him. Naruto sounded... concerned... worried.

"I know that won't be me even though I want it to be, but couldn't we be friends at least? I never meant for it to happen this way... I know I was selfish. I just... it was just so incredible to finally have someone who saw me as me."

Naruto's voice was shaking and Sasuke wanted to reach out and comfort him. He tried to shake the feeling off of him. He shouldn't feel this way about her.

"You wanted to talk to me, so here I am. You wanted to see a girl, so I have dressed up like one. I did that for you Sasuke. I know you probably won't understand how big that is for me, how hard it is to just sit here looking like this. I'm transgender... that means I've been born in the wrong body."

"You can't be born in a wrong body. You're born either a boy or a girl and that's that." Sasuke said irritated, he wasn't having any of this. Naruto was trying to fool him again. Naruto tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"You don't get it, right? I don't think you understand the feeling of not fitting in with the others, it's a horrible feeling but it's manageable. What's worse is not fitting in your own skin, to feel constantly uncomfortable."

Sasuke tilted his head. It was true he hadn't tried the "not-fitting-in", or it wasn't the same. He had never had somewhere he belonged, but he hadn't really felt the need to have bonds with others.

"I don't just feel like a boy who has been forced to wear female clothing as a bet or something. I'm not just mortified. This is like a reminder... a reminder of how wrong I am... That I will never be accepted for me, that my body will never be just right."

Sasuke frowned, this wasn't something he had heard of before. Could this even be true? He knew some people felt bad about their bodies, but this seemed different. The seriousness in Naruto's voice and the pain in his eyes made something hurt within him.

"What can I do for you?" A waitress interrupted the heavy atmosphere.

"Coffee" Sasuke said, trying to get her to leave quickly.

"And what about you miss?"

Naruto's whole body twitched. Miss. It felt like the word stabbed him and he felt his hands began to shake. He couldn't do this, he had to get away. He had thought that maybe he could fix this, that he would be able to convince Sasuke, but it was too painful.

"Just give him tea."

Sasuke suddenly noticed he had called Naruto a him. The waitress looked at him weirdly but left them to get the drinks.

"I know this can be hard to understand for someone like you, but think about how I'm feeling. I'm a boy just like you, but have been so unlucky to have this body." Naruto pointed down his body, making Sasuke aware of the breasts he shouldn't have. "I like you, no fuck that, I love you. I just didn't want to lose you, so I kept on postponing this conversation."

Sasuke saw his hand halfway over the table before he noticed that he was reaching for Naruto's hand. He just seemed so vulnerable and he couldn't take that. It didn't seem like his feelings had changed at all even after seeing him as a girl.

Naruto squirmed in his stool. He had said all this but Sasuke hadn't really given him any response. He felt so exposed both physically and emotionally. It felt like everybody was staring at him, judging him. His arm brushed against his breast and made him look down. He bit into his lip, trying to keep himself under control. It wouldn't be good to break down in front of all these people.

"Here you go." The waitress put down the two cups and looked from Sasuke to Naruto and back again "You look so cute together, I really like your hair" She looked at Naruto "I don't have the courage to have short hair, I'm always afraid it'll just make me look like a boy" She laughed but Naruto felt himself grow cold.

Look like a boy. Like a boy. The words hurt. It was always "like a boy", not just "a boy". In others eyes he wasn't a boy, just someone who looked a bit like one. The tears was welling up in his eyes and he shot up and ran out the door. He couldn't take this anymore, he couldn't stay out here anymore. He couldn't let people see him like this. The waitress looked after Naruto

"What's wrong with her?"

Sasuke twitched. "HE just doesn't feel comfortable being here."

He didn't know why he suddenly bit back at her. He didn't know why he was defending Naruto. He just knew that he still loved him... and that Naruto was still the same no matter what he looked like. He had found him interesting because he was hot and didn't fall at his feet, but the reason he loved him was because he was a caring, warm, selfless and simple person. He didn't care about fame, money or a family name, and he always put Sasuke before himself. Sasuke knew what he had to do now. He had to find out what was going on and how it would all affect him. He really had no idea what Naruto was going through, but he knew he had to find out.

Sasuke was sitting in front of his computer, just waiting for it to start up. He had hurried home, knowing he couldn't make any kind of decision before he knew more. He opened google and started typing:

What does transgender mean?

Sasuke stared in surprise at the large number of posts that was coming up. Apparently this matter wasn't as unknown as he had thought, but that just meant he had a lot to read up on before meeting with Naruto again.