Two months later.
Sasuke was in the kitchen making them a drink, before they would sit down and relax. He had poured himself a glass of whiskey and was trying to make something nice for Naruto. He knew he was a lightweight, so he tried to mix it with a lot of soft drinks and coloured liqueur. Sasuke carried the finished drinks out into the living room and put it down in front of Naruto.
"What's this?"
"Your drink"
"Why can't I have what you are having?"
"I know you don't like it, it's too strong for you"
"So I'm not manly enough? You're just giving me this girly drink instead?" Sasuke sighed
"No, it's because you like these drinks, that's why I made it" Naruto still looked displeased.
"How many times have I told you already. I don't like girls, I never have and therefore I wouldn't treat you as one. You're being stupid again"
"So now I'm stupid?" The annoyance soon turned into anger. It was just like when Sasuke had bought him a necklace with a blue crystal on. He had just seen it in a window and thought it would suit Naruto. He had never thought it would turn into an argument, but then again lately they were fighting so much. When he gave him the gift Naruto just said he wasn't a girl, so he shouldn't treat him like a girlfriend. It had never been Sasuke's intention, but Naruto had gotten so sensitive the last months or so. He knew it wasn't Naruto's fault, of course it wasn't, but Sasuke was beginning to get a little frustrated. He hated seeing Naruto feel so bad about himself, and he could see the pain in his eyes every time he accused Sasuke of seeing him as a girl. He had no idea why he was thinking like that or how to make it stop.
"Why are you always twisting things around?"
"I'm not"
"Yeah, you are"
"No I'm not" Sasuke threw his hands up in the air in frustration.
"And now you're acting like a child"
"Why are you always like this?"
"Why am I like this? It's you that's the problem here"
"Me" Naruto gasped, feeling hurt. Sasuke almost jumped up and went towards the door.
"Where are you going?"
"Away" Sasuke yelled back and slammed the door behind him. He had to get out of there before he would do something he would regret.
All the anger disappeared immediately as he watched Sasuke leave him. He didn't know what was wrong, he just felt so emotionally lately and every little thing would make them fight. When he thought the day through he could always see that he wasn't behaving logically and that Sasuke wouldn't treat him like a girl, but it still hurt. The fact that Sasuke had seen him as a girl, the fact that he had called him out on being a girl. Those moments wouldn't leave his mind. He had had nightmares about it, the memories from that time. Even though it was only shortly he had been out as a girl, it had been enough. Sometimes he just wanted to curl up beside Sasuke and feel him put his arms around him and hold him tightly, but he was afraid Sasuke would think he was acting too girly. It seemed like everything reminded him of the fact that he was born in the wrong body. Sometimes even looking at Sasuke's face made him remember how he looked when he said those hurtful things. He just hoped it would stop soon. He always had a hard time controlling his emotions and right now, he knew Sasuke was getting angry at him.
Naruto curled up on the couch, maybe Sasuke would leave him again, maybe he found out it was more trouble than he had thought. It wasn't like their relationship would be normal. He wouldn't be able to give Sasuke what he wanted, not now anyway. Sasuke would surely leave him when he would find out just how long it would take before his body would be attractive. Naruto had been very sensitive to just where Sasuke would touch him or where he was when he was undressing.
Sasuke said he was okay with it, but Naruto was sure that Sasuke would see it differently when he would be confronted with his body. They had gotten a little longer sexually than before, but somehow it felt different now. He had liked whenever Sasuke took control, but now, after Sasuke knew... now it sometimes felt like he was mocking him. He knew it wasn't like that, but still. It was like he thought he was a girl and therefore he should be the one in control. Just because his body looked like it did, didn't mean he couldn't be the one in control or the one on top... he could. He knew he could.
Sasuke had managed to make himself calm down and was now staring at his phone. He knew what he had to do, his pride was just not agreeing to do it. Naruto had used his phone before to contact Kiba, so he had his number, but he wasn't a person who just asked for help. And to stoop so low as to ask Kiba for help.. well it was kind of hard for him. He pressed the call button and waited for him to pick it up.
"Hey Naruto"
"It's not him, it's me"
"Sasuke?"
"Yeah, I need to talk to you, can we meet somewhere?"
"You want to talk?"
"Yeah, it's about Naruto, so it would be wise of you to just agree to come"
"Alright, alright, mister bossy, I'll come. There's a little restaurant close to where I am right now, I'll text you the address"
"Alright" Sasuke hang up and waited for the text.
You couldn't have said bye or anything? God, how can Naruto keep conversations going with you when you just hang up on people?
Sasuke snorted, there was a big difference between Kiba and Naruto. It wasn't like he would just hang up on Naruto.. mostly because he knew Naruto would throw a fit and he would have to deal with the consequences.
Just give me the address, I want to get this over with.
Soon after he got the address and he hurried over there.
Sasuke walked through the door and saw Kiba sitting by one of the tables.
"Hello"
"Hey, what is it you want to talk about?"
"Naruto of course, it's not like there's anything else I could talk with you about"
"You really have bad manners, whenever Naruto isn't near" Sasuke just shrugged and sat down.
"I know Naruto is a boy and I don't treat him any different than I did before... but we have been fighting a lot lately and I was just wondering if he is like that with his friends too?"
"You're fighting?"
"Yeah, I'll do things and then he will get mad and accuse me of treating him like a girl" Kiba leaned back and crossed his arms.
"And are you doing that?" Sasuke immediately felt the "protective-father" vibe oozing out from Kiba.
"Of course not. He is Naruto, not a girl"
"It's kind of ironic. It isn't that long ago that you broke up with him and now you want my help"
Sasuke knew Kiba would never let that one go. No matter how long they would be together, Kiba would probably continue to rub the fact that he broke up with Naruto in his face.
"Can't you just be a good friend and help me. It benefits Naruto, so..?"
"I'm just still not sure if it's wise for you two to be together. You'll probably break up with him again later on, when you get tired of his problems. Naruto is an amazing person, but because he is a transgender boy he has to deal with a lot of problems, and so will you as his boyfriend"
"All of that doesn't matter anymore. I thought it did, but apparently I like him too much to care about all that"
"Fine" Kiba still didn't look too convinced, but he had come to him for help, so for Naruto's sake he would try his best.
"So what you're saying is that he is extremely sensitive lately?"
"Yeah, if I buy something for him, or make something that he likes, but is also viewed as more feminine or when.." Sasuke stopped and cleared his throat, maybe talking about sexual things between him and Naruto wasn't the best thing to do.
"Does he get angry at you too if you'd do something like this?"
"Not really, but then again, we doesn't have that kind of relationship and I haven't forced him to wear a dress out in public" Sasuke flinched.
"I didn't know about anything at that time"
"That's no excuse. I still think Naruto is stupid for forgiving you"
"But what should I do to make it better?"
"You can't really do anything else than to keep reassuring him that you see him as a boy" Sasuke sighed.
"But I do that already, he just doesn't listen" Kiba shrugged.
"You'll just have to continue"
"I guess.. You're not much of a help"
"This is just not something that's easily solved"
"I know" Sasuke got up again and went for the door. "Thanks, I guess" He mumbled without looking back as he exited the restaurant.
Sasuke slowly walked back home. He hadn't become any wiser and still didn't know how he should solve this problem. It had all been so great in the beginning, but maybe breaking up with him and forcing him to wear a dress would have a permanent consequence. He cursed at himself. If he had just known about it all at that time, if he had just stopped for a moment and talked with him... if he hadn't forced him to look look like a girl. It had all seemed so logical in his head at that time. Seeing the boy he loved in a girls body would give him closure, would help him get over him. That was what he had been so desperate for, to bury his feelings and forget him. Now it came back to bite him. He had finally accepted his feelings for Naruto, finally been able to let him feel anything. It was liberating to finally be comfortable with his feelings instead of denying they were there at all.
He looked down at his phone. Naruto hadn't texted him yet which worried him a bit. He knew Naruto was fairly insecure and him leaving like that had probably hurt him somewhat. He tried to come up with some excuse, anything to appease him... or maybe he should just try with the truth. That he was in love for the first time and had no idea what to do or how to help him right now. He took his keys from his pocket and opened the door to Naruto's apartment.
"Hey again" He said softly, afraid to look inside and see the damage. He got no answer and slowly walked inside, a bit more worried now. Naruto was lying on the couch with his back to Sasuke. He sat down on the floor beside him and gently touched his back. He felt him tremble beneath his fingers and looked at him intently. What was wrong? Was he crying? Was he maybe awake?
"Are you awake?" Sasuke whispered and leaned in over him, trying to see his face. Naruto's eyes were closed and his heart clenched painfully when he saw the signs of him having cried. He grabbed his shoulder and turned him over, trying to hug him to give him some kind of comfort.
Naruto slowly opened his eyes and looked confusedly up at him.
"He-" Sasuke was thrown back as Naruto threw himself at him, wrapping his arms around his neck. He burried his face into the crook of Sasuke's neck and Sasuke could feel dampness seeping through his shirt. He was baffled, but patted Naruto on the back, trying to figure out what was going on.
"Something wrong?"
"I-I thought y-you had l-left" Naruto sobbed.
Sasuke hugged him tighter and gently rocked him from side to side.
"Of course I wouldn't do that. I could never do that"
"You will someday, I'm sure you will"
Sasuke pressed on his shoulders, trying to move Naruto back. Naruto looked down, afraid Sasuke was trying to distance them. He felt a hand under his chin and felt his head being pushed up. Sasuke looked him in the eyes.
"I thought you knew how much I love you. I could never just leave you. I know I fucked up, I didn't really know how much it would hurt you at that time... or no.. I didn't care if you got hurt that day, but only because I tried to hate you. I had to.. I needed to be able to forget you"
"Uhm.." Naruto didn't really know how to respond to all this.
"But now I finally know who the real you is, and I like you even more. That will never change, and I really hate myself for hurting you so much that we're having these problems.."
"It really isn't your fault.."
Sasuke raised his eyebrow in annoyance. He hated how Naruto kept thinking something was wrong with himself.
"Okay.. maybe it's mostly your fault, but also mine. I should've told you from the start"
"Just forget it now.. no matter who's fault it was, we're in this together"
Naruto nodded, smiling brightly as tears fell from his eyes. Maybe Sasuke really wouldn't leave him, maybe he really did love him. Sasuke caught the tears with his thumb, softly smiling at him.
"What were you crying about before I came back?" Naruto shrugged softly.
"Nightmare, maybe... I have them often nowadays" Sasuke's eyes widened in surprise.
"Nightmare? What about and why haven't you told me anything about this before?" The last bit came out a bit more angry than he wanted it to sound.
"Uhm.. memories.." Naruto looked down and fiddled with the edge of Sasuke's shirt."I don't know why.. didn't really wanna talk about it"
"Which memories?" Sasuke caressed his cheek.
"Just.. memories" Naruto tried to nonchalantly shrug, like it didn't really matter even though he had to fight to hold the tears back.
"It's not just some memories, I can see how it affects you" Sasuke clenched his fists, trying to calm himself down. He was just frustrated at himself and this situation, it wouldn't help to make Naruto think he hated him.
"It's just... you know.. " Naruto took a deep breath, trying again. "It's just this..this whole.. you know, body thing.."
"Body thing.." Sasuke was pretty sure he knew which memories he was talking about, but he needed Naruto to tell him himself.
"When I had to dress up as a girl.. the way people looked at me... the way they spoke to me.. It just brought back a lot of bad memories.."
"So it's only old memories?"
"Uhm.. also.. The way you.. the things you" Naruto was sobbing again, trying to talk between sobs. He felt himself getting pulled close for another hug and heard a gentle humming in his ear.
"Sorry.." Sasuke knew it wasn't enough. He knew he had said and most likely also looked rather malicious at the meeting. He knew he could never erase those things, but hopefully he could help them become less hurtful.
"I'm so sorry.. I, I didn't know. I didn't know anything at that time.." He hugged him tighter and kept on trying to calm him down. He really hoped he would be able to make all this better someday.
I hope you liked this chapter. I had some problems with this, so I hope it turned out well.
Next chapter will be the last one.. and then maybe I will write an epilogue, if people want one.