"Okay, here's your juice" I handed both kids their sippy cups

They both were sick and were lounging on our bed watching a movie. They haven't moved in days and both were congested and running a fever. I hated seeing them so weak. All they did was sleep but Carlisle assured us there was nothing we could do but ride it out.

"Mommy my throat hurts" Abby whined coughing

"I know baby" I felt her forehead "Daddy went out to get more medicine"

Between both kids taking medicine every four hours, we've gone through a lot. I sent Edward out to restock. He was very reluctant to leave but it was either that or I go. I moved to the other side to check on Ryan. He was now sleeping but he was all congested making breathing difficult. Abby's eyes were starting to droop so I figured now was the time to sneak away. After I closed the door Edward walked over to me.

"Oh, that was fast" I laughed

"Vampire remember?" he wrapped his arms around my waist and kissed me "How are the kids?"

"Nothing's changed since the ten minutes you've been gone. Abby's still complaining about her throat and Ryan's all congested but they're both sleeping now"

"Their last dose of medicine must have kicked in" he placed a hand on my forehead "How do you feel?"

"Fine, if I was going to get sick then I would've already"

"You're probably right" he kissed my head "Why don't you go get ready for bed"

Did I forget to mention that I was sleeping on Abby's bed? I didn't have the heart to make them move. I quickly got changed and got into my daughter's pink princess bed. Edward sat on the floor next to me since we both couldn't fit with my big belly.

"Do you think they'll be better by next week?" I asked

"Hopefully, I would hate to cancel our vacation"

I was so excited to get to spend some time alone with my husband. I mean, obviously if the kids are still sick we won't go. I picked my book up off the floor and continued reading. Edward placed his hand on my thigh and closed his eyes. I wondered various times if he was sleeping. After a little while the baby started kicking hard.

"Edward!" I whispered trying to not disturb the baby

"What?" he picked his head up

"The baby's kicking"

He sat up and delicately placed his hands on my stomach, a huge smile radiating off his face. We both felt each of our children kick many times but each time was special. Even more so with this baby knowing all the issues we've had.

"I can't wait to meet you" he whispered to my tummy "And I know mommy can't either. But it's time to go to bed now"

He took the book out of my hand and placed it the floor. He snuggled close to my face and kissed my forehead.

"I feel bad that you have to sit on the floor all night"

"I'm fine" he shrugged "As long as you're comfortable"

"I am" I turned to faced him and grabbed onto his hand, bringing it close to my face and kissing it "I love you and wake me up if you need me"

"I love you too and don't worry I won't wake you up"

I rolled over in the bed at some point and saw that it was only two in the morning. After a while I noticed the sound of Ryan crying.

"What's wrong?" I asked sitting up and rubbing my eyes

"He just got sick. You can stay in bed, I got it"

"No, I want to help"

Edward sighed and helped me get up as we made out way into the room without an argument. Ryan was sitting up in the bed covered in vomit. His hands were shaking and his face was pale with a tint of green. Edward checked him over real quick to make sure he wasn't hurt but I think he was just scared or embarrassed. I walked over and brought him into my lap and Edward grabbed Abby out of the bed, moving her to the couch in the living room. I started to remove his shirt and pants while trying to calm him at the same time.

"It's okay baby, you're okay" I rubbed his back "We'll get you cleaned up"

He continued to cry at an ear piercing volume and I obviously wasn't doing a good job at comforting him.

"Edward can you run a bath please?" I yelled out

"Yep"

"Calm down baby" I hushed "You're going to make yourself sick again"

I carefully stood up and carried him into our large bath where I could smell the sweet floral and fruit scents wafting around the bathroom.

"Give him to me"

Edward held out his arms and I passed over our son so he could place him in the bath. He shrived at the contact and was still crying silently.

"Shh, you're fine" Edward hushed running a wash cloth down his back "Are you okay to give him a bath? I want to clean up the room"

"Yeah go ahead"

I pulled up and the stool and continued to scrub his hair with shampoo. He seemed to have calmed down a bit and was now just staring sleepily at the wall.

"Do you feel better now?" I asked him

"My tummy hurt" he cried

"I know baby. Let's get you all warm and cozy okay"

I lifted him out of the bath and wrapped him in a towel. He started shivering immediately. I brought him into his bedroom and quickly put a diaper on him. He was potty trained but with him being sick I didn't want to take any chances. I found some fleece long sleeve pajamas which he seemed to enjoy.

"Our bed is free so we should probably keep him in his own room now" Edward said walking back in "Do you feel better buddy?"

He shook his head and reached out for his daddy. Edward leaned him against his shoulder and rubbed his back.

"You feel warm" he noted

"It just doesn't end" I sighed crossing my arms

"I'm going to stay with him tonight, just to keep him cool because if I give him medicine he'll just throw it up"

"Okay well keep him close and don't hesitate to wake me up" I placed a soft kiss on Ryan's forehead "Daddy will take good care of you"

"Get to sleep"

I watched as he carried our sick son into his bedroom and closed the door behind him. Well, I guess I have nothing left to do but go to sleep and pray that our son will make a full recovery. I relished the feeling of the clean sheet on the bed and tangled myself in the blankets. My hand rested on my belly, cradling it and I fell to sleep rather fast.

In the next couple days Abby felt better. She was now sitting in the living room watching a movie. Her appetite was back and she now wanted to eat everything in sight. Ryan was still sick in bed and couldn't keep anything down. He was running a fever and slept all day.

"Can I have some cookies?" she yelled at me

"No, you just got over being sick and cookies might upset your tummy again. How about some goldfish?"

"Okay" she cheered "Can I play with Ryan today?"

"No" I handed her the goldfish and a drink "He's still sick so I don't want you going in his room"

"But I'm bored!" she whined

"Well maybe we can go for a walk but go play in your room for now. You've watched plenty of TV in last few days"

She obeyed and ran into her room closing the door. I quietly went into Ryan's room to check on him. Edward's been in there all night and refuses to leave his side. He hasn't 'slept' in the same bed with me for three nights now. The mood was very somber. The shades were pulled down, lights off, and ventilator on.

"Edward?" I whispered

"Come on in" he whispered back

Ryan was just in a diaper, sprawled out face down on the bed with his blankly clutched tightly against him. Edward was sitting on the floor by his bed. His hand was continuously stroking his back.

"He's so out of it" he sighed "He hasn't moved in over an hour. If it wasn't for his congested breathing, I'd be nervous"

"Well I'm going to take Abby for a walk to the big house, she's bored"

"Okay just be careful please"

Abby was very excited to go on a walk and I was excited to get out of the sickly house for a little while.

"Where are we going?" she asked

"I thought we'd go to the big house and visit grandma for a little while"

"I like walking outside"

"You needed the fresh air" I smiled

I let Abby ring the doorbell once we got there. Esme was excited to see us and immediately ushered us inside.

"How is everyone?" she asked

Abby ducked past us and ran into her playroom I assumed.

"We're doing alright, staying healthy"

"And Ryan?" she asked as we walked into the living room

"Um… not so well. He hasn't moved in a couple days but I think he's getting better. Edward hasn't left his side"

"Well I know that he'll make a full recovery" she reassured "How are you feeling?"

"Alright I guess, I mean I get tired easily but that's to be expected. Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, dear"

"I'm a little worried" I began and I could see her getting nervous "I just feel like I'm not enjoying this pregnancy as much as I should be. I don't feel as connected with this baby as I did the last two times. Is that wrong? Don't get me wrong, I'm excited but I don't just don't feel right"

"Honey it's completely normal. Don't forget that you are still getting over a miscarriage, every pregnancy is different. You've dealt with a lot this time around but once you see that baby it'll all fall into place"

"What if they don't?" I cried "What if I don't love this baby as much? Why am I even thinking about that?"

"You know you love this baby so don't think otherwise" she leaned over to hug me "I know you need to talk with Edward about this"

"He'll just tell me I'm being stupid" I muttered

"He would never!"

At this point Abby came back in, stating she was hungry. We both enjoyed a nice lunch outside before we headed back to the house. Abby had fallen asleep on the way. I let myself into the quiet house and noticed Edward sitting on the couch.

"I'm home" I announced

"Hey, what are you doing carrying her?" he rushed up and over taking her from me "Welcome home"

"How is Ryan doing?"

"A lot better. I got his fever to go down and his breathing is better"

More then once for the rest of the day I tried to bring it up but I was scared. He seemed so happy that Ryan was better and I didn't want to ruin his mood. We spent the majority if the day cleaning the house. Since both kids were sleeping I thought it'd be good to open the windows and air the house out. We did the dishes, cleaned up the playroom, and even did laundry.

"That's more cleaning then I think I've ever done" he laughed

"You should do it more often" I chimed in

The day was drawing into a close and I was a little nervous to talk to Edward about it but I can't hold it in. plus maybe talking about it will help.

"Are you staying in here again tonight?

"No, I think I'll spend the night with you"

I smiled slightly and walked over to where he was sitting by Ryan's bed. I climbed onto his lap, hugging him closely.

"Good, I missed you" I inhaled his scent

"I missed you too but I haven't gone anywhere" he laughed

"I know" I hugged him tighter

"Hey, what's wrong?" I knew he would catch on "Are you alright?"

"I need to talk to you" I knew by not answering it only made him panic more

"Well go get ready for bed then I'm all ears" he rubbed my back anxiously

"I'm okay Edward; really, it's not life or death"

That seemed to freak him out more so I hurriedly jumped off his lap and strutted to the bathroom. I could hear him groan and walk into the bedroom closing the door. Taking a deep breath I changed into my pajamas and went to join him.

"Are both kids sleeping?" I asked

"Don't change the subject" he smirked "Come here"

I clamored into the bed and curled into his arms. I was worried that he was going to tell me that I was crazy or put me in the hospital.

"I'm scared" I started off

"About what?"

"I've been feeling very disconnected with this pregnancy and I don't know why" I sniffed

"What you mean disconnected?"

"Like I'm excited but I feel like I haven't created a bond yet with the baby and I don't know if it has to do with the miscarriage or not"

"Sweetheart I'm sure it's normal"

"What if I don't love this baby?" I cried

"Do you know how crazy that sounds?" he sat us up and flipped open his laptop, hurriedly typing away "I think I know what this could be"

"What are doing?"
He didn't answer but showed me the page he pulled up. It was about something called prenatal depression. I started reading through the symptoms and realized they all described me.

"See?" he pointed "Can be caused by stress. You've had plenty of that lately. Look at all the treatments; taking it easy by relaxing when possible, spending time with your partner, talk about your fears & anxieties involving the pregnancy, and manage your stress"

"Easier said then done" I scoffed

He luaghed but grabbed my head between his hands so he could kiss me "I know but you could start with spending time with your partner"

"I like that"