SCENE CHANGE

Ralph: I am now at the top of this mountain... the fire's out... the plane is leaving... goddamnit I'm an idiot. Time to throw a fit. NOOOOOOO! COME BACK! *waves his shirt around*

Simon: I was swimming with Ralph! :D I'm not wearing my shirt, either.

Ralph: *kicks a log* Ow! My toe!

Log: I feel so unwanted.

Ralph: ...I hate them so much.

Hunters: WE NO LONGER SING FRIDAY! KILL THE PIG. CUT HER THROAT. BASH HER IN. KILL THE PIG CUT HER THROAT. BASH HER IN.

Ralph: I can honestly say I preferred Friday. This is kind of disturbing.

Random choirboy: YO, RALPH! *is drowned out by more chanting*

Sam and Eric: We think we're part of the hunters, but really they're just using us for free labor. :(

Roger: I seem to be throwing my stick up in the air and catching it. What if it hits Sam or Eric in the head? *prolonged silence* I should miss next time!

Jack: We killed a pig! We actually did! And I wasn't lame this time! We got in a circle and-

Ralph: YOU BETRAYED MY TRUST.

Jack: What?

Ralph: You... you let the fire go out!

Jack: So? Give me the fat kid's glasses, I'll light it up again. You should have come with us! It was so fun! There was BLOOD!

Ralph: I think Roger's getting to you.

Jack: But the blood... there was lots of blood!

Ralph: There was a fricking plane.

Jack: WHY MUST YOU KILL MY JOY?

Ralph: THERE WAS A FRICKING PLANE. We could've gotten rescued and stuff-

Roger: But I haven't even killed anyone yet!

Ralph: WE COULD HAVE GONE HOME! I COULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY FROM YOU PEOPLE FOREVER!

Simon: Don't you love me? :'(

Ralph: No.

Simon: I'm going to go kill myself now.

Roger: I can kill you for you! :D

Simon: No... that's okay...

Ralph: I am upset.

Piggy: WHY DO YOU LIKE BLOOD SO MUCH? IT'S CREEPY. I COULD HAVE AVOIDED DEATH, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT WE'RE NOT AT HOME!

Jack: Hey, unlike Simon and what you should be, I'm not a vegetarian.

Piggy: YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LET THE FIRE OUT!

Jack: *shoves random choirboy on his way to Piggy* I slap you with lots of slapping sound!

Piggy's Specs: Ouch.

Piggy: OH NO!

Simon: I'm going to remind you all why I have the most fangirls. *picks up specs* Here. Here they are. I don't want to get paired with you, so I'm just going to give them to you.

Slash fans: We can work with that. We pair you with Roger; some little interaction like that will give us plenty of material.

Piggy: JUST YOU WAIT.

Roger: Can I throw a boulder at him yet? He's annoying me.

Jack: Wait until we're proper savages.

Roger: Okay.

Ralph: That was pretty mean, actually. If you break the other lens out we won't be able to have fire, and what'll we do then? I'm pretty sure none of us know how to make a fire with sticks, and even after working at it for a while it'll be pretty suckish.

Jack: Fine. Sorry. About the fire. I don't care if Piggy's specs - or head, I'm foreshadowing - get broken. Get ready for this, because it's never going to happen again - I apologize.

Hunters: This is amazing. This has never happened before.

Ralph: So light the fire.

Jack: LIGHT THE FIRE, MINIONS!

Nightkill: They're talking about what they'll do tomorrow. I can't hear what it is, but from the slightly evil laugh I'm pretty sure it's nothing good.

Piggy: I'm all alone, there's no-one here beside me...

Ralph: Piggy. The specs. Now. *takes specs*

Piggy: HEY.

Ralph: I'm not as big a jerk as Jack. I'll bring 'm back. *hits Piggy*

Piggy: I would be offended, but he's the closest thing I'll ever have to a friend.

Jack: Let's roll this pig around in the dirt and smoke.

Choir: Yaaaay!

Random child twenty-five: I DEMAND A NICE PIECE

Nightkill: Why did Jack have a knife in the first place? He was a choirboy.

Random child twenty-six: *reaches over Sam or Eric to get some meat*

Sam or Eric: MY BUBBLE HAS BEEN POPPED.

The dead Pig: *looks completely disgusting*

Jack: Am I seriously licking fat off of my fingers. Ew.

Random child twenty-seven: *shoves meat at Ralph*

Ralph: For all of my 'you should have put the fire before the meat' I seem pretty enthused about this piece of near-raw meat.

Random child twenty-eight: *gives the camera a look that would make Roger proud*

Piggy: *looks longingly at the meat*

Ralph: *glances at him and continues eating*

Roger: It's like the bags under my eyes get darker every day... *bites meat ferociously*

Nightkill: Creepy look eight...

Piggy: Am I attempting sign language or something? Seriously, though. I'm hungry.

Random choirboy: ...Seriously, what am I doing?

Ralph: I'm afraid that if I don't eat this at the speed of light someone will take it from me. OM NOM NOM

Piggy: Finally getting up the nerve to ask it... Can I have some please please please?

Jack: Shoving aside the fact that Simon and Ralph here didn't hunt I'm going to tell you you can't have any because you didn't hunt. But it's really because you're fat.

Piggy: Ralph and Simon didn't hunt either! And Simon's part of your choir, he really should be the one you're getting mad at.

Simon: I'm adorable and selfless. Here, you can have my piece.

Slash fans: WE WERE RIGHT!

Jack: EAT, DAMN YOU! *throws piece of meat he was eating extremely hard at Simon, knocking him out for several hours*

Slash fans: Maybe we were wrong... *start shipping Jack x Simon*

Children: *laugh for no apparent reason*

Simon: Whatever. Free food.

Roger: Why, exactly, did I have the face-thing of the pig - or whatever this is - under my cool hat? Am I really that weird? Ah, whatever, I'll just wear it as a mask. And pretend to be a wolf.

Random choirboy: KILL THE PIG.

Roger: I'm pretending to be a wolf, idiot.

Hunters: *begin their creepy chant* KILL THE PIG. CUT HER THROAT. BASH HER IN. KILL THE PIG. CUT HER THROAT. BASH HER IN.

Simon: I seem to be joining in, too.

Hunters: . .

Simon: Nope. Too weird. I'm done.

Ralph: SHUT UP. THIS IS CREEPY.

Hunters: .

Ralph: I said... SHUT UP. THIS IS CREEPY.

Hunters: Sorry. Didn't hear you.

Ralph: Go to the beach, even though we can just as easily have it up here. By 'it' I mean an assembly.

Jack: You know, what if my handy-dandy knife breaks? What'll I do then?

Roger: I'm demon-like enough, my teeth should be able to be sharp enough to make a good knife. And one of them's loose, I know this from the book.

Jack: ...Good to know.

Ralph: Someone didn't follow my orders exactly, and this makes me completely and utterly convinced that we're all going to die. I don't know why I'm being such an idiot, but, hey, I'm chief, I can be an idiot if I want to. But, anyway, the most important thing is getting rescued.

Nightkill: Creepy look Roger gives the camera number nine...

Ralph: So. I'm going to put the twins on PERMANENT FIRE DUTY, because it's all they ever do besides betray me, so the rest of you people - hang on, wasn't Jack's hunters supposed to do the fire? Why were the twins doing the fire then? HAVE THEY BETRAYED ME ALREADY?

Sam and Eric: We only betray you because of Roger. He's creepy.

Eric: And sexy.

Everyone: O.O

Sam: That is one belief we do not share.

Nightkill: Seriously, Roger x Eric? Not only do I want to know why there's no Roger x Sam, but still? Roger x Eric?

Jack: Who cares if the fire went out? I mean, it's not like there was a plane coming - all right, there was a plane. It's not like we're going to kill a kid - all right, we are...

Roger: Two kids! Fatty, I know a rock that has your name on it...

Piggy: O.O

Jack: But anyway, I'm going to remind you that I KILLED A FRIKKING PIG. Me! I killed it!

Random child twenty-nine: *yawns* I'm bored.

Jack: I'm going to bring up the beast to make you all scared. If there is one, we'll protect you from it! I mean, if there is one, it's sure to be terrified of Roger. Everyone's terrified of Roger, except maybe Eric-

Eric: Oh, he scares me. He's just sexy.

Jack: ...Anyway, cheer, my minions!

Everyone except Ralph and Simon: Yaaay!

Simon: I'm shy.

Simon fangirls: HE'S SO CUTE I'M GONNA DIE.

Percival: I'm just gonna grab this conch here and stand and say nothing.

Random choirboy: What's your name?

Choirboys: WHAT'S YOUR NAME? WHAT'S YOUR NAME? WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

Random choirboy: We seem to be big on chanting.

Ralph: SHUT UP.

Choirboys: WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

Ralph: SHUT. UP.

Random choirboy: ...Your name?

Ralph: *glares* Anyway, what's your name?

Percival: Percival Wemys Madison... random address... OH GOD I FORGOT MY TELEPHONE NUMBER. TELEPHONE TELEPHONE TELEPHONE.

Nightkill: This kid is adorable. Look, he looks like he's about to cry. He's so cute! Maybe even cuter than Simon-

Simon fangirls: What did you just say?

Nightkill: Look, Eric has an open position in the Roger-is-sexy club!

Eric: JOIN ME.

Percival: I'm done. I can't remember my telephone number and this has completely crushed my soul.

Simon: I know the feeling of being rejected, too.

HAMMSTERS~

Ralph: I'm sorry-

Roger: I really don't understand why I have any fangirls. I mean, I understand the whole 'bad boy' allure, but wouldn't Jack be better for that? I mean, I'm just a creepy little boy that kills people, if creep little sociopathic boy equals fangirls, why doesn't Patrick Hocksetter from IT have loads of fangirls? We're basically the same person-

Jack: Okay, okay, enough using Roger for a mouthpiece for Nightkill's views, even though she herself is a Roger fangirl.

Nightkill: The first chapter's up! :D And also the second chapter will be posted tomorrow. And I have many chapters written in advance. So, yeah. I'm pretty excited about that fanfiction.

PRINCESASOFIA~

Roger: …Who's Luna?

Luna Lovegood: *makes a random cameo*

Roger: …Oh.

ROGERFROMLOTFOBSESSOR~

Nightkill: Hey, Roger x Simon's better than Jalph.

Ralph: At least I don't have an annoying voice like in the 90's movie… and I have an adorable smile, so there!

ENTERATRISK~

Nightkill: Thank you. :)

AGGIRL53~

Simon: Thank you for your review. Come again!

Roger: IF ONLY JACK WOULD RETURN MY LOVE-

Simon: OR IF RALPH WOULD RETURN MINE. THEN MAYBE WE COULD HAVE SOME YAOI.

Mr. Lizard: Presumably I survive in this version, so maybe we can make a date. ;) As long as Simon doesn't find out. He's the jealous type.

MEGAN777~

Simon: Th-thank you for asking, but, um, I'm nine or so…

Roger: …Oh. Um. Okay.

Jack: I have a soul? Well, more soul than Roger, and he's blond in this one!

Ralph: Thank you. At least someone thinks so.

Piggy: SOMEONE LIKES ME! :D

ALLTHEGOODNONESARETAKEN~

Piggy's Specs: I am the magical glasses of Piggy, therefor I can do whatever I want.

Random Child Twenty: I'm practicing for my future career as a priest. I got a little too into it.

Harold: The world may never know… ;)

SEERSTELLA~

Roger: You see, Simon is a waterbender and made a bubble to keep us mostly dry. I have no idea about the others. Also, we didn't drown and die a painful death because I am an earthbender and made us a path to land. Also, Jack's a firebender. He helped with the drying.

Ralph: Like Jack, I am a firebender. I got myself all dry. I don't know how we didn't drown.

Everyone else: MAGIC.

Once again, thanks for all of your reviews. :) I really appreciate it. This is quickly becoming my most popular story. Cx Seriously, it's got four chapters and the third most reviews out of all of my stories. Thank you. :D

AurorA